Secrets and Revelations (Bellingwood #4) (18 page)

"Well, you aren't going to get anywhere if you don't start. I figured your curiosity would have spurred you on to finish this by now."

"I've seen most of these files. It's not like I didn't know my dad was this organized. Any time I ever asked him for something, he'd take me into his office, open up a file cabinet drawer, pull out the appropriate file folder and tell me what I needed. There were phone books and directories from all the activities I was in. I'm sure you will find every single program from my concerts. There are folders with newspaper clippings of me and my friends. I didn't have to keep a scrapbook, he kept the important things."

"Things that were important to him. Look, here is a flyer from the West Bend Grotto and the Fort Dodge fort. Wow. He did keep everything. I'm surprised you don't have more junk hanging around. Did you learn nothing from him?"

"I was so used to him saving everything, I didn't ever develop the habit I guess. I have to force myself to remember to take pictures of the people and things I love. It's a good thing I can use the camera on my phone. I'd never save any memories."

Henry scooted over and kissed her on the cheek. "We'll just keep talking about everything until it becomes a story memory for you. That way you'll have plenty of things to remember when you get old and gray."

"I'm never going gray, you fool."

"Whatever. Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow or do you want to drive?"

"Will it be a nice enough day we could take the T-bird?"

"That's a great idea! I'd love to take her out."

"Oh! Did you go over to the Mikkels' tonight?"

"I was there for a little while. Nate had some crisis he had to deal with at the nursing home so he called to let me know he'd be late, but yes. He has a huge auto shop out behind their house."

"Huge?"

"Well, it's bigger than mine. He says that the pharmacy is a means to an end. He wants to end up restoring cars and reselling them. But that's down the road a ways. For now, it's just a hobby."

"That's an expensive hobby. Wow."

"I think it would be different if they had kids, but since they don't ..." Henry's voice trailed off.

"Did he talk about that to you?"

"Not really. He just said they weren't able to have kids and that he and Joss hadn't figured out whether or not they wanted to keep pursuing it."

"I guess they still aren't talking about it."

"They'll figure it out." Henry pulled a file folder out. "This looks interesting and it's stuck here in a weird place." He flipped it open and billing receipts fell onto Polly's lap.

"These are hospital bills. Wait. These are bills from 1980."

"Uh huh."

"But that's Ruth Ann's name. Why was Dad paying Ruth Ann's hospital bills in 1980?"

Henry sat there quietly while Polly processed the information she had in her hands.

"These are dated September 21," she said quietly. "I was born on September 20."

He put his hand on her leg and said nothing.

"Henry?"

"Yes, Polly."

"Ruth Ann is my mother."

He could feel her body begin to shake. "Polly before you jump to any strange conclusions, you have to take a breath."

"If she's my mother, did they … " She looked at him and saw her pain reflected in his eyes.

Polly put the laptop back on the table in front of her, pushed the papers away and stood up. "Come on Obiwan, we're taking a walk."

The dog heard his name and jumped up, leaving his rawhide bone. He followed her into the bedroom and down the steps, where she snapped the leash on. She went out through the garage and took a breath of the evening air and said, "Come on, bud. I need to move."

The two of them jogged around the back of Sycamore House and up around the side. She ran past the barn and when she hit the road, stopped, not knowing where to turn. She went north toward town, staying on her property, crossed the road into a residential section and began running down the streets, not having a clue where she was heading. Obiwan stayed with her and she finally felt him pull on the leash. She stopped for a moment and then began to pick up the pace again. They ran around the neighborhood and she ended up back at the road.

Polly knelt down and buried her face in his neck. "It's a good thing you don't care whether or not I'm out of my mind. I suppose I should tell Henry that I'm still sane."
She reached for the phone in her back pocket and realized it was sitting upstairs beside her laptop. "Damn. Now he's going to worry. Let's go back."

They crossed back onto her property and she waited for Obiwan to sniff and smell the grass. They slowly made their way back to the garage and went inside.
Doug and Billy's lights were still on. That made her smile. They were such good kids. She'd seen Rachel in the evenings and the girl was getting more comfortable on horseback. Eliseo wouldn't let her out of the pen, but at least she was learning how to sit and ride.

Polly shook her head. That wasn't important. How was she going to face this woman tomorrow knowing what she knew?

Obiwan dashed up the steps and Polly followed more slowly. The cats didn't come to greet her, so she assumed they were curled up next to Henry. When she got to the door of the living room, she said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run away like that."

There was sweat on her forehead and Henry smiled, "It looks like you really did run."

"Obiwan is good about that. He lets me run until I have to let him stop and pee, but I'm sorry I took off. I just felt as if the room was going to crush me."

"That's fine. I wish you would have said something, but I'm pretty good at making assumptions."

She sat down beside him. "I can't believe this woman is my mother. I thought I looked like my mom. I know I look like my dad. How can this be?"

"I know it doesn't do you any good, but you really should wait until tomorrow to hear what she has to say."

"It sucks. I can't even tell you how much."

"Do you want some more ice cream?"

"No, I'm good for now. I just want answers."

He turned so she could nestle under his arm. "I know that and I'm sorry I don't have any more for you."

"Henry, I'm so glad you found that file tonight. As upset as I am right now, I would have been devastated if she'd sprung this on me tomorrow. I can't run away from a restaurant."

"I'm glad too. I don't think I could have explained that." He chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"I want this over with. There are so many fun things coming up this weekend that I want to move past this and focus on them. Jason's birthday party is tomorrow night. That's going to be great! The parade is on Friday, the band plays Friday night."

Henry interrupted. "I'm in the car show."

"You're in the car show. The Literary Competition is on Saturday."

"We're going to the carnival Saturday night and
then the street dance after dark."

"Really? That will be so much fun! See, I just want to be done with this and think about all of these other things."

"It will happen soon enough. I promise. Time will pass, you'll get some sort of answer, whether you like it or not. Then we'll move on to the next thing."

"Henry?"

"Yes."

"Don't go for a while. I'm really sorry I ran out on you, but will you stay?"

"I'm here as long as you want me to be here. I promise.”

Returning to wakefulness, Polly tried to figure out where she was
. Everything was warm and as she embraced consciousness, she discovered there was a dog plastered against one side of her and oh!

She poked Henry and mumbled, "What time is it?"

"I dunno. Go to sleep. No alarm yet."

"What time is it?" she demanded.

"Shhh. Sleep. Not yet."

She had fallen asleep on the couch last night and barely remembered him waking her up to go to bed. But her heart and mind were both still worrying over the lunch meeting with Ruth Ann Marshall, so she'd begged him to stay for just a while until she fell asleep again. He must have done just that.

Things might have to change in their lives. Having him snuggled up against her back felt perfect. He woke up enough to wrap an arm around her and pull her in more tightly and she felt him chuckle behind her when his fingers touched Obiwan's fur.

"I hope that's not you in the morning or you have a serious issue."

"What time is it?" she asked once again.

"You are difficult in the morning. Have you bothered to look outside to see whether or not there is any light yet?"

"It might be a little bit light. What time is it?"

He growled at her and turned away, reaching behind himself for a phone. "It's
five thirty. Don't we at least have another hour to sleep?"

Polly relaxed. He was right. She didn't have to be at the barn until after
six thirty. "Fine. Sleep, you slug."

"Mmmff," he mumbled into her hair and pulled her back in against him.

She lay there and grew more uncomfortable by the minute. She had to pee, she began thinking about lunch and started worrying all over again. He had managed to trap some of her hair under his head and it was pulling on her scalp. She was too hot with both his body heat and the dog pressed up against her and now with his arm around her she wanted to leap out of bed. Since they had dropped into bed, they were both fully clothed. One of the cats was lying across her feet and she couldn't move. Wasn't this time of the morning supposed to be wonderful and sexy and all that? It was awful.

Polly took in a deep breath and tried to push Obiwan away. He didn't budge. She moved her feet and dislodged a cat, who meowed and pressed back against her.

"Okay, that's it. I'm outta here," she announced and threw Henry's arm off. With all her limbs free, she shoved Obiwan far enough away that he rolled out of the bed and stood on the floor looking as if he'd lost his best friend.

"You can get back in bed and sleep with him," she said to the dog. "Apparently, I'm done."

"Are you okay?" Henry asked. "Are you upset that I'm still here."

She looked at him. His hair was mussed, his eyes were sleepy. He was adorable.

"I'm not upset. I'm glad you stayed. But, my brain won't turn off, my body is hot and I was feeling a little trapped between you and the dog. If you want to keep sleeping, he's good for that. I'm going to the kitchen and make some coffee."

Henry turned back over and when Obiwan jumped back up on the bed, pulled the dog into position so he was wrapped around him. "Is this what you wanted?" he laughed.

Polly chuckled and mussed Henry's hair a little more as she walked past him. "That's perfect."

Grabbing her phone, she took a quick shot of the two of them and left the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

With the coffee brewing, Polly sat down on the sofa and opened her laptop. She wondered if Ruth Ann had responded. Sure enough there was an email from her confirming that she would meet them in Ames for lunch. Polly's stomach lurched and she shut her eyes. As much as she didn't want to meet this woman, there was no longer any other option. She had to know what was going on and the only person with any answers was this woman. Polly pulled her feet up under her, set the laptop back down on the table and shivered, reminding herself that this would soon be over and then she could think about something else.

The last few days had given her enough distractions to keep her mind off her own thoughts. She was certain that a small part of her hoped the meeting might not happen at all and she could get away with staying in the dark about her past forever. But with Henry's discovery, that was no longer a possibility.

"Oh, Dad. What in the hell were you thinking?" Polly asked her ceiling. "Why didn't you tell me any of this? I would have been able to handle it if I had heard it from you. You could have told me what you and Mom were thinking and then you could have made it okay. Why did you wait so long and then die on me before we had a chance to talk?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "I miss you and I'm mad at you and I want to yell at you. But you're not here for me to tell you anything."

She pulled a pillow and tucked it under her chin and felt tears begin to run down her cheeks. "I'm so scared, Dad. I'm so damned scared. I don't want to hate you for doing something stupid."

Polly heard rustling from the bedroom and jammed the pillow in her eyes to dry the tears, thrusting it back on the couch as Henry opened the door.

"I heard talking. Who were you talking to?"

"No one. Just me. I'm sorry I bothered you."

She looked down at his bare feet. When had he taken his socks off? He had great looking feet. She'd never seen them without shoes and socks before.

"What are you looking at?"

"You've got great feet," she said.

"These old things? I've had them since I was born."

She chuckled. It was an old joke meant to make her smile and it worked.

"Are you feeling sorry for yourself and trying to create a pity party all on your own out here?" he asked, walking past her to the kitchen.

"You sound like Lydia," Polly accused. "I can't ever get away with anything, even when I have a right to be pitiful."

"Coffee?" he held up the pot and she nodded.

"I don't want any of this to be real. I just want it to go away."

"You can make it go away after lunch today. Do you think there is any way you could live without knowing the truth?"

"No, but I wish she'd never contacted me. I could have gone years without facing this. I would have left that stuff in the storage unit for another year or so and even then, I don't know if I ever would have gotten through all of Dad's files. That information could have been totally lost to me."

He handed her a mug and sat on the table in front of her. "What would you have done in thirty years if you had come across that file folder and had no way of contacting this woman. What if you found her and then discovered she had died. Everyone who knew about this would be gone."

"Do you think my Uncle Clyde knew about it?"

"Who knows," he said. "The only thing we can do right now is have lunch, ask questions, get some answers and move on. Right?"

"Right," she agreed, "But I still feel sick to my stomach."

He patted her knee. "That makes sense. If you'd slept for another hour, we'd be that much closer to having this thing over with, though. What do you want for breakfast?"

"I can make something," Polly jumped up.

"Why don't you take a shower and I'll make breakfast, then I'll run home and get ready for the day."

"Because I don't take a shower until I'm done with the horses in the morning. I have plenty of time." She slipped past him and went to the kitchen. "Do you want eggs? I have sausage here somewhere. Or I could mix up some pancakes, I suppose."

"Eggs sound fine. Will you toast some of your homemade bread?"

She grinned. He was a smart man. "Absolutely. I think I have some of Andy's elderberry jelly left too, unless the boys finished it." She pulled a few jars out of the way and found a small jar. "Voila! Breakfast is saved!"

"Don't bother with the eggs. I never eat much breakfast anyway.
Just toast and jelly." He commented, pulling her in for a hug. "Your hair still smells good this morning. I enjoyed smelling it all night long."

"Stop it. You make me silly when you say those things."

"Well you got me thinking the other night about the future and where we were going with everything."

"Whoa. Don't go any further," she said. "I have enough emotional stuff going on today and I don't care whether you are breaking up with me or asking me to marry you, it has to wait until later."

"But,"

"Nope. Please."

"I'm not breaking up with you or asking you to marry me, okay?"

"That's fine then. Anything else, can it please wait?" She was pleading with him.

"Make me toast, woman. You drive me crazy."

Polly sliced bread and dropped it in the toaster, then handed him plates and the butter dish. She shook her head. Stupid men sometimes had no idea how to deal with a girl's emotions. Where were her girlfriends when she needed them?

She handed the first slices of toast to him and turned back to drop two more in. She heard him buttering and mumbling. "What are you mumbling about?"

"I’m annoyed
. I can't have a normal conversation with you when I want to."

"Maybe when you want to isn't the right time, did you ever think of that?"

"We just spent the night together. How is this not the right time?"

"Please don't do this right now, Henry."

"I'm not doing anything. I just want to know why I can't talk to you about some of the things I'm thinking about. It's like you're avoiding it."

"You can talk to me, just not this morning. I'm begging you not to do this. I'll give you all the time in the world when I'm not already stressed out over something as big as learning who my real mother is." She felt her shoulders tighten up and kept her back to him.

"Fine." He set the knife down on his plate firmly enough that she knew it was a statement.

"Are you freakin' kidding me?" Polly spun around, her eyes flashing. "You're mad at me because I don't want to have a big discussion with you about our relationship? I asked you to stay last night because I was, and by the way, still am, upset about meeting this strange woman today. I can only handle one emotional crisis at a time and I didn't think you and I were at a point we needed to even have an emotional crisis. You know what? You can just go the hell home and stay there. Do whatever you want today. I'll call Lydia or Beryl or Andy and ask them to go to Ames with me. I don't need you and honestly, right now, I don't want you there either."

She flung the next two pieces of toast on the table and stalked into her bedroom. Pulling on her work jeans and a t-shirt, she jammed a hat on her head and snapped her fingers for Obiwan to follow. She thought about slamming the front door, but remembered in the nick of time that there were guests across the hall. She caught it, then gently shut it.

"Come on, dog. We're heading for the barn."

When she walked out the side door, she saw Eliseo pull up in his car. Jason jumped out of the passenger side.

"Happy Birthday, Jason!" she called. "Are you ready for your party tonight?"

"I can't wait!" he yelled, running to meet her. He stopped for a second to rub Obiwan's head. "Can you believe I'm thirteen? I'm a teenager. Mom can't call me a kid anymore."

"I'll bet she can," Polly laughed. "And I'll bet she does. This will be a fun year for you."
She bent over and whispered, "Do you think you're getting a phone?"

His shoulders slumped. "I don't know. Mom won't say anything and the box that I found is too little. She keeps talking about how we can't afford a lot because she is paying for college."

"Well, if you don't get a phone, I'm sure she got you something nice. Are you going to ride today?"

"Eliseo said we could. I love Nat, Polly. He's the best. Yesterday when I hugged him around the neck, he wrapped his head around me. It felt like he was hugging me back.
We're going to give them baths this afternoon. I can't wait!"

Polly nodded. She'd forgotten all about the pre-parade baths. Eliseo opened the barn doors and they followed him in.
When Polly opened the door to Demi's stall and he brushed his nose on her shoulder, she felt herself relax. Stupid men. Stupid humans. It was time to focus on the work and the animals and let everything else fall away.