Secret Love (6 page)

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he said apologetically, knowing it sounded lame and out of place when deep down he wasn’t sorry at all.

Diamond reached up and touched his lips with her fingertips. “Well, I’m glad you did it. Good night, Jacob.”

Speechless, Jake watched her go into the cabin and close the door.

Later that night while in bed, Diamond thought about her afternoon at Jake’s house. At first he hadn’t seemed pleased when Blaylock had invited her to stay for dinner, but had been a gracious host nonetheless. To avoid getting in anyone’s way, she had found solitude in his huge study.

In addition to being a place where he managed the business side of the ranch, the room had also been filled with a large collection of various books, several antiques and photographs of his family. From studying the numerous framed pictures that decorated one huge wall in his study, it was evident that he was a man who truly treasured his family. And if the photographs were any indication, the Madaris family was a rather large one. It was one he was truly proud of.

Diamond thought about her own family. Up until her fourth birthday, her mother had tried using her as a pawn to milk money out of her father. He had ended her cruel game by fighting for custody of her and winning. Her young mother, who had lived a wild and reckless life filled with parties and shifting from one man to another, had died less than a year later when her lover, a depressed stuntman, had shot and killed her in a jealous rage and then had turned the gun on himself, ending his own life.

Diamond had spent a lot of her early years with her paternal grandmother in North Carolina since Jack Swain traveled most of the time. Jennie Swain had been everything a grandmother should be. She was a warm, loving person, sensitive and considerate of others’ needs; a lady who was adored by anyone who knew her. One of the things her grandmother enjoyed
doing was giving plenty of hugs. She always said that a hug a day would keep whatever ails you away.

Diamond smiled. Sterling claimed she had inherited her grandmother’s trait of being a huggy person, and she knew he was right. She would instinctively hug most people she met. It was something that sometimes got misread as a come-on to some men in Hollywood who saw a hug as an invitation to something else. Over the years, she’d had to limit her hugs to those she felt comfortable in hugging.

Diamond released a huge sigh. With the passing of her grandmother four years ago, that left only her and her father, and they were a long way from being a family. Deep down she believed he loved her, he just had a strange way of showing it at times. Over the years, she had gotten used to his ways. However, that didn’t stop her from wishing things were different between them. She couldn’t help but envy the relationship Jacob had with his family. It must be a wonderful feeling to be a part of such a close group of people.

Diamond touched her lips with her fingertip when she thought about his kiss. She had tried hard not to think about it and to forget it ever happened, but she couldn’t.

And she doubted that she ever would.

Unlike him, she had not regretted the kiss and had been honest with him and herself when she had told him so. She could tell he hadn’t been pleased with that bit of information from her, either.

When Diamond finally dozed off to sleep a short while later, her mind was still filled with thoughts of Jacob and his kiss.

J
ake Madaris was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. He knew it. Blaylock knew it. And his men knew it.

But what Blaylock and the men couldn’t figure out was why. Of all the men who had been around Diamond at lunch two days ago, Jake had spent more time with her than anyone. So everyone couldn’t help but wonder what had him in a tiff. If anything, to their way of thinking, he should have been a man on top of the world. What man wouldn’t be in his shoes?

All of them would have been surprised to know that Jake didn’t want to be in those shoes. He didn’t want to be the man Diamond had spent most of her time with that day. It was for that very reason that he had deliberately avoided her since then. The night he’d taken her back to the cabin was one he was trying hard to forget, but the memory of her taste wouldn’t let him.

And that was the reason for his bad mood.

The men were still talking about her visit and the pies she’d baked for them. There was nowhere he could go on the ranch without hearing her name or someone singing her praises. He knew she had baked another batch of cookies, this time for his men. It had been Blaylock whom she had called to pick up the delivery, not him. A part of him should have been overjoyed at the thought that he hadn’t had to see her again, but he wasn’t.

It had been two days and two nights, and instead of feeling relieved, he was feeling annoyed. Which was one of the reasons he had deliberately not gone back to the ranch at midmorning like he normally did. Blaylock had casually mentioned at breakfast that he would be going to the cabin to fetch Diamond to the ranch for a cooking lesson in chili making.

Jake shook his head. Although everyone knew that Blaylock made the best chili this side of the Mexican border, he couldn’t figure out why on earth Diamond would want to know how to do it. She had enough money to hire the most expensive cooks that money could buy. Why would she want to learn anything about cooking chili?

Just for the novelty of it,
an inner voice told him.
It’s something new and different to her. It’ll wear off soon enough, and she’ll be just like the other sophisticates, bored as sin. Who knows. She may even become bored enough to shorten her three-week stay at Whispering Pines.

Jake’s jaw tightened and the muscle there began to twitch at the thought of her leaving before she was supposed to. He suddenly became irritated with him
self yet again for even caring what she did. Totally frustrated, like he had been for the past two days, he stomped out of the barn and walked toward the house.

Opening the door, he paused in the doorway when he heard the sound of voices. More specifically he heard Blaylock’s chuckles and a woman’s laughter. No one had to tell him that laugh had come from Diamond.

Jake frowned. Blaylock had assured him Diamond would be gone when he returned to the ranch later that afternoon, so what was she still doing here? He decided not to even find out. He was about to ease out of the door and go back to the barn before anyone realized he’d come in, when Diamond and Blaylock walked out of the kitchen into the hallway. They looked over in his direction and saw him.

Jake swore beneath his breath as his gaze met Diamond’s. He suddenly felt the walls crashing in on him, tumbling his world as he knew it. His breath got lodged in his throat. Heat gripped his entire body. Waves of awareness washed over him. All these things were happening, it seemed, all at once. And it didn’t help matters that she looked so darn beautiful.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to breathe normally and to get control of himself. He tried not to notice how totally feminine she looked in a floral print sundress. And he sure as heck tried not to notice that she was wearing her hair differently. It was combed back in, of all things, a ponytail. And to make matters worse, it didn’t help any for her to look at him with such a warm smile on her lips. Especially when they were lips he now knew the taste of. If only he didn’t remember that.

“Hello, Jacob. It’s good seeing you again. How have you been?”

Infuriated with himself for letting her get next to him again, he folded his arms across his chest. “If you must know, ma’am,” he drawled with agitated politeness, “I haven’t been doing so hot. But thanks for asking.”

Diamond lifted her brow, and Jake saw a flash of comprehension form in her eyes. “Really, Jacob? Now isn’t that a coincidence. I haven’t been doing so hot myself.”

“Getting bored already?”

She smiled at him again—darn it. “I could never get bored here.”

Jake shook his head. He had heard that one before. “Well, don’t let me stop whatever the two of you were about to do. I’ll just run upstairs and take my shower.”

“I was about to take Diamond back to the cabin, Jake, but now that you’re here, maybe you could take her back. I need to get dinner started,” Blaylock said, reminding them of his presence.

Jake stared at Diamond for a second before making a decision. “Sure, why not. Are you ready to leave now, or can you wait until after I’ve showered?”

“I can wait.”

Nodding, Jake turned toward the stairs. “I’ll be back down in a half hour.”

“I didn’t mean to be a bother, Jacob.”

Jake had brought the Jeep to a stop in front of the cabin and instead of getting out, he had turned in his seat. He was staring at her, Diamond thought, and had even pushed his Stetson farther back on his head, away
from his eyes as if to get a better view. He had not said one word since leaving the ranch house. But he didn’t have to, she concluded. What she saw in his expression spoke volumes. Desire, hot desire, flared in his dark eyes, and the sparks from it flamed her all over and took her breath away.

Diamond tore her gaze away from his. The heat penetrating from his eyes had become unbearable. The woman in her recognized his need. It was surrounding her, entrenching her. The woman in her also recognized his resistance. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her. She understood. Deep down she didn’t want to have anything to do with him, either, but the attraction was too strong, too overwhelming for either of them. She had realized that fact two nights ago when he had kissed her. She had realized it again today when she had seen him for the first time since that night. Even with Blaylock in the room with them, they hadn’t been able to mask the heat, the wanting, the desire. When he had mentioned that he hadn’t been doing so hot, she had wanted to go to him, stroke away the hardness that had formed in his cheeks and then soften his grim mouth with her own.

Diamond sucked in air as she fought her senses from leaping someplace they should not.

Jake took a long, deep breath. He recognized his needs, too. Normally he took care of them. After Jessie, he had learned to keep his business interests, his personal life and physical needs separate. And Rhonda Henry made it easy for him to do just that. Rhonda wasn’t a city woman, but she wasn’t a country gal, either, although her father owned one of the largest horse ranches in Wyoming. Rhonda fitted nicely some
where in between. She could be as classy and sophisticated as she wanted to be one minute, then break in a horse or rope a steer better than any man the next. She was a woman on the move, a mover and a shaker who took her job as public relations administrator for her father’s prosperous horse-breeding business seriously.

She was a divorcée and was only four years younger than he. They had met a few years ago at a political fund-raiser in Washington for his friend, Senator Nedwyn Lansing. Like him, Rhonda wanted the separation of business, personal and physical. She didn’t want any strings attached and didn’t like men interfering with her affairs and knew not to interfere with theirs. Their relationship was one of physical needs only. Whenever they came together for their interludes, they met on what they considered neutral ground, keeping any place near their ranches out of the loop. When they got together, it was strictly for play, not work. There was no time or room for emotions. That’s the way she wanted it, and that’s the way he wanted it. And either could walk away at any given time. No hard feelings. No regrets.

If he were to get mixed up with Diamond, Jake admonished himself silently, there would be hard feelings and regrets. And there would be emotions to deal with. There was no way he could take anything lightly with this woman. Nor would there be any way he could keep things separate. He had a gut feeling that with Diamond it would be all or nothing. And that was something he did not want with any woman.

“It’s not going to work, Diamond,” he finally said.

Diamond knew exactly what Jake was referring to
and didn’t pretend otherwise. He was stating the obvious—the strong sexual attraction between them. She shook her head sadly. “I know.” She hesitated for a moment before saying, “But I don’t know how to stop it. You are quite a challenge, Jacob Madaris. I’ve never been faced with anything like this in my life.”

Jake nodded. Neither had he. He hadn’t been this hot for a woman in years, if ever.

“There has never been anyone I’ve felt such an attraction to, Jacob,” Diamond continued. “I know it won’t work. I know it’s even crazy to think otherwise. I didn’t come here for this. I came here for three weeks of rest and relaxation. Not three weeks of being in heat like one of your cows.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile at what she’d just said. He, in turn, had been just as bad. He’d been like a lusty bull who’d gotten the scent of that heat and wanted to mate.

Diamond saw his smile and frowned. “This isn’t funny, Jacob. Since we know it won’t work, what are we going to do?”

Jake’s smile widened as he studied her for a long spell. The woman was too open and too straightforward with her feelings. She wasn’t acting coy about anything or trying to place the blame at his feet. She was acknowledging that whatever was going on between them was mutual.

“I could say it’s just an overabundance of lust in our system, and one surefire way to get it out of there is one quick roll in the hay,” Jake finally said, his gaze still locked on hers. “But a part of me, Diamond, the part that’s aching right now, refuses to let me believe that anything I do with you can be quick.” He let his
gaze travel over her slowly. He saw her watching his eyes, knowing she saw the heat and the desire in them. Then he saw hers darken likewise. In addition to his ache, he suddenly felt this horrendous pull in his gut. That need he’d recognized earlier became fierce and took his senses away.

“I want you,” he said, following her lead by being open and straightforward. “I want you, too much to be quick. I’d want to savor the moment, to feed on it and prolong it. I doubt very seriously if I’d be able to stop with having you just once. I’d want you again and again and again.”

Jake’s voice had the honesty and sensuous warmth Diamond wasn’t ready for. The texture of his words, as well as the words themselves, seeped through to the very core of her. Her body became electrified, sensitive and achy to his words. In her mind, she saw them rolling in the hay. And like him she didn’t see them being quick about it. She saw him taking his time and making slow, hot, unadulterated love to her. She saw his body mating with hers over and over again, taking no time out in between to rest, using all his strength, all his physical exertions, his keen focus and abundance of energy to pleasure her.

“Jacob, I—”

Diamond didn’t finish what she was about to say. Jake didn’t let her. He leaned over and captured her mouth with the heat of his. Effortlessly lifting her from her seat into his lap, he continued to kiss her. His tongue entered her mouth, mating with hers, generating more heat. The kiss grew hotter, urgent.

Jake knew he should pull back, but when his hand touched her breasts, all thoughts of ending the kiss left
him. Even through the material of her dress, her breasts were a perfect fit in the palm of his hand. It was as if they were made for him. He heard her groan in his mouth when his fingertips touched them. He deepened the kiss, wanting and needing to feed off her groans and her moans.

Aching for more torture, he reached down to the hem of her dress and lifted it up partway. He needed to touch her thighs, he wanted to feel the heat and the need in her. But first, he had to breathe. He was dying a suffocating death of mind-killing arousal. He suddenly broke off the kiss, his breathing forced, labored, exerted.

Jake knew he had to do something to regain control of his mind and his senses. If he stayed around her any longer, there would be no choice in the matter. He would be tasting her everywhere, he would be making love to her each and every day she remained on the ranch. He wouldn’t give any thoughts to Whispering Pines. His only thoughts would be to stay inside her body, mating with her, seeing her features flushed with his heat, knowing that the skin covering her body was entrenched in his scent.

He knew that getting involved with Diamond would demand all that he had, and he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let his lust for a woman be this strong, this addictive. Even with Rhonda it wasn’t like this. It didn’t even come close. He hadn’t seen Rhonda in over eight months, and he hadn’t felt a potent urge to call her. He hadn’t experienced such raw longing until Diamond’s arrival on Whispering Pines. Somehow he had to fight this pull, this overwhelming urge.

Taking another deep breath, Jake pulled Diamond’s
dress down and gently lifted her out of his lap and placed her back in her seat. Without saying another word, he opened his side of the vehicle, got out and walked around to hers. Opening her door, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the door and placed her on her feet.

The light on the porch created an intimacy neither of them needed right now. He stepped back, knowing he couldn’t dare touch her again. He kept his gaze steady with hers, trying not to notice her lips, swollen and moist from his kiss, and the longing and wanting that were still in her eyes.

“Do you want me to leave Whispering Pines?”

Her whispered question broke the quiet stillness of the night. “No,” he whispered, when deep down he knew he should be saying yes. “No, I don’t want you to leave. What I want is for us to know that it will never work.”