Secrets (9 page)

Oh yeah, her tough sarcastic cover was back
in place. No problem, he’d been dealing with
this
Chastity
for years. He crossed his arms and tilted his head. “No doubt, that
was an asshole move and I apologize, but I came back four years ago
and you never mentioned anything.”

Her facial features sharpened, thinning her
full lips to half their size. “Apologize?” she snorted. “Keep it.
You came here that night broken, on the verge of collapse,
distraught over your fiancé being pregnant by some other man. You
were barely coherent and could hardly stand. What was I supposed to
say? Oh, forget about
her
kid, you have two of your own?”
Her face twisted in disgust. “I don’t think so. You did what men
always do. Leave. Carry on with your own selfish plans. You didn’t
think twice about what we did that night. You got your rocks off,
and the next morning you ran so fast, all I saw was dust following
your ass. You are not the damn victim here,” she hissed, her eyes
narrowed at him.

The force of her words slammed into him.
There was nowhere to hide from the truth, so he accepted her words
and let them whip his ass. He’d been a coward, not once but twice.
He hadn’t asked how she’d fared, because he was afraid of the
answer. Afraid she'd been disappointed once they'd done the deed
and would tell him to stay away. He'd been too ashamed to face
her.

Rational thought always took a holiday
around her, he constantly second guessed himself. In retrospect, he
should've bitten the bullet and returned to the ranch. They
could've talked, he should've told her how he felt about her then.
Fear, sharp and crisp, had prevented him from opening up. Chastity
March was his Achilles heel. No one could hurt his heart like this
slip of a woman. So, he'd avoided her, even asked another woman to
marry him knowing he wasn't in love with her. It wasn't a sterling
moment in his life. His pride had taken a hit, but rallied when
Chas had opened the door and her arms four years ago. That
presented an interesting point; a question niggled in the corner of
his mind.

“If you felt that way, why’d you have sex
with me the second time?”

“I already told you,” she snapped, wrapping
her arms around her waist, turning from him and pacing the length
of the long desk.

Slowly, he shook his head running through
her accusations in his mind. “No, you talked about the condition I
was in, but not why you let me back into your bed. Not that I’m
complaining, I’m just curious if you hated me as much as it sounds
like you did.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t like me.”

“No. I don’t,” she agreed.

That hurt. He changed the conversation.
“Thank you for having my babies.”

“I didn't do it for you,” she snapped.

Inside his smile broadened. “Maybe not
directly, but I thank you all the same for taking such good care of
the boys.” He moved closer, eying the fast rise and fall of her
chest.

“Stop it.” She yelled. “Just stop acting
like you care.”

His eyes gravitated down her high, round ass
and long legs. Life from his seed once filled her flat stomach and
he’d missed all of it. Damn. He wished his uncle
had
kicked
his ass, at least he would’ve known about his family earlier.
Chastity was his, he'd always felt that way. Now, he’d never let
her go. His evening brightened at the thought.

“Chas?”

“What?”

“Why’d you let me back in your bed?” He
stepped closer. She eyed his movement. He stopped and stared down
at her.

She gave a loud exaggerated sigh.
“Because…because you seemed so lost. So hurt that night. You were
talking out of your head, saying wild stuff like you didn’t think
you were a man, you weren’t good enough, no one wanted you, that
kind of crap. It struck a chord inside me. I wanted to comfort you.
Truthfully, sex never entered my mind. We just talked and things
got heated from there.”

“You felt sorry for me.”
A pity fuck
,
the realization of what they’d shared hit hard.

“You felt sorry for me,” she threw back at
him. “Just now, you pitied me and tried to comfort me.”

“Jesus woman, it’s not the same. Don’t you
dare compare what happened between us those two times to what
happened to you! Those assholes raped you as a child. They stole
something from you. No one deserves that. I wish I could turn back
the clock and save you from their abuse, but I can’t. The only
thing I can do is offer comfort from your past, protect you now,
and help secure your future.”

She gave him her back. “Why're you trying to
make this into a big deal, you don't even remember that first
time.”

Indignant, he straightened his spine. “You
don't know what you're talking about,” he growled, spinning her
around to face him. Her eyes widened. “This
is
a big deal
for me. For the first time in years, I'm close to having what I've
always wanted. You know what, I'm glad you had my babies, it
should've been you.”

“You're crazy; four years ago you probably
told your fiancé the same thing.” She stepped back.

“No. I've never said that to anyone else.”
He stared at her a moment. The woman was clueless to his feelings
for her. That was his fault and he planned to correct it. “It's
always been you, Chas. Always.” As far as he was concerned, they’d
both messed up. Despite her excuses, she should've told him about
his kids. Now wasn't the time for that discussion, but they'd
address it later, like after their tenth anniversary.

“Stop lying. You've been with a lot of
women.”

“Not really. But they didn't mean anything.
Like I said, it's always been you.” He exhaled. He was scared
shitless, but he had to do it. They needed the air clear between
them. “And if I'd had any idea that you cared for me, any at all, I
wouldn’t have wasted everyone’s time.”

“Are you...are you saying it's my fault?”
Her voice rose an octave. “All of this is my fault? You can't keep
it in your pants and I'm the one wrong.” Backing up, she pointed at
him. “You've lost your mind. You know that.” She moved to pass him.
He grabbed her around the waist, spun her around so her ass rubbed
against his groin. The moan caught in his throat, she felt so
good.

“I'm not crazy.” He held her tight against
him as her arms flailed wild. “Stop, Chas, you're going to hurt
yourself.” She tried to kick him. He squeezed her tighter. “Listen,
she-cat. If you'd paid me any attention at all, gave me any
indication you liked me, the only person I would've been engaged to
is you. That's all I'm saying.”

She stopped struggling. “I didn't like you,”
she huffed.

“Yes you did.”

She turned and looked at him. Her breath
evened out while she looked at him with a what-the-hell expression
on her face. “Now you're telling me what I feel? Who I like? What's
next?”

Ignoring her question, he reminded her of
the day of his commitment. “You took my promise ring.”

“What? I didn't,” she sputtered.

Turning her to face him, he hauled her
closer; the tips of her breast grazed his chest as she looked up at
him. “When I gave you my large purple cat-eyed marble.” She stared
a moment and burst out laughing. His heart hammered in his chest at
the twinkle in her eyes. The woman's beauty touched off so many
sparks inside him, he felt wonderfully alive.

“You're crazy. You were what,
thirteen-years-old at the time?”

Pleased she remembered, he corrected her.
“No, I was fifteen, you were twelve. A marble, especially a purple
cat-eye, is the equivalent of a promise ring in every society.”
Sobering, he gazed in her darkened eyes. “Tell me I messed up by
not calling you, or that I'm a jerk for allowing my pride to
override my common sense. But never tell me I don't remember what
we shared those two nights.”

She tried to pull back. Shaking his head, he
pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. Leaning back, he smiled.
“You have a birthmark over your left butt cheek in the shape of a
bird or dragon; I was scared it’d break the mood if I took too much
time to examine it.” He winked at the look of surprise on her face.
“Your long, toned legs cradled me tight between your thighs, we fit
perfectly. Your breasts fill my hands, just the right size. Your
cream tastes better than my favorite dessert. I licked my fingers
long after I left the ranch, trying to find remnants of you. Your
unique fragrance is engraved on my mind, your touch the standard
everyone else is judged by.” He finished in a rush, his face on
fire as he blurted his secret thoughts. “Like I said, tell me I'm
an ass for not knowing about my kids, or for asking a woman I
didn't love to marry me. But never tell me I don't remember what we
shared, they are two of the most important events in my life and
I'll never, ever forget them.”

The look of shock on her face was priceless.
Taking advantage of her condition, he pulled her close and kissed
her. Nibbling on her lower lip, he bit down lightly before he slid
in his tongue.
Home
. His hand held her head steady as he
reacquainted himself with the woman who'd taken possession of his
heart years ago. She was the mother of his children and would soon
be his wife.

It took a moment for her to respond. Her
arms wrapped around him tight as she chased his tongue and nibbled
on his lips. Chest heaving, she pushed him back. Her hand touched
her lips, a look of wonder on her face. Her eyes dropped from his,
she looked around the room like a lost kid before glancing at him.
Slow, he reminded himself.

“Like I said, it's always been you.” He left
the room, his cock hard and aching.

.

Chapter
8

“No. No, stop it” she screamed. “I don’t
want you to touch me, please leave me alone.” Whimpering, she
rolled her head from side to side, caught in the grip of her
nightmare. Large, sweaty hands reached for her. She ducked and
tried to run, but couldn’t move. Her legs were tied to the bed. Her
feet kicked as the dark head leaned toward her stomach. Absent of
face, her mind filled in their features, magnifying them in her
mind. Monsters, all of them. Men with wedding bands, ministerial
collars, old, fat, tall and skinny, they all leered at her.
Laughing as she struggled to break the bonds holding her captive.
Pain unraveled from the top of her head to her loins. Shaking from
the sudden cold locking her joints, she opened her mouth in a
silent scream of denial. They wouldn't win this time. A voice from
her darkest nightmares stole her breath.

“
C’mon Gypsy baby. I brought you some
chocolate candies. I know you like them. Be a good girl, touch me
the way I like it and I’ll give ’em to you.
” The fetid smell of
his breath made her gag. Ineffectively, she tried to push him
away.

“
Don’t bite me. Take care with those
teeth. I’ll beat your ass if you hurt my cock
.”

“
Bitch
.”

She cried aloud as the belt flayed her
tender skin. Fire ran down her nerve endings as she tried to escape
the memories of her beatings.

“
You broke her arm. That’s going to cost
you more
.”

“
I’ll pay. She’s worth it. Clean her up
for next time
.”

“No. No. No.” She screamed. “Stop. No
more.”

A hand touched her shoulder. She swung.

“Chastity. Chastity.” Both her hands were
secured, she couldn’t move them. Oh hell no. She swung around and
tried to lash out with her feet. A grunt and then a weight landed
on top of her. Warm flesh, fast heartbeat, pinned, helpless, she
couldn’t budge, the memory looped. Gulping in air, her mouth
opened, her brain focused on getting help.

“Chastity! Wake the fuck up.” The snarl
boomed into her ear.

She froze. Chest heaving, she peeled her
eyes open and groaned. A semi-naked Kenton lay across her, holding
her hands above her head.

“I’m…I’m okay. Get up.” She mumbled near his
bare chest.

He peered at her in the darkened room and
released her hands. “You hit my arm, that’s why I had to hold you
down. I’m sorry about that, but the surgery’s only a few weeks
old.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry— “

The overhead light flashed on and two pints
of fire stood in the doorway taking in the scene. “What're you
doing to my mama?” Jonah pointed at Kenton, who rose slowly off
her. Chastity cringed thinking about what her children must think.
Kenton wore a pair of boxers and nothing else. Since he came to her
bedroom, she must’ve been screaming. Oh Lord, she’d woke her kids.
Now they thought…they thought he’d done something. Shit.

“I…nothing.” Kenton frowned. “I’m not doing
anything— “

Jonah ran, grabbed him around the legs and
started punching.

“Hey, stop that.” Kenton twisted, trying to
shake the little leech off.

Micah followed suit and started throwing
punches a little higher. Kenton gave him his back and looked at her
completely at a loss while his sons hit him, avenging their mother.
Boys, you are too late for that
.

Holding his injured arm above the fray, he
glared at her. “Stop this.”

She nodded, wiping the smile from her face.
“Jonah, Micah. Stop.” She could tell they were getting tired and
Kenton seemed exasperated that they’d think he’d do something so
vile. Both boys stopped and backed away in sync. They stood in
front of her. Pride rose in her chest, these were her man-cubs.

“What are you thinking?” Kent asked in a low
angry snarl. His red face stared at each boy, but neither backed
down.

“My mama screamed,” Micah said.

“You’re in here holding her down. Naked.”
Jonah pointed at him.

“Yeah. Naked.”

“I’m not…I’m not naked.” Kenton snapped and
turned toward the door. He pointed at them. “Don’t move.”

Jonah released his breath and looked at her.
“You okay?”