Secrets to Hide 2: Naughty Little Christmas (23 page)

“That mystical connection,” Cassie said. “Babies are good at sensing people’s true intentions.”

“Maybe.” Needing something to do with her hands, she hooked an ornament onto her shaking finger and removed it from the tree, followed by another and another. She’d intended to take the tree down this morning, but Damien’s visit had precluded everything. Now the order she imposed on the decorations helped her impose order on her jumbled thoughts and emotions.

“So what did he say?” Cassie asked.

Talking back over the morning’s conversation helped too. Helped her see where fear and resentment had compounded Damien’s demands, his harsh words. Oh, he’d been a dickhead, but normally she’d have met him head to head. This morning she’d whimpered like a kicked dog and retreated. Definitely not “begin as you mean to go on.”

“He’s trying to control a situation he feels is out of his control,” Cassie observed when she heard Damien’s ultimatums.

“He’s not the only one,” Harley said, feeling calmer as clarity filtered in. “Too bad I didn’t take control a lot sooner. He didn’t deserve to learn about her that way.”

Cassie pulled her down on the couch and squeezed her shoulders. “No, he didn’t,” she said softly but without judgment. They both knew Harley had done the wrong thing; there wasn’t any need to voice it. “But it is what it is, hon. There’s only one direction to go from here.”

Looking down at her hands, clenched into fists in her lap, Harley felt her heart squeeze just as tight. How could she still have tears left? But she did, because they dripped onto her hands, a silent reminder of what she’d lost.

“This isn’t just about Klio, is it?”

Cassie’s sixth sense seemed to be working overtime today. A strangled laugh escaped. “No.”

Cassie stayed quiet, letting Harley sort her thoughts, decide what she wanted to reveal. But really there was only one thing that mattered. “I love him.”

Cassie nodded.

“Guess it was obvious, huh?” Harley choked on another laugh. Her heart hurt so damn bad. “I’m so stupid. The man slept with my sister, and what do I do? Go and fall for him. Stupid Harley.”

“You’re not stupid,” Cassie said sharply. “Love isn’t stupid.” Forcing Harley to face her, Cassie stared deep into her eyes. “Love is a gift, one very few people get to keep.” A hint of sadness flickered in Cassie’s gaze.

Not knowing what to say, Harley waited.

“Whether Damien ever returns your feelings or not doesn’t matter. If you love him, you love him.”

“But I want…I want him to love me too.”

“Do you think he does?”

Remembering his eyes when he’d made love to her on Christmas Eve, Harley nodded. “But I ruined it. I was a coward.”
I hurt him. And me.

“Then you’ll just have to prove yourself again,” Cassie said, as matter-of-fact as if she’d just announced the menu for dinner.

“How?”

“He needs to be in control right now, so let him be in control.”

“But—”

“I’m not saying let him run all over you, but the only way to erase deceit is complete honesty. If he needs to push his way in here and set himself in the middle of your life, let him. Show him the real you, both with Klio and with him. Allow him unlimited access, to your home and your heart,” Cassie said quietly. “Let him really see you. Prove your trustworthiness that way.” She reached up, pushing Harley’s sweaty bangs away from her tearstained face. “He can’t help but see your true motives then. And how much you love him and Klio.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Harley said honestly. She hadn’t had much call for complete openness in her life up to now. And the way Damien had looked at her, talked to her—could she bare herself to him still?

Cassie just smiled her sweet smile. “I have faith in you.”

Those words struck Harley’s heart. The same words Cassie had used when Harley confessed her fear that she couldn’t be the kind of mother Klio needed. Cassie had been right then. Was it possible she was right now as well?

The two women were sitting in the kitchen, playing with Klio and downing ham sandwiches, when Damien returned that afternoon. Taking Cassie’s words to heart, Harley took a deep, deep breath, let it out, along with all the pain and bitterness and worry, and opened the door. She could do this. She’d do anything to prove to Damien she was worthy of the care he’d given her, care that maybe, eventually, could become love.

She wanted his love, not just for Klio but for herself. Desperately. And Cassie was right; this was her chance to get it.

Damien had a satchel in his hand and a grim look on his face. He was expecting a fight; she could see that. She wasn’t going to give him one.

“Come on in,” she said, stepping back. “You can put that in Klio’s room if you want. I don’t have a guest room, I’m afraid, but we’ll make do.”

Damien hesitated on the threshold, throwing her a suspicious look before walking in. He set his bag on the end of the couch.

Okay. “Are you hungry? We’re having lunch.”

His gruff “Sure” didn’t sound like he was, but she led him into the kitchen anyway. Cassie glanced up with her usual smile at their entrance.

“Damien, this is Cassie Chandler.”

Cassie stood, dusted her hands on her napkin, and stepped forward. “Nice to meet you, Damien.”

“And you,” Damien said, falling back on what Harley recognized as his professional persona. As she made him a ham sandwich, Damien sat at her tiny kitchen table and began to grill her friend with barracuda thoroughness. By the time she’d joined them, Harley was hard put not to laugh. Cassie, in typical Cassie fashion, had turned her sweet Southern charm on Damien, pulling his teeth, without seeming to, one by one.

“So you were raised in the South?” he asked as Harley set his plate in front of him. He eyed it like he wondered if it was poisoned.

Cassie had finished her food and now bounced a seated Klio gently on her knees. “All over Georgia, really. Mostly small towns. My family wasn’t keen on big cities.” She lifted Klio to stand on her thighs, holding the baby securely as she practiced putting weight on her legs.

Damien assessed Cassie’s handling of Klio with what was obviously a knowledgeable eye. “Where did you learn about kids?”

“I have younger siblings,” Cassie said. “You?”

“Nieces and nephews. I’m the youngest of four.”

“The baby!” Cassie giggled, a sound Klio mimicked as she drew her feet up and down in little imitation hops on Cassie’s legs.

Damien scowled, but Harley could see laughter in his eyes as he watched Cassie and Klio. A tiny drop of jealousy twisted in Harley’s gut before fizzling out. Cassie had a gift for setting people at ease, a gift that worked as a magic buffer on Damien’s mood. All she should be feeling right now was gratitude. Cassie showed not an iota of romantic interest in Damien, nor vice versa. And the way those dark brows curled over his clear brown eyes? It reawakened all the tingles the emotional roller coaster had plowed right over the last couple of days.

“So I hear you’re staying here for a few days to get to know your daughter.” The teasing glint in Cassie’s smile had that uh-oh instinct awakening in Harley’s gut.
Where are you going with this?

“I can’t think of any better way to do it,” Damien replied. He threw his crumpled napkin on his plate and reached for Klio, who happily transferred to her father’s arms.

“So where’s he gonna sleep, Harley?”

Harley closed her eyes.
That’s where she’s going
. When her eyes opened, two gazes were glued to her face, one amused, one with that sexy quirk of the brow. “The couch.”

“Really?” Damien asked.

“Really. If you think I’m giving up my bed, you’re nuts.”
Though if you want to share…

A flash of heat crossed Damien’s expression, spelling out clearly that his thoughts had traveled the same path as hers. We have hope, her brain shouted.

Damn. Rising from the table to hide the blush suddenly flooding her cheeks, Harley had a feeling the next few days were going to be very interesting.

The look on Damien’s face flashed before her. Very interesting indeed.

* * * *

Thursday night, the surreal quality of her life hit Harley right between the eyes. She was sitting at the table, watching Klio play with a toy across from her as she chopped vegetables for stir-fry, while Damien stood at the stove, cooking. She’d bought the ingredients just for him, remembering that while they were on the road, he’d ordered stir-fry at every available opportunity. He loved it; therefore, she must make it.

She could just hear some old Southern lady whispering in her ear about the way to a man’s heart. Was she really that desperate?

Um, yes.

That wasn’t the only surreal thing about tonight, though. No, it was Damien’s contentment that struck her most. As if the angry stranger from the weekend no longer had a stranglehold on their interactions. They’d spent as much time together this week as they had traveling, but even more than proximity, she had a feeling it was Klio that had softened the big lug right up. It wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot—there was still a tentativeness, a sense of feeling their way that shimmered between them—but it hadn’t been the hell she’d imagined when he walked in the door to stay five days ago.

“So are you planning on opening another location?” she asked. The onion sitting on her chopping board sliced open easily, and immediately her eyes began to water.

Damien’s back was turned, his focus on the wok full of meat sizzling in front of him. “I think any plans I have need to take a hiatus. My plate’s pretty full right now.”

And a lot different than it was when he’d made those plans. After all, it had a daughter on it now.

Damien huffed. Harley glanced over, wondering if she’d said that aloud. Surely not. “What?”

“I just realized…you said you quit Aftershock so you weren’t traveling every weekend with a child in tow, or worse, leaving her behind.”

“It just doesn’t seem fair to Klio.”

“I guess I understand now more than I did before.” He shifted to the other foot, and part of his face came into view. A fierce frown marred the sexy curve of his mouth. “Traveling isn’t optional with my business any more than it is for musicians.”

Ya think?
It had become more than clear over the past week that she loved Damien with a crazy-making intensity, but sometimes men were idiots. “And yet many musicians manage to find a balance.”
Especially with partners.

Damien didn’t respond. Instead he emptied the meat into a nearby bowl, then reached for the veggies she’d cut for him. Tossing them into the super-hot wok, he asked, “Would you go back to it if you could?”

Harley’s gaze rested on Klio, swinging in her automatic swing on the other side of the table.
No, no way
. “I think, if there was any way to still be a musician and do what was best for Klio, I would jump at the chance. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed the music until we were practicing for the New Year’s Eve show.” Memories of all that had happened that night had her clearing her throat and moving on hastily. “But I couldn’t tour; that’s all there is to it.” For a musician, the ability to play concerts was their bread and butter. Her music would have to be personal now instead of public, though maybe she could talk Damien into allowing the occasional show at the club.

She was still pondering the idea when Damien finished the veggies and announced dinner done. They worked together to fill plates and cups. By the time they were ready to eat, Klio was crying.

Damien groaned.

“Well, guess it’s time to try out Cassie’s suggestion.”

“What was that?” Damien crossed to the swing and scooped Klio up against his chest. There was just something about tiny Klio cuddled against Damien’s broad, masculine pecs that really did it for Harley. It made her melt and made her hot. Sometimes an uncomfortable mix, but she was learning mommies had sex drives too, even when in full-on mommy mode. She had no idea what that would be like when Klio was old enough to understand the look on her face, but hopefully by then she—and Damien, please God—would’ve figured out what was appropriate. She tried to hide the grin that thought engendered, but Damien chose that moment to look up. A quirked eyebrow was his only response.

Klio let out a wail.

“Crap, right.” Harley went to the cabinet. Pulling out a box of baby cereal, she told Damien over her shoulder, “Cassie said Klio might be crying at mealtimes because the smell of the food tells her she’s hungry.”

“But she doesn’t eat solid food yet.” His voice was raised slightly over Klio’s baby wails.

Harley shrugged. If it meant they got to eat without anyone crying, she’d try it. She added a small amount of water to the cereal to make a milky paste. “Wanna grab her bouncy seat?”

A few minutes later they were settled in at the table, Damien and Harley with their plates, Klio strapped into her seat with a bib over her onesie. “Let’s give this a try, little one,” Harley murmured, scooping a tiny padded baby spoon into the mix and bringing it to Klio’s quivering lips. The baby accepted the food without comment, though her tongue worked a bit backward, attempting to suck but in actuality pushing the cereal out instead of in. It took a few bites and a couple of drinks of milk from her bottle, but eventually Klio caught on, and she happily downed a couple of tablespoons of food while her parents ate a much quieter meal than expected.

“It worked!” Damien had the strangest look on his face, a mix of
thank God
and mistiness, as if he’d just realized he was witnessing one of his daughter’s “firsts” for the very first time. He’d missed close to four months of her life. Harley shared a grin with him, happy he was finally there to experience all the new things Klio would learn and do in the years ahead. Would they experience them together? she wondered. Or were they destined to a fate similar to a divorced couple, handing off custody every week to get to spend time with their child? Her fear that Damien would take Klio away had dissipated over the past few days, but with nothing set between them, the future was still uncertain.

“Why don’t you go clean up while I take care of Squirt here?” Damien said, grinning at the mess across Klio’s face and hands and clothes.