Second Chances (19 page)

Chapter Thirty-Three

ALLEGRA WOUND HER long dark hair tightly into a high ponytail, and combed her fringe through. It was just the right length; Robin was a genius. Just long enough to sweep her eyelashes, without poking her in the eye. She’d have to go back to him and trim it every week to keep it at that optimum length, but it was worth the hassle.

‘What on earth are you doing?’ Liz appeared at the bedroom door, scrutinising her. ‘Geisha look tonight, is it?’

Allegra
had put on a floor-length dress in crimson embroidered silk, inspired by Japanese kimonos but with a twist. Instead of being loose and flowing, the dress hugged her curves snugly, with a slit running from ankle to mid-thigh.

‘Yup, I am going geisha-glam. This is my alter-ego. Just call me Naomi Satoshi,’ she said, doing a twirl for Liz’s benefit. ‘I am queen of the Eurasian Nation. I married a gorgeous Japanese man because I liked his surname. I am Tokyo-a-go-go. I will flutter my eyelashes alluringly, flatter the boys excessively, and have more fun than one person should be allowed to have. In fact, I think I might just have your share of fun tonight, too.’ She stuck her tongue out at Liz.

‘And what is behind all this?’ Liz asked, eyebrows arched so high they practically disappeared into her hair.

‘Fun, fun, fun. I’m forty and fabulous, darling, get used to it,’ Allegra said, giggling.

‘Have you been at my medication again? Because you know that stuff’s no good for you. I’m hardened to it; it has no effect on me. You, on the other hand… half a Xanax and you’re blithering like an idiot. What I want to know is, why are you doing this?’

When
there was no reply from Allegra, who was very deliberately and unnecessarily re-applying liquid eyeliner to the corners of her eyes, Liz sighed. ‘This is all about Jack, isn’t it?’

Allegra’s
hand halted in mid-air and she slowly inserted the eyeliner wand back into its tube. Straightening her shoulders, she looked Liz in the eyes and said, ‘Yes. This is about Jack. This is about forgetting Jack. It’s all about forgetting Jack. Now, are you just going to stand there with your mouth pursed like a cat’s bottom, or are you going to get changed and come help me forget about Jack?’

Liz
could see her friend’s lower lip tremble slightly. She wished there was something she could say, anything she could do, to make her pain go away. Anything but let Allegra go on this self-destructive bender she was clearly set on.

‘Oh for… alright then, if only so that at least you have someone to stop you making a complete fool of yourself. And mind, I am only agreeing to accompany you on condition that I get first right of refusal of any bloke you start eyeing up,’ she said.

‘You get first right of refusal? What do you mean?’ Allegra asked, doubtfully.

‘Meaning that unless I give you the thumbs up on any particular bloke, you have to tell him to get lost. Deal?’

‘Deal. Is Luke coming with us? He can have second right of refusal, thereby guaranteeing that no man will pass muster and I will die a born-again virgin under your watchful and loving care.’

‘I’ll call him. We were going to go to watch a movie, but this promises to be a lot more challenging. Kind of like Fear Factor, only without having to eat gross insects. Plus he’s useful with an ice-bucket and those fireman lifts he does on you are just great, especially in that dress… He’ll probably be doing practice lifts just for fun so that the few remaining people in Lan Kwai Fong who haven’t yet seen your knickers, will.’

Allegra
threw her arms around Liz. ‘Thank you. What would I do without you? Now go put some nice pants on, you never know, you might feel the need to show off your knickers yourself.’

She
turned back to the mirror and resumed re-applying her make-up needlessly.

‘Yes, that’s right, I’m 2,000 months’ pregnant, I look like an elephant, and I’m going to go put on sexy underpants just so I can flash them at every drunken idiot in Lan Kwai Fong,’ Liz snorted. ‘You’re lucky I love you so damn much. You realise how sickening it’s going to be for me to not be able to drink while you get yourself spannered?’

Allegra
had simply blown her a kiss and grinned. Liz looked thoughtfully at her friend. She was worried. Allegra had been off the scales for weeks now, and Liz didn’t know why. She had turned up to their New Year’s Eve party looking pale and drawn, smiling too brightly and too determined to have fun.

For
the first time since they’d known each other, Liz knew that Allegra was keeping something from her, something that must be so terrible that she couldn’t even speak about it to her best friend. She decided to let Luke in on her concerns, perhaps he could discreetly weed some clues out of Allegra later that night.

After
dinner at Hotung, they ended up at dragon-i, Allegra having insisted on an Oriental “theme” night to go with her outfit. ‘I am Naomi Satoshi,’ she had snarled at the door bitch at dragon-i. ‘I go where I want. Now, get out of my way before I bite you.’ She’d bared her teeth and, to her credit, the bouncer simply found it highly amusing and let them in, saying, ‘Gilbert is just going to love you’, to which Allegra had snapped back, ‘Love me? Darling, he’s already tried. I chewed him up and spat him out.’

Dragon-i
was filled with the usual throng of paparazzi fodder: spaced-out models, bored tai-tais married to millionaires who spent more money on lunch than Allegra made in a month, celebrities, wannabees, sleazy bankers leering at the beautiful boys and girls… Luke looked around, bemused. ‘Are these people for real?’ he asked.

Liz
nodded, rolling her eyes. Allegra had merged into the crowd and was, rather incongruously considering the pounding beat of the dance music blaring out of the concealed speaker system, slow-dancing with a particularly gorgeous boy who looked intent on fusing his groin to hers.

‘Luke…’

‘Say no more. I’m on the case.’ Luke grinned and did a silly arse-shimmy as he moved into the crowd toward Allegra, heading to her rescue. Liz laughed. He was great, he really was. She’d never have thought they’d still be together; she had assumed that first night with him would also be the last. Not that that would necessarily have been a bad thing; it had been an awesome night of mind-blowing sex, and she was nervous about relationships anyway.

But
Luke had been really, really cool. He’d never pushed her, always took a refusal to an invitation with good grace, always waited just the right amount of time before calling her again, and she always invariably said yes in the end, because they always had a good time together. And the sex just got better — that was another lure. Liz knew she was in love with him, but for the first time in her life, the idea didn’t scare her to death. Now, here he was, the knight in shining armour again, off to save Allegra from herself.

Settling
down uncomfortably on a bar stool, Liz watched Luke separate Allegra from the obscenely good-looking model, grab her around the waist in an elegant twirl and spin her out, and then back into his arms. They danced together, Allegra laughing, sometimes resting her head on his shoulder. She could see them lean towards each other every now and then as they struggled to make themselves heard above the music.

Liz
hoped he’d find out what was up with Allegra. She’d never seen her this bad before. An occasional night of total self-pity, yes, but this… This frightened her. Allegra was hell-bent on destroying herself and Liz didn’t know how to help her. She saw them make their way back towards her, Luke’s hand protectively on Allegra’s shoulder as they weaved through the crowd, occasionally pushing someone gently but firmly out of her path.

‘I’m in love with your man, can I have him when you’re done?’ Allegra asked Liz. ‘I said I wanted to take him to bed but he refused; I think he’s secretly gay, you know. You might want to watch out for that.’

‘Okay, I’ll bear it in mind,’ Liz said, smiling, as Luke put his arm across her shoulders and kissed her. ‘Now, what are you two having to drink, seeing as I can’t have a damn thing? I’ll just have to watch you and live vicariously.’

They
stuck around for a couple of hours, but Allegra was fading fast and quite relieved when Liz pleaded a headache and suggested calling it a night. They saw Allegra safely into a taxi, and as it sped off down Wyndham Street, Liz turned to Luke and said, ‘Right. Spill the beans. But first let’s go somewhere I can hear myself think.’

Sitting
at Marlin, with Jovik helpfully putting a double Jack Daniels in front of Liz without even needing to be asked — he figured she might not be able to drink it, but she could at the very least look at it — Liz felt herself first go cold, then hot with rage, as Luke told her what he learned from Allegra. Details were sketchy, but Liz pieced it all together from what she had correctly guessed anyway, and she was boiling mad.

‘How dare he, the fucking arse, that’s it,’ she said, grabbing her handbag. ‘Where’s your bike? I need a ride. I don’t care if I’m too bloody huge to balance on it. There’s a man I need to slap really, really hard, and when I’m through, you can beat the shit out of him for what he’s done.’

‘Liz, listen to me. I know you’re angry, but you can’t get involved. This is none of your business,’ Luke said, taking her arm.

‘Damn straight it’s my business. Jack has no right to treat her like this, especially after what happened. He obviously has no idea what she’s going through — actually, I hope for his sake that he doesn’t, because if he did have the slightest clue about the pain she’s in and he’s still not doing anything to fix it… I’m going to fucking kill him.’

‘Stop. Liz, I know you mean well, I know she’s your friend, but I don’t think she wants anyone to know about this, you especially. Why do you think she hasn’t told you? She tells you everything, but she’s never said a word about what happened with Jack that day, has she? Think about it.’

Liz
stared at the ground. That was the hardest part about what was going on with Allegra, that she hadn’t even shared it with her. ‘But why wouldn’t she want me to know?’ she finally asked.

‘Because you’re happy. You’ve got me. She loves you so much she doesn’t want anything to spoil you being happy. She was so out of it tonight that I don’t think she’ll even remember that she told me anything… Sweetheart, you have to let her come to you. You have to wait until she’s ready, until she feels she’s strong enough to share this with you. It was the biggest humiliation of her life, compounded by the fact that he’s gone deep cover on her. She doesn’t know what’s going on, except that it hurts like all fuck. All you can do is be there for her when she needs you, like she did tonight… And I’ll be right beside you as well. I care about Allegra too, you know.’

Liz
felt tears gather in her eyes. ‘I know you do,’ she whispered. ‘You’re a good person, Luke, I just can’t stand seeing her like this. Usually it’s me who’s in pieces and she’s the one who picks me up and puts me back together again. Now, she’s torn and broken and I can’t do a damn thing about it.’

‘Give her time. And for God’s sake, don’t try to contact Jack. I’m not condoning his behaviour, God knows I want to kick the shit out of him myself, but you wouldn’t be helping anything by attacking him right now. They need to sort this out themselves, whether it’s Allegra getting over it on her own, or if somehow, by some bloody miracle, Jack comes to his senses and tries to fix things himself.’

Liz
knew he was right. There was nothing else she could do. She sank back into her seat, hating Jack, loving Luke, fearing for Allegra.

Chapter Thirty-Four

AS THE TAXI stopped at the traffic lights, Allegra pulled her phone out of her miniscule Dior bag and stared at it, her thumb softly stroking the number pads. No calls, no messages, nothing. A stab of pain shot through her and she bit her lip. Don’t call him, she told herself, not after midnight, not when you’re this drunk and upset. And why should you be the one to call? He’s the one that’s ignoring you. Just let it go, Allegra. Then, impulsively, she punched in a number and waited for it to ring.

‘It’s me… Listen, I know it’s late, but I was wondering if you wanted to come over…’

Clive
was perched on the doorstep outside her building as the taxi pulled up. He looked terrible, Allegra thought. Poor Clive. He was going through a rough time himself. They’d bumped into each other at the coffee place on Wyndham Street about 10 days ago, and over steaming hot lattés, had poured out their sorry stories to each other.

Allegra
still couldn’t quite figure out why she felt she could tell Clive everything that she couldn’t bring herself to tell Liz. Maybe it was because he was less close as a friend, so it was a bit more impersonal. Anyhow, she’d told him, he’d squeezed her hand in sympathy and then told her about Abi. There, now they had nothing to hide from each other. They’d smiled sorrowfully, and then she’d asked him if he wanted to get something to eat. Misery loves company, he’d joked, and she laughed for the first time in weeks.

He’d
eventually gone over to her place, and they’d settled into a comforting cuddle on the sofa, watching TV, not really paying attention to anything, just relieved to have some reassurance from another human soul. Inevitably, they’d ended up in bed, but it was different from that first awful, drunken night. This wasn’t about lust, it wasn’t even so much about sex. It was about finding physical solace; that was all. And both Clive and Allegra acknowledged it, and were happy to leave it at that.

‘Have you heard anything from…’ Allegra’s voice trailed off. She wasn’t sure who she should be asking after, Jack or Abi. It didn’t make a difference, anyway, because Clive shook his head.

‘Because I haven’t even heard him on the radio recently,’ Allegra said, almost ashamed to admit she still tuned in to try to catch Jack’s show. ‘There was no explanation of why he’s gone, or why someone else has taken over his slot. Or if he’s even coming back.’

‘He’s probably just taken some time off, that’s all,’ Clive said. ‘You know, to try to sort things out…’

They
both lapsed back into silence. It struck Allegra that it was highly ironic that she and Clive should end up sort of together, when each was in love with one half of the couple that was Jack and Abi. Clive left early the next morning, as Allegra was due to collect Bella and Daisy for the weekend at 9am. Arriving at their father’s flat, she waited in the car and called up from her mobile to announce her arrival. They came belting out the main door with their overnight bags and clambered over themselves to kiss her before getting into their seats and strapping themselves in.

‘Where to now to?’ she asked, glancing back at them in her rear-view mirror, smiling. ‘What do you two wretches fancy doing today?’

‘Let’s go have lunch somewhere nice,’ said Daisy, bossily. ‘McDonald’s in Pacific Place, please. I want chicken nuggets and chips.’

Bella
and Allegra both groaned. Daisy’s obsession with chicken nuggets was legendary, but ever since she’d watched Super Size Me, Allegra couldn’t bring herself to eat another fast-food meal. Still, if that’s what Princess Daisy wanted, that’s what Princess Daisy got. She and Bella could always pick something up from Great, that tuna sushi they both liked. Not the awful raw fish version, but the rice rolls stuffed with tuna mayonnaise and a wedge of cucumber. Then they could also get some nice, fresh bread and those delicious custard doughnuts for tea-time.

The
rest of the day was spent lounging around Allegra’s flat, doing puzzles, making fruit salad (another Princess Daisy request) and watching Gilmore Girls, all three of them squealing when Rory gave Jess an illicit kiss under the big tree during Sookie’s wedding. That night, Allegra snuggled into bed with Daisy again, and it was in the early hours of the morning when she felt Bella urgently shaking her awake.

‘Yes honey, what is it?’ she mumbled.

‘Mummy, are you alright? You were crying, I heard you,’ said Bella, her own voice wobbling. Mummies didn’t cry, it wasn’t right. Mummies made things better. If they were crying, it must mean that something was so broken that even they couldn’t fix it.

‘Was I, sweetie?’ Allegra realised her pillow was damp with tears. ‘Don’t worry, baby, I must have just been having a sad dream, that’s all. I’m alright, I promise.’ She sat up, hugged Bella and gave her a kiss. ‘Now let’s get you back into your own bed, it’s freezing and I don’t want you catching cold.’

Bella
gave her mum one more kiss and hugged her fiercely before she climbed back into bed, pulling the covers up to her ears. She was sure her mummy wasn’t alright. And she was also sure she’d heard her mummy say Jack’s name while she was crying in her sleep.