Second Chances (7 page)

Chapter 12

              The sounds of smooth jazz sang through the speakers as Paige watched her friend, Natasha, set up her ironing board.  Paige reached for her hot chocolate and was glad she bundled up for her visit. 

She blinked in disbelief as Natasha plugged her iron in, and reached for one of her husband’s shirts.

“You’re seriously ironing out by the pool, with these temperatures?”  Paige laughed.  “I always knew you were particular, but this is just crazy.”

“What?” Natasha laughed.  “It’s not that bad with the sun out. Besides, I do my best thinking out here.”

“You could do that inside too!”  Paige’s eyes went wide.

“You’ve seen my passel of kids!  Lump my husband in with them, and I’m never alone!  They don’t bother me out here.  And when I’m by myself, I can clear my head.”  Natasha nodded toward an aerosol can of starch.  “Hand that to me, please.”

Paige stood and reached for the can from the patio table, and walked it over.

“If this is your alone time, am I interrupting?”

She dropped the can in Natasha’s hands and quickly retreated to her seat, away from the elements.  Natasha didn’t seem to notice the cold breeze as it swept across the pool – but Paige was thoroughly chilled.  She grabbed for a blanket and snuggled into her chair, before almost inhaling her hot chocolate.

“Of course not!” Natasha beamed from across the patio.  “I don’t get any girl-time either.  This is still me-time.  So, catch me up!”

Just then Paige heard someone yelling from inside.

“Mom!”

Natasha rolled her eyes and grinned.  “The natives are restless.”

Travis, one of her teenaged twins, stepped outside looking lost. 

“Mom, I can’t find my favorite jeans.”

Natasha nodded knowingly.  “That’s because I washed them.”

“Mom.  I told you not to do that.  I have to wear them tonight.  Turner and I are going to the game!”

“I know.  That’s why I washed both yours and your brother’s jeans, and they’re folded in your closets.  Check where they belong – not where you left them last.”

A look of relief washed over her son’s face. He quickly crossed the back patio to kiss her on the cheek. 
              “Thanks,” Travis muttered, before running back inside.  “It’s cold out here.”

As Paige watched the exchange, her heart sank.  To see the inner workings of a loving family, in which a mom effortlessly cared for her children tore at her from the inside out.  She tried hard not to tear up.

Natasha watched her child run back inside with joy.  She had such sweet kids and knew how blessed she was.  However once she saw the empty stare her friend displayed, as she gazed into the pool – she knew something had struck a chord for Paige. 

She turned the iron off and set it aside before walking over to join her.  As she sat down, she set a hand over Paige’s and searched her eyes. Paige gave a smile in return, but there was no light in her eyes.

“Everything okay?”  Natasha kept her eyes locked on Paige’s.

Paige wanted to confide in her friend but if she opened up everything might erupt. Overwhelmed and disappointed that her idea of her forties was nothing like she’d planned, she sank deeper into her chair.              Natasha nodded knowingly.  “You alright?”

              “Yeah.”  Paige sipped the last of her cocoa and set the mug down on the table, next to her.  “It’s just seeing you with your kid…” 

              Natasha sunk into the couch next to her friend, knowing how hard it must be to see the life you’d dreamed of that never came to fruition.  She sat there knowing there was nothing she could say to comfort Paige.  The only thing she could offer was her shoulders to lean on.

              Paige looked up to the sky as a tear escaped down her face. 

              “Davis always said we’d start a family as soon as he made partner.  Then it was as soon as the next big case was done.  It was always something, and then he left me.   And now it’s too late.” She laughed and wiped her face dry, before continuing, “I’m not going to find anyone who would want to start a family this late in life.  Who am I kidding?  I’m done with men.  Even if there was someone for me – I’m not sure I’d care.”

“Oh, Paige.”  Natasha pulled her friend in tight.

“I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t be dumping this on you.”

She pulled away from her friend’s embrace, letting her sobs subside.  “You have a great family.  You’re really lucky.”

              “I do – but you’re allowed to feel your way through this.” Natasha saw her friend stuffing her emotions back down.  She stroked her arms, and continued, “If you didn’t - you’d explode.  So, tell me how you feel.”

              Paige thought about it for a moment, as she’d never been able to talk to anyone about this.  She winced unsure.

“Trust me, Paige.  It will help to talk to someone.”

She took a deep breath and dove in.             

              “How do I feel? I’m pissed.  I had a plan for my life!”  Paige tucked her feet beneath her, sitting Indian style on the couch.  “I was going to be happily married and have babies … lots of them!”

              Natasha nodded and wiped the tears from her friend’s face. 

              “I want to shoot Davis for putting it off, and now I’m never going to have my own baby.”  Paige choked.  “I’m mad at Davis and … God. I did everything right.  And both let me down.”

              She could understand.  If her husband had treated her the way Davis did Paige, she’d feel the same way.  However, she hoped Paige wouldn’t hold a grudge where her faith was concerned.

              Paige instantly felt bad for admitting her anger at God and shook her head. 

              “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I didn’t mean to …”

              “It’s okay.  You’re allowed to be mad.  God understands it.  Just don’t stop looking to Him through it all.  He’s got this.”

              Paige shook her head and knew she was right.  She had always had a firm grasp on her faith growing up and as an adult.  However, lately, she wondered where God was in all of this.

              “Thanks.”  Paige let a breath.  “I didn’t mean to come over and unload.  This was supposed to be girl time.”

              Although upset at herself for divulging any of it – it felt good to finally talk with someone.  Even though her family had been there for her – she’d not been able to confide in them without the threat of their over involvement.  The last thing she was looking for was a lecture or any advice. With Natasha, she had an unbiased audience, which was a rarity.

              Natasha nodded.  “Honey, girl time isn’t just about getting to the good stuff.  It’s also about unloading your burdens.  So don’t give this a second thought.  It's why I invited you over was to see how you are.  It’s okay that you’re struggling.  Own up to it, feel it, and work your way through it.  And I’m here to help in any way.  Heck, you can have my kids anytime you like!”

              As if on cue, her other twin stuck his head out the door.  “Mom!  I can’t find my …”

              “They’re in your closet – folded and clean!”  Natasha yelled over her shoulder, without even looking toward the door.  She gleamed at Paige, and said, “Please take them.”

              “Thanks!” Turner pulled the door shut, leaving them alone.

              Paige laughed at the rhythm her friend had down to a science within her home.  Now she understood why she chose to iron out by the pool, even in the midst of the winter breeze.

              “I’ll keep that in mind.”  She smiled.  “Thanks for listening.  I don’t know how you do it all.”

              “One day at a time my friend – just like you’ll have to.”  Natasha raised her eyebrow and stood.  From her vantage point, above the landing by the pool, she could see over her privacy hedge to Sam’s house.  She smiled at the sight of Nick, as he jogged up the walkway to visit his friend.

Earlier in the week Paige’s brother, had confided in her that he’d been testing the waters with Nick, to set wheels in motion toward reaching out to Paige. Natasha picked up her iron, wondering if they’d crossed paths yet.

              “So tell me.  Anything interesting happening in your life now that you’re back in Granite?” She innocently asked.

              “Nope.  Just learning the ropes at work, and trying to avoid anyone I know.”  Paige grimaced.  “I can’t tell you how many times I have to avoid someone at the grocery store, to keep from telling them that ‘yes I live her again’ and ‘no, I’m not married anymore’.  I feel like a broken record.” 

              Natasha nodded.  “So, who have you seen since you’ve been back?”

              “Mostly family friends.”

“Any classmates?”  She approached the subject she piqued Paige’s interest.

“Just a few people.  I actually ran into Nick Granger last week.”  Paige raised an eyebrow and absentmindedly smiled.  Just saying his name had an effect on her.

              “Really?”  Natasha watched her face flush at the mention of his name.  Sam might be on to something.

              “Did he look the same?  You know … he’s divorced too.”

              Paige looked up to her friend’s mischevious eyes and grinned. 

              “He looked the same give or take a few years, and you’re barking up the wrong tree.  Besides … he wouldn’t be interested in me.  I’m always going to be Sam’s little sister.  And … I’m not going to think about dating anyone – let alone Nick Granger.” 

              “Why not?”

Paige gave her a look, to which Natasha held up her hand in defense.

“Okay – okay. I was only trying to say that you never know.  I remember how he used to look at you in school.  Now that you’re both grown-ups …” 

As Natasha pressed her husband’s shirt,  Paige let her words sink in.  She grinned before saying, “Actually, he stopped by the parking lot at work.  He was waiting for me after my shift last week.”

“What?” Natasha placed a hand on her hip.  “See?  I told you!”

“No.” Paige shook her head and waved her off.  “He was just being friendly.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow at Paige and turned her iron off once more.  “Now this is girl talk – spill the details.”

As Natasha stepped back over to sit next to her, Paige wanted to discount the weight that was lifting from her heart.  She wanted to ignore the thrill in the pit of her stomach when she thought of him, but she couldn’t deny the effect Nick had on her.  Finally, she grinned from ear to ear happy to speculate with her friend, like they once did when they were teens.

Chapter 13

Sam twisted the cap off his beer and handed a second to Nick, who seemed preoccupied with the view from his front window.  He casually stepped in behind him to see why Nick was so distracted, only to smile at the sight of  Paige’s car in his neighbor’s driveway.

“Have you seen her yet?” He asked, reaching for the remote.

“Huh?” Nick turned from the window, hoping to see her when she left. “Oh. Paige? Yeah, I got a chance to see her at Tight Ends last week.”

Nick omitted the part about him waiting for her outside after her shift was over, unsure of how Sam would react.

“So?”  Sam sat and looked expectantly up to his friend, who looked back through the curtains.

“So what?”  Nick pushed the drapes back further and faced Sam, whose dimples were set deeply in place, as he grinned at him from across the room.

“So when are you going to ask her out?”

Nick blinked.  “Are you serious?  She just got divorced - and so did I.”

Sam swallowed another swig of his Corona, and gently shook his head.  “You’ve been divorced for almost a year and a half.  And, she’s been in an empty marriage for almost a decade.  I’d say its safe to say you two are overdue for a chance at happiness.”

“Man, you know I can’t date my friend’s sister.”  Nick settled into an easy chair next to Sam, which still had a decent vantage point to the front of the house.

Sam laughed.  “Maybe if you’d kissed her all those years ago, we wouldn’t be sitting her now talking about divorce.”

Nick shot forward nearly choking on his beer.  “What are you talking about?  I would never have made a move on your sister, let alone kiss her. You would have killed me.”

“Yeah, right.  Don’t think the whole school didn’t know you saved your last chance kiss for my sister.  I saw you waiting for her in the bus tunnel our senior year … and so did Davis by the way.”

“No way!”  Nick laughed.  “Was I that transparent?  You knew I had a thing for her, and you let me suffer in silence?”

Sam threw his head back and laughed.  “Dude – everyone knew.”

“Did Paige?” His face burned.

Sam shook his head and sighed.  “No clue, but I know she thought you were cute.”

“Really?”  He grinned, hopeful. “What about Davis?”

Sam’s eyes twinkled. “Davis might have thought you were cute too.”

“Shut up, man.”  Nick narrowed his eyes.

At that time, they both heard a door slam from outside.  Nick’s eyes flew back to the window, where he could see Paige slipping into the driver’s seat of her car. He looked at Sam, who nodded, saying, “Go.  I’ll pause the game and wait for you.”

Nick didn’t waste time anytime.  He set his drink down and rushed to open the front door.

Paige hesitated before starting her engine.  She thought she’d stop in to see Sam when she left Natasha’s but stopped short at the sight of Nick’s truck at the curb.  She wondered if his ears were burning, and hoped they’d not been in Sam’s backyard, where they could have easily overheard them talking.

For a second, she wondered if he’d even want to talk to her again after the way she blew him off in the parking lot.  She could have stayed to see where things led, but her bruised ego got in the way. Who was she kidding?  She was far from ready for anything along those lines.

As she buckled her seat belt, she heard a soft tap on the window of her car.  She spun around to see Nick grinning outside her door.  She wanted to be unaffected by his rugged good looks, but couldn’t help but feel like she was instantly transported back to that young girl with the hopeless crush.

Get it together, Paige.  He’s a grown man now.

The thought had her reeling. She inhaled a short but deep breath and finally rolled down her window.

“Hey there.” She smirked, unsure of what to say.

“It seems I’m standing out in the cold for you a lot.” He joked and tucked his hands into his coat pockets.

“I know.” She blushed. “Hey, I’m sorry about the other night.  I didn’t mean to be rude.” 

He loved seeing her cheeks take on color.  Maybe he had an effect on her after all.

“Don’t worry about it.  I didn’t think a thing about it.  Besides, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Nick leaned in and rested his arms on her door.  “It’s just good to see you after all these years.”

“Yeah, it’s been a long time.”  Her pulse quickened as he searched her face.

“You don’t look a day older.” Nick looked down at her full lips and wondered what would have happened in school if he’d had the chance to kiss them.  He may have hesitated when he was in school, but if he had half a chance now – he wanted to take it.

Paige cocked her head.  If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear he was flirting with her.  Since all she knew was life with Davis, she had no clue how to read Nick. The thought of her marriage brought her back to reality.

“Well, trust me – I feel a lot older.”  She dropped her eyes to the steering wheel.

Nick noticed her shift in mood and wondered if he would be able to break through the walls she’d built around herself.  From the few things he’d learned from Sam, he knew Paige hadn’t known true love.  Although he thought he’d had it once with his ex-wife, he now knew what he had with her was a façade.  He was ready for someone to love, who could love wholeheartedly in return – and wanted Paige to feel the same.  If he timed it right – and if she was ready – they could build something beautiful together.

Testing the waters, he said, “Were you going to come over to see your brother?”

A look of guilt crossed her face, and she blushed once more.

“I was, but…”

“You saw my truck and decided against it?”

She threw up her hands.  “You caught me.”

He loved the sound of her laugh and hoped he could provide more of them for her.

“Does being that close to me scare you?” He teased.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Granger.”  Paige’s heart skipped a beat.  This playful banter was hitting too close to home.  She actually was afraid of what she felt when he was around, and if he kept smiling at her – she was afraid of what she might do.

“Why don’t you come in?  We were just going to watch the end of the game.”  He took a step away from the car, hoping she’d stop her engine and open her car door.

Paige shook her head.  “No, I can’t - but thanks.  I’ll see you around, though?”

Nick sighed.  “Okay.  See you.”

Sam stepped outside in time to see Paige’s car back out into the street and drive away.

As Nick took the steps back up the porch, he made a face and said, “Crashed and burned.”

Sam was impressed that he’d moved so fast.  “You asked her out?”

“Not really.  I asked her to come in to watch the rest of the game with us.”

“Oh, well that’s what every girl wants to hear.  Come hang with us dudes and watch a game.  No wonder she turned you down.”  Sam laughed and slapped his friend on the shoulder.  “You’re not going to get anywhere like that.”

Nick tilted his head and said nothing.  He didn’t ask her out because she wasn’t ready.  Heck, he didn’t even know if he was, but ever since he’d heard she was back in town – he couldn’t get her out of his mind. 

All he knew is that he’d have to tread lightly, as she was still reeling from how Davis cut her loose. So, when he asked her out - he wanted to make sure he was the only man on her mind - with no hint of Davis Jefferson lingering in her thoughts or her heart.

Sam watched the wheels at work in Nick’s mind, and said, “Come on.  Let’s unpause the T.V. before the wife and kids get back.” 

Nick nodded, taking one more look toward the street, wondering what it would take to gain Paige’s trust and then joined Sam for the game.