Secrets [5] Echoes: Part One (44 page)

“No. I’m gonna stay with mum and dad while I do that teaching degree I was thinking about.”

“Really?”

“Yup.”

“Aw, Mike, that’s great. I think you’ll make a wicked awesome teacher.”

“You bet I will.”

“And I assume you’ll be appointing Falcon Head of Security?”

He nodded once. “If he’ll take the position.”

“He will.” I was sure of it. “However,” I added after a moment’s thought. “Has he come to you about this person he’s dating?” I used the word ‘person’ instead of ‘guy’ in case Falcon hadn’t told Mike yet about his new relationship.

“Marcus? Yeah. Why?”

“Well, Falcon’s gotten it into his head that the men won’t follow him—”

“Say no more.” Mike put his palm up. “I’ve already told Falcon this. His personal life is
not
the concern of anyone on the Core, and if anyone has a problem with it, they don’t belong here. This a group of elite soldiers in a modern world, not a Catholic boys’ schoolyard.”

I sat stunned as his words sunk in, then laughed. “Aw, Mike. It just won’t be the same around here without you.”

“I know. And I’ll miss it but—” He shrugged and looked sideways at me, and a smile I hadn't seen in so long presented itself on his lips—as if we were kids again. As if the weight of the world had finally lifted off his shoulders. As if everything was going to be okay. “I can at least leave knowing I’ve left you in good hands.”

“Yeah, Falcon will—”

“I didn't mean Falcon.”

My hair moved forward on my head as I frowned. “Who then?
David
? Because, I wouldn't class him as good hands.”

“No.” He stood up. “Not him, either.”

“Jason?” I stood too, and followed him from the Training Hall to the manor, throwing a bunch of names at him, but he just smiled the whole way and said nothing.

***

A mostly uneventful day proved to be just what the doctor ordered. I sat in the sun on the garden swing for most of the afternoon, a book by my leg instead of in my hands, because every time my little girl kicked inside me, I just couldn't help but place my palms across my belly and poke back, talking and singing to her as though she was already in my arms. I thought a little about baby names and nurseries, getting that true pang of excitement for the first time since this whole thing began. No matter what was going on in our lives, the fact was, one day very soon, I’d be meeting my little baby girl. And she was all that really mattered to me at the end of the day.

When the sun ducked behind the clouds and the afternoon cooled, I headed inside to see if Jason was done sleeping off the shopping expedition.

“Hey.”

He looked up from his book. “Hi!”

“How’d it go with Pep—I mean Sara yesterday?” I walked in and took up a seat on his bed, hugging one of his pillows.

“Great. She was well-behaved, if not a little eager to feast on the human race. But she didn’t cause any trouble.”

“None that Mike couldn't handle anyway, right?” I smirked.

Jase lowered his foot from the stack of books by the windowsill and let his leg dangle. “He said she’s a lot like you when you were that age.”

“In what way?”

“Just how free-spirited she is. She kinda talks loud and even went as far as to hug the store clerk.” He laughed. “She’s quite a character.”

I nodded, thinking about my teen-self. “So, why Sara?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you change her name?”

“Oh. We didn’t.” He hopped down off the windowsill and came to sit beside me. “That was her name before she was turned. She changed it to Pepper about three years after—when her human facade ‘died’ publicly for the first time.”

“Oh.” I pouted in thought. “Fair enough. So what era does she think she lives in?”

His mouth split into a wide grin. “She got a shock, that’s for sure—when we walked into town. I had to tell her that she’d been asleep for some fifty years.”

“How’d she take that?”

“As teens do.” He shrugged. “Like it was no big deal. She’s just happy to be a vampire—went mad over an eReader.”

“Books on a screen, huh? Who’d have thought?”

“Yeah, she was completely in love. So we got her one—bought her a copy of that vampire series they made into a TV show, too.”

I laughed, throwing my head back a bit. “I bet she’ll love it.”

He nodded.

“So…” I started, but I really didn’t want to say what came next. This was the moment though, if ever there was one before. “Jase, a discussion came up at breakfast this morning.”

“I heard.” He flopped back on the bed, his hands behind his head. “I also heard you were completely lost for words and somehow managed to give the impression you and I were running away together.”

I nodded.

“Why, Ara? You know what you want; why didn’t you just say it?”

“Because I … for one, I wanted to talk to you about my feelings before I talked to the entire House.”

“Which feelings?”

I didn’t want to say it. Even tried a deep breath to give me courage—maybe the courage to run away. But it had to be said. Now, or never. “The thing is … David and I will never get back together, Jase—”

“Matter of opinion.”

“Even then, I can’t jump from one guy to another and back again. I don’t want David back right now. I mean, I have to admit that I do actually still love him, but it’s best for me if I…” I looked down at him. “Have some time
alone
.”

His lips pursed in a thin line. “So you want me to leave.”

“It’s not that. It’s just that I—”

He grabbed my hand and squeezed firmly, propping himself up on one elbow. “I know your heart, Ara, inside and out. You can’t hide anything from me.”

My soul sunk into my gut.

“You want me gone. Just say it.”

“It’s not that I want you gone, because I really don’t. I…” I swallowed. “I just can’t ever be with you, Jase. My heart’s … not in it.”

“Hey—” He smiled, but that confident, sweet disposition couldn't hide the true and raw hurt in those emerald eyes. “You wanna know something?”

“Mm-hm.”

“I already know that. I’ve known for some time now.”

“You have?”

“Yeah,” he said with a heavy sigh. “But I guess I kinda talked myself into believing we could … coexist—the three of us.”

“I just don’t think that’s good for any of us.”

“It’s not. But denial can certainly cloud the waters, can’t it?”

“It can. But, Jase, I’m so sorry I hurt you…” I whispered, shrinking. “I never wanted to string you along, I—”

“You weren’t stringing me along, Ara,” he said, frowning as though that was ridiculous. “You've never been anything
but
honest with me about your feelings. I knew where I stood.”

“But—”

“Look, I know I seem like some lovesick pushover, but I really am a man of my own rights, and I do things as much for myself as I do for others.” He leaned back a bit, that small smile staying on his lips, his eyelids closing in a few blinks as he let me absorb that. “I knew months and months ago that my presence was causing you heartache, Ara. I knew it caused confusion too, but I damn well wanted it to—maybe enough that you might realise I was better for you.”

“You
are
better for me.” I knew that. He knew that. It just didn't change things.

“No,” he corrected. “I’m different. Maybe more easy-going than my brother, but not better for you. Sometimes what we need is a partner that challenges us—makes us fight to be better.”

“Or just fight.”

“This tension between you and David is a good thing. Don’t you see? If he didn't care, he wouldn't bother taunting you and fighting with you.”

My brow arched. “That’s just the most ridiculous psychoanalytical bull crap I’ve ever heard, Jase.”

“Not when you know my brother as well as I do.”

“So he’s had clear visions, in front of me—where I can
see
his thoughts, about the enjoyment he’d get by seeing me impaled, because he
really loves me
?”

“Yes. And, Ara, I love you, too. I always will, which means I will always do what I think is right by you.”

“And you think I should be with him—David the Impaler?”

“I do,” he said, then his serious face cracked and he had to laugh. “David the Impaler.”

I laughed too.

“Stop it.” He gently slapped my thigh. “I need you to be serious. I have more to say.”

“Please, continue,” I said, offering him an imaginary floor.

He cleared his throat and rearranged his features until he looked deadly serious again. With just a hint of gleam in his eye. “I once thought waiting around for you to leave David was the right thing to do, but … Well, you’re right. I need to go. For my sake and for yours, because I can’t deny it any longer that there’s no room here for me. You and him need to work through things. And I’m sure you will if I’m out of the picture—once and for all.”

“I don’t know about that. I’m not sure I really
want
to work through it anymore.”

“Yes, you do.” He smoothed a hand down my arm. “You’re keeping your desires close to your heart because you don’t want to hurt me by admitting you love him more but, Ara … you just gotta understand: I want you happy as much as you want
me
happy. And if that means you end up with him, so be it.” He shrugged. “I’ll be fine. I have my lab, the long-awaited attention of the scientific community, and I will always have you as a friend.”

“But no true love to call your own.”

A radiant smile swept in across his lips, brightening his eyes. “When the time is right, she’ll come along. And at least I know exactly what kind of girl I’m looking for now.”

“Lemme guess? Opposite of me?”

His gentle touch landed on my cheek for a second. “No. In fact, I’m kinda hoping the evil narrator of our story might think about adding a couple of doppelgängers—like that vampire TV show. Or maybe I can build some kind of cloning machine and make an Ara for myself.”

I laughed softly. “Aw, Jase. I so wish I’d fallen for
you
.”

“But then who’d love my brother?” he said sadly. “I do care for him, Ara. And you were right when you said that, if you don't love him…” He left that hanging. “You have this unique ability to love things that do not seem to deserve love, and that’s what my brother needs. I mean, even after you walked in on him with three girls and a bunch of torture tools, you still didn’t run.” He smiled fondly, shaking his head. “You’re something spectacular, Ara. And I believe with all my heart that you were designed just for him. Once you both realise that and stop fighting it, I think you’ll have a very happy eternity together.”

“And you? What will you do?”

“Trek the Swiss Alps?” He moved one shoulder up timidly. “Become a Monk?” He leaned forward and grabbed both my arms, taking on a more serious note. “I will go somewhere far away and I will find myself, Ara. You and your monarchy have given me the freedom now to go anywhere I want. No more checking in, reporting my whereabouts and kills once every day. No more rules and restrictions—huge taxes. I am free, as are many under your reign, and everything I ever wanted to do in life is finally at my feet.” He motioned to the world at the floor. “So don’t worry about me. I might cry for a few hundred years,” he said with a laugh. “But just knowing you’re happy, and my brother is happy, will bring me more peace than heartache. And I’m not just saying that to sound noble.”

“So you really mean it, huh?”

“I do.” He nodded once. “Think how you’d feel if I suddenly left you for some cute blonde I fell in love with.”

He was right. I’d just be happy for him. “David knows a few.” I suggested playfully. “Heard he’s got one that’s a real suck-up. Pun intended.”

His sharp fangs gleamed in the sunlight as he smiled. “We’re gonna be fine, you and I. You don’t need to worry about a thing.”

“Except that he’ll never love me again.”

“He will. I’m sure of it.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Look, let me explain something to you.”

“Uh-oh.”

He laughed. “Fact is, you were my brother’s girl. Fair and square. And from the moment I felt that
strange
connection to you at the masquerade…” We both cringed a little. “I thought I was doing the right thing by, I guess, stealing you.”

“Because he’s apparently so evil and unworthy?” I said sarcastically.

“Not just that.” He looked bashfully at his knees. “I never told you this, but … you started coming to me—spirit walking—since those early, early days after I bound you to Mike. And over time it gave me this irrational belief that I had some claim to you—like it meant we were
fated
. Granted, I thought I was fated to kill you, until I actually tried to kill you, and then…” He quirked his head timidly to one side. “I’m glad I decided we were fated for love instead."