Secret Worlds (350 page)

“We’ll see about that. You’ve got five minutes to rest up for round two.” I found my happy place, snuggling up next to him, and ran my fingers through his small patch of chest hair. I listened to the rushing beat of his heart and let my mind wander.

He was such a good man. What would happen if I said no? Would I lose him forever? Being a werewolf was not in my life plan. Being the mate of an Alpha. What would that mean for my future? What about my dreams? I’d wanted to go back to school and finish my Masters. Would I be allowed to do that if I turned? Would I be forced to have puppies and be a stay-at-home den mother? How did that work, anyway? So many questions.

“You’re doing it again.” Concern dulled the timbre of Aiden’s voice.

“What?”

“You reek of anxiety. What’s on your mind?”

“I’m just thinking about what you asked me. I’m not trying cause problems with us, but I just don’t know about going through with the transition.”

Aiden went silent, but his heart beat began to race. I listened to the thundering rumble deep in his chest.

“I love you, Aiden, but I’m happy as a human.”

“Babe, you don’t have to change for me.” His words sounded forced, as if he was choking out the emotions behind them. “I’m not going to make you become something you do not want to be.”

“But what does that mean for you, or for us? What about the pack?”

Again he fell silent, but his heartbeat betrayed him.

“Now I know you’re hiding something,” I said.

He let out a sigh. “It’s complicated.”

“How complicated could it be? If I stay human, you still have a mate.”

“You’re not able to fully participate in the pack.”

“What do you mean? I’m already participating. I’ve been here every single day since I arrived in Boston, working on your computers, upgrading systems. I’m practically the network administrator.”

“It … it’s not enough … for them, not for me.”

“You mean because I can’t sprout a fur coat, hunt, and have puppies, right?”

“Yes. Children.” He said the word poignantly. “Werewolf children are a requirement to ensure propagation of the species, but it’s not the only requirement to be an Alpha. Don’t worry about it, Babe. Just drop it. It’s my issue to deal with.”

“Hardly. We’re together. This is our relationship.”

“Yes, and your decision puts a strain on my way of life.” He couldn’t hide the accusation and pain in his voice. “That is something I have to deal with. Please, just drop this for now.”

His heart beat raced faster than a stallion at the Kentucky Derby. Things weren’t so cut and dried. This was a much more serious issue than he was letting on. I wished I knew more about werewolf politics.

“Sure, baby.” I tried to sound light and happy. “Four more minutes and you’re back on again.”

“Look at you, ordering me around. You’d make quite the Alpha Female.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m going to go take a shower first.”

“Sure.”
Why
didn’t he ask me to join him?

“I’ll be back.” He scooted out of the bed and made a quick dash to the bathroom door.

I retrieved my sweatshirt and pants and tossed them on. To get to the bottom of this I’d need to talk to another wolf, and I knew just the one to grill for information. If Aiden wouldn’t tell me what he was hiding, his brother might.

After pulling on my slippers, I padded into the hallway and headed to Brady’s room.

Light blazed under the door, a good sign that he was still awake.
Probably winding down from the hunt.
I knocked lightly on the door.

“I’m busy, Fallon.” Brady shouted.

Damn those wolves and their sense of smell.

“It’s kind of important. Do you have a minute?”

I heard a woman giggling from behind the door.

Oh. That kind of busy.
“Never mind.” Guess Aiden wasn’t the only one who got frisky after a hunt.

The lock clicked on his door and Brady opened it wearing nothing but a smile. “What do you need?” He sounded amused.

“Seriously, never mind. I didn’t know you had company.” I averted my eyes, but it was hard to find a spot to look that wasn’t hard bodied naked man. Nakedness was not something that bothered the wolves. Not that I was a prude, but I had not gotten used to how freely they showed their bodies. Around the full moon revelry it was like a furry nudist colony at the preserve. I settled for looking at Brady’s dirty blond hair, since looking a wolf in the eyes was seen as a sign of challenge.

Brady chuckled, probably at my appearance: slippers, fuzzy socks and my bright red UNLV sweatshirt. “Is this about the heater?”

“Do you really think I’d bug you about that right now?” I crossed my arms and frowned.

“No,” he laughed. “Knowing you, you probably have a plan to get me back.”

“Bingo!” I pointed a finger at him and winked.

“So, what’s up?” Brady leaned in the doorframe, still not bothering to cover up his nakedness. It was really hard not to inadvertently sneak a peek, and I was sure I was beginning to turn bright red.

I bit my lip to hide a smile trying to spread across my face and turned away. “Nothing. Go back to your fun. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

Brady called over his shoulder to the woman in his room. “Diana, take off, love. I’ll stop by your cabin later.”

An Amazon woman, wearing just enough clothing to fit the part, snarled at me as she walked past.

“Show a little respect.” Brady’s tone became dangerous. “You know who she is.”

“She’s not pack,” Diana said to Brady as she headed down the hallway.

Brady reached out, grabbed her by the shoulder, and spun her around. “She’s Aiden’s, and you will give her the respect she is due … now!”

Diana’s hazel eyes widened. She gulped and then bowed her head. “Sorry, Fallon.”

Reluctance was prominent in her voice, though she wasn’t looking at me as she spoke. Her words were directed toward Brady.

“Now go back to your cabin,” Brady growled.

With a curt nod, she turned and continued down the hall toward the front lobby.

The whole thing made me feel embarrassed. I didn’t need Brady drawing any unwanted attention to me, especially when I’d been trying to win the pack members over in the hopes they’d accept me as I was. “Really, you didn’t have to do that.”

“She’ll be fine.” He shrugged. “Just needed a little reminder of the pecking order around here. Some of the ladies have been hot under the collar about you.”

“Yeah, I got that feeling while I was making my rounds checking computers. I’ve been playing it nice with everyone, maybe win them over with kindness.”

Brady smirked. “That’s not the way to win the hearts and minds of the pack. You need to show them who’s boss.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way, but Brady had a point. “Guess I’d better start pulling rank then.”

“Not sure you have it in you, but I’d like to see you try.” He patted my head like a pup.

I scrunched up my face in disgust and backed away.

That just made Brady smile more. That man loved to get me riled up.

He crossed his arms and leaned into the doorframe again. “I know why you’re here. Aiden told you about the deadline, didn’t he?”

“That’s news to me. There’s a deadline?” Now it was my turn to give him a wide-eyed stare.

His jaw tightened. Guess he didn’t want to be the one to let that information slip.

“Aiden didn’t tell you that part, did he? Where is he, anyway?”

“In the shower. Don’t change the subject. What deadline?”

“Look. I like you, Fallon. I really do. You’re great for my brother. But if Aiden’s bid for the title of Alpha is going to be accepted, he has to have a mate capable of having wolf children. And he needs to take that mate now.”

This whole purebred wolf children thing was really beginning to get on my nerves. It seemed to me that all the pack cared about was kids, and I was only to be used for breeding. My annoyance got the better of me, and I couldn’t rein back the tension in my voice. “What does it matter if I can have children with him or not?”

“Pure wolf children are essential for pack stability. They are stronger and live longer than
turned
wolves. They often become the next Alphas, or move on to start other packs, and ensure our species continues.”

“But you’re a pure wolf.” I jabbed a finger at him. “You could take a mate and make pure babies for the pack.”

“True.” Brady shrugged. “But I don’t want the title of Alpha. And I do not want kids!”

“But you’re pure and the son of the former Alpha as well.”

He shook his head emphatically. “No way! I’m an enforcer, a fighter, and a bodyguard. That’s who I am. I make a good
second
, but I don’t want the responsibility or the Alpha’s title. That’s where Aiden has always excelled. He’s destined for this job. He’ll take the pack far. If …” He narrowed his eyes at me.

The pressure was enough to make me crack. I was getting it from all angles. Turn for Aiden, turn for the pack, or leave. Those were the only options.

“This is ridiculous.” I threw my hands up in frustration. “Isn’t there any way for them to just accept me as I am? Aiden will be a great leader now, but I need time to consider what’s being asked of me. This isn’t a simple decision. It’s a life-or-death choice. It’s, it’s …”

“It’s unfair, I get that.” Brady patted me on the shoulder. Beneath his hard exterior, there was a compassionate man. Every now and again I caught hints of it hiding within the deep chocolate pools of his eyes.

“This is the way the pack works,” he said. “We have strong traditions that have served us well for centuries. Just know that if you won’t take that title, there are plenty of pack females who will. Any female would jump at the chance to be the Alpha’s mate.”

I cringed at the thought of another woman touching my Aiden.

Brady softened his tone. “I know this is hard to hear, but Aiden must choose his mate before he can officially take the title. It’s already been too long. Connor …” his voice cracked and his mouth drooped. The pain of his father’s death was still too close for him to hide the suffering. “Father’s death was more than a month ago, and our members are growing restless to regain order. If he doesn’t take a mate by the next moon, one will be chosen for him. Or, if worse comes to worst, another wolf might step up to claim the title.”

I didn’t like the sound of that at all.

Brady regained composure. “We both know Aiden is destined for the job. But, if he abdicates his claim to the title, then it becomes a free-for-all. All eligible males would be pitted against each other to fight for the title. The pack would descend into anarchy. Aiden is not going to see the remainder of this pack destroyed by power plays.”

“So the only two ways this works is either I agree to the transition now, or I watch my love take another woman as mate?”

Brady nodded. “That’s the bottom line.”

“You’ve said it yourself: The transition is only a fifty-fifty shot. What if I choose to try it and die?” Beyond the fact that once I became wolf, I’d be expected to be a den mother as well, I feared the risk of death in the transition. I may have come from Las Vegas, but I was not a gambling girl. Especially with odds like those.

Brady shrugged. “I don’t mean to sound heartless. I really do like you, and I think you’d make a pretty cool wolf. But considering what’s at stake, even if you don’t make it, isn’t love worth the risk?”

Was it? I couldn’t quite answer that. Yes, I loved Aiden. Yes, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And yes, I wanted to see him become Alpha. But I didn’t want to die.

I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words to say.

“Let me put it to you this way.” Brady spoke before I found my voice. “If you don’t make the choice and Aiden walks away from the pack to be with you, a dominance war will be started. Those aren’t pretty.” He narrowed his eyes at me and leaned in close. “Do you know how wolves settle their differences? We fight to the death. Think about the pack, not just yourself. If you’re not going to make the transition, then dump Aiden altogether and walk away. Don’t give him a reason to follow you. There’s more than just your life at stake.”

“Brady,” Aiden shouted from the end of the hallway. Both of our heads whipped around in his direction. The scowling expression on Aiden’s face said it all. He was pissed. He held tight to a blue towel wrapped around his waist and stalked towards us. “I told you not to say anything.”

Brady held his hands up and took a half step backwards. “Look, bro, she came to talk to me. She needs to know. You’re running out of time, and the pack needs leadership.”

“What she needed was to make the decision on her own, with no pressure. You’ve ruined that now.”

“
She
is standing right here. Don’t talk about me like I’m not.”

Both men lowered their heads and looked at me sheepishly. Even though I was angry, I had to admit, to myself, that it was pretty cool to have such powerful men bowing like that.
Maybe I could consider being an Alpha Female after all.

I grabbed Aiden by the arm. “Let’s go to bed, baby. We can deal with this in the morning.” I turned to Brady. “Thanks for the talk.”

“You got it.” Brady nodded and turned back to his room.

Aiden opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “I don’t want to talk now. Please, let’s just go to bed.”

He let me pull him down the hall toward our room.

What was I thinking? I can’t do this.
I tossed and turned. Brady’s advice had really hit me hard.

Aiden stirred next to me. I knew if I kept this up I’d wake him for sure, and I wasn’t ready to have the conversation with him.

Was I being selfish? I didn’t want to attempt the transition for many reasons; most of all, the fifty percent survival rate. But more than that, I liked being a human. It’s who I am and all I’ve ever been. I love Aiden, but I guess that means I love myself a little more
.

What a painful thought.

Everything was moving too fast for me. Ever since I had learned of the supernatural world, my life had become all about them: vampires, wolves, witches, and the hunters of the Acta Sanctorum. Not a moment had passed in these last few months that hadn’t involved something supernatural and life-threatening. Somehow I had gotten caught in the middle of it all. There were the perks, like meeting Aiden, but I’d only known him for a few months. And he was asking for more than a lifetime’s worth of commitment to not just him but the pack as well. That was huge.