Second to No One (2 page)

I looked at the clock at eight thirty, then at eight forty-five, then at eight fifty. Jess’s house looked quiet and lifeless. Why hadn’t he called me? Why did I feel so pathetic?

“Gemma, hon, get away from the window.”

I jumped at the sound of my mom’s voice and stepped backward toward the kitchen counter. I hadn’t even realized that I was hovering over the sink, watching Jess’s house like a lioness watching her prey.

Mom was at the table organizing her recipe book and glaring at me over her reading glasses. “The last thing a boy wants is a desperate girl. Here,” she waved an index card in the air, “help me sort through these recipes. That’ll take your mind off him.”

I scowled at the card. “No, thanks.” Then I slowly made my way passed the Betty Crocker recipe party and moved into the living room where Dad was watching a football game on TV. I moped around the edge of the couch, then collapsed on the cushion next to him. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, Gem.” He took a sip from his mug. “No sign of Jess yet?”

“Nope.” I reached for a couch pillow and set it over my face. “But thanks for rubbing it in.”

Not much had changed over the summer with Dad’s health. He had just finished his third round of chemo, and his hair was growing back grayer than it had been before. He spent a lot of time on the couch. He was either reading, watching TV, or doing his latest hobby, journal writing. Some days he looked like he was getting better—he almost looked like his old self. But other days he looked tired—like he hadn’t slept all year—and his mouth barely moved when he spoke. Mom spent her days moving around him like a vacuum cleaner gone AWOL. Even when he was sleeping, she was scurrying around trying to make him feel comfortable or on the phone with fancy doctors in Europe trying to find a cure.

Bridget, on the other hand, left for Yale sometime in the middle of August. She wasn’t at all hesitant to leave, and I’m pretty sure I heard her whoop when she crossed over the state line. I barely noticed that she was gone, though. The only difference that I saw was that there was one less cereal bowl in the sink every morning.

Thunderous cheers erupted from the television, and the announcer exclaimed, “First down!” I waited for my dad to either yelp with excitement or moan with exasperation, depending on who had made the play. “These guys couldn’t stop a play if their lives depended on it,” he grumbled before coughing into his arm. “What time is Jess supposed to get in?”

I moved the pillow to my lap, but my eyes stayed glued shut. “I don’t know. He’s probably already home. He probably forgot who I am.”

“That makes sense,” Dad said as he flipped through the channels with the remote control. “The boy’s been hanging around our house like a stray cat for the past ten years begging for your attention. I can see how three months in California would change that.”

“I just don’t want to assume anything.”

“Always a good rule to live by.”

I took a deep breath and stood up. “I’m not going to just sit here waiting for him.” I rounded the couch and headed for the stairs.

“So you’re going to go upstairs and wait for him?”

I ignored my dad’s humor and headed up the staircase. I was sure this was all very entertaining to him, but this was my life. Jess was everything to me, and he hadn’t even told me when he was going to be home. I couldn’t let myself assume that he felt the same way about me now as before he left. Things change. People change. Jess and I weren’t above it.

I sat down on my bed and unzipped my backpack. I had taken it out of my closet earlier that day to start preparing for school tomorrow. So far I had two pencils, a pen, and a notebook. I grabbed my schedule off my nightstand. I wasn’t about to forget that again. I skimmed over the classes. Chemistry, health education, algebra, honors English, US history. I took a deep breath. What was I getting myself into?

I could hardly believe that I was starting high school tomorrow. I had dreamt about this day for so long, and now it was here. But I never in a million years could have imagined that I’d be starting high school as Jess’s girlfriend. Because that’s what I was, wasn’t I? It had felt that way for a while. But now I couldn’t be sure. I folded my schedule carefully and slipped it into the front pocket of my backpack. I zipped up the rest of the compartments, then set the bag to the side.
N
ow what?
I took a deep breath and picked up my cell phone to see if I had miraculously missed a call. It was blank. I instinctively dialed Drew’s number. It rang three times, and then she answered.

“You’re not supposed to be calling me right now.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because you’re supposed to be having a romantic reunion with Jess.”

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“You still haven’t heard from him?”

“Not a word.”

“Maybe his battery died.”

“Six days ago?”

“It’s been that long?”

My heart sank. “It’s been that long.”

I heard her take a deep breath on the other side of the line. “It’s going to be fine.”

“So they say.”

“Yeah, but it really will be. What was that?”

I turned to the loud tap sound at my window, and my heart nearly cracked a rib in my chest. “I think it was a rock against my window.” I bit my lip and tried to stop my knees from shaking. “I think Jess is here!”

“Why are you whispering?”

“I don’t know. I’m so nervous.”

“Gemma, this is Jess. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

“I know. Okay. I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

“Go talk to him.”

“Okay.”

“And call me when he’s gone.”

“I will.”

“Hang up the phone now, Gemma.”

“Okay. Bye.” I hesitantly closed my phone and tiptoed toward my window. Before I could open the curtain, a second rock tapped the glass. I pushed open the curtain and lifted the window. And there he was, sun-bleached and tired and staring up at me with those squinty, blue eyes of his. I forgot how to breathe.

“I’m looking for a girl,” he said clasping his hands over his mouth. “Dark brown hair, green eyes, really feisty when she gets tired. You know her?”

I crossed my arms on the window seal and rested my chin on top. “Feisty, huh?”

“It’s my favorite part.”

Stay calm,
Gemma. Stay. Calm.

“So are you going to come down here? Or am I going to have to scale this wall to get to you?”

“That’s something I’d like to see.”

“I’m dying here.”

“I’ll be right down.”

The distance between my bedroom window and my front door felt like it went on for miles, and I was moving in slow motion. But by the time I stepped out onto the front porch and saw Jess leaning casually against the railing, time had completely stopped, and somehow the past three months didn’t matter. They were nothing. He was here now, standing in front of me, all sun-struck and beautiful. But he was here, and that was the only thing that mattered.

“Hey, stranger.” He stepped toward me and wrapped a hand around my waist.

“Hey.” I instinctively melted into his chest and drowned myself in his scent.

“I missed you,” he said softly with his nose nearly touching mine.

I could barely remember where I was, or who I was for that matter. Just being in his arms and hearing him say those words caused me to doubt whether or not anything else existed. “I missed you so much,” I said without hesitation. When he pulled me an inch closer, our lips met, and despite all my fears, despite all the confusion and doubt, we were finally together again, and without any effort at all, we were back to the exact place that we had left off.

Chapter 2

I
t still felt like a
dream. But I really, really didn’t want to be dreaming. Jess was here. He was actually here. Sitting beside me on my front porch, talking and breathing and—the best part—touching. Me. My hands, my face, my waist, my hair. Wherever he could, whenever he could as we casually talked about our summers.

“So anyway,” he finally shifted his eyes away from mine and rubbed at them with his free hand. “I really can’t blame my dad for being as screwed up as he is. It turns out his entire family has problems.”

“Hadn’t you met any of them before?”

Jess released my hair from his fingers and shifted until he could comfortably hold my hand that was resting in my lap. It felt so natural, and I had to remind myself that this was the first time we had ever sat beside each other holding hands—romantically. “Not really. I mean, his parents came out once when I was little, but all I remembered was my grandpa smelled like cigars and I caught my grandma in the bathroom with her wig off.” Jess scrunched his nose at the memory. “I’ve never met any of my uncles or aunts or cousins on his side until this summer.”

I squeezed his fingers and studied the feel of them between my own. “What kind of problems do they have?”

He shook his head. “I don’t even know where to begin. This family could be on Jerry Springer.” He chuckled softly, but his eyes were lost in the memory. “I’m glad I had a job. Working outside in the intense summer heat for ten hours a day was nothing compared to watching my uncle Stewart rot on his Lazy Boy recliner.”

I cringed at the thought. “Your dad still lives with him?”

“Mmm.” He said nodding. “I stayed away from there as much as I could. His apartment was disgusting, and I swear it smelled like a combination of dead cats and moldy leftovers.” He sniffed his shirt. “The smell is probably still in my clothes.”

I pressed my cheek into his shoulder. He smelled a little like an airplane but mostly like soap and laundry detergent.

“How about you?” he asked into my hair. “What have you been up to?”

I pulled myself away from him and took in a breath. I wasn’t exactly sure what I should or
shouldn’t
tell him. I decided to stay away from the topic of Trace. “I’ve been hanging out with Drew a lot.”

“What’s she like when she’s not throwing elaborate birthday parties in your house without your permission?”

I smiled at the memory. The fake birthday party and all the drama that accompanied it felt like so long ago now. “She’s pretty great actually. We have fun together.” I looked up at the darkening sky, and a cool breeze made me wrap my arms around my torso. “She’s been talking all week about my
real
sixteenth birthday. It makes me a little nervous.”

Jess swept a piece of my hair behind my ear, then whispered, “Sweet sixteen.” A million goose bumps covered me from head to toe as he leaned into to kiss me, but we were both distracted by a pair of headlights that flashed across the front lawn. We looked up just as a black Ford Explorer pulled into my driveway. Trace’s car.
Crap.

I couldn’t figure out why he was there. He was supposed to be at his cousin’s wedding. He was supposed to be getting ready for school the next day. He was supposed to be anywhere but here. I wasn’t ready for these two worlds to collide. But still, the driver side door opened and shut, and soon Trace was walking around his car jiggling something in his hand. He obviously hadn’t seen us yet, and I dreaded the moment when he finally would.

“Hey, Trace,” I said before he had the chance to trip over us. “How was the wedding?”
Or in other words,
can’t you see Jess i
s here? Bye.

As soon as I spoke, Trace came to a staggering stop. He was staring—no, glaring—at Jess and the object that he had been jiggling was immediately shoved in his pocket.

I felt Jess tense up beside me as he slowly removed his hands from mine and placed them in his lap. “How’s it going?” Jess asked in a cool tone.

Trace looked at me with dark eyes. “Fine. I’m fine. The wedding was fine.”

“Whose wedding?” Jess asked as he stood up from the step and straightened his shirt.

But Trace ignored the question. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys. You haven’t seen each other for a while, so I’ll just go.”

“You don’t need to leave.”
Or in
other words, of cour
se you need to leave
.
Jess was just goin
g to kiss me, and th
en we were going to
live happily ever af
ter
.

“Well, if it’s okay.” Something about Trace’s stance changed slightly at my words. He obviously had no idea that I didn’t mean them. He took a step toward me as he reached into his pocket. “Mostly I just wanted to bring this by.” He reached out toward me, leaving a medium sized brown envelope in my lap. I felt the contents of the envelope. Something squishy was sealed inside it.

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Please don’t tell me this is the bride’s pantyhose girdle. I’ll have to throw up if it is.”

Trace laughed lightly at my joke, but Jess didn’t crack a smile. He just stood a ways off to the side, watching us, his arms folded, his eyes cautious.

“No,” Trace answered. “It’s an early birthday present. I know you don’t turn sixteen for another week, but I figured,” he stole a disgruntled glance at Jess, “that this might be the last chance I have to give it to you.”

I knew that wasn’t true. I knew I’d see Trace every day at school, but I also knew what he meant. That now that Jess was back things were inevitably going to be different between us. “Thanks,” I said as I slipped my finger under the sealed flap of the envelope. “You really didn’t have to though.” I looked at Jess from the corner of my eye and hoped with everything I had that the gift was a bag of tissues or a pack of gum, anything that could possibly feel squishy and yet remain one hundred percent platonic and without feeling. But what I pulled out of the envelope was a tiny plastic bag, the kind that my mom kept stray buttons and thread in. And the bag itself was filled with cotton balls.

“The gift is inside the cotton.” Trace explained carefully. It was apparent from his quivering voice that he was anxious for me to see what was inside. I opened the bag and pulled out the stuffing. Hidden between the layers of fluff was a charm that matched the bracelet that Jess had given me the Christmas before, and inside the charm was a deep blue gemstone. The moment it dropped into my hand, I could feel my breath get stuck somewhere between my molars and my esophagus. I couldn’t say a word. I couldn’t even move. I wanted to beam into my superhuman powers and make myself invisible.