Secret Admirer (13 page)

Amy’s feet seemed to know just where to go as she exited the restaurant. Apparently, they were taking her directly home. But then, as she entered the mobile-home park, it occurred to her that she would have to face her parents here. Facing her siblings was one thing, but facing her parents — particularly her mother — well, that was something else.

And so Amy made a beeline to the clubhouse. She knew it was wrong and that she would be considered “truant,” as Ly had pointed out. And Amy knew she would probably be punished later when her parents found out, but she just didn’t care. It felt as if there was a big aching hole in her chest, and she no longer cared about school or being in trouble or even her friends. Amy was desperate.

She unlocked the door and let herself inside and then she went to the back of the bus, flopped down onto the bed, and began to sob. Oh, why had she been so incredibly dumb? Why had she written that stupid note? Why had she allowed herself to become boy crazy like this? What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she be more like Morgan
and Emily and Carlie? They didn’t have problems like this. For a supposedly “smart girl” Amy felt like a complete idiot!

She must’ve cried herself to sleep because when she opened her eyes it was already twelve. Her friends would be in the cafeteria now. They were probably wondering where she was — and they’d probably heard the story of Tyler confronting her outside the band room. It was so humiliating!

Amy got up and looked at herself in the little mirror that was attached to the tiny closet. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were puffy from crying. And she almost looked like she was sick. Perhaps she could convince her parents that she’d come home sick. But then again, her sisters already knew. And she hadn’t exactly gone home either.

“What am I going to do?” she said, feeling more desperate than ever. Then she remembered what An had told her — about calling on God. And it became very clear that was what she needed to do. She got down on her knees next to the bed and, closing her eyes, she begged God to help her.

“I’ve been a stupid girl,” she said aloud. “I tried to figure things out on my own, God. I never even asked for you to help me. I didn’t ask for you to show me the way I should go, I just stumbled through on my own and now I
have made a complete mess.” More tears came now. “I’m so sorry, God,” she sobbed. “I know how much I need you. I know I was stubborn and stupid. I left you totally out of things and went my own ignorant way. Please, forgive me. And, please, help me to get back on track with you. I really, really don’t want to be boy crazy anymore. I really, really want to live my life the way you want me to live it. I want to be more like Morgan and Emily and Carlie, God. I want to follow you. Please, help me.”

She prayed like that for a long time, and when she finally said, “amen,” she felt a strange sort of calm and peace. And then she felt hope. Real hope. And this wasn’t that kind of silly hope — like maybe some stupid boy liked her — no, this was a deep, solid hope — a reminder that God loved her. God loved her! What more did she need?

Amy got her backpack and went to her house. To her surprise, her mom was still there.

“Amy?” said Mom with a shocked look. “What are you doing home at this time of day?”

“I have to tell you something,” said Amy. And then, just like that, Amy told her mother the whole story. And her mother just sat there and listened.

“I’m sorry,” Amy finally said. “I know that I did stupid things and I know I shouldn’t have left school. But I was so humiliated. And then An and Ly laughed at me … and I just couldn’t make myself go back to school.”

“Your sisters laughed at you?” asked her mother with a creased brow.

“Not in a mean way,” Amy said quickly. “It’s just that they were having some big talk about guys and stuff, and I caught them off guard. But I’ve decided that I never want to be boy crazy again, Mom. I know I am way too young for that stuff. And all it does is hurt and make a mess of things.”

Mom smiled and nodded. “It sounds like you are growing up, Amy.”

“Really?”

“Those are wise words for a girl your age.”

“Well, I used to think I was so smart,” confessed Amy. “But now I know I’m not as smart as my friends, because Morgan and Emily and Carlie kept telling me that I was making a mistake to be boy crazy. They’re not like that at all. And they said I’d probably get hurt. And they were right.”

“You have wise friends too.”

“So, are you going to punish me?” asked Amy.

Her mom just looked at her now. “I think you’ve punished yourself enough.”

Amy nodded.

“But I am going to take you back to school now.”

Amy frowned. “I was afraid of that.”

So Amy’s mom drove her back to school, went with
her to the office, and after a quick explanation, which thankfully wasn’t too specific, Amy’s absence was actually excused. Amy went to Algebra Two, getting there just before the tardy bell rang.

Today, she gave the math problems her complete concentration. And today she didn’t make any mistakes on the chalkboard. She focused all her attention on her assignment and even managed to finish up by the time the bell rang. Oh, she knew that her last class of the day would be English and she would have to face Tyler. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but she simply wanted to get it over with.

To her surprise, when she got to English, Tyler acted almost as if nothing had happened earlier today. Sure, he wasn’t a bit friendly, and he seemed as uncomfortable as she felt, but somehow the four of them managed to work on their play, and eventually came up with an ending that seemed okay. It wouldn’t win any prizes, but at least it wasn’t romantic. No way did Amy want a romantic ending to this stupid play.

And the whole time Amy was careful not to look Tyler in the eyes. That would be too embarrassing! She mostly kept her head down, carefully writing down the lines that they came up with. Still, it seemed like a very long class. And finally, without looking directly at Tyler, she promised her group that she’d come back on Monday with a printed out script for everyone. When the last bell
rang, Amy practically leaped out of her seat and ran from the room. She couldn’t ever remember being this glad to see a school day end. And thank goodness it was Friday! She would have two whole days to recover from today’s humiliation.

“Amy, where were you at lunch today?” Morgan asked as Amy’s four friends surrounded her in front of her locker.

“I’ll tell you on the way home,” she said quietly as she rearranged her backpack and slammed her locker shut. All Amy wanted right now was to get out of this school and away from any more possibly humiliating scenes.

“We decided to start work on the Lonely Hearts valentines today,” said Emily as they headed for the exit. “We’re all going to the clubhouse now.”

“That way we can work all afternoon,” said Morgan. “Can you come too?”

“Just until five,” Amy told her. “Then I have to be at the restaurant. It’s Friday, you know, and they get busy.”

“That’s fine.”

“So, why did you decide to do it today instead of tomorrow?” Amy took a deep breath as they got outside. Soon they would be away from school … away from guys like Tyler or Brett — or any more curious glances.

“We want the valentines to be completely finished by Saturday,” explained Carlie.

“Because we found out that we have to work on decorations for the dance on Monday after school,” Chelsea informed her. “Vanessa said it would take us several hours.”

“And we want the valentines all ready to deliver on Tuesday morning
before
school,” said Morgan.

“My mom and Morgan’s grandma are going to help with the driving,” said Chelsea.

“Wow,” said Amy. “Sounds like you guys have it all worked out.”

“We had an emergency planning meeting at lunch,” said Morgan.

“We missed you,” said Carlie.

Amy nodded, looking at her friends. “I missed you guys too.”

“We heard about what happened by the band room this morning,” said Emily in a quiet voice, almost like she didn’t want to bring the whole thing up.

Amy sighed. “Yeah … I figured everyone probably knows by now.”

“I told them about it,” admitted Chelsea. “But only because Brett told me the whole thing and I felt so sorry for you.”

“You must’ve been pretty embarrassed,” said Carlie. “I think I would’ve died if something like that happened to me.”

“It was like a bad dream,” Amy told them. Then, as
they walked home, she replayed the whole thing, how she had left the school grounds, been laughed at by her sisters, and even how she’d hidden out at the clubhouse.

“Wow,” said Carlie. “I never would’ve believed that Amy Ngo would actually play hooky from school.”

“That’s not like you at all, Amy,” said Morgan with wide eyes.

Then Amy told them about praying to God and how it seemed like he’d answered and how she actually felt hopeful when she was done. “It’s like something in me really changed,” she finally said. “Like I really got it. I mean, one moment I felt hopeless and upset … and then it was like a miracle, I felt like I could deal with things.”

“We were so worried about you,” said Emily. “We were all praying for you today.”

“Thanks,” said Amy. “I totally appreciate it.”

“So, are you okay now?” asked Carlie with a worried expression.

Amy smiled at all of them. “I am okay. I mean, sure, I’m really embarrassed that I was such an idiot and that everyone saw me being publicly humiliated. It was pretty horrible. And you guys all know how I don’t like to look stupid.”

“Do we ever!” said Morgan. “We didn’t used to call you
Miss Ngo It All
for nothing.”

Amy sort of laughed. “Well, now I can admit that I do
not
know it all. In fact, it feels like I don’t know much of anything. Especially when it comes to boys!”

On Saturday afternoon, they were just finishing up their Lonely Hearts project. Amy and Carlie had been the baking team, making several batches of Amy’s mom’s recipe of almond cookies. Emily had been printing out the valentine greetings that she had found in poetry books. Chelsea and Morgan had been decorating the Valentine’s Day cards and the boxes, and now they were all working to assemble the packages.

Amy stepped back to admire the valentines, all stacked along the couch in the clubhouse like a small mountain of pretty pink hearts.

“They are so beautiful,” she said to her friends as she wrapped another set of cookies in plastic wrap, tying it with a pink ribbon before she handed it off to Morgan.

“We could probably sell them if we wanted to,” said Carlie. “Not that we’d want to, of course.”

“I’ve worked out the delivery lists,” said Emily as she held up the notebook. “But I’m a little concerned about delivering to Miss McPhearson. You know how it takes awhile to get out to her house. All the other deliveries are either in Harbor View or town or school.”

Amy considered this. Miss McPhearson was Amy’s special friend, and Amy knew that the old woman would probably feel badly if someone came out and made a delivery but didn’t come in to say hello.

“It’s going to be hard to get out there and back in time for school on Tuesday morning,” pointed out Morgan.

“Maybe I could get An to take me out to deliver it to her tomorrow,” said Amy. “I know it’s early, but that way I could spend a little time with her too. You know how lonely she is.”

“That’s for sure,” said Carlie. “Of all the lonely hearts, Miss McPhearson could be the queen.”

“Queen of the Lonely Hearts,” said Emily.

“So, does anyone want to come with me?” asked Amy. “I think I could talk An into taking us after church, but we go to early church, you know, so that we can get to the restaurant on time for the after-church rush.”

As it turned out, the others wouldn’t be out of church on time, and Chelsea and her parents had plans.

“We’re done,” said Morgan finally.

“Cool,” said Carlie.

“I just have once question,” said Amy. “Uh, who is going to put the valentines into kids’ lockers at school?”

Morgan laughed. “Meaning that you don’t want to?”

Amy firmly shook her head.

“I don’t blame her,” said Chelsea. “Not after Friday.”

“Here’s an idea,” said Emily. “Since Morgan’s grandma and Chelsea’s mom are helping to make deliveries, maybe Carlie and I can go to school early and sneak the other valentines into lockers before kids are around to see. And Amy, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I can help Morgan and her grandma deliver valentines,” offered Amy.

Soon it was all settled, and Amy was relieved that there would be no chance of her getting caught slipping a valentine into someone’s locker.

“I just thought of someone we didn’t send a valentine to,” said Emily suddenly. “And he’s a pretty lonely guy too.”

“Who?” they all asked.

“Derrick Smith.”

Carlie groaned. “Derrick Smith? He’s the biggest jerk in school.”

Amy couldn’t help but agree. Derrick Smith had only recently returned from being incarcerated in juvenile detention. He’d been the meanest of the bullies last year, and no one liked him.

“I know,” said Emily. “He’s been a pain. But I think it’s because he’s in pain too.”

“Emily is right,” said Morgan. “We have to make a valentine for Derrick too.”

So they all set to work making one more valentine. But
then there was a brief argument over who would deliver it. Finally, Emily said she would.

“I just hope you don’t get spotted,” Amy warned her.

“I’ll be very careful,” said Emily.

Then the girls finished up, locked the bus, and Amy went home in time to be picked up by Tu to go to work at the restaurant. Saturday was always a busy night for them, and it wasn’t unusual for kids from school to come to Asian Garden with their parents. But Amy was not prepared to see Tyler and his family there celebrating, as it turned out, his mom’s birthday. And it was too late for Amy to run and find someone else to see them to their table. And so she held her head high and pretended that Tyler hadn’t seriously hurt her feelings just yesterday as she showed them to the table and took their drink orders. But as she did this she managed to totally ignore Tyler, pretending like she didn’t even know him.

“What a nice young lady,” Tyler’s dad said as Amy left the table. Of course, he couldn’t see her rolling her eyes as she hurried away, begging An to take over for her.

“Table seven?” said An with surprise. “That’s the boy who was mean to you?”

Amy nodded. “Please, don’t make me go back in there.”

“I’ll handle it,” said An. Then she winked. “Want me to slip something into his tea?”

Amy chuckled. She knew An was joking, but it was pretty funny. Still, Amy was relieved when An offered to take over for Amy if Amy would help out in the kitchen. Amy was relieved to hide out with Ly and Tu.

“Amy, did you bring homework?” asked Mom when things eventually slowed down.

Amy nodded as she rinsed a plate.

“Why don’t you go work on it now,” said Mom. She put a hand on Amy’s shoulder. “You worked hard tonight.”

“Thanks.” Coming from Amy’s mother, this was a big compliment.

Then Amy dried her hands and went out to the dining area. Fortunately Tyler and his family were long gone by now. In fact, there were only a few tables still full. Amy retrieved her backpack from one of the coat hooks by the door and went into the office to work on her homework. Her plan was to use the computer there to write and print out four copies of the play. But as she opened the main part of her backpack, she suddenly noticed what appeared to be another mysterious note in one of the partially zipped side pockets.

“Unreal!” she exclaimed as she unzipped the small pocket. Sure enough, it was another secret admirer note. This was unbelievable! Creepy even. And part of Amy wanted to wad the horrid thing up and throw it away, but
another part of her was curious. And so she unfolded it and stared incredulously. The writing and pen color were exactly the same as the previous notes. But this time the message was a bit different.

Dear Amy
,

I was really sorry to see you hurt like that. Please, don’t take it personally. Sometimes we guys are just plain jerks. You are still the prettiest, smartest girl in the school. Don’t be discouraged
.

♥
YSA

Amy read the note again and again, trying to figure out who had written it and when it had been placed in her backpack. And why? What was the point? Surely this note wasn’t really from Tyler. That was just too unbelievable. But then again, he had been here with his family tonight. Still, it was so weird. So weird, in fact, that it actually made her head hurt. Why would Tyler do something like this? Was it just a mean trick?

To be fair, Amy hadn’t opened her backpack since Friday afternoon. So it seemed possible that someone besides Tyler might’ve slipped it in. Still, she wondered who would do this. Who would even care about how she’d been hurt? Well, besides her friends. Naturally, they cared.

Finally, Amy refolded the letter, stuffed it back into the pocket of her pack, and went to work on the play. Of course, now she was totally distracted. What if Tyler
had
put it there? And what if it had been his idea to come to the restaurant tonight just so he could do this? What if he really was sorry? Did she even care?

She focused her attention on writing the ending of their play on the computer. If she hurried, she might get it finished before closing. But as she wrote, she also made a few little minor changes. Nothing big, just improvements, really. Because, despite the fact that Amy didn’t really care much about the play, she was still a perfectionist and she was still unable to turn in a project that wasn’t top-notch.

“Time to go,” called An. It was almost ten o’clock, and Amy was just printing out the last copy.

“Just a minute,” said Amy as she stapled one of the scripts together.

“What’s that?” asked An.

Amy explained. Then she also told An about receiving yet another secret admirer note.

“From that boy?” demanded An.

“I don’t know,” admitted Amy. “I mean, he was here, and my backpack was out there on a coat hook.”

“That kid’s got a lot of nerve.” An laughed. “Or else he just has it really bad for you, Amy.”

Amy gathered the last script, turned off the printer, and then stapled the script together. “You mean, if he’s the one who wrote it. I could be wrong.”

“Well, don’t worry about it,” said An as she turned off the light.

“You guys ready?” called Ly from the kitchen.

As the three of them drove home, Amy asked An if she would take her to see Miss McPhearson after church tomorrow.

“I can drop you off,” said An. “But Ly will have to pick you up since I’m meeting someone for coffee. Do you mind, Ly?”

Amy could tell by the way her sister said
someone
that it was probably her boyfriend. She also knew that An didn’t like to talk about him much. For one thing, he was not Vietnamese. For another thing, it usually made Ly jealous.

“As long as I get you before the lunch rush begins,” said Ly.

“That’s fine,” said Amy. “Even if I stay an hour, it won’t be eleven yet.”

“Okay. I think it’s nice you don’t mind visiting the Dragon Lady,” said Ly.

“We don’t call her that anymore,” Amy pointed out.

“Maybe you don’t, but Cara still does.”

“I don’t think Cara ever really understood Miss McPhearson,” said Amy defensively. Cara had worked at the restaurant, as well as with Miss McPhearson, for a while. But she had eventually drifted to another town.

The next morning, after church, An dropped Amy at Miss McPhearson’s house. Oddly enough it was one of those foggy days like the first time Amy had gone to see
her. Only this time, Amy wasn’t afraid. She’d called ahead of time, and the old woman was expecting her.

“Come in,” Miss McPhearson said as she opened the door.

Amy handed her the pink heart-shaped box. “My friends and I made this for you,” she told her. “We wanted to deliver it secretly, but I thought you might enjoy the company too.”

“You thought right, Amy Ngo.” Miss McPhearson smiled down at the box. “Very pretty. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And I have made us tea.”

“You made it yourself?”

“Yes. I am on my own today. I’ve been giving Mrs. Platz Sundays off so she can go to church and whatnot.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“I have everything all set for us in the library, Amy.”

After they were seated, Miss McPhearson asked Amy to pour and serve the tea. Not a big surprise since she usually did this with Amy.

“I’ve missed you, Amy. You haven’t been to see me in weeks.” Miss McPearson’s tone was deep and gruff, as usual, but Amy knew by now that there was kindness beneath it.

“I’ve missed you too,” said Amy as she took a sip of tea.

“Tell me what you and your friends have been up to lately.”

So Amy told her about making all the secret admirer valentines, although she didn’t mention the Lonely Hearts Club part. “But you can’t tell anyone,” she said.

Miss McPhearson rolled her big owl eyes and said, “Humph. Who would I tell?”

“Well, we just wanted to keep the project top secret.”

“Wherever do you girls come up with your ideas?”

Then Amy explained about how she’d gotten some mysterious notes. “That kind of inspired me to think of it.”

“So, Amy Ngo, do you have a secret admirer?” Miss McPhearson’s brows shot up. “Do tell.”

Amy shrugged. “I guess I do. But I have to say, this secret admirer has made my life pretty miserable lately.” Then she went ahead and told Miss McPhearson the rest of the story. She expected the old woman to laugh, but Miss McPhearson simply nodded with a look of sympathy and understanding.

“You and I are a bit alike, Amy Ngo,” she said now.

“How is that?”

“We both have a fair amount of pride … and I suppose that it can sometimes get in the way.”

Amy nodded. “Yes. I think I sort of know what you mean.”

“But I hope that you will learn to control it, Amy, instead of letting it control you.”

Then Amy decided to tell Miss McPhearson about
how she’d asked God to help her — and how he had. “I realized that I had left God out of things … and that I need him to guide me.”

“Then you are more wise than I was at your age,” said Miss McPhearson.

“How is that?”

Miss McPhearson waved her hand in a dismissive way. “Old things, Amy, just water under the bridge now.”

Now there was a quiet lull, and Amy decided to fill it. “Well, I did learn that it’s totally stupid to be interested in boys — especially at my age.”

Miss McPhearson nodded. “Yes … perhaps so … at least for now.”

“Or maybe forever,” proclaimed Amy. “Boys just end up hurting you.”

Miss McPhearson sighed as she looked out the window that overlooked the ocean. It was still gray and foggy out there. “But here is a bit of advice from an old woman,” she said quietly, then stopped.

“What is it?” asked Amy.

Miss McPhearson turned back to Amy now. “Do not allow yourself to become jaded, Amy Ngo.”

“Jaded?” Amy frowned.

“Do not become bitter … welcome life, and it will welcome you.”

Amy nodded now. She knew that Miss McPhearson
had not lived her life quite like this. Perhaps this was her way of saying she regretted it.

“It’s like my father used to say,” she continued. “But I’m afraid I didn’t listen very well. I was too proud.”

“What did he tell you?”

“Oh, it’s an old adage … about getting back on the horse that bucked you off. He had numerous ways of saying it. But his meaning was always clear.”

“Oh …”

“So, even if you think all boys are silly now … someday you will need to reconsider.” Miss McPhearson smiled. “But you are a smart girl, Amy Ngo. I’m sure you will figure things out.”