Second Lies (The Second Life Series) (4 page)

When I got back to Philly, a steady, freezing rain fell.  Wes texted me to meet him at the drop off in front of the airport, so as I mentally prepared myself to head outside and make a run for his car, my beautiful boyfriend was already waiting for me inside by the doors with an umbrella in one hand and a dozen roses in the other.

Seeing him made me freeze in my tracks.  He was smiling so wide.  His eyes were lit up like a little kid on Christmas.  Something came over me.  I dropped my bags and ran for him.  I jumped into his arms, laughing and almost crying, so overcome by emotion.  It was one thing to miss him from afar, but when he was standing in front of me, I couldn’t help but realize how strong that feeling actually was.

Wes nuzzled my cheek and then set me back down to the floor.  He kissed me long and hard.  It was heaven running my hands through his rain soaked hair.  It was amazing being reminded of his luxurious smell.  I couldn’t let him stop hugging me.  I latched onto his body, refusing to let go for several long minutes.

He laughed into my ear, “Let’s get your stuff.  You left it in the middle of the hallway.” Finally, I let go of him.  He handed me the roses and gathered my things

Once we got out to his car and loaded everything up, we both sat inside and embraced each other one more time.  His kiss was long and wanting, like I’d been gone a year not a day and a half.  He ran his hands over my skin, like he couldn’t believe I had actually returned to him.  It was the closest I’d ever been to heaven until someone banged on the window, bringing me back to reality.

An airport worker shouted into our car, “Keep it moving guys!  We’ve got other people wanting to park here!”  Even through the heavy rain, his voice echoed loud and clear.  We both erupted into laughter as Wes pulled out of his space and drove off to my apartment.

“I’m exhausted,” I said while pushing open the door to my place.  Everything was just as I left it.  As much as I adored seeing my brother, I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. “Planes always make me sleepy.” I stretched my arms into the air. “Thank you for picking me up.”

“Of course,” he smirked. “I missed you while you were gone.  I kept grabbing for you in the middle of the night, and you weren’t there.”

“Well, I’m here now,” I wrapped my arms around his neck, “and tonight, I expect you to let me pass out and then later drool against your chest.”  I yawned and regarded him through hooded eyes.

“Sounds like a plan,” he scooped me up into his muscular arms and dropped me into my bed.  Laughing the entire time, he tore off my shoes, and then followed suit, removing his own footwear and climbing into bed with me.  He kissed my temple. “Tell me about Boston.  How’s your brother?”

“He has a girlfriend!” I shrieked. “I know you don’t know Nick, but he’s never had a girlfriend before.  He always looked at himself like some sort of playboy.” I rolled my eyes. “I like her though.  I promised to come back when they go on break, so we can hang out more.  Maybe you can come with me next time?  I didn’t want to stay much longer.  I know he has a heavy workload at school.”

“I’d love to go.  What’s he studying?”

“Neuroscience,” I scrunched up my nose at the prospect. “Yeah, he got my dad’s brains.  I never understood how that kid could do a keg stand one night and then ace a biology test the next morning, but that’s Nick for you.  Thanks to my dad’s recommendation, he landed a sweet internship at the hospital across the street from his apartment.  He’s doing well up there.  I’m proud of him.”

Wes made a face and exhaled a sigh of relief, almost like he was expecting me to recount my travel in a different light.  He’d been doing little weird things like that since right before I left.  At first, I thought I was making them up, but they seemed to come frequently whenever I talked about my time with Nick.  It made me suspicious, but I didn’t have enough of any real substance to question him.

“How’s it been here?” I asked, choosing to dismiss that detail for now. “You had a party to work Sunday night.”

With irritation laced in his voice, he answered, “It sucked.  It was like everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong.  I don’t think I lost business over it though.  I’ve hosted other events for the guy in the past, so we have a relationship.  It just annoyed me ‘til no fucking end.  I gave him a discount to make up for the stupidity of my staff.” I traced my fingers along his stomach feeling the tightness of his muscles, yawning as the seconds ticked away. “Look at me going on.  You’re exhausted, and it’s late.  Go to sleep.  We’ll get breakfast in the morning and talk more about your trip later.” He kissed my hair. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” and with that final word, I drifted into a sound sleep.

Yes, I must really be crazy about this guy to have woken up this early for him after coming in from a late flight.  We were at a diner in Medford, New Jersey.  Wes had told me about it in the past.  It was one of the restaurants he purchased after the bar became successful.  To get me here, he practically yanked me out of bed and forced me in the shower to wake me up.
  Even that hadn’t seemed like enough though, so he crawled in with me and really gave me a
good morning
.  After wrapping myself up in a thick sweater and scarf, I was ready to face the damp, cold weather outside.

“This is really good,” the sensational taste of banana nut waffles made this trip totally worth it.  I slathered it with butter and syrup, knowing I’d have to run for hours later to work this off. “It’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“Isn’t it?” Wes pushed his empty plate away, and the waitress immediately collected it from our table.  He had scarfed down a stack of pancakes with a side of bacon and sausage.  It was like watching a lion devour an antelope.  Nick was the same way.  I didn’t understand men sometimes.  There was no counting carbs for them.  They could eat what they wanted, lift some weights, and stay looking perfectly fit. “What do you want to do today?”

I sipped my coffee and
then patted my mouth clean with my napkin, “Don’t you have work?  I don’t want to keep you from anything.  I was just thinking about going to the gym later.  I haven’t seen my trainer in forever.  I’m sure he’s pissed.”

“You have a trainer?” Wes raised an eyebrow. “What does he train you in?”

“Sometimes, I wonder if you ever listen to me,” I laughed, but I couldn’t blame him.  I hadn’t visited my gym in so long that it was easy for anyone to forget that I actually worked out there.  My time had been preoccupied lately though. “I took up kickboxing a while ago.  I just haven’t made an appointment in a while for a session.”

“How long have you been kickboxing?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Maybe a six months, I think.  My dad thought it would be a good idea to help control my temper.”

“Good, I’m not the only one who sees it,” he laughed.  I smacked his arm in response. “See, you just proved my point.”

“Kickboxing is really good for me.  I think it’s the only thing that’s been truly affective,” I took one more big bite of food and then decided I was too full to eat anything else. “It helps me take control.”

Something Wes didn’t know about me was that I used to take medication to help control my mood and temper.  It was embarrassing though, and I hated admitting this to anyone.  My
doctor said it was nothing to be ashamed of, but I didn’t want to be known as the girl with problems, especially when my esteem was already so low.

About six or seven months ago, I quit my medications pretty much altogether.  They weren’t working as well as they once had, and I hated being so dependent on them.  Since I had been taking medication for so long, I had already had to switch to new o
nes several times in the past.

It was always such a draining process when one wore off, and I’d have to start experimenting with others to find something else that would work in the meantime.  Sometimes the side-effects were exasperating, and then, I’d become immune to that down the road, too.  I was done with the process, so once the withdrawal symptoms stopped, I stopped seeing my doctor, too, keeping this as a secret from both Nick and my dad.  I knew they would be thoroughly against it, but I just wanted to live a normal life without relying on a pill to keep me somewhat sane for my daily
activities.

Now that I thought about it, that i
s probably why I loved doing coke so much.  I was never
truly
addicted to it and knew my limitations.  I could relish in a high without being shackled to it.  That combined with a demanding workout schedule kept my endorphins pumping.  For once in my life, I felt normal, but that was starting to wear off.   I clearly wasn’t doing drugs anymore like I used to with the exception of the occasional slipup, and I hadn’t been working out as hard either.  I needed to get back to kickboxing.  I couldn’t risk falling into depression.  It could be extremely dangerous for me.

“I guess there are a few things I could catch up on.  How about I drop you off at your gym and then you come over for dinner?  I’ll make tacos.”  That sounded fantastic even after I felt so full of waffles
that I could burst.

Wes ended up dropping me off at my apartment, so I could change into a tank top and yoga pants.  Once I got the gym, my trainer, Craig, eyed my physique.  Without him saying a word, I already knew what he was thinking.  Running had always been a passion of mine.  It kept me lean, but Craig had a mission to bulk me up.  He wanted to see muscles on my arms like the ones in the pictures I showed him from when I pitched in high school.

He pinched at the sleeve of my shirt, raising my arm and glared at me.  He shook his head, “Let’s get to work.”

No amount of excuses worked with Craig, so I didn’t even bother explaining why I hadn’t been in the gym
in so long.  He had me doing pushups until I was soaking with sweat, and then I was on the bag, hitting until my knuckles were raw from the punishment.  I lost count of how many sits ups and squats I’d done.  Once I thought I was finished, he handed me a jump rope and told me to keep going until he came back.  It was grueling.

“How are you feeling?” Craig finally returned wearing a menacing grin on his face.  If I thought I could, I’d
knock him out for putting me through this hell.

He threw me a water bottle
, and I guzzled it down.  After I caught my breath, I shook my head, “I feel like shit.”

“Yeah, running doesn’t work out your muscles like a tr
ip to my gym does.  Does it?” I flipped him off while I chugged water until I got to the last drop.  Although brutal, Craig was an excellent trainer.  He knew my limitations and tested them.  That’s what I needed. “You keep surprising me though, Ward.  I never thought you’d make it through the workout.  Have a good stretch and get out of here.  Finish that water bottle.  You were sweating a lot, and remember to get some proteins in.  I expect to see you for another three sessions this week.”

I nodded my head and started stretching as Craig left for the front desk
to meet his next client, a chubby girl that always gave me dirty looks for no reason.  I rolled my eyes and shook off her glare.  Every joint in my body was stiff.  My muscles felt rubbery, and I wanted to go to sleep.  If it weren’t for all the other people hovering around me, I could just pass out right here on the padded, gym floor.

“Jersey Girl,” I heard s
omeone call.  I perked my head up and spotted Lou.  My heart instantly warmed, but then discomfort took over.  When I went to Lux, Lou implied feelings for me.  I responded by running in the opposite direction, and now, there was nowhere to run. “I almost thought I’d never see you again.”

“Yeah, I’ve been a slacker lately,” I stood to my feet.  How could I let this slip my mind?  It was Lou who actually referred me to this place.  He’d been working out here for years.
  Of course, I’d run into him. “I’m trying to get back into the swing of things.”

For a few awkward moments, neither of us said anything.  Finally Lou choked out, “I’m sorry about the other day at Lux.  I shouldn’t have said anything.  Your relationship isn’t my business.  It was
n’t my place to open my mouth.”

“Walk with me?” I cocked my head to the side as I asked this.  Lou put down his weights and followed me up a set of steps.  A track had been
built above the workout floor, extending around the perimeter, hanging by cords.  It was pretty cool to see it erected.  Besides one guy with ear buds in, we were alone.  I braved on as I confronted the issue. “You insinuated something the other night.  We need to talk about that.”

“What do you mean?” Lou kept his sight away from mine, looking completely bewildered. “What did I insinuate?”

I stopped dead in my tracks, searching his face for some truth.  The runner started pounding towards us, so I moved to Lou’s side of the track to make way. “Do you or don’t you have feelings for me?”

Lou started cracking up hysterically.  My eyes grew in shock.  Eventually, he slowed down.  He wiped a tear from his eye, “
Jers, are you serious?”

My voice came out childishly.  My cheeks burned.  I bit my lip. “Isn’t that what you meant?  You said I deserved someone who accepted me for me.  I thought you were talking about-“

“You thought I was talking about
you and me
? 
Together?
” He laughed again.  This time louder.  A few people from the gym floor looked up at us.  I started taking several, speedy and deliberate steps away. “Hey, wait for me!” He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. “I love you, but you’re like a sister to me.  That’s it.  That’s all I meant.  I was being protective of you.  I’m always protective of you.”

“I feel like a complete
moron,” I buried my face in my hands, fighting the urge to cry.  This was stupid.  Why did I say anything?  Of course, Lou didn’t have feelings for me.  Not every man with a working cock had to fall for my boobs and ability to work a pole. “I’m sorry, Lou.  I’m so sorry for saying anything.”

“Don’t be,” he hung his arm around my shoulder and guided me around the track, even refusing to let go when the runner started pounding
towards us again.  The man was forced to squeeze by on my side, utterly annoyed. “Look at me.  A guy my size has to have a weight limit, and you just don’t make the cut.” He poked my stomach. “You need more meat on you.” I couldn’t help but laugh.  There was a reason why I loved him so much.  He started laughing again. “That explains that look on your face.” He mocked my reaction from that night with large eyes and a hanging jaw.

“Fuck you,” I gave him a hug and started seeing the humor in everything.  Good, at least one of my friendships didn’t have to be complicated. “How’s Gloria?”

He shrugged, “She’s not the same.  She misses you, but she won’t admit it.  She’s got everyone, but me, convinced she hates you.  I know she doesn’t though.  Gloria could never hate you.” My heart ached for my best friend.  She was everything to me.  Once I started working at Lux, I abandoned most of my other friends from school.  I didn’t want them to have anything to do with my current life.  I couldn’t risk them finding out what I did for a living.  Gloria was pretty much the only real friend I had left, and now, I didn’t even have her. “What happened to you guys anyway?”

It felt like a million years had passed since that damned photo shoot.  I could clearly remember the look of pain and betrayal
on her face when she realized I was on something.  Gloria
loved
me.  She loved me and wanted to be with me.  What the fuck could I do with that?  I didn’t even know she was gay.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I started heading for the stairs, picking up my pace again. “I think I’m going to head to her place after I leave here.  She should be done class soon.  We should finally talk and figure all this out.”

“Good luck,” Lou called.  I turned around to wave at him. “Give me a call the next time you’re here.  It was good seeing you.”

When I got to Gloria’s apartment building, I took the elevator to her floor with my forehead pressed against the wall.  The door chimed and slid open.  I gulped and started down the hallway.  I knocked on her door, three hard raps.  A few moments went by, and the door opened.

Gloria answered the door with a smile on her full lips which quickly faded.  Her bright eyes dimmed and her forehead creased with a frown.  She looked different.  Her hair wasn’t red anymore; it was black.  She brushed it back with a center part running through.  She was wearing an indecently short denim skirt and a pink blouse that complimented her curvy figure.  She seemed to be a lot less depressed than Lou described.

“Can we talk?” I asked.  A long second went by, and then she motioned inside her apartment. “Thank you.” When I walked inside, I was mildly surprised.  The lease was almost up.  I thought she’d have things packed up for her move away from her roommate.  I spun around and faced her. “Gloria, I’m sorry.  You’re my best friend in the world, and I can’t lose you.  I don’t know how we’re going to figure this out, but we need to.  I know you miss me.  We used to see each other every, single day.”

She lifted her hand for me to stop and exhaled.  She wrapped me into a hug and just held me there.  Very few things in my life had ever felt so good.  She pulled away, and my skin tingled with her absence. “I’ve missed you, too.  I almost called you a hundred times.”

I burst into tears.  Fuck, I felt like such a girl.  All these emotions roamed rampant inside of me.  It was like as soon as I confronted one, all the feelings from everything else poured out.  I hugged her again and whimpered, “Can we be friends again?”

“Yes,” she cried back, and we just stayed there, crying
and laughing like two idiots.  Finally, we pulled away from one another and wiped our tears. “Let’s do something tomorrow if you’re free.”

This felt like it needed to be more complicated.  Our friendship was simple and easy, but there was still that hurdle we were dealing with.  Gloria
loved
me.  I didn’t want to hurt her again. “Should we talk about…?” My voice trailed off.