Secrets in the Lyrics (4 page)

I’m so embarrassed.  Gable just saw me completely naked.  Not only did he see all
the bruises, but he saw me.  Chunky Ivie, naked.  Great, now he actually saw my big
ass and cottage cheese thighs.

I dressed quickly and made way out to the main part of the bus.  Keeg and Stoney are
sitting on the couch, they weren’t here earlier.  I raise my hand and wave slightly
as I flop down in a chair.  I really didn’t say much when they woke me up earlier. 
They just wanted me to meet Gable’s brother, so after they went for a walk, I went
back to my bunk to make a list of things I needed to accomplish by the end of this
tour.  I was only going to depend on me when I was finished with this.  I wouldn’t
need Stoney or any man to ‘let’ me live at his place.  I would have my own.

Once they were all out of here, I went to shower and found myself naked in front of
Gable. 
Great!

“So, what time do we have to be out there for sound check?”  I ask.

Stoney looks up from the magazine he’s reading.  “Oh, she does still speak.  See Keeg,
I told you she hadn’t lost her voice in all of this.”

I roll my eyes.  “Shut up, I have a headache.”

Gable walks back in.  “Well, since you’ve had the hell beat out of you, slept like
twenty hours and haven’t eaten anything since before we left town yesterday, I bet
you do.”

I shake my head and stand up.  I walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water
and some ibuprofen.  “So what time is sound check?”

Keeg stuffs a cookie in his mouth.  “At two.  So you have a couple of hours to make
yourself look pretty.”

I knew he was just playing but it still hurt a little.  I nod.  “Yeah, I need to go
get started.”  I walk down the hallway and I hear a low argument between the guys.

“Real smooth jackass, remind her she looks like hell right now with your fucking pretty
comment.  And you, Gable, why don’t you remind her just a little more how much her
life is sucking right now.”
 

I didn’t need to listen anymore, I just locked myself in the back bedroom to get ready. 
We’d put all of our clothes in here and agreed that this would be a dressing room,
the only way someone would sleep in here is if they had someone with them, and it
couldn’t be some groupie trash.  The guys really tried to give it to me since I’m
the only girl, but I took a rack just like one of them.

I sat down and looked in the mirror and noticed the bruising on my face was becoming
very obvious.  I tried to work some magic with my concealer and some foundation. 
I normally never wore this much make-up on stage because I would just sweat it all
off, but tonight I was going to need it.  I don’t want all the other bands to see
what a fucked up mess I am. 

A couple of hours later I’m behind the guys, making my way to the stage for sound
check.  We pass by a group of girls who obviously want the guy’s attention.  They
are dressed like something you would find on a runway in a shit hole strip club or
on a street corner.

I’m used to the sneering looks that are sent my way when I pass by with the guys.  
There is always a loud drunk girl in the group.  She puts her hand out to stop me.
“Hey, can you get the guys to turn around?”  I shake my head no.  Trying to work my
way past them, she grabs my shirt.  “Hey, I was talking to you.  Can you give Gable
my number?  He’s so fucking hot.”

“No.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get the stage.”

I hear her talking as I walk on by.  She turns back to her friends.  “She’s just wants
me for herself, you know she’s probably gay, and if she’s not, she might as well be
because those hot guys are never gonna want her big ass.”

I shuffle on past the crowd and make my way to the stage.  Gable looks up.  “Where
were you?’ He looks pissed.

“I was battling the skanks off of me.  The ones who stopped me to get your number
or for me you give theirs.  I thought I might have to get a shot for STD’s once I
got away from them.”

The guys never cease to amaze me because they look straight past me to see the group
of women.  “Look guys, just go on out there, ask them back to the bus, whatever, but
we need to sound check.  I’ll make myself scarce until the show.  I’m dressed anyway.”

Keeg and Stoney lit up like Christmas morning. “Thanks, Ivie.  Are you sure?”  Keeg
says.

“Yeah I’m sure, I’m gonna go for a walk around the grounds.”

Gable stops.  “Ivie.”

I put my hand up.  “Stop, I’m in a band with guys.  I understand that.  You guys like
to bang anything that walks.”  Besides me.  “So who am I to stand in your way?  You
play better after you’ve nutted, anyway.”

We do a great sound check.  I stop when I see one of the event coordinators.  “Hey,
um I need a new cell phone.  Is there a store near here that I can walk to or something?”
 

She smiles.  “Yeah, it’s right down the street, but let me get one of the crew to
take you there.  That way I know you’ll get in and out of the gates okay.”

I nod.  “Thanks.  I can’t believe I left it.”

She radios someone to come over where we are.

I seriously don’t know why I’m worried.  The only people who called me on it were
Chad and the guys.  Well, and Dottie on the rare occasion that Gable didn’t answer.

A young guy, probably fresh out of high school, pulls up in an SUV. 

The lady looks at me.  “Ivie, this is Jacob, he’ll run you down to the store.”

I nod.  “Thanks again.”

I slide into the SUV and head to the store.

The half-naked girl sitting across me would normally be great for me, but all I can
think about is Ivie.  What is she doing?  Where is she at?

The girl starts rubbing my dick through my jeans.  “So, Chubby really told you guys
about us, huh?  I didn’t figure she would.  I figured she was a lesbian or that she
was a jealous girl keeping you guys to herself.”

I grab her hand.  “What did you call her?”

The girl shrugs.  “I thought she was a lesbian or that she was an insecure chubby
girl who likes keeping you guys to herself.”

I stand up and she falls on the floor.  “Get out!”

She jumps up.  “What in the hell?”

“I said get the fuck out.”

“My friends are in here.”  She looks down the hall to where two of her friends are
in the bunks with Keeg and Stoney.

“You can wait for them outside.”

She slides the scrap of material she was calling a top back on.  “Unfucking believable. 
What, do you have a hard on for chubby girls?”

“What the fuck makes you think she’s chubby?  Because she’s got a gorgeous fucking
rack and an ass to kill.  And you are a scrawny bitch with enough fucking padding
in that push-up bra for a queen size mattress.”  I know this is true about Ivie because
I just saw them in the flesh a couple of hours ago and it is all I can think about.

She stomps to the bus door.  “Fuck you and your fat girlfriend!”

I grab up my shit for the show and walk out the bus door, just in time to see Ivie
getting out of the passenger side of a really nice SUV.  She has a bag in her hand
and she makes her way back stage.

Who in the fuck was she with?  I make my way backstage and find her in the small area
set aside for the bands in large tents.  She’s messing with a phone.  I sit down beside
her.  “Hey.  Where did you go?”

She shows me the phone.  “I left my phone at Chad’s yesterday.  I needed a new one.”

“Oh, well who took you?  I saw you getting out of an SUV.”

“It was one of the volunteers, he was a young kid.  One of the event coordinators
set it up for me.  I was going to go myself and just walk, but she didn’t want me
to have trouble getting in and out of the gates.  After I paid for it I realized I
really don’t need it. You guys and Chad are the only people who call me.”

I put my elbows down on my knees.  “So, do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.  But I guess I owe you guys an explanation.  He didn’t like me playing
in the band.  He thought I was trying to sleep with you guys.  I told him I wasn’t
and that you guys didn’t think of me that way, either.  He said he knew you guys could
never look at me that way, but that I lusted after all of you.  I’m pretty sure he’s
on something.  He’s been getting paranoid about little shit.  It just started to get
out of hand.”

“The other week, when you came in with the bruises on your arms?”

“He left me handcuffed to the bed for a day.  Yesterday was by far the worst that
ever happened.  I was trying to sneak out and leave before he got off duty.”

She drops her head in her hands.  I touch her knee and she jumps.  “Ivie, why didn’t
you tell us this sooner?”

“I was determined to make this relationship work, plus I was living with him.  I really
didn’t have money for my own place.”

I shoot her a look.  “Seriously?  Like you couldn’t go back to Stoney’s or anything.”

“Look, I’m tired of being the group fuck-up.  I’m tired of dating shithead guys, falling
for their crap, and then having to go back to Stoney’s and be the laughing stock of
the group.  This tour just happened to come along at a good time.  Now, when I get
back home, I should have enough money saved up to get my own apartment and maybe a
dog.  NO man.  I’m not going to be poor Ivie who’s homeless again.”

“Ivie.  You are not the laughing stock of the group.”

She stands up.  “Yeah, well it sure feels that way some times.”  Then she turns to
grab a bottle of water and walks off.

I sit there waiting for her to come back but she doesn’t.  Does she really see herself
as being that messed up?  That asshole, Chad, really told her that none of us would
ever go for her.  Obviously he didn’t meet the seventeen year old versions of us who
made a pact not to mess with her.  We knew that if one of us screwed her over it would
fuck up the band, and she was too great to lose.  Who the fuck does he think he is
to treat her like that?

I run my hands back and forth over my head.  He left her hand cuffed to a bed for
a day, and there is no telling what he did to her while she was handcuffed.  I saw
so many bruises on her today. 

I shake my head, she thinks we laughed at her.  Cade is right, she really does have
some self-worth issues.

Soon, I see Stoney and Keeg walking through the tent.  “Hey man, why did you kick
their friend out?  Luckily we were finished before they found out you kicked her out.”

“Get over here and sit down douche canoes, we gotta talk.”

I start off telling them why I kicked bitchy girl out, which they were pissed that
she said those things, too.  Then I told them about my talk with Ivie.

Stoney looks up sadly.  “Why would she think we were laughing at her?  I’d never laugh
at her life.  I love her like my little sister, I want to protect her.  I honestly
don’t think I would care if she lived with me for the rest of our lives.”

About that time, Ivie walks up.  Keeg stands up and hugs her. “Sweet girl, I want
to kill that bastard.”

She glares at me.  “You told them.  I didn’t realize I was fucking talking to a blabber
mouth.  Look, fucking stay out of my business, all of you.  I don’t try to counsel
you guys on the whores you fuck, don’t worry about my pathetic life.  I’m a big girl,
I can handle it.  Now let’s go, we have a show to play.”  She storms toward the stage
and we follow.

The guys are trying to catch up but I stop them.  “Look, just give her space, I guess
that’s what she wants.  I guess she needs time to process it or whatever.  I know
dealing with my sister can be a pain in the ass roller coaster ride of emotions sometimes,
but she works through it.”

The boys nod and we walk to the side stage and wait to go on.  I’d be lying if I didn’t
say I had not butterflies, but fucking birds, flying around in my stomach right now. 
I’m so damn nervous.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Beautifully Tainted!