Secret Love (22 page)

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Authors: Brenda Jackson

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BOOK: Secret Love
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Sterling’s heart twisted at the hurt he also heard in her voice. “I think at first Jake thought it was a joke.
But when other warnings began coming, it soon became apparent it wasn’t a joke.”

Sterling came across the room and sat down next to her on the sofa. “He wanted to keep you safe and protected as much as possible. He also wanted to keep things from the media as long as he could.”

He then provided all the facts to her that Jake had given him.

“Conrad Ammons?” she asked quietly, unbelievingly. “The reporter?”

“Yes, Conrad Ammons. The authorities are looking for him now, and as soon as he is picked up this nightmare will be over.”

Pain welled up inside Diamond at the thought of what Jacob had been going through for the past three weeks. His life had been in danger, and she hadn’t known anything about it. She had spoken to him on the phone earlier that day and he hadn’t given any kind of hint that anything was wrong. “But when will another nightmare begin, Sterling? This should not have happened. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Diamond. It’s not your fault that Ammons is someone who wanted to protect you because you resembled his sister.”

“But placing Jacob in danger is my fault. I’ve only turned his life upside down since I’ve been in it. It’s not fair. All I…I wanted,” Diamond sniffed, fighting back her tears “for once was a special love. For once I wanted to love a man who would love me just as much with no strings attached, no harm and no worries. I should have known better than to believe in love ever after. Even giving up my career as an actress isn’t helping matters.”

“Jake loves you, Diamond.”

She smiled up at Sterling through her tears. “Yes, I know. He loves me so much that he’s willing to put his own life on the line to protect mine. I can’t have him doing that. I love him too much.” She inhaled deeply before saying, “I guess our problem is that we have too much love.”

“There can never be too much love.”

“For me and Jacob there is.”

Without saying another word Diamond stood and walked out of Sterling’s office.

Chapter 25

D
iamond stretched out on the bed and turned her head on the pillow to stare out of the window. She always thought the view of the mountains surrounding Sterling’s home was beautiful, but today she didn’t want to think about anything but Jacob and what he was enduring because of her.

Sighing, she placed an arm over her forehead and shifted her gaze to the ceiling. A single tear rolled from the corner of her eye. What would she have told her child if anything had happened to Jacob?
I’m sorry, but your father is no longer alive because of me…

More tears filled her eyes as she gently rubbed her stomach where their baby rested. Why was the world so cruel? Why couldn’t people—fans, media, photographers—just leave her and Jacob alone to love each other in peace?

Blast it! They would never have peace whether she was Diamond Swain Madaris, the movie star, or Diamond Swain Madaris, the ex-movie star. They’d had more peace from the prying eyes of the news-hungry press when their marriage had been a secret. Now their secret love was no longer a secret and with the revelation came complications. And she had a deep feeling that this would only be the beginning.

Diamond glanced toward the bedroom door when she heard a soft knock. “Come in.”

The door opened, and Colby appeared in the doorway. “Hi. Sterling just told me what’s going on. Are you all right?”

Diamond nodded and swung her legs off the mattress to sit up. Colby crossed the room to sit beside her. “Is there anything I can do?” she asked.

Diamond smiled through her tears. “Not unless you’ve got another planet for us to go live on.”

Colby smiled gently. “Sorry. I can’t help you there.” After a few moments, she asked, “Are you upset with Jake for not telling you what was going on, Diamond?”

“Yes, somewhat. But I’m more upset with myself for having placed him in that position in the first place. We should never have married.”

“Oh, Diamond, surely you don’t mean that.”

“I do. This is the main reason I didn’t want to marry him. I knew if he married me that his world would be turned inside out.”

“Why are you blaming yourself? You know as well as I do that Jake is not blaming you. He loves you.”

“But look what loving me has gotten him. I couldn’t handle it if anything were to happen to him because
of me. I would never forgive myself, and our child wouldn’t forgive me either.”

Colby reached over and hugged Diamond. Right now words would be useless. What her friend needed now more than anything was a hug.

 

Conrad Ammons walked out of the food mart to the car he had rented. He had taken two weeks of vacation time from his job to do what he felt had to be done. From the information he was able to garner from the locals, Jake Madaris rarely left his ranch.

Ammons knew that more than likely Madaris would be attending the Cattlemen’s Ball that would be held in a few nights. He would make the hit then. Everything was set and in place. Getting rid of Jacob Madaris would be a piece of cake, especially since Diamond wouldn’t be around and there wouldn’t be any chance of her getting hurt. Word had it that she was visiting Sterling Hamilton and his wife and new baby and wouldn’t be making it home for the ball. No doubt she would mourn the loss of her husband for a while, but later she’d be thankful that he had spared her a life of abuse. Something he had not done for Caroline.

Ammons was about to open the door to his car and get in when suddenly out of nowhere two men dressed in dark suits appeared by his side. He relaxed, knowing thieves didn’t usually dress so neat and clean. “Can I help you guys with something?” he asked in a friendly tone.

“That depends,” the taller of the men said. “May we see some identification, please?”

Ammons’s expression froze. “Why? Who are you?”

The shorter man answered, “FBI. May we see some
identification please?” He repeated the same question the taller guy had asked earlier.

Shifting his grocery bag to one arm Ammons pulled out his wallet from his pants pocket and flipped it open for the two men to see.

“Mr. Ammons, you’re under arrest.”

 

“I’m glad it’s all over, Jake,” Sterling was saying into the telephone receiver. “Yeah, Diamond’s okay, but she’s pretty upset about everything.”

Sterling shook his head. “It’s not so much that you didn’t tell her what’s going on, Jake. She’s on a pretty bad guilt trip right now.”

Sterling nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you then.” He placed the phone back in its cradle on the nightstand. He then pulled Colby closer into his arms.

She lifted her head and looked up at him. “Did they capture that guy?”

“Yes. They picked Ammons up at a food store a couple of miles from the ranch. He’d been clueless that the authorities were on to him and that there was a warrant out for his arrest.”

Colby nodded. “So what does Jake plan on doing about Diamond?”

Sterling released a deep sigh. “He’ll be here to get her as soon as he can wrap up things with the authorities there.”

 

It was all over the television and on every network, the newsbreaking story that someone had been arrested for planning to kill Diamond Swain’s husband. And to some the most interesting part of it all was that the man had been part of the media. A fully loaded
high-powered rifle and a box of ammunition had been found in the trunk of his car, which meant Conrad Ammons had meant business.

Not wanting to hear anything more, a teary-eyed Diamond turned off the television set. She turned at the sound of the knock on her door. “Yes?”

Colby entered the room with the baby in her arms. “You have a phone call, Diamond.”

Diamond inhaled deeply, hoping it wasn’t Jacob. She didn’t want to talk to him right now. The last thing she needed was to be weakened by the sound of his voice. She had made up her mind about what she had to do. She had made up her mind to return to California and not go to Whispering Pines. Jacob’s life would be better without her in it. That was her decision and she couldn’t let anyone, especially Jacob, change it. “Is it Jacob?” she asked quietly.

Colby shook her head. “No, it’s your father.”

Diamond frowned. “My father?”

She quickly walked out of the bedroom and into Sterling’s empty study and picked up the phone. “Jack?”

“Diamond? Are you all right? I heard the reports. It’s been all over the television about what Ammons had planned to do. I’ve been worried sick.”

Hearing the concern in her father’s voice comforted Diamond somewhat. It felt good to know that even after their cross words a few days ago, he had cared enough to call. “I’m fine. It wasn’t me that he was after, Jack. It was Jacob. He wanted to hurt Jacob.” Diamond couldn’t control the trembling in her voice.

“Yes, I know, sweetheart.”

Diamond swiped at the tears in her eyes. “Jacob
knew all along and made sure I was safe.” She gulped back a sob. “Did you hear what one reporter had to say? He said that Jacob had hired a private investigator because he didn’t want to take it to the police because he thought the media coverage might make the guy turn on me. Jacob was even going to let the FBI use him as live bait the night of the Cattlemen’s Ball to lure Ammons out.”

Her throat contracted in another gulp, and she said, “He didn’t want to take any chances with my life, but he was willing to take plenty of chances with his. He was doing everything to protect me and wasn’t thinking of himself. Oh, Daddy, what am I going to do? It’s all my fault.”

Jack Swain heard the pain, agony and distress in his daughter’s voice. His heart wrenched painfully. He doubted if she was aware that she had called him Daddy. He regretted that he had ever stopped her from doing so.

The lines of strain and worry he felt etched into his face made him feel a lot older…if that was possible. “Everything is going to be all right, Diamond. I want you to come home. I’m coming to get you to bring you home.”

Chapter 26

S
terling took one look at Jake as he descended the helicopter and knew the man had come to the mountain intent on claiming his wife. He shook his head, wondering just how Jake was going to handle the news that Diamond was no longer there. The closer Jake came toward him, the more Sterling saw his tired eyes and haggard face.

“Where’s Diamond?” Jake asked when he finally reached where Sterling was standing.

“She’s gone, Jake.”

Jake lifted a dark brow. Sterling also saw the anger that suddenly appeared in his eyes and how his jaw tightened. “What do you mean, she’s gone?”

“Like I told you on the phone, Jake, she was upset. She wanted to leave and short of tying her up and gagging her mouth, there was no way I could keep her here against her wishes any longer.”

“So why didn’t you bring her to Whispering Pines?”

“I offered to do that,” Sterling finally answered. “But she said that Whispering Pines was the last place she wanted to go to right now.”

Sterling’s words were like a knife to Jake’s heart. Whispering Pines had always been her haven. Jake raked a hand down his face. He hadn’t had any sleep in over twenty hours. Once the authorities had apprehended Ammons, there had been numerous questions to answer and a multitude of paperwork and reports to complete since both the local and federal authorities had been involved.

“Where did she go?” he asked, trying desperately to keep his head on straight. The weight of everything that had happened over the last three weeks was beginning to take a toll on him. It seemed he might have made a mess of things by not telling Diamond what had been going on. But even if he had, she would be doing the same thing she was doing now and that was blaming herself.

“She went to her father’s place in Beverly Hills. The old man actually came for her himself.”

Jake scowled fiercely. “That figures.” If Jack Swain thought for one minute he would keep Diamond away from him, the old man had another thought coming.

Sterling sighed. “Maybe her going with him was for the best right now, Jake. I know Jack Swain. He can be a hard man at times, but I truly believe that he loves his daughter.”

Jake snorted. “If that’s true, he has one hell of a way of showing it.”

“I have a feeling that he wants to change his way of doing things regarding Diamond,” Sterling said quietly.

Jake rammed his hands into his pockets and stared out into the distance. “I love her, Sterling.”

“I know you do, Jake. I also know what could have happened to you had the authorities not captured Ammons. Diamond knows, too, and the thought of your life being in any sort of danger really freaked her out big time. She’s been crying ever since I had to tell her what’s going on, and she’s blaming herself.”

Sterling said nothing for a while, hoping Jake would listen to what he was saying. “Think about it, Jake,” he said, as he began to talk again. “Over the past three weeks, you’ve done everything in your power to make sure Diamond was protected. Now it’s Diamond’s turn to want to protect you. She feels she has to do whatever she has to do to keep you safe as well. Give her time to think things through. She’ll eventually come around.”

“I’m going to make sure she does,” Jake responded stubbornly. He then turned around and walked off back toward the helicopter.

“Let’s go,” he said to the pilot once he had gotten inside and was strapped in.

The man glanced over at him. “Where to, Mr. Madaris?”

“Get me back to the airstrip. My pilot will be flying me to California.”

 

Jack Swain looked up from the papers he was reading when Casey walked into his office. “What is it, Casey?”

“Security just phoned. Jacob Madaris is at the entrance gate.”

Jack Swain leaned back in his chair. He had spent
most of the morning going over the report he had ordered on Jake Madaris, which was something he should have done the moment Diamond had told him she was married to him.
Ebony
magazine had declared Jacob Madaris as an excellent businessman.
Black Enterprise
magazine had called him an investment genius, with his ability to play the stock market as easily as a gambler was able to shuffle a deck of cards.
Time
magazine had applauded his efforts in aiding the British government with England’s cattle industry’s “Mad Cow” epidemic. But what impressed Jack even more about the man was that he was a man dedicated to his family, and more importantly he was a man Jack knew without a doubt loved his daughter. His actions over the past three weeks were clear evidence of that.

“By all means, Casey, let him in. I think it’s time that Mr. Madaris and I have a nice, long talk. We need to clear up a few things.”

A few minutes later, Jack Swain stood when a towering Jacob Madaris walked into his office. Before giving Jake a chance to say anything he said, “I was wondering just how long it was going to take you to get here to claim your wife. You’re earlier than I expected, which really doesn’t surprise me at all.”

 

Diamond spent the first day she arrived at her father’s house in abject misery. As much as she didn’t want to, she missed Jacob. It didn’t help matters that she felt she was doing the right thing—that without her in his life his world would get back to normal and that he would be safe.

She knew that because of the baby, there would
always be some sort of bond between them, but she’d learn to deal with that. She had eight months to learn how to live without him.

She sat down on the bed and patted her stomach. Lowering her head, she bit down on her lips to keep from crying again. “Oh, baby Madaris, how on earth are we going to make it without your daddy? I love your daddy so much. So very, very much.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Diamond jerked her head up to see Jake standing in the doorway. She quickly came to her feet, fighting the urge to tell him how glad she was to see him, and fighting a bigger urge to race across the room and throw herself in his arms. “Jacob! What are you doing here?”

The look he gave her was concentrated, absolute, determined. He crossed the room to stand in front of her. “I came for my Diamond,” he said in a deep, husky voice.

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head and bit down on her bottom lip. “You shouldn’t have come, Jacob. I’m not going with you. There’s no way I’ll be able to go through something like this again. And there’s no way I’ll let you go through it either.”

Jake folded his arms across his chest so he wouldn’t reach out for her. They had to talk. There would be plenty of time to hold her in his arms later. “Oh? And just who made you God, Diamond? Who gave you the authority to dictate what happens in either of our lives?”

Tears sprang into Diamond’s eyes at his harsh words. “You don’t understand,” she said, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. “I love you more than life itself. If anything were to happen to you because of
me, I’d never forgive myself, and your child would grow up hating me.”

Jake frowned. Sterling was right. She had really freaked out big time over this. “So what do you want, Diamond? Some guarantee that I’ll live forever? Well, sorry, babe, that’s tough because I can’t give you one. In life there are no guarantees. The only guarantee I’ll give you is that I’ll love you until the day I die, and that as long as I live I’ll continue to do whatever I have to do to protect you.”

“But you shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do. You belong to me. It wouldn’t matter if you were a secretary, nurse, teacher or a housewife, I’d still make it my business to put you and my child first. To ask me not to do that would be asking me not to be a man who takes care of his own. Any man would want to protect those he loves.”

“But my life will make it difficult for you. It’ll put you more at risk. Even giving up acting may not help. The media will still find a reason to hound us since I’ll still be Jack Swain’s daughter.”

“Fine. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together. We can’t allow the world to dictate how we should live our life. I never have, and I won’t start now. And don’t ask me to give you up because I won’t.”

He reached out and gently touched her cheek. “For more than twenty years, I thought Whispering Pines was all I needed and all I ever wanted. Then you came into my life, and I found out just what real happiness meant.”

His gaze continued to bore into hers. He saw the tears that flowed freely from her eyes and let his thumb brush a few of them away. “That night I asked you to
marry me, I knew the risks. But I didn’t care. The only thing I could think about was just how much I loved you and that there was no way I could let you walk out of my life,” he said more softly now. “And I knew our marriage would not be a normal one, but what I did know was that it would be forever, because diamonds are forever, and you are my Diamond. Your radiance shines bright within my heart, so bright that it overwhelms me at times. When we married, it was for better or for worse.”

He took her hands in his. “So we’re just beginning to taste a little of the bad times, but it could get even worse. Should we throw in the towel and give up? No, I don’t think so.”

Jake’s hands moved to cup her face. “Love is risky, Diamond. But so is my getting up in the morning and herding five hundred head of cattle across an open range. So is your getting on a plane and jetting across the country each and every time you go to shoot a movie. Do I worry about you when you’re not with me? Damn right I do. But I have to believe that the same God that brought you into my life will keep you there until he’s ready for things to be different. He’s the one calling the shots, Diamond. Not me, nor you, nor Ammons nor the media.”

Jake’s lips moved closer to hers. “What we share is a gift from heaven. I believe it, and you have to believe it, too.” He touched his lips to hers. “Come home with me, Diamond,” he said tenderly. “Home to Whispering Pines.” He reached down and laid a hand over her belly. “I came to take you and our baby home.”

He kissed her then. Several times. He mated his mouth to hers slowly and gently. When he felt her
response he deepened his kiss and his hold. It was only when they both needed to breathe did he release her mouth.

“Oh, Jacob, I was so afraid.”

He heard the anguish in her voice and pulled her slender form against his chest, holding her tight. “I know, sweetheart. But it’s over now.”

She leaned back out of his arms and looked up at him. “You should have told me what was going on.”

He nodded. “Yeah, maybe I should have, but I made the decision not to because I didn’t want you to worry about it…or blame yourself.”

He pulled her back into his arms. “Our life together won’t be easy, Diamond. But we knew that in the beginning and chose to love each other anyway. We can’t and we won’t let anyone change our plans on that.”

Diamond looked up at him. He was right. They had to believe their love was strong enough to endure anything. “No, we can’t and we won’t.”

Jake kissed her again. He then released her and walked over to the door and locked it. He hadn’t slept all night. He had tried closing his eyes on the plane, but each and every time he did so he’d seen Diamond. He walked back over to her.

“I love you,” he whispered softly.

“And I love you, too.”

He picked her up and placed her on the bed. Turning her into his arms he kissed her again. He wanted to remove her clothes, but she wanted to keep right on kissing him, so he obliged her. She wanted to take the lead and set the pace for them and so he decided to grant her her wishes there, too.

She began unbuttoning his shirt. Once that was
done she opened it up and ran her hands lightly down his chest.

He shivered at her touch and sucked in a deep breath.

She then began unfastening the fly of his jeans, slowly easing down the zipper. Kneeling above him on the bed she tugged the denim down his legs. She made sure his briefs quickly followed them. She settled back on her heels and looked at him, her expression passionate, serious. “For always?” she asked quietly, softly.

He met her gaze for the longest moment before reaching behind her head and bringing her mouth down to his. “And forever,” he responded hoarsely. “Diamonds are forever.” And then he kissed her again, long and hard.

After he released her mouth he watched as she leaned back and untied her robe and removed it. Her gown soon followed. Then she once again rose above him until she was covering him with her body, straddling his hips. He inhaled deeply when her body touched his, surrounding him. And when she joined their bodies, sheathing him inside of her, he shivered uncontrollably at how she was making him feel. He clutched at the bedspread, wadding the material in his hand as she rode him into a place where mindless sensation after mindless sensation awaited him. What she was doing to him and the way she was making him feel was pure ecstasy.

She held his gaze and looked into his eyes as she continued to move over him, stroke him, love him, pleasure him. When her movements became faster, hotter, wilder, he gently flipped her on her back and
took over the dominant role, taking them to a place where total fulfillment and utter abandonment dwelled.

His breathing quickened when he felt her femininity clench him and hold him tight within her. “Sweet heaven,” he moaned. He couldn’t think of any other place he would rather be at the moment but inside of her. He no longer felt tired. He felt like he was being plunged straight into an earth-shattering abyss. The primitive rhythm of their mating accelerated until there was only one place to go.

And they went there together as ripples of fulfillment and shocks of passion tore through both of their bodies.

They knew that even without being at Whispering Pines that they had come home. Home was where the heart was, and at the moment it was in each other’s arms.

 

When Jake awoke it was daylight outside the window, and Diamond was no longer in bed with him. Before he could clear his sleepy mind to wonder where she had gone, the bedroom door opened and she came in carrying a tray loaded with food.

She looked up and saw that he was awake and smiled. “All during the night you and I pretty much took care of one type of hunger, and I thought I’d better take care of the other while you were sleeping. Since I’m eating for two now I ate breakfast with my father. Here’s something for you to eat.”

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