Secrets of Hallstead House (8 page)

Stephan laughed. “She does not like to make concessions to her hip,” he agreed. “If she doesn’t want to wear sensible shoes, no one’s going to be able to convince her to do so.”

After a moment’s pause, Stephan looked at me and said, “And what about you? How are you doing at Summerplace?”

I had been trying to think of an answer to his question, and since he already knew I was having a problem with Vali, I decided to broach that subject.

“Summerplace is breathtaking, and working here is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But, as I mentioned when you came upstairs, not everyone is thrilled to have me here. Vali seems determined that I leave as soon as possible, and she has told me that in no uncertain terms on more than one occasion. And I don’t know quite what to make of Leland. He’s not as openly rude as Vali is, but he seems to want me gone too. Do you know why they want so much to be rid of me?”

Stephan was silent for a moment before answering. “Vali and Leland have been with Alex for many, many years,” he began. “Neither one of them is terribly easy to get along with, as you’ve discovered, but they have always been loyal to Alex. And she appreciates that. I think she also knows that, because of their ages, they might have a hard time finding other employment if she were to let them go. So they stay on and we more or less put up with them.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t explain why they want me to leave.”

“Before you came here Vali was Alex’s nurse in addition to being the cook and the housekeeper for this big place. It got to be too much for her. If you think she’s cranky now, you should have seen her a month ago! Anyway, Alex decided it would be for the best if she got another nurse and let Vali go back to the housekeeping and the cooking. Vali is good at those things, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“She is,” I admitted.

“Here’s what I think is going on: Vali thinks she’s going to become less and less important to Alex the longer you’re here.”

“In other words, she’s jealous of me,” I said.

“That’s exactly it. She thinks that the closer you become to Alex, the more of a confidante you’ll become and the more she’ll be pushed to the sidelines. Don’t forget—Vali has held an important post at Summerplace for a long time now without much interference from anyone. I think she views you as a great threat to her position in the household.”

“But that’s ridiculous. I’m the last person who could usurp Vali’s position here,” I protested. “I’m no cook, and I’m not much of a housekeeper, either.”

“You know it and I know it, but Vali is looking at this less objectively than we are. I know this sounds pat, but try to ignore her. And as for Leland, he’s a good handyman, but he lacks personality. I’m sure that hasn’t escaped your notice, either. He more or less does Vali’s bidding. So ignore him too. He’s harmless.”

I wasn’t sure how harmless Leland was, but I didn’t say anything. I thought briefly about discussing Will’s behavior with Stephan but decided against it. After all, Will and Stephan worked together on a daily basis and I didn’t know the extent of their relationship.

Stephan seemed to sense that I was mulling over something, and he looked at me intently. “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss, Macy?”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you for telling me about Vali and Leland. It helps me to know a little of their background with Alex.”

Stephan went back downstairs then, and I tried sketching again. But my mind wasn’t on the page and I knew I was done for the day. I paced around the room for several minutes, trying to find that calm feeling I had had before Vali’s visit. I could see Pete down on the dock, working on one of the boats.
It must be nice to work outdoors in solitude
, I thought. Problems start when you have to deal with people. I sighed and went downstairs, locking the turret door behind me when I reached the balcony. I went through my room again, noticing that Leland hadn’t replaced the glass yet. The room had warmed up a little but was still quite cold. Then I headed downstairs to make lunch and to check on Alex and return the turret key.

I found her eating lunch from a tray at her desk. She said she would be ready to go for a short walk afterward, so I waited for her in her sitting room.

It was indeed a short walk. We went around Summerplace once and then she said she had to go back to her office to prepare for a conference call with people in New York in just a little while. I helped her up the stairs, and after she went into her office alone I went upstairs for my camera then back outdoors. I wasn’t ready to stay inside just yet.

I walked briskly around Summerplace a couple of more times just for some exercise. When I came to Vali and Leland’s house a third time, something compelled me to step off the flagstone walkway and set off through the woods on the path to the leaning tree I had found earlier.

I walked slowly, enjoying the peace of the outdoors.
This is how Pete must feel when he’s working outside
, I thought a little enviously. I could tell that this place was quickly starting to grow on me, and I wondered how I would feel leaving it to go back to the big city. I snapped lots of pictures to remind me of days like this when I eventually returned to New York.

When I came to the leaning tree I walked up to it carefully, lest I get too close to the edge of the water and slip in. I felt its rough bark under my fingertips, and I stood for some time looking up into its leafy branches. Then I saw something on the trunk of the tree that I hadn’t seen before. There were initials carved into the bark: “AH + FH.”
That must be Alex Hallstead and Forrest Harper
, I thought. How sweet! I took a picture of the initials to frame as a gift for Alex. My sense of happiness at seeing those initials was inexplicable. It was as if I was getting an intimate glimpse into a happy time in Alex’s past. I examined the tree trunk carefully for other initials but found none. That somehow made me happy, too. This tree seemed to belong just to Alex and Forrest. I noticed that the vegetation around the base of the tree was slightly tamped down, as though someone had been visiting it. Probably Pete or even Will, who perhaps missed his uncle and felt close to him in this spot. I must bring Alex here sometime, once her hip allowed the trip through the woods.

I headed back to Summerplace with lifted spirits. I felt somehow closer to Alex, and the feeling gave me the strength I would need to face Vali. Once back at the house, I spent the afternoon tidying up the library and starting a rudimentary system for categorizing the books in there.

At dinnertime, I went downstairs still feeling lighthearted over my small discovery at the leaning tree. I went in to see Alex before dinner and was very happy to learn that she planned to join us in the dining room. As always, she was dressed becomingly, complete with jewelry and low-heeled pumps.

I admired her outfit, and, looking pleased, she replied, “I didn’t want to dress up too much and feel foolish, but this is a special occasion, so I wanted to look nice. After all, that dining room hasn’t seen me in quite a long time!”

We walked into the dining room together. Stephan and Will were already there, as usual, talking. They came over to us immediately.

Stephan wore a wide smile as he pulled out the chair at the head of the table. “The seat of honor, madam,” he said laughingly. Will hooked Alex’s arm through his and walked slowly with her to her seat, a handsome picture of gallantry. And clearly Alex was enjoying the attention. A place had already been set for her at the dining room table, so Vali must have known that Alex would be dining with us.

And Vali outdid herself for the occasion. There were fruited Cornish game hens with sautéed vegetables, a mesclun salad with herbs and white wine vinaigrette, and a sublime pumpkin mousse. The four of us enjoyed the dinner thoroughly, and Alex’s presence seemed to bring out the conversationalists in Stephan and Will. They both talked animatedly throughout the meal, and I could almost forget—almost—Will’s previous behavior toward me.

I didn’t say much during the meal because I was so interested in listening to the conversation, but I did pipe up during dessert.

“I went for a lovely walk this afternoon in the woods behind Vali and Leland’s house,” I began. “The path ended at that really interesting tree that leans out over the water.”

I continued, taking only brief notice of the looks being exchanged among my fellow diners. “Alex, I found the initials ‘AH + FH’ carved into the trunk of the tree—I think that’s enchanting!” I gushed.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the table like a wet blanket. I groaned inwardly. I had obviously said something wrong, but I had no idea what it was.

I was seated next to Stephan, who put his hand over mine on the table. “Macy,” he said quietly, his eyes on Alex, “the leaning tree is where the ashes of both Diana and Forrest were scattered after their deaths. So it’s a place of bittersweet memories for Alex.”

I gasped and turned to Alex. “I’m so sorry, Alex. Please forgive me. I had no idea . . .” I trailed off.

“Macy dear, there’s nothing to forgive. How could you have known the significance of that tree? You know, finding those initials must have been fun. That tree didn’t always represent sadness, you know.” She smiled, but her thoughts seemed far away. Now I understood why the ground beneath the tree was lightly worn; one or more people must visit that place to mourn Diana and Forrest.

I had ruined the dinner conversation with my faux pas, and Stephan tactfully brought the meal to a close. “Alex, I hate to bring up work, but would you mind terribly meeting with me for a few moments? There are some finer points in one of the negotiation documents that I’d like to discuss with you before tomorrow. Will, would you run upstairs and bring us the file, please?”

“Of course I don’t mind, Stephan,” Alex replied. She stood up and asked, “Macy, you’ll be in later to see me?”

I nodded mutely and she left with Stephan.

Will stood up to go after Stephan and Alex were gone. “Nice going. What did I tell you? You’re nothing but a reminder of her pain,” he said, shaking his head. I didn’t answer him and he left the room.

I didn’t go upstairs because I didn’t want to run into Will up there. I sat before the fire that was crackling in the living room, feeling sorry for myself once again. Leland poked his head in at one point, saw me, and left again. I was starting to feel totally alone here. How I wished I could talk to my parents.

Maybe I could. I could follow Alex’s lead and talk to them. Not out loud here in the living room, but in my head. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the comforting hisses and crackles coming from the fireplace.

In my mind, I went back to my childhood. It was nighttime, and my mother and father had come into my room to tuck me in. It had been a miserable day at school because I had inadvertently hurt my best friend’s feelings and she was upset. I remembered asking my parents what I should do to make her feel better. “It was an accident,” they had soothed. “You didn’t know you hurt her. You need to explain to her what happened, ask for her forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and very often forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. Even harder than asking forgiveness from someone else.” I remembered that night as if it were yesterday. I could recall how my mother smelled of violets, how my father’s face was scratchy as he leaned down to kiss me good night. Their words had been true that night, for I fell asleep peacefully and spoke with my friend the following day. She forgave me as soon as she heard my story, and all was well. I had learned an important lesson that night about allowing myself to make mistakes, and I was amazed that the scene had replayed so vividly in my mind just now when I needed it most. I had already asked Alex for forgiveness, and now I needed to work on forgiving myself. This experience had indeed been like talking to my parents, and I was filled with a sense of peace and stillness. I breathed a prayer of thanks for their wisdom and understanding, even these many weeks after their deaths. I was especially grateful to Alex for sharing with me her practice of talking to Forrest when she was alone.

I opened my eyes again to the fire blazing before me. I stood up, feeling better, and went to see Alex as I had promised. She was alone in her sitting room; Stephan and Will had left. I sat down next to her and we sat together in silence for quite some time. It didn’t seem awkward or uncomfortable, but I did break the silence after a while to speak to her.

“Alex, I had no idea that the leaning tree held such important significance to your family, and if I had known I certainly would have respected that.”

Alex remained silent for several more moments before she answered me. “This is the second time that you’ve felt like you’ve done something to upset me, but what you’ve really done is to bring back for me memories that are more precious than anything else. I can’t thank you enough. I am so grateful that you came here to remind me of these things.”

We talked companionably of insignificant things for a while longer before Alex went in to bed. I went upstairs, relieved that the evening had ended so well, but when I went into my room, I was met again with the shock of cold from the icy wind that blew through the broken window. I suppose I wasn’t really surprised that Leland hadn’t fixed the window. I ran downstairs, where I found a flimsy piece of cardboard and tape, then returned to my room and fashioned a makeshift window where the glass had been. It would do to keep out the worst of the wind, but it was still very cold. I vowed not to sleep again in the chair in the dressing room, so I undressed quickly, grabbed a heavy quilt from the bottom of the armoire, and jumped between the covers, pulling them up to my chin. If the space heater in the turret hadn’t been so heavy, I would have brought it down earlier in the day to use overnight.

I had the nightmare again that night—the sirens wailing, the police officers walking around the wreckage of the cars, and me sitting helpless on the hillside nearby. I woke up with my heart pounding but without tears this time. Thinking back to my “conversation” with my mother and father just a few hours earlier, I was strangely comforted. Perhaps the nightmare was losing its hold on me. I was able to calm my pounding heart, but it took me a long while to fall asleep again because of the frigid air still swirling around me. I finally dropped off, but not before promising myself that if the door didn’t get fixed tomorrow I would sleep somewhere else.