Second Chance Pass (17 page)

“Does she know about me?” Vanni asked.

“She does,” he said. “God, I hope she and I can work together on this. Most of all, I hope you’re not making a big sacrifice because of my screwup.”

“I couldn’t let a child of yours go any more than you could.”

“Vanni, I want to marry you, take care of you and Mattie.”

She frowned slightly. “Wait a minute—is there anything else you should tell me before you propose? Any other little secret stuffed in the back of your closet?”

“Honest to God, that’s it. Until very recently, I had the most boring life in Grants Pass!”

“You’re sure about that? Because until last week, I thought I knew everything about you. I mean, I’ve known you for years, lived with you for months. We spent so many hours just talking…”

“That’s it. Jesus, isn’t that enough? I want to marry you and Mattie. In fact, once we get the lay of the land, I’d like to have more children. Maybe at least one that we actually make together. I’d give anything for that, Vanni.”

She smiled. “Let’s see how many you have so far before we make those kinds of plans, huh?”

“Then you’ll marry me?” he asked, brushing the hair away from her brow.

“You’re a very interesting guy, Paul. It takes you years to tell me you love me, and minutes to ask me to marry you.”

“I’ll wait till you’re ready, but I want us to be together forever.”

The corner of her mouth lifted along with one reddish brow, teasing. “Don’t you think we should see how we work out sexually? See if we’re good together?” she asked, grinning playfully.

“Vanessa, we’ll be good together. Well, you’ll be perfect and I’m sure I’ll catch on eventually.” He kissed her again. “Are you going to say yes or make me beg?”

“Do you think I want to live with my father and have a weekend boyfriend forever? Yes,” she said. “I’m probably going to marry you.”

“Oh God, thank you,” he said, grabbing her to him again. “Is tomorrow too soon?”

“A little bit. We’re waiting on the Grants Pass baby, remember? It won’t make a difference, but I think we should know how many people we’re bringing into this family.”

“We’ll do that. Right away. That’s perfectly reasonable,” he said, grinning. Then he shook his head in sheer wonder. “You’ve been wonderful about this. I didn’t really expect you to come around so quickly. I thought you were going to drive me crazy…”

“Well, I’ve turned it over in my mind for a while now. When it happened, we didn’t know where we stood with each other. It’s not as if we said the I love you’s and you went to bed with another woman.”

“Yet you insisted I try to see if I could love her?”

“I had to be sure. I don’t want another woman’s man, even if it’s you.”

“You’re remarkable, you know that? In fact, your whole family is remarkable. Your dad was pretty civil about it, too.”

She was quiet for a moment, a startled look on her face. “My
dad?
” she asked.

“Yeah. He just wanted to be sure I wasn’t playing with your feelings. And he seemed kind of interested in how I was going to manage, financially. I told him the company’s doing well, that’s not going to be a—”

“You told my
dad?
” she asked, cutting him off.

Paul was frozen, staring at her for a second. “No,” he finally said. “
You
told your dad. Because he asked me if I planned on… Oh shit, what did he ask me? Something about whether I had commitments in Grants—” He leaned over her shoulder and let his forehead bang against the tree. “And I said, ‘Absolutely, sir—I’ll support the woman and my child.’ Oh God.”

Vanni, laughing, pushed him away slightly. “You told my
dad!
” she exclaimed, laughter shaking her.

Paul grimaced. “You didn’t tell him, huh?”

“Of course not,” she said, her eyes alight and her smile huge. “That’s a little personal, don’t you think? Plus, you said you still had to be sure it was for real.”

“Oh God.”

“Paul,” she said, “what did you do?”

“I thought you’d told him. What did you tell him?”

She looped her arms around his neck, but she was laughing too hard to speak for a while. “I told him we shouldn’t be surprised to learn you’d actually had women in your life before you came to Virgin River. That there was a woman…” And she dissolved into laughter again.

He leaned against her once more, pressing her back to the tree. “It isn’t that funny.”

“Are you kidding? It’s
hilarious!
” She laughed a little
more and finally said, “Paul, he’s a trained interrogator. You walked right into it!”

“I don’t see the humor…”

“Well, if you don’t have a sense of humor, I don’t know if I can—”

She was cut off by his mouth finding hers. In fact, he kept her from laughing for a long time, covering her with his body. They kissed and held on to each other. Finally he released her lips and asked, “You done laughing?”

“I am. I think you worked it out of me.”

He touched her swollen lips with tender fingers. “Do you think your father will shoot me?”

“Probably not,” she said, smiling. “But if you hear a rifle cock, you might want to duck.”

“Funny,” he said, kissing her again.

“I think I have whisker burn,” she told him.

“Yeah.” He grinned. “Looks good on you, too.”

“We have to go back. I have a baby to take care of.”

“I don’t want to go back…. He’s going to be waiting for me….”

“You might as well just face it,” she said, and laughed again. “We’ve been out here a long time.”

“Not quite long enough,” he said, and kept her just a few more minutes, afraid to let her go.

She wiggled her hips against his. “Paul, it’s pretty obvious, pinning me against a big old tree turns you on.”

“I know,” he said. “We need to get alone.”

“Uh-huh. I need that, too. Probably more than you do. And the sooner the better.”

Vanni left Paul to tend to the horses while she rushed back to the house to check on the baby. It took him the better part of an hour to get them brushed down and stabled, the tack put away. He might’ve been dragging his
feet a little when he went back to the house. By the time he got there, Walt was standing at the dining-room buffet fixing himself a short drink. Paul had lived with the man for months; even given the untimely death of his son-in-law, he hadn’t been a daytime drinker. If tragedy or depression didn’t drive him to the bottle, this had to be celebratory.

Walt turned, regarded Paul and lifted one bushy black eyebrow. “Fix you a little something to take the edge off, son?” he asked.

“Thank you, sir.” And mentally he added, “You dog.”

“Bourbon? Scotch? Canadian?”

“Crown?” Paul answered in question.

“My pleasure,” Walt said, selecting the bottle from the cabinet and pouring a short shot on ice. He passed it to Paul and said, “You didn’t do much undercover work in the Marine Corps, I guess.”

“No, sir.”

“Obviously.” He raised his glass. “Here’s to me winning the game I didn’t even know I was playing.”

“To you,” Paul said grudgingly.

After having a sip, Walt said, “I know you pretty well, Paul. Before today, I never had a doubt about you. So, I’ll only ask once—you plan to treat my daughter well?”

“Like solid gold, sir. Despite everything.”

“If you’re her choice, that’s good enough for me.” And he raised the glass again.

“Thank you, sir.”

“But really,” he said, chuckling. “You walked right into it.”

Vanni and her father were so alike it was scary. In addition, she had a fiery temper. And he asked himself,
Do I want a general for a wife?
The answer came quickly. Oh, yes. Oh my God, yes.

T
he general, knowing things had been resolved and were now heating up between Vanni and Paul, made himself scarce after dinner, leaving the reconciled lovebirds to the kitchen cleanup alone. But Tom didn’t have the facts and caught them in a serious lip-lock while they were supposed to be washing and drying dishes. Paul had Vanni pressed up against the sink, devouring her with yet another passionate kiss.

To Paul’s back, Tom said, “I guess this means you two have things worked out?”

Paul whispered in Vanni’s ear, “Get rid of him, will you? Please?”

“Go away, Tom,” she said a little breathlessly.

“About time, Paul. Really, I was beginning to think you were a little slow or something. I’m going to Brenda’s.”

“No curfew tonight,” Paul said, though his voice was muffled against Vanni’s neck. “Stay away all night if you want.”

There was the sound of laughter, then the closing of the front door, and Paul’s lips were on Vanni’s again.

“Vanni, honey,” Paul whispered. “Will you pack a bag
for yourself and Mattie and come away with me in the morning? Come back to Oregon with me for a few days….”

“Hmm. Good idea.”

“We’ll leave very early,” he said. “Like in an hour…”

She laughed at him. “We’ll leave at nine. I don’t want to rush the baby….” She gave him a little kiss, then wiggled away from him, putting away the last plate. “I have to go give Mattie his bath, then get him settled for the night.”

Paul spent what seemed to be an interminable two and a half hours in front of CNN, unable to concentrate on a word of it. After an hour he got up and fixed himself a drink, asking the general if he could get him anything. But the general declined—probably because he didn’t have what was best described as bridegroom nerves. Paul was asking himself a hundred questions.

He had no idea if he was a good lover. How does a man know? He’d been pretty successful at getting the job done, satisfying the woman he was with before thinking of himself. He couldn’t remember any complaints, but he wasn’t a man who’d been with a lot of women. Not by comparison to some of his friends, for sure. And never with a woman like Vanni. And with Vanni, he didn’t want to merely satisfy her—he wanted to bond her to him forever with the greatest pleasure of her life. He wanted their coming together to be sweet for her. Sweet and powerful. Paul wanted her to know he could be an adequate husband.

He heard the baby crying, then making sweet little noises while he enjoyed his bath. A while later he heard the tub fill again; Vanni was treating herself to a soak.

Would she cry over Matt when they finally made love? Would she remember him, long for him, miss him all over again? And how does a man handle that? Paul asked
himself. He wished he’d thought to ask Jack; Jack had married a widow. There must have been special challenges.
I’ve held her through a million tears,
Paul thought.
I can hold her through as many more as it takes.

He took a shower, mostly to distract himself, and when he came out of the bathroom only one light was left on in the great room, probably for Tom. There was a light under the general’s door and the sound of the TV in his room could be heard.

Paul stepped out onto the deck and stood under a cool, dark sky that was riddled with a million stars. The sky was so deep and clear, it was as if one could see into the next universe. He was barefoot and bare chested with his towel slung around his neck. He looked toward Matt’s grave, then toward the sky, holding on to the ends of the towel.
I swear,
he promised,
I’ll do my best, buddy. I’ll do my best by both of them.

He’d give the world to hear Matt snap back some smart-ass response.

Paul went to his room, dug around in his shaving kit, then went to Vanni’s bedroom door. He quietly turned the knob until it opened a crack. “Can I come in?” he whispered.

“What are you doing?” she whispered back, sitting up in her bed and flicking on the lamp. “Are you completely crazy?”

“Suicidal,” he said. He entered her room, softly closing the door behind him. The first thing he did was glance at the baby to make sure he was asleep. “I have to spend more time with you.”

“With my father right down the hall? With me in bed?”

“I don’t care if the whole Army is down the hall. If you won’t come away with me tonight, I just couldn’t stop myself. Are you naked?”

She rolled her eyes and grinned at him. She was wearing a gray T-shirt with ARMY printed on it. Yet on her, it sure looked sexy. And God, that grin—it was everything. It was his world. She was so strong, so sure of herself. He should have known she was ready for him, for them, or she’d have told him she wasn’t, because that was Vanessa. She didn’t play around, didn’t make mistakes with her feelings. She knew where she was headed; she had a will as powerful as the general’s.

He grinned back at her. “You should try to be quiet,” he said. And she giggled. “Vanessa! For once in your life…can you be quiet this once?”

“I don’t know, Paul. What are you going to do to me?”

He smiled and knew his eyes grew hot. “I’m going to get under that Army T-shirt. Unless you ask me not to.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I
want
you under the T-shirt. But really, this is way more bold than you usually are…”

“I’m turning over a new leaf. No more waiting for an invitation. No more waiting for just the right moment. I need you. God, do I need you.” His mouth covered hers, his hands slipped under the T-shirt, finding her breasts, and he groaned. “Aw, Vanni. Your bottom half is totally naked.”

She grinned against his lips. “Yours isn’t.”

“I’m trying really hard to talk sense into myself,” he whispered against her lips.

“I don’t think he’ll break down the door and shoot you in the back of the head,” she said. “He’s much more direct. And he hates dealing with me when I’m depressed. But you might want to listen for that rifle cock…”

“I tried like hell not to do this,” he said, lifting her T-shirt, his lips finding her nipples. “Turn that light off….”

“Not until you take off your jeans,” she said.

He raised his head. “You’re crazier than I am,” he whispered. “Are you going to be quiet?”

“I’ll try. Really. But if he comes knocking?”

Paul gave her an evil grin. “Anyone who touches that door is really going to have his hands full.” He tossed the towel that had been around his neck over the back of a chair in her room. Before unsnapping his jeans, he pulled some condoms out of his pocket and put them on the night side table. There were several.

She glanced at them and lifted one tawny brow. “That’s very optimistic, Paul,” she said with a smile.

“It’s probably delusional,” he answered, pulling the T-shirt over her head and tossing it away. His breath caught at the sight of her; she was breathtaking. And not the least shy. Then he stood, his hands went to the snap and zipper and he shed his jeans quickly, kicking them away.

Her eyes grew round. “Oh my. Dear God.” He was simply beautiful. A soft mat of brown hair covered his chest, his hips were narrow, legs long, and he was huge. Huge and erect.

He sat down on the bed and his expression took on an earnest look. “Are you all right since the baby? Are you worried about having sex?”

Her eyes were glued to his male parts. “I’m a little more worried about being quiet,” she said thoughtfully.

Paul turned off the light, claimed her lips and slipped down into the bed with her. His hands were all over her, caressing her back, her breasts, her firm, round bottom, her lush hips. And her hands were on him immediately, examining every part of him with her fingers and palms, stroking, rubbing. “I want you,” he whispered. “I want you so bad.” And his fingers slipped down to that damp place where her legs were joined. “Open for me, baby.” He didn’t have to ask twice; her legs came apart. He slipped a finger through her silky, slick softness and inside. He whispered against her parted lips, “Oh man, that didn’t take long….”

“Look who’s talking,” she whispered back. “You came out of your jeans ready.”

“Vanni, I’ve been ready for hours. I tried a shower, a walk outside, a drink…”

She reached over to the bedside table for a condom, began taking it out of the foil, but she didn’t quite get the job done. His fingers on her, in her, his mouth on her neck and breast, it was almost more than she could take. She began to tremble and grabbed his wrist to pull his hand away. “Stop,” she whispered. “I’m already too close. Wait.”

“No,” he whispered back. “No waiting. Let go,” he told her. “It’s okay. Come for me. Hard and fast.” And he kept touching her, stroking her, moving against her while he kissed her.

She spiraled up and over the top instantly, climaxing before she could even help with the condom. It was crunched in her clenched fist and she made a rather loud, growling moan and Paul covered her mouth as fast as he could, trying to muffle the sound under his lips, but he didn’t let her fall alone—he carried on with his rough caresses, taking her beyond pleasure. He continued until the storm was past and she collapsed, breathless beneath him, soft in his arms. The only fear he’d had was that for some reason he wouldn’t be able to do it for her—but he hadn’t even gotten started and she was gone. Off like a rocket. It thrilled him.

“Aw, baby,” he said. “That was special. You do that very well.”

“Whew,” she answered, weak. “I meant to wait for you….”

He took the package out of her hand and applied the condom. “I should have known. You’re a fireball. Let’s have some more of that, huh? Let me in, baby. We’re not done.”

With a passionate sigh, she lifted her knees and he worked his way inside, slowly, easily, until she took all of him. “Paul,” she whispered, clutching him. “Paul…”

He rose above her and began to move, slowly, evenly, deeply. He had to cover her mouth with his because the sounds she made would give them away. He grinned down at her. “You’re a screamer, aren’t you, sweetheart?” He moved some more and his voice was hoarse, strained. “Do it again, Vanni. Give it up.” Then he covered her mouth again and pumped and she went out of her mind, over the moon, beyond the stars—and an explosion of pulsing pleasure that left her totally limp and completely spent. “That’s my girl. You are
very
good at that…. I am the luckiest man alive.”

“Paul,” she whispered weakly. “I can’t keep doing that without you. What are you waiting for?”

He pecked at her lips and she could feel his smile, she could feel his teeth. “Just once more, sweetheart, come on. It’s so good.”

“I can’t,” she said, exhausted. “I just can’t.”

“We’ll see….” He slipped down, kissing and licking his way down past her breast, over her tummy and, pulling her thighs apart, gave her a few hearty strokes with his tongue, right in her center. She threw her head back and moaned loudly. Paul’s hand came up to cover her mouth firmly, which only made her squirm more wildly. He didn’t torture her long. He rose, entered her again and shifted his hips slightly, creating a perfect friction. In the darkness of the room, he could see her eyes were wide, her lips apart slightly as she gasped in anticipation. “One more,” he whispered. “One more, for us.” She arched her pelvis against him, digging her heels into the mattress, and again he had to cover her gasping mouth to quiet her. “I love you, baby,” he whispered against her parted lips. “I love you so much.” And then she exploded, drowning him in pulsing heat.

Paul was done holding back. He’d never had a feeling like this before. He let it go with a powerful blast and believed in his heart he was making Vanessa his till the end of time—his woman, the head of his family, the love of his life. And he was hers. He released himself at her exact moment and emptied himself into her, giving her his heart, his life, his soul.

And then he held her, soft against him, stroking her hair and pressing soft kisses into her temple. “I’ve never had an experience like that in my life,” he whispered. “You’re an amazing woman. I think I might be the luckiest man in the world, to have this with you.”

“Shew,” she whispered, letting out her breath. “I think you’re catching on….”

She was answered by a deep, low chuckle. “You make it so easy.”

“Come on, Paul,” she said, laughing softly. “Don’t pretend you don’t know—you’re an incredible lover. And I know there have been women…”

“Not very many,” he said. “There are things about this that are brand-new.” He rose up on an elbow and looked down at her. “It’s the first time I’ve ever made love with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, someone I want to be my partner, my best friend, my lover until the end. The mother of our children. It’s what’s been missing from my life.”

She was quiet for a long moment; her eyes might’ve glistened. “That’s very sweet.”

“It’s very true.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek, chin, lips. “Should I get out of here?”

“No. Stay with me,” she whispered. “Please…”

“Okay, baby. As long as you want me here,” he whispered back.

“Forever,” she said. “Is forever too long?”

He kissed her cheek and pulled her against him. “Might not be long enough… Give me a second in the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

He grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist. He was lucky; no traffic in the hall. He made it a quick, quiet trip and was back in bed beside Vanessa, pulling her close. Paul lay awake for a long time, just listening to her breathe, drinking in her scent. Holding her like this, naked against him, it was like a miracle. You don’t just go to sleep on miracles. You savor them, give thanks for them.

It wasn’t until Paul looked out Vanni’s bedroom window at dawn and caught sight of the general trudging down to the stable to feed the horses that he finally made the short journey back to his own bedroom.

Vanessa was in the kitchen in the morning with a cup of coffee, Mattie in his bouncy chair on the table beside her, when Walt came back from the stable. “Good morning, Daddy,” she said brightly. She looked at her watch. “You must have had a very early start.”

“About the regular time,” he said, going for a mug of coffee. “I’m going to miss the hell out of Tom. I’m just starting to realize what it must have been like for him, up so early, getting all that stable work out of the way before school.” He took a sip. “I’m going to miss more than that, of course.”