Secret Fire (19 page)

As he spoke, he eased onto the bed, careful not to touch her until, with his eyes locked to hers, he slipped his hand between her legs to find the core of her agony. Her climax was immediate: her hips shooting off the bed, her head thrown back, a sharp cry—half pain, half ecstasy—on her lips.

Dimitri closed his eyes and kept them closed until he felt the tension drain out of her. When he opened them, it was to find her staring at him, her eyes inscrutable now, her features so relaxed that she could have been sleeping. He knew she was fully conscious, her mind clear and active while her body was temporarily free from the slavery of the drug. At this moment she was capable of any reaction, any normal reaction that was in character. In fact, he anticipated another lacerating tirade, not the calm question she finally asked.

“What did you mean, I don’t have to let you love me tonight?”

“Exactly that.”

He was leaning beside her; she had only to glance down to see his state of arousal. “You would let that go to waste?”

Dimitri nearly choked, seeing where her eyes were fixed. “It won’t be the first time.”

“But it isn’t necessary this time. I don’t have any fight left in me.”

“That’s the drug. I won’t take advantage of it.”

“Dimitri—”

“Katya, please! I only have so much control, and this discussion isn’t helping.”

She sighed in exasperation. He wasn’t listening. He was so set on getting her through this trial without deriving any pleasure from it himself that he couldn’t hear what she was really saying. The drug had nothing to do with her surrender. It had just hurried it along. But she wanted him to take advantage of it.
She
wanted to take advantage of it. Why did he have to turn noble
now?

There was no time to convince him that she wanted him, with or without the drug. It was starting again, the fire rushing through her veins, the ache deep down in her loins.

“Dimitri, make love to me,” she cried.

“Oh, God.”

He kissed her to shut her up, bruisingly, exquisitely, but he didn’t make love to her. He frustrated her efforts each time to draw him closer. The only parts he would allow to touch her were his lips and his hands, his magical hands. Her climax was swift and intense, but
without the sharing, there was no true satisfaction.

When her pulse quieted and her breathing returned to normal, Katherine made up her mind that she wasn’t going to have any more half measures. To go through hours of this kind of sensual torture when it wasn’t necessary was crazy. Even worse was Dimitri’s resolve to deny himself when his need was so obvious. True, she had been furious with him. She didn’t like being manipulated. But she understood his motivation. Thinking about it, she was even pleased that he could be so desperate to have her that he would do something like this.

“Dimitri?”

He groaned. His body was half twisted, his forehead pressed on his arm, his eyes tightly closed. For all the world he seemed like a man in the grip of mortal pain. Katherine smiled, mentally shaking her head.

“Dimitri, look at me.”

“No—at least, give me a moment to—”

He couldn’t finish. Katherine watched the muscles straining in his neck, his hands close into fists. His body was sheened with moisture, flushed with exertion. All that power working to resist a most natural inclination. And she might have been in the same state if the drug hadn’t made it impossible for her to resist.

She turned on her side toward him and said with calm deliberation, “If you don’t make love to me, Dimitri Alexandrov, I swear I will rape you.”

His head shot up. “You will
what?
”

“You heard me.”

“Don’t be absurd, Katya. It isn’t possible.”

“Is that so?”

She touched his shoulder, letting her fingers trail down his arm. He caught her wrist instantly, tightly, and held it away from him.

“Don’t!”

His sharpness didn’t sway her. “You can capture my hands, Dimitri, but what about my body?”

Katherine threw a leg over his hip. Dimitri’s reaction was to leap off the bed. Katherine was momentarily distracted by this full, unhampered view of him. God, he was glorious in his nudity, the firm musculature so in evidence, powerful, beautiful in symmetry.

“Stop it.” He scowled as she looked over every inch of his body.

She glanced up, amusement entering her eyes now. “Will you blindfold me too? And perhaps tie me down? After all, you did promise to help me, but you can’t if you won’t come near me, and I won’t promise not to touch you.”

“Damn it, woman, I don’t want you to hate me!”

“But I don’t,” she said with some surprise. “I couldn’t.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying right now,” he insisted. “Tomorrow—”

“Blast tomorrow! Good Lord, I can’t believe I’m arguing with you about this. Scruples don’t become you, Dimitri, not in the least. Or are you punishing me, because I took so long—”

“Sweet Christ, no!”

“Then don’t make me beg… Oh, God, it’s starting again. Dimitri, no more foolishness. You have to make love to me. You have to!”

He joined her on the bed and gathered her tightly into his arms. “Oh, God, Katya, forgive me. I thought—”

“You think too much,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms about his neck, reveling in the total contact with his flesh.

His lips ravaged her face, and then he was kissing her, his tongue plunging in deeply, mercilessly, the full force of his passion released in an explosion of longing. When he entered her seconds later, it was bliss, purest bliss as he quenched the fire; it was what she needed—to be completely possessed. And the sweet throbbing that followed was all the sweeter because he came with her.

Dimitri had only just begun. This was his fantasy come true, what he had dreamed about for so long: to have her needing him, wanting him with the same intensity that controlled him. And he took full advantage of it, now that the madness of his restraint was defeated. While she lay dazed from the power of her release, he worshipped her with his mouth and hands, unable to stop loving her even for a second.

Katherine smiled, feeling the warm, gentle tugging on her breasts, the strong fingers that skimmed over her skin with such tender caresses. She might be exhausted for the moment, only the moment, but her mind was working just fine.

And in that moment, Katherine knew she loved him.

T
he morning light turned the White Room into a brilliant display of diamond-bright jewel tones. Through the open windows sunlight spilled across the carpet but didn’t quite reach the bed. Like minuscule suns, dust motes danced and swirled with each gust of warm breeze or disappeared beyond the sunbeam.

In the large bed Katherine stretched luxuriously, consciousness slowly creeping up on her. There was something important—ah, yes, last night. She smiled as the memories flitted across her mind. A happy sigh escaped her just before she opened her eyes.

She was alone. A quick glance about the room. She was still alone. She shrugged and let her head sink back into the pillow.

What did you expect, ninny? Just because he was there that other time when you woke up, doesn’t mean he will be every time. He’s got things to do, people to see. After all, we arrived here only yesterday, and according to him, he left soon after and didn’t return until last night. There’s no doubt a multitude of things he has to attend to
.

But there was no denying it would have been nice to have woken up beside Dimitri. She was eager to let him know that she remembered everything and to assure him that everything she had said last night still held true this morning. And if he had been here now, she could have
told him—yes, there was no reason to keep it a secret—she could have told him she loved him.

Katherine smiled as she felt a rush of warmth spreading through her just from the thought. She still couldn’t quite believe it. She had fallen prey to that most silly of emotions. Her? Incredible. But love wasn’t silly after all. It was real, powerful, glorious. And this was one mistake Katherine was delighted to own up to.

She lay there thinking about this new emotion for nearly an hour before she suddenly leaped out of bed, unable to contain it any longer. She had to find Dimitri and tell him what she was feeling. What she didn’t realize was that her driving need was actually to hear that her feelings were returned.

She dressed in haste, with only a quick glance in the vanity mirror to assure herself that all her buttons were done up properly. She had long since given up trying to do anything with her hair. It was something she had never had to attend to herself, and something she had not been able to master from necessity. As long as it was neatly tied back with a ribbon, as she had worn it aboard ship, she was satisfied she looked demure, if unfashionable.

The most likely place to look for Dimitri first was his room, and so she knocked on the connecting door, and when she got no answer, she opened it anyway. She didn’t stop to think that even yesterday she wouldn’t have been so brazen. In her mind she had accepted Dimitri as her lover, and that gave her certain privileges that she wouldn’t have dreamed of taking otherwise. Unfortunately he wasn’t at the desk she had noticed last night, as she had hoped. He wasn’t
there at all, nor was Maksim, who could have helped her locate him.

Impatiently Katherine crossed Dimitri’s room to get to the hallway instead of going through her own room. So it was with some surprise that she came face to face with Dimitri’s aunt when she opened the door.

Sonya had been about to knock. She was given a start by finding Katherine coming out of Dimitri’s room, when she had distinctly heard the order for her to be placed in the White Room. If she had needed further evidence of what the woman was doing here, she had it now. And her disreputable appearance was a wanton announcement of her calling. A woman did not wear her hair down except in the bedchamber. That this one was about to leave with her hair flowing down her back only increased Sonya’s sense of moral indignation.

Katherine recovered first, enough to take a step back so that she wouldn’t have to crane her neck to look up at the imposing woman. She started to smile, but blushed instead on noting the censure in the older woman’s cold blue eyes. Good Lord,
that
was something she hadn’t considered in her newfound happiness, but here it was in abundance. Of course her new relationship with Dimitri was scandalous. She would have been the first to admit it if she hadn’t been one of the parties involved. Anyone else would say so without hesitation.

And yet she had made her decision, or rather, it had been made for her. She loved the man. And she was sure that he felt rather strongly about her as well. So she didn’t have a ring on her finger—yet. She had high hopes that the
matter would eventually be rectified. After all, this was not a schoolgirl infatuation that she had succumbed to. For her, this was an everlasting commitment. She had fought against it too long not to fight for it now.

Unconsciously Katherine stiffened her backbone, assuming a pose that was inherently regal. Sonya saw it as haughtiness and was outraged.

“I am looking for my nephew.”

“So am I,” Katherine replied politely. “So if you will excuse me…”

“One moment, miss.” Sonya’s tone was commanding, her
miss
derogatory. “If Dimitri is not here, what are you doing in his room alone?”

“As I said, looking for him.”

“Or taking this opportunity to steal from him.”

The accusation was so incongruous that Katherine couldn’t take it seriously. “With all due respect, madame, I don’t steal.”

“I’m to take your word for it? Don’t be absurd. The English might be so gullible, but we Russians are not. You will have to be searched.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“You’ll do more than that if we find anything of value on you.”

“What the—” Katherine gasped as Sonya began to drag her down the hall.

She tried to shake off the woman’s grip, but it was as if talons had hooked into her arm. Sonya was nearly a foot taller than her, and her spare frame was deceptively strong. Katherine found herself being pulled down the stairs, where several servants had stopped in the hall to gape at yet another spectacle she was involved in.

Keep your temper, Katherine. Dimitri will straighten this out. After all, you haven’t done anything that he would object to. His aunt is just being bitchy. Didn’t Marusia warn you she was a tyrant, that Dimitri’s personal servants stayed well out of her path?

In the large entrance hall, Katherine was pushed into the hands of the nearest footman. Older than the others, but the more thickly built, he seemed genuinely nonplussed about what he should do with her.

Sonya was quick to clarify. “Search her for anything of value, and be thorough. She was found unattended in the Prince’s chamber.”

“Now just a minute,” Katherine said with forced evenness. “Dimitri wouldn’t stand for this, madame, and I believe you know that. I demand that he be sent for.”

“Demand? Demand!”

“Your hearing is quite excellent,” Katherine cut in sarcastically.

She probably should have resisted the gibe, but then she was really angry now, her diplomacy gone by the wayside. The witch had no right to charge her with any wrongdoing. There was simply no basis for the accusation. And for her to presume to treat Katherine like one of her serfs was the outside of enough.

For Sonya, Katherine’s sarcasm was the last straw. No one had ever spoken to her with such lack of respect, and in front of the servants. It couldn’t be allowed.

“I will have you—” Sonya began in a shout, then seemed to recollect herself, though her face was suffused with angry color. “No, I will let
Dimitri attend it, then you will see that you mean nothing to him. Where is the Prince?” She rounded on the servants, who were watching this scene in fascination. “Come now, someone must have seen him this morning. Where is he?”

“He’s not here, Princess.”

“Who said that?”

The girl almost didn’t step forward. To have attention drawn to her when the mistress was in one of her rages wasn’t the greatest piece of wisdom. But she had opened her mouth. She had already put her foot in it. She was damned already and couldn’t do worse by telling all.

Katherine thought the girl was Lida at first glance, but she was younger, and lacking Lida’s confidence, seemed actually frightened. What did
she
have to be frightened about? Katherine was the one in a pickle here.

“My sister woke me before dawn, Princess, to say goodbye,” the girl explained, her eyes trained on the floor. “She was in a rush because the Prince had already left, and she and the rest of his entourage had to hurry to catch up.”

“Never mind all that!” Sonya snapped. “Where has he gone?”

“To Moscow.”

There was a moment’s silence, and then Sonya’s lips turned up at one corner as her cold eyes fastened on Katherine. “So he takes his duty seriously after all. I shouldn’t have doubted him. I should have known he would leave in all haste to resume his courtship of the Princess Tatiana. But he’s left you behind for me to deal with. I should just put you out.”

“A capital idea,” Katherine said tightly.

She was still angry enough not to be bowled over by this bit of news. Dimitri gone? Just like that? And to secure himself a fiancée? No, that was his aunt’s assumption, not fact.
Don’t you dare jump to conclusions, Katherine. There’s probably a very good reason for him leaving without a single word to you. And he’ll be back. You’ll have answers, the right answers, and you’ll laugh that you even doubted him for a second
.

“So you would like to be on your way?” Sonya broke into her thoughts tersely, her moment of improved humor past. “Then perhaps I should keep you here. Yes, Dimitri might have forgotten your existence already, but his man, Vladimir, isn’t so lax, though apparently he was so harried this morning he overlooked leaving instructions concerning you. But there must be some reason you have been left behind, so I suppose I must make certain you are still here when they return, much as I would wish it otherwise.”

“I can tell you exactly why I am here,” Katherine retorted indignantly.

“Don’t bother. Anything your kind says must be held in doubt.”

“My
kind?
” Katherine fairly shrieked.

Sonya didn’t elaborate. Her expression and the way she looked Katherine up and down said it all. Her eyes narrowed. She was queen bee again, through with her fury, under control, and every bit the dried-up old tyrant Marusia had called her.

“Since you are to remain at Novii Domik, you must be taught the proper conduct. Disrespect is not allowed here.”

“Then you could use a few lessons in courtesy yourself, madame, because I recall being quite
polite to you until you made your unfounded charge against me. You, on the other hand, have been insulting from the start.”

“That will do!” Sonya shouted. “We will see if a visit to the woodhouse doesn’t curb your insolence. Semen, take her there immediately.”

Katherine almost laughed. If the witch thought locking her up in the woodhouse was going to make one whit of difference, she was sadly mistaken. She had just spent endless weeks confined on the ship. A few more days’ confinement until Dimitri returned wouldn’t bother her at all. And she could spend the time envisioning Dimitri’s high rage over his aunt’s tyranny.

Even the servants could envision it, Katherine thought rather smugly. The fellow holding her— Semen was it?—had hesitated a full five seconds before he began to tug her toward the back of the house. The others who watched them registered expressions from shock and amazement to outright fear.

Katherine was marched outside and over to one of the outbuildings she had noticed on her arrival. From the back of the house she had her first view of the village nearly a half-mile away, and the endless acres of ripening wheat, like a sea of gold in the morning sunlight. Funny that she could appreciate what a splendid scene lay before her while she was on her way to being locked up. But she could. It was the quest for new sights, new experiences, that made this whole trip an adventure that satisfied a longing she had long held dear.

The woodhouse was a small shedlike structure where cut wood was stored. Windowless, floor
less even, Katherine’s first look inside took chink out of her smugness.

Buck up, Katherine. So it’s not going to be pleasant. All the more reason to expect profuse apologies from Dimitri when this is over. He’ll make it up to you, see if he doesn’t
.

Besides Semen, the brawniest of the footmen had also accompanied her at a nod from Sonya, as had Sonya herself. The four of them were now inside the woodhouse. Ample sunlight spilled in from the open doorway to light the stuffy room. But instead of being released and left alone, Katherine was handed over to the younger, more muscular fellow who gathered both of her hands in his and held them tightly in front of her.

“Am I to be tied up too?” Katherine sneered at this. “How quaint.”

“There’s no need for ropes,” Sonya said condescendingly. “Rodion here is quite capable of restraining you for however long it takes.”

“However long what takes?”

“You will be caned until you are ready to beg my pardon for your insolence.”

The blood momentarily left Katherine’s face. So that’s what a visit to the woodhouse meant! Good Lord, this was right out of the Dark Ages!

“You’re out of your mind.” Katherine said each word slowly, clearly, as she turned her head to glare at the older woman, who now stood behind her. “You can’t get away with this. I’m a member of the British peerage, the Lady Katherine St. John.”

Sonya was given a start, but only for a moment. She had already drawn her conclusions about Katherine, and serfs weren’t the only ones who clung tenaciously to first impressions. The
woman was of no account. Dimitri’s treatment of her proved it. It was Sonya’s duty to break such haughtiness before it spread to the other servants.

“Whoever you are,” Sonya said coldly, “you must learn some manners. You may determine yourself how long it will take for you to improve your disposition. You may beg my pardon now—”

“Never!” Katherine spat. “I give respect only to those deserving it. You, madame, have only my contempt.”

“Begin!” Sonya screeched, her face livid with rage once again.

Katherine’s head swung back, her eyes impaling the footman whose hold had tightened on her wrists with the order. “Release me this second.”