Secrets (Swept Saga) (17 page)

I hang my head as I realize that he’s right. Who am I kidding? Gabriel is a great guy and he deserves someone who will be all his and really appreciate him. My face is wet from the tears running down my cheeks.

“Don’t cry,” Ryan says and hugs me. “I love you Crystal, regardless of what you’ve done, and I understand why. I’m not angry with you.” He soothes.

“You’re not angry with me?” I ask almost shocked.

“How could I be angry with you, when I love you so much?” He says and pulls my face up to his. He leans down and kisses me with the same heat and passion as he always has. I’m reassured by his kiss. He really does love me and he isn’t angry with me. I do however; feel like I’m walking around without my pants on now that my secret has been confronted.

“Ryan,” I start to apologize, and then decide against it. He’ll know it’s not a true apology.

“What?” He asks.

My mind scrambles to find a subject, any subject other than the current one, “I need clothes, for the party.” I blurt.

“What’s wrong with the ones you have?”

“They, um, don’t fit.”

“Oh,” he says, “Then I guess we’ll have to get you some nice clothes.”

Ryan

T
iffany texted me this morning as soon as Crystal left. I got her gun for her and she’s been anxious to get it. When she first asked me if I could help her out I thought she was crazy. Who needs a gun? She told me she was being stalked and would feel safe is she had one. I weighed the pros and cons and decided if she wanted it she could have it.

I had to pull some strings to get it for her. It’s a good thing I have connections, I was able to contact one of my dad’s business partners. He had a gun he was willing to sell and Tiffany had enough money. He pulled a revolver out of a drawer in his desk. The metal was black and the handle was wood.

“Is this unregistered?” I asked him.

“I wouldn’t sell you anything that is.” He answered.

“Ammo?” I asked as I fumbled with the mechanics of the gun. I’ve never fired one before let alone touch one.

He scooted a box of .45 caliber bullets towards me, “I’ve got you covered.”

I pulled the hammer back, trying to figure out how to open the cylinder where the bullets are held, and then my finger landed on the trigger. A loud pop sounded when the gun fired and the kickback was so strong that my hand flew into the air, hurting my wrist.

“What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me?” He asked.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I answered and rubbed my wrist. The gun was sitting on the table.

“You haven’t used one of these have you?” he asked.

“No, I haven’t” I mumbled feeling embarrassed.

“I’ll show you how to unload it and what it does.” He said and showed me everything about the gun. By the time he was done I was a pro. I could open the cylinder, I knew how to fire the gun and most importantly I knew where the safety was. I stowed the gun in my backpack thanked him for his help and left.

When I showed up at Tiffany’s dorm she immediately dragged me to her room and closed the door. She asked me how I got it and I shared the story with her. She was anxious to see it and was impressed by it. When she asked me if it would fit she was talking about her pocket. Of course it wouldn’t but I didn’t get the chance to answer her because that’s when Crystal barged into the room.

I could tell by the look on her face she was angry, but then her expression slipped to confusion. Then she began asking questions. Did it really matter why Tiffany had a gun? I had to change the subject before this got out of hand.

Of course I didn’t want to tell her that I knew she was screwing around with Gabriel but it was the first thing that came to my mind. The words left my mouth before I had a chance to stop myself. I didn’t mean to make her cry. I didn’t mean for the situation to feel awkward I just wanted to distract her about the gun. Now I’m worried I’ve said too much. I’m hoping that shopping for clothes will take her mind off everything.

I sent her off with Kelly to find something to wear. I wanted to make sure she could buy everything she wanted so I sent her with a lot of cash. I hope she had fun and I couldn’t wait for her to get back. I had plans already. My dad called me earlier and told me that he needed to talk to me. I could tell by the tone of his voice he was serious. Our plans were to meet at a restaurant in the area. I drove up and was nervous that his friend said something to him about the gun. Or maybe he wasn’t happy with me. It could be anything with my dad.

I parked the car and walked inside. I saw my dad sitting at a table his back was to me and I saw a frail thin woman sitting to his right. I passed the hostess and took a seat at the table. I had a closer look at the woman and I was shocked that she was my mother. “Oh my God, Mom!” I said, not even sitting down; just standing there with my mouth open staring at her. She looked up at me her eyes were tired, her skin was more wrinkled that I last remembered and she looked painfully pale.

“Oh Ryan! My boy! How are you?” She asked, and then tried to stand up. My Dad got up and helped her out of the chair. She reached out to hug me and I hugged her back. I couldn’t believe how thin she was. Something was wrong, even my dad looked stressed and worried.

“I’m great mom.” I answered. She kissed me on the cheek and we both sat down.

“Son, we need to talk” My dad said.

“Fiddlesticks, that can wait, Phil.” My mom said. “How’s college, dear?” She asked.

“It’s um, going well.” I answered.

“And your job?”

“Great never better.”

“What about Crystal? Anything new with her?”

“I sent her shopping today; we’re going to a party tonight.”

“That’s wonderful, dear. You know I was hoping you two would finally date each other. It warms my heart to know you two are finally together. You know I see her as a daughter that I never had?”

“I know mom.” I answered. It was hard for me to be chipper with my mother looking like death. I wanted to know what was going on, but I didn’t want to be rude.

My dad cleared his throat, “Michele, we’re going to have to tell him.” He mumbled. His face was stoic. I wasn’t looking forward to what they had to tell me.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Ryan, son.” My dad started.

“I’m going to die.” My mom said.

“What?” I asked.

“Michele.” My dad said and brought a hand up to his eyes.

“Well it’s the truth and I want to get it out of the way. There’s no sense in beating around the bush.” She said. I tried to speak but I could say anything. My mom was going to die? My mind was spinning with questions and I didn’t know how to react. I was sad and angry all at once. When did this happen? Why didn’t they say anything? My face felt wet and I realized I was tearing up. My mother, the one who took care of me; she always listened to me when I needed someone to talk to and she gave me advice. She kissed me on the cheek in front of all my classmates when I was in first grade. I was made fun of for weeks after that. My mother who would sleep in my bed with me if I needed her until I was eight. My mother whose face shined with pride when I graduated high school. She seemed fine just a few months ago, apart from the fall. “How?” I finally managed to ask through the tears that were gently streaming down my face.

“Cancer,” My dad said thickly. He was crying as well.

“What kind?” I asked.

“She has a very aggressive form of cancer. The name escapes me now, but…”

“Where is it?” I asked “Stomach, pancreas, colon?”

“A better question would be is where don't I have cancer.” My mother interjected.

“What she means is it’s wide spread.” My father said answering my next question.

“So,” I start to ask, but feel a lump in my throat. I don’t want to know the answer to this question but I’m going to find out one way or another. I swallow hard. “How long?” I asked, barely able to get the words out.

“She has…” My father starts, but he can’t finish. His voice breaks.

“I have less than a year.” My mother answers for my dad.

“What about chemo?” I ask, hoping that there is an answer. I can’t lose my mom.

“I’m going through treatment, but it’s not working very well.” My mother answers and my father just sits there. I could tell he was trying hard to maintain his composure.

“Why didn’t you tell me? When did you find out?” I asked

“Honey,” My mother said and grabbed my hand. “We found out at the hospital, after I fell. They ran a bunch of tests and discovered the tumors. We didn’t tell you because we didn’t have a time frame. We were hoping treatment would work, but so far there isn’t much change. We had to take time to process everything, and we didn’t want to distract you from school.”

“You found out months ago and you’re just telling me now?”

“Yes.”

“But you can fight this right? I mean there are all kinds of new treatment procedures and they can find something that will work.”

“Sweetie, I’ve looked into my options. There isn’t much I can do to reverse the cancer.”

“No, you’re not looking hard enough. You’re going to get better.” I told her. I was crying and I didn’t believe what I was saying. I could tell just by looking at her that she was telling the truth. “I don’t want to lose you.” She reached across the table and held me as I cried. I could hear sobs rise in her throat as well. We sat there like that together as a family holding each other and crying. Crying for the person that we would all sorely miss and crying for the future that’s ahead without her in it. I envision Christmas without her for a split second, and the image was too much for me to handle. Fresh tears streamed down my face all over again.

Eventually, the tears did stop, and we were able to return to normal conversation. Before I left my mother told me to make the most of my life and do the things I wanted to do and to not worry about the little things they would work themselves out. She also told me to be good to Crystal and understanding as well. She gave me one long hug before my dad escorted her away to the car. I watched as they drove away and I wondered if I would see my mom again.

I was heavy hearted. A bomb was dropped on me. How was I supposed to function after this? I remembered how much my mom loved seeing Crystal. I need to do something nice for her, for my mom’s sake. I already have a place planned to take her, but I want to give her something, too. Something that will knock her socks off. I go to a jewelry store looking for just the right thing. I looked in the glass cases and paused at the engagement rings. I would love to put on one Crystal’s finger, but I know she’s not ready for that yet. When she is ready though, I’m going to give her the best ring I can. I move on to the earrings, but decide against it. She doesn’t really wear them. I could give her a necklace, but it just doesn’t seem to fit the occasion.

Finally, I settle on the bracelets. I want something that’s just as beautiful as her. I decided against a bracelet with tiny chip diamonds. Sure it’s pretty but it just isn’t right. A sales associate stands behind the glass case, “Can I help you with anything?” he asks. 

“I’d like to see that bracelet.” I answered and pointed at a white gold bracelet with circular cut diamonds.

“That’s a very fine choice, sir.” The sales rep says and carefully lifts the bracelet out of the case. “This bracelet is fourteen karat white gold, and five carats total weight of diamonds, spanning seven inches in length.” He places the bracelet in my hands and I examine it. It shimmers in the light; I’m reminded of how Crystal’s eyes sparkle. This bracelet would suit her perfectly. I tell the sales rep that I want it and he rings me up. He even wrapped it up for me. It set me back a few grand, but that was okay. I was sure that Crystal would love it. What girl doesn’t like diamonds?

I had just enough time to pick up some flowers and chocolate before I had to get ready to pick Crystal up. I picked up a bouquet of the prettiest flowers I could find, and grabbed a box of imported chocolates. I drove back to my dorm and hopped in the shower. I was going to have to be quick if I was going to be on time to get Crystal.

Gabriel

I
was so excited when I saw my score for finals. I made a ninety one percent average. It’s the best semester grade I’ve ever had and it brought my total score up from a low B almost C to a solid B.