Secrets of the Heart (21 page)

“Agnes told me you’d gone walking in the gardens.” Hally reached for her friend’s hand and squeezed tight. “You don’t look well, Maddie. I can tell from the circles under your eyes that you are not sleeping.”

Madeline blinked back the tears. “I’m lost, Hally. Mother appears happy with Vale. I do not understand what she sees in him.”

Hally steered her toward a small bench where they sat down. “You are adjusting to your mother’s marriage. It must be so hard for you.”

“Harder than even I imagined,” Madeline said. “I should not be so miserable. My mother is happy. Yet I know Vale is hiding something.” She told Hally everything that had transpired at Ashcroft. “I cannot detect any flagrant sign of evil in him, but neither do I find true compassion. It worries me that Mother could marry someone so skilled at hiding his emotions.”

Hally hugged Madeline to her. “I cannot claim to know how an asylum is to be run, dear Maddie, but I do know that you are full of compassion for all living things. Even the fox that all the farmers hate. Perhaps you need to get away from the asylum now and not return. It only makes you melancholic, and my goal from the beginning was to have you happily ensconced within society once again.”

“It’s not society that I detest, Hally. It’s what they do to each other. So much gossip and slander. You’d think they had nothing more to concern themselves with than the next juicy scandal.”

Hally took Madeline’s hands in her own. “I dare say you are bordering on the brink of a great melancholy. Therefore I plan to distract you with other thoughts if only for a brief while. Did I tell you that Lord Ravensmoore and Mr. Melton are working ridiculously hard? Dr. Langford has them performing surgery or tending the sick night and day. He’s been very demanding ever since Ravensmoore returned late from your adventure to Gretna Green. He has been in touch, has he not?”

“Yes. He’s written me the same things that Mr. Melton has told you.” Madeline fished out her handkerchief and blew her nose. “But that makes no difference. He is unimportant in my life.”

“Have you prayed about this?”

“About what?”

“About your feelings for Ravensmoore?”

“I have no feelings for him. And I do not think God hears my prayers about anything.”

“Rubbish. He hears everyone’s prayers. Perhaps you haven’t been listening to Him. You should take a holiday and get away from Richfield for a while. Why don’t we go somewhere together? Just the two of us.”

Madeline brightened at the prospect. “A holiday? Where?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere. Where would you like to go?”

“The sea. I love the water.” Madeline felt the first burst of hope and the possibility that maybe she would feel better again. “I need to get away from this place; it’s making me sick,” she said sadly.

“Let’s plan it then.” Hally clapped her hands together. “Down to the last detail.”

“Let’s go to Scarborough.” Madeline was suddenly taken with the notion. “It’s not too far and exactly what I need.”

“Then Scarborough it is.” Hally stood, pulling Madeline up with her. “Let’s walk and make our plans. It will be such fun!”

C
HAPTER 13

Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am
in trouble: mine eye is consumed with
grief, yea, my soul and my belly.

—P
SALM 31:9

D
EVLIN RUBBED HIS
hands over his face, attempting to ward off the exhaustion that had settled deep in his bones. Langford seemed determined to siphon every bit of work out of his students that he could. The old physician continued to preach his own personal doctrine.

“You are all inept! I am going to make good physicians and surgeons of you if it’s the last thing I do. It’s my reputation on the line. You’re not butchers. You’re both physician and surgeon. Even though some people think a horse doctor will serve them just as well, it is our duty to prove them wrong.”

Splashing cold water on his face, Devlin prepared for rounds. He would never quit. Langford had no mercy for those who could not maintain his standards. And reputation and experience were everything to his future.

One thing that really irked him was his inability to get away to visit Lady Madeline. He’d taken to dreaming of her often, and those dreams were no longer satisfactory. He needed to see her. He needed to touch her face, hold her hand, and look into those hazel eyes that turned alternately greener, or a deeper brown, depending on her mood.

Melton burst through the door of the preparatory room. “Ravensmoore, Langford’s looking for you, and he’s angry as a hornet.” Melton’s shirtsleeves were rolled to his elbows, and his hair had partially escaped its black ribbon, giving him the disheveled, terror-stricken look of a child about to receive punishment from a sturdy rod. “He says one of your patients is failing and shouldn’t be. He wants to know what you plan to do about it. Now!”

“Which patient?” Ravensmoore asked, his brow furrowing with concern. “Everyone has been doing exceptionally well.”

Melton leaned against the door and closed his eyes. “I don’t know, he didn’t say, but he’s as cranky as an old man with gout. I think he’s trying to kill us off. One by one. The man’s heartless.”

“He’s only concerned for the patient.” Devlin yawned. “Let’s find out what the problem is. He’ll eventually ease up on us.”

Opening his eyes Melton said, “I won’t hold my breath.”

The two of them rushed to the room where a young woman was crying and clutching her stomach. “I’m goin’ to have me babe. Please help me. ’Tis comin’. I can feel it.”

Devlin rushed to the young woman’s side. “Mrs. Brown, calm yourself. You are all right. Don’t you remember?” he asked, gently taking her hand in his.

“Remember?” Mrs. Brown looked at him perplexed.

“The baby. The baby we took from you last night.” Something was terribly wrong. A claw of dread inched its way up his spine.

Mrs. Brown twisted in agony. “I’m havin’ me babe now, doctor. Can’t ye help?”

Devlin looked to Melton for support and then saw Dr. Langford standing in the doorway observing his actions. He turned his full attention back to his patient, deciding to ignore whatever Langford might be thinking.

“I’m going to help you, Mrs. Brown.” He tucked back a piece of damp hair from the young woman’s face. “Get me some laudanum,” he ordered the attendant in the room. “Hurry!”

“I don’t want no potions,” she cried hysterically. “I want to hold me babe.”

Not knowing what else to do for his patient, he prayed for wisdom and opted for the truth. Holding the young woman’s hand tightly in his own, he said, “Mrs. Brown, look at me.”

She thrashed about in the bed and clutched her belly.

“Look at me! You had your baby last night. He… he died shortly after birth.”

“Yer lyin’. Yer lyin’! He’s ’ere in me belly.” Tears flowed down her flushed cheeks. “He’s ’ere.” She whimpered and clutched her abdomen with both hands as if it were full of life.

Devlin ached for the tiny woman who had no children.
God forgive me. I don’t know what else to do.
Reaching for the blanket that hid her empty womb, he quickly snatched away the covering. Though the hospital garments fully covered her body, the truth was evident.

“No!” She shuddered at the revelation of what Ravensmoore had exposed. She looked at her sunken, lifeless belly, horrified. “He’s gone? Me babe’s gone!” She broke into new waves of sobbing.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Brown. I’m sorry you lost your baby.” He knew that she was just beginning to accept the fact that her child had died. It was something he had to force her to acknowledge, force her to understand; otherwise she might be lost to the world of madness. Lost, as his mother had been lost, and lost as the girl Amanda was now. He said a silent prayer that the young woman would recover and perhaps someday be able to birth another child.

Devlin squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear, “Grieve and cling to hope.”

Devlin left his patient in the care of a competent attendant with strict instructions not to leave her alone lest she hurt herself in a moment of grief. He sent an aide to bring the vicar.

Langford awaited him in the corridor. “Nicely done, Ravensmoore. I believe you may actually become a good physician,” he said, his expression serious. “You, on the other hand,” he said as Melton approached, “may need further training.” Turning sharply he left them.

Melton groaned and looked at Ravensmoore. “It becomes increasingly difficult to remain your friend. You must stop showing me up. The idea of further training with Langford is enough to push one to the brink of despair.”

“Don’t despair, Melton.” He repressed a grin and slapped his friend on the back. “I won’t leave you behind. It would be unconscionable. Let’s get a cup of tea. It’s going to be another long day.”

Willie, the receptionist, approached them as they sat enjoying their refreshment. “Good mornin’, gentlemen. And a jolly good mornin’ it is to be sure. It would seem that Dr. Langford has a soft side after all and has granted you a reprieve and given you both two days’ holiday.”

Melton looked over his steaming cup. “It’s not nice to play jokes on us, Willie. Be careful, or we might decide to practice medicine on you and fix that bent nose of yours.”

Willie felt the tip of his nose. “But I’m not jestin’. He gave me instructions to search you out. Yer free for two days. After all, it is May Day,” he reminded them.

“Holiday!” Devlin stood up with one thing on his mind. Madeline. “Let’s get out of here before he changes his mind, Melton.”

“Wait for me.” Surprised at the sudden turn of events, Melton rocked back on his chair and tipped over, sending hot tea splashing across the floor. He lay sprawled at Devlin’s feet.

Devlin stared at his friend. “Come on, man, don’t you wish to see Lady Gilling today? She’s still at Richfield, is she not?”

Melton scrambled to his feet. “Lady Gilling is indeed at Richfield.”

Devlin grabbed him by the arm to steady him. “Do pull yourself together, Melton. Time’s a fleeting.”

They rode to Richfield together, but Devlin’s thoughts were private.
What must she think of me for staying away so long? What if she doesn’t understand? What if she doesn’t care for me?
His thoughts were such a confused jumble, he barely noticed the blossoming apple trees or the fresh green of the meadows. But when the huge stone manor of Richfield came into view, Devlin’s intelligence snapped into place, cautioning him to be wise.

Since the trip to Gretna Green, he and Madeline had written brief notes to each other. Nothing he could interpret as interest from her, but he held out hope that God might make a way for him to enter her life as more than a physician. He reminded himself that she had let the walls down for a short time while in the carriage.

Melton interrupted his thoughts. “Do you suppose they will be pleased to see us?”

“Let’s hope so. Doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder?”

“Perhaps.” Melton stretched his legs out of the stirrups.

At the manor two footmen appeared to care for their horses. Devlin and Melton took the steps two at a time. Phineas, the butler, answered the door.

Devlin stepped forward. “Kindly tell Lady Madeline that Lord Ravensmoore is here to see her, and that Mr. Melton is here to call upon Lady Gilling.”

Phineas carefully examined the two with a critical eye. “Yes, my lord. Follow me.” He directed them to the library.

A blur of pink fabric whirled past Devlin several moments later. Lady Gilling nearly ran him over in her haste to reach Melton.

“Mr. Melton.” Hally held out her hands in welcome. “How grand of you to come.”

“Countess. I must say, you look exquisite.” He took her hands in his and then offered her his arm. “Shall we take a turn about the gardens in celebration of May Day?”

“That would be lovely.” As they were about to exit the room, Countess Gilling turned. “Lord Ravensmoore.” She blushed and gave him a quick curtsy. “Do forgive me. I didn’t see you.”

Devlin bowed. “It is obvious your mind was elsewhere, madam.” He smiled as the pair departed for the gardens.

“They make a sweet couple, don’t you think?” Madeline said, entering the room, glowing in a golden gown. Her maid took a seat outside the room. “If absence makes the heart grow fonder, they should be quite smitten with each other, wouldn’t you agree?”

“So it appears.” Devlin bowed deeply. “Happy May Day, Lady Madeline.”

“Happy May Day, Lord Ravensmoore.” She curtsied. “Do sit down.”

He settled on the settee near the unlit fireplace, hoping she would join him. He would have preferred to walk with her, but she seemed distant, preoccupied. Had he simply imagined that she might care for him? Doubt began to gnaw away at the edges of his mind.

“How is your mother? I trust the first few weeks of marriage have suited her.”

“She seems quite happy, thank you.” She walked past him and pulled a cord. The butler entered the room. “Please bring sandwiches and drinks, and perhaps some strong tea for Lord Ravensmoore, Phineas.”

“At once, my lady.” He left the room after a curt bow.