Seduced by the Baron (The Fairy Tales of New York Book 4) (24 page)

And he’d wanted to tell her. He’d wanted to grab her and shake her and say
I love you, goddamn it
but he couldn’t do it. Not here. In a hospital. Where her father lay in a coronary care bed after having a heart attack. Where she was worried and stressed and frightened about his future.

It was insensitive to what she was going through. And crass. And it could come off as sounding disingenuous. An afterthought. Like he was saying it because of the situation not because it was how he felt with every fiber of his being.

When he told her – and he
would
tell her – he didn’t want any other distractions. Any other obstacles she could throw in his path. He wanted her to listen, to
know
, that he meant every one of those three little words and he was here for the long haul.

He didn’t have a clue how that would even work but he knew as sure as he knew the sun rose over the ocean at Coogee that he’d figure it out. Whatever it took.

Henri had been right. Faith was a keeper.

He’d never told
any
woman he loved her so this whole thing was new to him but he knew instinctively this was not the time or place to do it. This was too big, too important to screw with.

Too important to screw up.

*

Raf bumped into
Mercy in the corridor leading to the coronary care unit half an hour later. “Faith back in with JP?” he asked.

She nodded. “I don’t think we’ll be able to pry her out again. What are your plans?”

Raf grimaced, leaning his shoulder against the nearby wall. “She wants me to leave.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“I can’t.” He shrugged. “I want to be here for her.”

“She’s frightened, Raf,” Mercy said, squeezing his arm. “And angry. And it doesn’t matter how many times we tell her this isn’t her fault, she feels guilty about not being there last night.”

“Yes,” he sighed. He hated that what had happened between them last night was always going to be tinged with regret for her. And him. “I know.”

Mercy dropped her hand. “Aren’t you going back to Australia tomorrow?”

“Yes. I have a bunch of important meetings coming up with some overseas investors and a two-week European trade mission but…I’m sure I can sort something out to stay here for a bit longer.”

Mercy looked at him with compassion and understanding in her eyes but also with that shrewd practicality he’d seen her use when it came to business. “You really have fallen hard for her, haven’t you?”

He shot her a wan smile. “Is it that obvious?”

“You should go,” she said.

Raf frowned. “What? I thought you’d be on my side, Mercy Hernandez.”

Mercy smiled a sympathetic smile. “Trust me when I tell you that I mean this in the nicest possible way but…She’s not ready for you, Raf. For this. Not right now with everything that’s happening with JP. I know her, she’s going to throw everything she has into helping her father get better. She doesn’t have the space for you or anything she might be feeling for you right now and she’s just going to box it all away. Go and do what you have to do then come back the first chance you get. Let the dust settle. Give her some space. Some time. Let her
miss
you. Let her realize what she’s turning her back on.”

Raf let Mercy’s words sink in. The businessman recognized them for what they were. Smart, savvy advice from a woman who was one of Faith’s closest friends. But the
man
wanted to reject every one of them.

Fortunately, the businessman won out.

Raf knew that guy. He trusted that guy. And Mercy too. The businessman knew that sometimes retreat was the best form of attack. He didn’t know this new guy – the lovesick one. Except that he wasn’t terribly wise or rational and that scared him.

“You’re right,” he huffed out on a sigh.

Mercy smiled and gave him a quick hug. “I wish I wasn’t.”

Raf laughed. “Me too.”

“I’ll keep you up to date with what’s happening with JP if you like.”

He nodded. “Thanks.” He didn’t expect Faith would.

Raf kissed her on both cheeks and turned to go with a heavy heart. He felt like he was cutting and running, like he was quitting and it didn’t sit right. He wasn’t a quitter. He had a scar on his chin to prove it. But he had to trust Mercy’s judgement.

And it was only temporary
.

He told himself that over and over as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away. His fingers came into contact with something metallic and he grabbed it. “Wait,” he said, turning back to Mercy. “She left this.”

He held up the single earring he’d found in bed beside him this morning. Mercy smiled at him. “Keep it. And bring it back with you.”

Raf stared at it for long moments as Mercy walked away before closing his fist around it.

He would keep it
and
he’d bring it back.

*

A few days
later Faith was so worried about her father’s despondency and lack of progress she was at her wits’ end. She’d suspected he’d be like this but part of her had hoped that this heart attack would have had a positive effect as Casey had suggested.

But her father was lying in a hospital bed refusing to see reason, talking about the end being close now and seeing his Kathleen again. About being ready. He was refusing to eat and getting him to mobilize was like trying to cajole a recalcitrant child.

The doctors had been very positive about his prognosis
if
he had the operation but he was still stubbornly refusing.

The upside of dealing with Pop every day was that she hadn’t had a lot of mental time and energy to mope about Raf. He texted a few times but she hadn’t answered any of them. What was the point in prolonging something that had always had a best before date?

She was sure one day she’d be able to look back on their time together with fondness, that she’d be able to smile wistfully at their magical month together. But right now her love was a little too raw.
Everything
was raw. Pop’s health and Raf’s departure had combined to form the perfect emotional storm and at the moment she was just hiding in the cellar praying for it to pass.

A physical therapist, who deserved a medal, came after lunch and cajoled a cantankerous Pop out of bed. The rest of the family arrived while he was doing his walk down the corridor.

“How is he?” Zel asked as they waited for him to return.

She shrugged. “The same.”

They all chatted about options for getting the pub open again until Pop returned to the room out of breath and ill of temper. He sat on the edge of the bed shooing the poor therapist away.

“Good to see you up and walking, Pop,” Ty said.

“Is it?” he asked testily.

“Of course,” Finn said with a nod. “The sooner you’re up and about, the sooner you can get out of here.”

“Faith,” he ordered. “Help me get my damn legs back on the bed.”

Dawn and Zel exchanged a look with Faith. “I can do that Pop,” Ty said, “I’m closest.”

“I said Faith,” Pop snapped.

Faith bit her tongue for about the hundredth time in the last few days. Pop wasn’t well and it was making him cranky but he was getting awful close to getting a piece of her mind. She helped her father swing his legs around.

“Do you want a blanket on?” she asked. “It’s cold here at the moment.”

Pop gave a frustrated little growl at the back of his throat, pushing at the blanket as Faith tried to put it on his bed. “Just leave it, Faith,” he barked. “Just leave me. All of you,” he said looking at them with wild eyes. “Just go home and get on with your lives.”

Looks were exchanged around the room. “Don’t talk like that, Pop,” Casey said.

“Like what?” he demanded. “I’m old. My life is over. I just want to be with your mother now.”

A pressure that had been slowly building in Faith’s chest since the morning after the ball suddenly spiked into the danger zone. She couldn’t take any more of her father’s morbid self-pity. Yes, he wasn’t well. He was depressed after his heart attack and wasn’t thinking straight. But he wasn’t dead yet and there was no reason for him to be so if he only agreed to help himself.

She’d said good-bye to one man she loved this week. She’d be damned if she’d just sit there while another one tried to check out.

“Pop,” she spat, so angry with him suddenly she wasn’t rational. “Don’t you dare lie there and tell me your life is over. That you want to be with Mom. Mom would kick your ass if she could hear you.”

“
Faith
!” Her father’s shock at her choice of language and her tone of voice was evident.

“There are people out there,” Faith said, pointing in the direction of the door, “that have cancer and other conditions where no matter how much they fight they’re still going to die so don’t you dare tell me when there’s something that
can
be done about yours that you’re just giving up.”

Faith could hear her voice getting louder and reined it in. “You have
everything
to live for. Sure, Mom’s not around anymore and I know how much you miss her but you have
all
of us who need you
and
the pub. And if that’s not enough for you – ”

Faith broke off, her chest heaving, her heart belting along like an Amtrak as her family stared at her like she was losing her head. Perhaps she was. And perhaps it was about time.

It felt good. She’d been wanting to scream for three days and this was so damn therapeutic.

“You’re about to become a grandfather. Dawn is pregnant. And I sure as hell hope that’s enough for you because Mom would definitely kick your ass if it wasn’t.”

Everyone turned to stare at Dawn including Pop. “Is that true?” he asked.

Dawn slid her hand onto her belly as Finn nodded. “Due in September.”

Faith was going to have to apologize to Dawn later about breaking their news but desperate times called for desperate measures. “September,” Faith reiterated, her voice sharp, drawing the attention back to herself. “So stop fucking around, Pop and get the damn surgery already.”

And with that, she stormed out of the room.

*

Two weeks later
at nine in the morning Faith bounded down the stairs from the apartment on a mission. The last two weeks on her own while Pop was in the hospital had been an emotional rollercoaster but she’d also had a lot of time to think about the direction of her life. And with Pop, having sailed through surgery and ready to come home it was time to make some changes.

There was nothing she could do about Raf. He’d gone and it was probably for the best. What was that old saying about people coming into your life for a reason? Raf had shown her what she was missing and broken her out of her rut. He’d never been destined to stay. He’d been a wake-up call.

A catalyst, as Dawn would say.

Something to chalk up to experience and all that.

One day she’d probably even look back at their time together with fondness. Without the heaviness in her chest and the deep, hollow ache that gnawed at her insides.

But if heartbreak had taught her anything, if
Raf
had taught her anything, it was that she couldn’t back to where she’d been before him.

It was time to reclaim her life.