Second Chances (25 page)

In the end, it had been Miles’ fault. He’d had a particular vicious whipping by their captor’s sadistic leader. It was a wonder he hadn’t been scarred, but the man was clever, careful not to leave any marks so that when negotiators came he could always pretend they were being treated well. But that night, Miles couldn’t help himself. He’d broken down and cried like a baby.

Despite the fact he tried to push him away, Darren had wrapped him carefully in his arms, avoiding touching the welts and cuddled him. Rocking him like a child, muttering soothing words in his ears. Telling him how much he loved him.

A guard had come in and just laughed. Moments later, Darren was dragged away. When the door opened again, hours later, he was thrown into the corner like a sack of potatoes. At first Miles thought he must have been beaten too, but Darren just shook his head and refused to answer, gesturing for him to stay away. It was only in the light of day that Miles discovered he’d been raped repeatedly. Miles would never forget the look on his face. The unshed tears glistening in his eyes as he tried to smile, but wincing instead as he muttered, “They forgot the lube.”

Maybe one of their captors felt they’d gone too far and tipped the authorities off to their whereabouts. Whatever happened, a surprise raid by forces loyal to the government freed them a couple of days later, but the damage was done. One of the men must have been infected and with the rough treatment Darren received and his weakened state from their time in captivity, the infection took hold.

“Why hadn’t it been me?” Miles pleaded, uttering the question that had plagued him ever since.

Caroline just shook her head and didn’t answer.

“He was so gentle, so loving. Even afterwards, he refused to hate them, trying to get me to just let it go.” He bowed his head, no longer capable of witnessing the sadness in her eyes. He snorted. “Let it go,” he repeated quietly under his breath.

“What could you have done?” Her voice contained none of her usual tartness. The uncharacteristic gentleness nearly set off his tears again.

“If only I’d been stronger, taken my beatings like a man.” Miles glared at her, but in the pre-dawn gloom all he could see was a dark shape in the bed. She’d closed her eyes.
What could he have done?
Once they’d returned to the States, they’d both undergone counselling and he’d even experimented with BDSM, trying to come to terms with his guilt. After a while, Miles had welcomed the restraints. He wouldn’t cry or even scream, just accept whatever they gave him for Darren’s sake. Promising himself that if it ever happened again, he’d be stronger, able to cope. But it was never enough.

One shrink had suggested Darren do the whipping, but that hadn’t worked either. His lover had refused to hit him hard enough to make it hurt. Miles wanted it to hurt. Needed it to hurt. At least the ‘treatment’ had rid him of the horror of being bound.

A slight whimper made him look down. In the dark he hadn’t even been aware that Lucas had joined them, sitting cross legged on the floor in his usual position at his feet. Miles had even been stroking his fingers through his hair without realizing it, lost as he had been in the past.

“Tea, Lucas,” Caroline snapped, and her command broke the spell.

With his hand free, Miles returned to twisting his ring round and round his finger again, forcing the memories back into the padlocked section of his brain. “I’ve never told that story to anyone except my shrinks before.”

A single tear, slowly slid down her cheek. “You have to believe him when he says it’s not your fault.”

At her words, Miles sprang to his feet and paced up and down beside the bed. “Of course it’s my fault. Weren’t you listening? If I hadn’t been weak, he’d still be alive.” The harshness of his reply didn’t even cause her eyelids to flicker. This time she was looking over his shoulder again towards the window, focused on whoever, or whatever was behind him.

Miles wanted to turn around, but just couldn’t. Torn between wanting to see something and scared that he wouldn’t. Even a ghost would be better than the complete absence he’d had to endure ever since Darren died.

Maybe if they’d been like most couples he knew, he would have been alright, but ever since they’d met, Darren had been that other half of him. His better half. He was scared that if he let him go, as well-meaning people, his sister, Siobahn, for one, urged him to, the bit that was left would be found wanting, inadequate.

“Maybe, it’s time you did listen to him.”

Miles sank to his knees beside the bed. “How?”

with mention of Flynn Archer and Miles Sutherland

_____________________________________________________________

Morning, Sunday 27th January, Mystery Island (Mata Api Kisiwa)

Gideon could hear the sounds of someone in the gym. He pulled the towel off from around his neck. Looked like someone had beaten him to it.

On entering through the open doorway, he was treated to a back view of Lyle Tate doing push ups. The man was wearing gi, cinched at the waist with a black belt. Now that was interesting. But a black belt in what? He was doing calisthenic exercises, push ups and rolls, which didn’t tell him much.

Gideon approached cautiously, wanting to watch but not put Lyle off. He was still hard-pushed to admit in his own mind that he was watching someone who had started life in a woman’s body. Lyle did not look female, simple as that, although his body might still bear the evidence. What the fuck, who was he to judge? Gideon didn’t actually care. He had dressed up in drag a few times himself, but he knew he made a lousy woman. He was just too masculine to fool anybody and besides, it didn’t make him a tranny. He watched Lyle warm up, then figured on joining him. However, he had no wish to spook him so he knocked on the door frame.

Lyle’s head was so full up with stuff that it took a while for the sound to register. He’d come in to do a physical warm up, some calisthenics, rather than trying to start with meditation.

It was good to move, to be in his body; the T-shots and his workouts were doing their job, building his muscle and adding weight to his frame. His short warm up routine had gone well, and finishing with jumps he tried to put in all the positive emotions he could muster to get himself airborne. Stretching felt good. His cardio-vascular system was getting the work it needed now too. Apparently his awareness needed some work though, given the way the knock on the door frame surprised him. He felt a smile spread across his face when he saw who was standing there. He dropped into a resting position.

“Hi, Gideon”.

“Could you stand some company?” Gideon threw the towel onto the floor out of the way.

“Sure. I was just thinking how it helps to have company if you’re after a serious workout.” He knew full well there was an innuendo there. He was quite intrigued to see if Sterling would take the bait.

“I’m curious. What discipline do you follow?”

Lyle smiled at the term ‘discipline’, he couldn’t help himself. “Aikido. It was Richard’s idea originally, he thought it would be good given my build back then. He was worried for me when I first moved to the States, thinking I would be a mugger’s delight.”

Oh you’d be that alright,
Gideon thought, unable to stop the grin.
Not necessarily for mugging though.
“It’s a good path to follow no matter what build you are. I can’t say I follow a particular way myself. They teach us a mix of techniques, mostly how to take someone out hard, fast and quietly. The closest is Krav Maga, I guess, although that really has no rules at all.”

“Any means necessary, huh? I suppose it’s all about context and intention.” Gideon had disclosed his military background, so Lyle knew his training would have been very different to his own. Avoiding and neutralising an opponent as swiftly as possible was his aim if forced to fight; finishing an opponent with deadly efficiency would be Gideon’s.

“What put you into the military in the first place?”

Gideon paused. That was a leading question. “I was looking for something. I lost my parents before I turned 18 and I had no other family. The Marines substituted I guess.”

Lyle kept talking, despite rolling all over the place. His teachers had always stressed the importance of being proficient in
ukemi
and he enjoyed the floor work. “You don’t do things by halves, do you? Straight into the Marines at 18?”

“No, not straight away.” Gideon dropped to the floor and began push-ups. “I was in the regular Navy for a while first; three years.” He stopped speaking to concentrate on the exercises. Lyle continued nearby in companionable silence, the huffs of their breathing the only sounds in the room for a while. Gideon finished, rolled and got to his feet. “I applied for the Marines when I was 21,” he continued. “Served with them for six years. Don’t ask me why I tried for the SBS… Seemed like a good idea at the time? One of my officers thought I would be good for it.” He was busy doing cool-down exercises as he spoke, watching Lyle do similar moves out of the corner of his eye.

“Did you mean it when you said you’d teach me scuba? I’d love to be able to take a proper look at this reef of ours sometime.”

“Of course. I never offer anything unless I mean it. If I say I’m about to shoot you between the eyes, I will.” Gideon grinned again, disarmingly. “Actually, that’s not quite true. If that was what I was about to do, I wouldn’t waste my breath telling you.”

All very macho. Gideon wasn’t willing to face up to emotions though, unprepared to take risks with his heart, or other people’s. It was disappointing, because Lyle really fancied him.

“So, you fancy a one on one? Your skills against mine? I promise to be gentle…” one eyebrow rose questioningly while Gideon awaited a reply.

“Maybe another time. I’m ready for a shower and some breakfast now, then I’m due to help with the IT.”

“Damn, you disappoint me. I could have a word with the boss, you know? I hear he’s a bit of a hard nut, but he can be persuaded.”

“I heard Pierce was the boss, and I don’t think she takes persuading well.”

“Hmm, well,
Ms Eidolon
doesn’t have the security of this island to manage once she’s gone home. She better go home soon, for all our sakes.”

“Home is where the heart is… Maybe she fancies you.”

“I sincerely hope she doesn’t. I may be forced to do something she’d regret.” He looked around at the lack of equipment. No treadmills, weights or anything much. There were bars against the wall, but that was all. The building was due for an upgrade, like everything else on the island. “I’ll tell Harry he’ll be helping you today.”

“Thanks, he’ll need to bring me up to speed on some of the kit, but we’ll be operational soon enough.”
As soon as possible,
Lyle thought,
if I can just get you out of the way long enough to leave some gear in your office.

Lyle was sure something bizarre was going on with this island. Gideon had recently ‘invited’ him to provide electronic security. This wasn’t anything to do with protecting him from the Mafia or the Bratva. It was like that was just an excuse to get him where Eidolon wanted him. Again he pondered whether they had actually been behind the whole Vale-Bratva thing. “I’m supposedly going to be well rewarded for my efforts, and I don’t like to hang around. I am curious what it’s all for though? I checked on the boxes that got unloaded yesterday. There’s enough wiring alone to wrap twice round this island… all for the five of us? I think not.”

Gideon’s response was to be expected. He simply chuckled.

Despite the frustration that caused, Lyle nevertheless enjoyed the warm, rich sound. He suspected Gideon’s singing voice would be that of a baritone. Their chat the other night had been pleasant, he could have listened to the man speak all night. “Don’t tell me…’need to know’…I’m part of the security team now though, so I do indeed need to know.” He thought of pushing harder, but his measure of the man told him he’d get more if he left spaces to be filled, dead air begging for sound to fill it. He resumed his exercises, flipping into a handstand and then walking it around the room.

@—}–—}——

“So, that’s the order of the day. I want Harry with Lyle. Take him through the equipment, bring him up to speed on what’s what, but let him organise the room to his liking, okay?”