Secret Worlds (412 page)

There’s nothing non-descript about the man regarding me in return, however. His eyes are pale blue, almost white, and the black rims of his irises emphasise the weird colour. He’s pale with long, dark hair touching his shoulders, angular cheekbones and a wide mouth currently curled into a half-smile.

Smoothing his hair, he surveys the room and occupants, resting his scrutiny on me. “Well, I’m glad you were here, Rose,” he says with a hint of a European accent and a smirk. “Your energy was a big help. Thank you.”

“What have you done to Alek?” I ask.

“He’ll be okay if you give him a little something.” He taps long fingers against his chin. “Oh, no, you can’t, I took all yours. I guess you’ll have to find another source. Any humans live here?”

I stare down at Alek’s pale face, my hair falling forward and hiding my own.

The man cocks his head. “I can’t detect any. Maybe you can go and find him one?”

“What? No!” I struggle to stand and manage to make it as far as the sofa. “Who are you?”

The man opens his mouth to respond, but Finn interrupts. “Dante.”

Dante stiffens when he sees Finn leaning against the wall in the corner. “What the hell? How the fuck is an angel here?” He looks down to Alek. “He was supposed to get rid of you. Jesus, I just can’t get the staff these days.”

He crosses to Finn who remains motionless. What Dante lacks in height against Finn, he makes up for in presence. “But you’re not quite an angel, are you? What happened? Were you a naughty boy?”

“You’re here now. Leave,” Finn says icily.

Dante looks between the three of us then addresses Finn. “You were here when Alek came through? Why didn’t you kill him before I found my way out?”

I know why. Finn briefly glances at me then away again. Because of how I feel about Alek, Finn let whoever this guy is loose?

Dante steps back, tugging his eyebrows together. “You,” he points at me. “You’re part of him.” He points to Finn. “But you care about him.” He pokes Alek with his foot.

“Leave him alone!” I snap.

“Awkward,” he says, ignoring me with a laugh, “Unless they share you?”

“Get out,” growls Finn.

“I have a lot to catch up on; I suppose I should be going. I’d love to stay for a chat, but people are expecting me.” He rubs his bare arms. “It’s a bit chilly. Does Alek have a spare jacket I could borrow?”

I gape at him. “Jacket? You’ve half-killed him!”

“Oh, calm down, sweetness. He’ll be okay.” He tips his head side to side, loosening his shoulders. “No jacket, then?”

Finn steps toward Dante. “Out.”

“Yup.”

The space Dante stood empties, the same as when Kat disappeared. With him, he takes the rest of the energy in the room, I lie down, aware that without touching me he took the remainder of my energy, as well. Finn moves across the room quickly and kneels in front of me as I lie on the sofa, fighting to keep my eyes open against the fog.

Alek’s right. Dante is killing me.

“Rose, concentrate. You’ll be okay. Stay awake.” I’m transported back to the night in the alleyway, the day Alek kissed me and told me what I was, and I focus on Finn’s concerned face, knowing unconsciousness will send me to the Void. I’m torn - if I went, I could end all this for a simpler limbo than the one I’m in.

“Can I come out now?” Kat’s trembling voice carries from the hallway. “And please tell me I’m high.”

Finn turns to the door; without his eyes to focus on, I dig my nail into my palms. “Yes, it’s safe and no, you’re not high.”

“I saw…all of that. Is that guy another ghost? Or is he one of you?” She looks at Alek’s prone body. “Is this dude dead now?”

I choke back a sob as Finn says, “No. He’s very sick. So is Rose. You have to help them.”

“Me? What can I do? I’m a ghost, remember,” she says sarcastically.

“Give him mouth to mouth,” he replies.

“Umm…No! I don’t know First Aid. Can’t you do it?” she asks Finn.

“No. Impossible.”

My chest twinges as I make a small laugh at the nurse refusing to resuscitate. Finn hasn’t told her about the energy transfer, about how she’ll return to the Void if she does this.

Kat crosses her arms over her chest. “I won’t. I don’t want to touch him! I don’t want anything to do with any of you.”

“Okay.” Finn moves behind the sofa and I hear the clicking of the front door opening. “Stay here. They’ll disappear in half an hour or so, and you’ll be trapped here alone. I won’t come back.”

I’m only able to keep one eye open and I focus on Kat, who straightens and rushes at Finn. “No! I can’t get out; I’ll starve!”

“You can’t starve; you’re a ghost,” he retorts.

The door creaks as he begins to close it. “No! Fuck, okay. Just mouth to mouth, right?”

The world swims in and out of focus, breath crushed from my lungs as I cling to consciousness. Kat stands over Alek, squeezing her fists open and shut and inhaling, the way I’ve seen people do on reality TV shows when they’re told they have to eat a gross local delicacy. As she leans over, black hair sweeping his face, my struggle against the fog ends.

***

The black and white world of the house returns, fading in and out the same as when I was conscious. The room is empty now; nothing else exists in the Void parallel to this part of the world. Absently, I wonder why I haven’t ended up in the waiting rooms from last time. Did I skip that part this time? How? Like last time, I’m drawn to the room upstairs.

I don’t get far. This time, I don’t wake up soaked by a glass of water but by Alek’s mouth on mine. Snapping my eyes open, I stare straight into his expressionless ones. The energy crackles between us, weaker than usual but tangible still. There’s no urge to kiss him back, my weakened body able to take what he’s giving me and no more.

Alek pulls his mouth from mine and steps away. “I can’t give her anymore,” he says flatly. Finn is sitting in the armchair opposite and to my surprise, Kat still exists. She’s on the floor, back pressed against the wall, looking round with her usual wide-eyed confusion. “You should’ve listened and left. All of you.”

“I think you’ll find I can’t,” retorts Kat.

“And you should be grateful I left you some energy so you’re not back in the Void,” Alek replies.

I push myself up, filled with relief and ready to speak to him but without looking at me, Alek turns toward the hallway. Seconds later, his familiar, heavy footsteps climb the stairs.

“He left,” I say, to myself more than the two others in the room. “Why did he walk away?”

“He’s angry,” says Kat, quietly. “I felt it from him when he…” She rubs her mouth and grimaces. “Yeah.”

I look at my shaking hands, at the pale nail beds and know Alek is angry with me. He has every reason to be. The trembling extends through my body, the weakness remains. A hunger I never felt before gnaws.

“I’ll stay, Rose,” Finn says softly. “I’ll help, until Alek is ready to.”

“What if he never is?” What if he returns to his solitude and pain? How can any of us know what this has done to him?

Dragging myself to my feet, I stumble to the stairs and hang onto the handrail as I haul myself up. Alek’s music breaks the tense silence of the house, the deafening 90s indie rock I’ve been subjected to for weeks.

Either he can’t hear me when I hammer on his door or he’s ignoring me.

There’s a silent pause between tracks. I yell his name and bang, but he doesn’t respond, so I slump down and rest against the wall by his door. I wait for an hour, dozing until Finn comes up the stairs and tells me to go to bed. The world stayed in colour when I was half-asleep and didn’t retreat into the greys of the Void so I agree, too exhausted to worry about Finn and Kat or what happens next.

ROSE

The chamomile tea steams around my face as I hold the mug close, warming my nose. The streets are silent in the early hours, and I’m cold beneath my flannel pyjamas. I’ve waited for half an hour, maybe Alek won’t come tonight. In the early days, this became a semi-ritual - me and my chamomile tea, Alek and his beer. But the early days are gone.

Footsteps descend the stairs, and my stomach flips in anticipation. Alek appears in the doorway dressed in grey sweats and a grey T-shirt, and his well-practiced neutral expression masks his emotions. I watch him from over the top of my mug, willing him not to turn and leave again. Huffing, he pulls a beer from the fridge and sits opposite me. We drink, regarding each other quietly for a minute.

“Are you okay?” I ask him eventually.

“Fine, thanks, Casper.”

The irritation at him using that nickname melds with a sick feeling - he’s pushed me out. “Alek…”

“If you mean am I still a demonic creature, then yeah, I am.” He swigs.

“I don’t care. So am I. The only thing bothering me is if you’re okay after what happened.”

Alek flicks his tongue against his teeth. “We’re not the same, Rose. I thought we were, but we’re not.”

“Because I was created by Finn?” I ask quietly. “We always knew that.”

“Perhaps, I didn’t fully understand what that meant until someone spelled it out. You’re more him than me.” He sets the bottle down. “Literally.”

Reaching across the table, I curl my hand around his. “You’re important to me.”

He pulls his hand away. “Yeah? Is that why you left me?”

“I panicked.”

He snorts softly. “Panicked.”

“Yes, Alek, panicked. A logical reaction to a demon threatening me, don’t you think?”

“Whatever, Casper.” He stands and picks up his beer.

I stand, too, and move around the table.. “Don’t close me out; tell me what happened. After Dante arrived, I thought you’d died…gone.”

“I did what I was asked, debt paid.” He gulps his beer.

“What debt?”

He stares past me at the kitchen window. “My sister. And I’m not saying any more.”

I ache to reach out to him, but he’s coiled tight in defence and I can’t fathom his mood.
Does he hate me now?

“What now?” I whisper.

“Oh, he’ll probably populate the world with demons, that kind of thing.”

“I didn’t mean that, Alek. I meant with us and in our life.”

“
Our
life?” He gives a short laugh. “You showed me there’s no us when you ran to your angel.”

“I didn’t run to him! I ran through a door and he was there!”

“To pick you up and make everything better with his shiny energy,” he says harshly.

“What the hell? Alek, don’t be like that about Finn. He has his reasons, but there are no feelings between us. He can’t even touch me! And he’s not you! I care about you a hell of a lot!”

“Well, he didn’t kill you, so you must mean something to him!” Alek shouts back.

The urge to fight this, to push through his barriers and have him open up, takes over. He doesn’t get to walk away from this, not after everything we’ve been through.

“Everything is so simple to you, isn’t it? Locked in your own world for years; you haven’t got a clue how to deal with things not being black and white.”

Alek drains the contents of the bottle, chest rising and falling rapidly, and I tense. I’ve pushed too far. He slams the bottle on the kitchen bench and glares. “I bargained with demons to save my sister’s soul! Of course my view of the world is warped! You’re the one with the fucking problem, thinking you’re still living a human life! You’re fucking dead, Rose. Resurrected into a vampire, and by an angel. How fucked-up is that?”

“Don’t talk to me like that!” I shove him in the chest; it’s not the swearing, but the truth in his words that upset me.

“Leave me alone!” He spins around.

I squeeze past him and stand in the doorway. “You don’t get to leave!”

Alek looks down at me, and for the first time ever, something in his demeanour is a genuine threat. “
You
did.”

“And I let Finn bring me back! Not for him, for you! Because you came for me, you helped me. You’re the one person who understands what I am, what life will always be like. I made the choice between an eternity trapped alone in the Void or one struggling here with you.” I slam both my hands into his chest. “Don’t you dare close me out!”

Alek rubs his hand across his mouth and lets go of the guarded expression. His eyes are pained, breathing rapid, but not because of anger anymore. He slumps against the wall, letting go.

Hesitantly, I touch his face. “Alek. Are you really okay?”

“I don’t know. I don’t feel any different after…Dante. I’m tired, hungry…”

I squeeze back the tears in my eyes. “So am I; I never have been before.”

His face softens. “Shit. Really?”

“Yes, shit, really. We need to feed and have nothing to give to each other.”

Alek takes my hand from his face and squeezes my fingers. “But we have each other, right?”

I nod, biting back tears. He winds an arm around my waist to pull me closer. I rest my head against the defined muscles of his chest, against the heart that beats inside someone not human. Someone like me. I tip my head and press my lips against Alek’s, waiting for the jolt. There’s nothing, just the buzz of putting my mouth on someone I ache to kiss. His arms tighten around my waist and he pushes his mouth against mine, soft at first and then harder as he holds me closer. With no energy to share and nothing to give, we’re reduced to two weakened people finding strength in each other’s embrace. But nothing Alek does in his life is gentle. He grabs my face in both hands, deepening his kiss and tearing my breath away the way he once tore my energy.

I sink into him, into our desperate kisses, wishing we could always be enclosed in each other and lost in our corner of this crazy world, instead of the reality we’re in. The genuine affection and comfort is at odds with the overriding need to consume each other physically. This new bond has followed us from our frightening journey to the edge of the Void and if we allow it, we’ve come back stronger.

Low voices travel from the lounge room. Kat is talking to Finn. I hadn’t considered they might still be in the house. I draw away from Alek and indicate we should go into the other room. Alek releases me and we go to the others. Finn looks between us in surprise but says nothing. Kat has taken residence under a blanket on the sofa and is intently watching TV.