Second Time Around (40 page)

‘She might know. Jess was old enough to realise what Mandy was really like. Your sister isn’t exactly a nice person. And, if there was no love lost before, it got worse after your
accident. The kids blame her. Apparently she practically bullied you into going along that night.’

Aileen nodded. ‘That’s right. You were sick with some virus and on antibiotics, but Mandy had been given two tickets to the opening of the hotel’s new leisure centre and begged
you to go along. The bubbly was flowing and you know, Suzie, it always goes straight to your head.’

Suzie didn’t remember any of that but, then, the time immediately preceding the accident was all still a blank.

‘The kids were stunned when you and Mandy became so pally after you came out of the coma,’ Nora said. ‘I know that I was flabbergasted. I knew you couldn’t possibly
remember how she’d behaved and it made me mad as hell. It was like she was laughing at you. And then those clothes she persuaded you to buy . . .’ Nora practically growled, her eyes
dark with fury.

‘I didn’t know any of the history between you,’ Aileen said, nodding, ‘but I never liked or trusted your sister, to be honest. When did you remember what she’d
done?’

‘It just came back to me when Jess walked in on me and Doug the other night, wanting to know if he was her dad.’ Suzie couldn’t help smiling. ‘I thought he was going to
have another heart attack.’

She sobered again as she thought of the flashbacks she’d had since then. ‘It’s odd. I’ve been so angry with Mandy, as if it had all just happened. And, the more I thought
about it, the angrier I got at the way she’s pushed her way back into my life.’

‘She’s a bad sort,’ Aileen said darkly.

‘I agree, although . . .’ Nora hesitated.

‘Go on.’ Suzie saw the mixed emotions cross her friend’s face. ‘Please?’

‘I was just remembering John’s funeral. Don’t be angry with me,’ Nora begged.

‘Of course not.’ Suzie searched her face and gave her a small smile of reassurance. ‘Tell me.’

‘Mandy was distraught that day, and not in an attention-seeking way. I think it may have been the only time I saw her without makeup, and her face was a mess from crying.’

‘Crocodile tears,’ Aileen scoffed. ‘Probably mourning the fact that there was one less married man in the world for her to try it on with!’

Startled by her neighbour’s vehemence, Suzie burst out laughing. Her two friends stared at her in shocked surprise, which only made Suzie laugh harder.

‘What’s funny?’ Nora asked, starting to chuckle herself.

Aileen’s lips twitched. ‘That injury knocked all the feckin’ sense out of your head, woman!’ she said, and then she was laughing too.

Nora shook her head, wiping tears from her eyes. ‘I’ve no idea why we’re laughing. This isn’t remotely funny.’

Suzie finally managed to pull herself together. ‘I know but, I suppose, if we don’t laugh we cry.’

Nora nodded. ‘Don’t waste tears on John or Mandy, for that matter. It’s all in the past. You’ve seemed so happy these last few months and now you’ve a new
grandchild on the way too.’

‘Yes, onwards and upwards,’ Aileen agreed, ‘but get that poisonous bitch out of your life.’

‘And make your peace with Noel,’ Nora added. ‘He’s heartbroken.’

‘Yeah. Why are you so angry with him anyway?’ Aileen looked at her in confusion.

‘He never sat his exams and now, completely out of the blue, he’s decided he wants to be a farmer.’ Suzie tossed her head in disgust. ‘And not somewhere local but on his
uncle’s farm in Limerick. Feckin’ Maurice. I could murder him. I thought I was finished with that bloody family and place.’

‘Why do you hate it so much?’ Aileen asked.

Suzie stared at her. ‘You have to ask? That’s where my husband cheated on me and that’s where he died. But not straightaway.’ Tears threatened again as Suzie remembered
her shock when she saw John in the hospital that day.

‘His injuries were horrific and yet he was conscious. He kept saying how sorry he was, over and over.’ She shook her head. ‘He was nine hours in surgery but died on the
operating table. I wanted to die too at that moment. For all his faults, John was my rock. But I had to go home and tell the children their daddy was dead. I think that’s reason enough to
hate Limerick.’

They were silent for a moment and then Nora handed her a tissue. ‘You asked us to fill in the gaps?’

Suzie wiped her eyes and nodded.

‘I remember John’s accident too, Suzie. But I remember it very differently. The children were at school when I got word what had happened. I picked them up from school, and took them
back to my house. I’d rented a video,
Robots,
I think it was. We bought ice cream and popcorn and stuffed our faces and laughed until we cried. We had a lovely time.
Ask Noel. Even now, he’ll tell you he remembers that day. But not because of what was happening at the hospital.

‘It was a dreadful day for you, but not for him. Sure, he cried when he found out his daddy was dead, but he didn’t know the details. He didn’t see John in hospital. He
doesn’t have the ghastly images in his head that you do. What he remembers are the happy times in Limerick, looking after the chickens, helping feed new lambs and sitting up on the tractor
between his dad and uncle, as proud as punch.’

Suzie smiled reluctantly. ‘I have a photo of that. It was probably the first time John had sat on a moving tractor in ten years. He was more used to the new shiny ones at the Ploughing
Championships. If Noel really is into farming, it’s not because of his dad. John was never interested in running the farm. He preferred the business side and wearing a smart suit, not getting
up at six and mucking out. The only time he came close to getting his hands dirty was when he shook a farmer’s hand,’ Suzie chuckled good-naturedly. John had never been cut out for the
farming life and thanked God every day that he had a brother who was.

‘Noel got his love of the land from Maurice,’ Nora said. ‘Remember how much time he spent over there?’

Suzie looked at her in surprise and shook her head. ‘Really?’

‘Yes. You would be yelling at him to do his homework and as soon as it was done he’d be out the door, on his bike and off down the lane to help Maurice. We never saw him during the
summer months. He’d be over there from the crack of dawn.’

‘I don’t remember any of that.’ Suzie said, but, now that Nora mentioned it, she recalled a scruffy little boy with freckles who was always smiling.

Suzie sighed as guilt set in for the way she’d treated Noel these last few weeks. And she’d slapped him! She closed her eyes to stem the tears that threatened again.

‘He was very withdrawn when he first came to Dublin,’ Aileen chipped in.

‘Thanks for that, Aileen,’ she muttered and heard Nora sigh at her neighbour’s tactlessness.

‘Until Cal took him under his wing, of course,’ she hurried on. ‘Then he was grand.’

Suzie smiled. That she knew was true. ‘Anything else I need to know?’ she asked.

The other two women looked at each other and shook their heads.

‘Have you talked to Mandy?’ Nora asked.

‘Have you told her you remember her making a pass at your husband?’ Aileen added.

Suzie shook her head, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Thank goodness she’d had the foresight not to wear mascara. ‘No, I’ve been avoiding her. I wanted to wait until I
remembered everything before I talked to her. Doug’s hosting a CML reunion at the weekend and she’ll probably be at that.’

‘Why would he have invited her?’ Aileen asked, frowning.

‘Devilment! He wants her to know that we’ve been making a fool of her, pretending to be dating. He’s really annoyed at the way she tried to come between us. I think he may be
planning a confrontation of his own.’

‘Good for him,’ Nora said. ‘He’s a sweetheart. I’m a little sad that you’re just good friends.’

‘I thought he was too old for me,’ Suzie retorted.

‘Technically, yes.’ Nora smiled. ‘But he doesn’t look his age and you’ve been having such a good time with him.’

Suzie smiled. ‘I have.’

‘Are you okay, Suzie?’ Aileen asked. ‘This has been a very stressful few weeks.’

‘It has but, thanks to the meditation classes and Percy, I’m coping. I still get angry and upset, but then I remind myself that this is all history now and, as I said, I dealt with
it a long time ago. I wish I knew for sure if I ever confronted Mandy, though. I can’t believe she had the nerve to come back into my life the way she has. She seems to have no
conscience.’

‘None,’ Nora agreed.

‘And I still hate the idea of losing Noel. I’ll miss him so much; Bobby will too.’

‘He’ll visit,’ Aileen said, patting her hand.

‘Farmers don’t get much free time,’ Suzie assured her.

‘You can come and stay with me,’ Nora offered, ‘and he can visit you there. No need to go near the farm or see Maurice.’

‘Thanks, Nora.’ Suzie smiled at her dear friend. ‘I’ll think about it.’

When they got home, Nora ran up to the loo and Suzie went into the kitchen to make them some tea and check on Percy.

‘I’ve taken him out and settled him,’ Noel said from the chair in the corner.

Suzie started. ‘Thanks. Why are you sitting here in the dark?’ She switched on the lamp and looked at him.

‘I was waiting for you. I can’t sleep until I know you’re home safe. Role reversal, eh?’

‘You won’t know whether I’m home or not when you’re back in Limerick,’ Suzie retorted, before she could stop herself.

‘If you don’t want me to go, I won’t,’ he said, sounding weary and resigned.

Suzie settled on the arm of his chair and sighed too. ‘I want you to go. No, that’s not true, I don’t, but I understand you need to, and I want you to be happy. So
go.’

Noel looked startled. ‘Why the change of heart?’

‘Thank Nora. She reminded me of how much you loved helping your uncle Maurice when you were a kid. I’d forgotten all that.’

‘I did try to tell you—’

‘I know,’ she snapped. ‘Sheesh! I’ve said I’m okay with it. Do you want blood?’

‘Just a little more grovelling.’ Noel grinned and enveloped her in a hug. ‘Thanks, Mum. You don’t know how much this means to me. I promise I won’t desert you until
after Sharon’s baby’s born.’

‘I’d really appreciate that.’

He kissed the top of her head and stood up. ‘Goodnight, Mum.’

‘Night, love.’

She was still sitting there when Nora came in, smiling, and applauded her silently. ‘Well done.’

Suzie nodded, sniffing back her tears. ‘Make me a cuppa, Nora, would you?’

The following evening, Suzie was sitting in the same small bistro, this time waiting for Jess. There was a child chuckling at a table nearby and Suzie smiled, thinking of her
grandson. Bobby was easier to deal with now that they understood him better, and watching him make progress made her problems seem inconsequential. She felt hopeful. Sharon’s pregnancy was
going well, and she herself had survived a traumatic brain injury. She knew that she wasn’t out of the woods yet, that she would still lose her temper from time to time and there were
probably more memories waiting to shake her confidence; but she felt calmer and reminded herself every day of how lucky she was.

She also knew that, second time around, she would not be taken for a fool, and she certainly wouldn’t waste time on people who were two-faced, unkind or had a hidden agenda.

Suzie had given up completely on the support group, feeling she didn’t belong there. She just couldn’t bring herself to open up to a group of strangers. The meditation, however, was
wonderful and she put it to good use whenever she started to get anxious or annoyed. She was beginning to feel in control again and, now that she’d found most of the pieces of the puzzle that
was her past, Suzie felt she’d be able to put it behind her and move on. She tried not to think about Noel and his impending defection to Limerick. That might take a little longer to adjust
to.

Suzie’s frown disappeared when she saw her daughter in the doorway. Dressed in a pretty blue summer dress that skimmed her slim figure, ending just below the knee, her hair loose around
her shoulders, Jess looked beautiful. She was scanning the room looking for her, and Suzie waved to attract her attention. Jess made her way over, weaving in and out of the other tables and turning
a few heads as she did so. Suzie could see Jess was apprehensive and, standing up, she held out her arms and smiled. ‘Hello, love. You look wonderful.’

‘Thanks. Am I forgiven?’ Jess asked, looking relieved.

‘Of course. We’ve been through all of that,’ Suzie assured her, squeezed her hand. ‘I know you probably have lots of questions, so shall we just order some wine and then
we can order food later?’

‘Sure.’ Jess looked relieved.

After they’d been served, Suzie took the initiative and got straight to the point. ‘I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I can’t tell you more about your dad. What can I say? I
had just finished all my computer courses – top of the class – and Chrissie, my tutor, said that I had a very bright future. So I went out and celebrated. One of the girls suggested
cocktails and we all agreed. I hadn’t really drank before that night. We were too skint at home and every spare bit of cash went into helping my mother meet the bills and put food on the
table. The cocktails tasted like lemonade to me and I was so happy, I threw them back and danced all night long.’

Jess smiled. ‘Do you even remember if you fancied him?’

‘Well, of course I did. What kind of a trollop do you take me for?’ Suzie retorted and then smiled. ‘He was gorgeous and a great dancer and he kept telling me how beautiful I
was. I was so drunk but also stupid. He asked me to go back to his flat and I agreed. It was a crazy thing to do, leaving a club without at least telling my friends where I was going. I’m
lucky that I only came out of it pregnant, he could have been a bloody murderer! I gave him my number but, of course, he never called. I was a gullible little idiot.’

‘So I do take after you,’ Jess said with a wry grin.

‘Excuse me, I was a teenager. You’re twenty-seven and old enough to know better,’ Suzie retorted, immediately regretting lashing out when she saw the look of shame on
Jess’s flushed face. She’d already said more than enough about Louis. It was wrong of her to keep punishing her daughter over him. ‘I suppose I was so annoyed about your affair
with Louis because it was equally stupid. You were risking your career and good name and you’ve worked so hard to win the respect of your colleagues and readers.’