Seduced in the Dark (51 page)

Hugs,

Sophia

Caleb searched the rest of the messages, but
didn’t find any dated after Livvie’s email. Apparently, Nicole had
moved on, and Livvie had let her. Perhaps, Caleb thought, he should
do the same with Livvie, but his heart had been claimed. He needed
to know if she still loved him, or if he’d been right and
everything she had felt for him had been based on her need to
survive.

He’d agonized over whether or not he should
seek her out. He knew her answer could destroy him, but he needed
to know. He needed to know if she suffered without him, as much as
he suffered without her. If she loved him, he wanted to spend the
rest of his life trying to be worthy of her. If she didn’t, he
could at least take solace in knowing he’d made the right decision
in setting her free.

Caleb looked at the girl sitting outside the
café. Did he even know her anymore? Could she sense her life as she
knew it hanging precariously in the balance? Could she feel his
eyes on her? Did she have a sixth sense for monsters? The thought
made him sad.

He’d been here before. He’d done
this
, before. He shouldn’t be watching her. He shouldn’t be
contemplating thrusting himself back into her life. He still had
work to do, women to free from the slavery he had subjected them to
live through.

He looked at the girl one last time.

I love you, Livvie.

He put the key in the ignition and drove
away.

***

Day 392: Madrid, Spain

It’s just a feeling, but I’ve been having it
for a while. Someone’s been watching me. I’ve been in touch with
Reed and he’s dutifully put out some feelers to find out if I might
be in danger. He’s supposed to meet me in a few days, under the
guise of following a counterfeiting case. In the meantime, he wants
me to behave normally. He doesn’t want whoever’s following me to
know I’m on to them.

Reed says he’s heard reports of someone
targeting Rafiq’s known associates. Rafiq has been missing for over
a year and his government is none too happy about it. They think
the FBI has something to do with his disappearance. Of course, they
can’t prove it. Reed doesn’t seem too bent out of shape about it
though. The culprit is apparently some sort of vigilante. He’s
freed eighteen women from sexual slavery.

When I first heard the news, I immediately
thought it might be Caleb and my heart felt like someone had
squeezed it in their fist. Reed didn’t say it, but I thought he
might suspect it was Caleb, too. It was in the way he asked me if I
had any idea who might be responsible, or if anyone had been in
touch with me.

“James Cole is dead,” I had whispered.

“Yes,” Reed replied, “I hope he has enough
sense to stay that way.”

I want to agree with Reed, but in my heart,
I know what I really want. I want it to be Caleb. I want to know
he’s alive. I want to know he’s out there trying to correct some of
his mistakes. More than anything, I want to see Caleb again.

I’d contemplated killing myself early on,
but then I’d hear Caleb’s voice in my ear, telling me to survive,
that it was the coward’s way out. So, I’d taken the money Caleb had
left for me and decided to see the parts of the world I’d heard so
much about and thought I’d never lay eyes on.

The last year has been a whirlwind. I’ve
lost so much and only now have I started to get some of it back. To
date, I’ve seen four of the seven wonders, and I have plans to see
the pyramids before the year is out. I have a job, working as a
waitress at an Applebee’s of all places. Who comes to Barcelona to
eat at an Applebee’s? I don’t care though, it’s work and it pays
for my classes at European University Barcelona, where I’m studying
creative writing.

I don’t like to rely on Caleb’s money, so I
have a financial advisor who invests it for me and looks after my
affairs. Each month, I receive a generous stipend to supplement my
income from working as a waitress.

Things were really hard at first, but it
continues to get easier if I take my life and break it up into
small increments. I wake up, take a shower, brush my teeth, get
dressed, and go to work. I meet people and I’ve even managed to
make some friends. I met Claudia and Rubio in line for a screening
of
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
. Claudia had been dressed
as Colombia, and her boyfriend as Riff Raff. I didn’t dress up.

They’re great friends. They don’t ask me
questions about my past and I don’t offer any information. Mostly,
we like to hang out after work and drink pitchers of sangria
outside
El Gallo Negro
. They serve the best chicken/seafood
paella I’ve found anywhere. After we get good and sauced, we
usually go see the latest movie or go back to my place and play
Rock Band on my PlayStation.

My friends may not ask about my past, but
they’re always interested in my present and future. They often try
to set me up with their other friends, but I firmly resist. It
isn’t that I don’t want a boyfriend, I do, but I’m not ready.

Caleb still fills my dreams and stars in
each and every one of my fantasies. I still have the picture Reed
gave me, and so, I can still imagine his face with perfect clarity
as I touch myself. Sometimes soft and slow, reaching for climax
like one stretches after a good nap. Sometimes, I like it fast and
rough. I pinch my nipples hard and rub my clit while I push my
fingers deep inside my pussy and play Caleb’s words in my head.

“
Is that good, Pet?” he asks.

“
Yes, Caleb,” I answer.

I never mention Caleb to Claudia or Rubio.
My memories and fantasies are my own business, but I think Claudia
can tell whenever I miss Caleb. She smiles and reaches for my hand.
She reminds me I don’t have to be lonely.

I’ve been thinking about Caleb more
frequently in recent months. Ever since I thought I felt his eyes
on me one day outside of a café in Germany. I’d been sitting
outside, typing on my laptop. Then again, I’d been writing about
him.

I’ve been writing our story for over a year,
every detail I can remember. I know I’m not supposed to talk about
what happened with the public, but it’s occurred to me how many
people want to hear my story. Why shouldn’t I be able to tell it?
I’m not a complete idiot. I’ve changed all the names and locations.
I’ve decided to market the book as fiction. And of course, I have a
pseudonym. The important thing for me is people read it and perhaps
understand why I’m still in love with the man who kept me
prisoner.

I know all about James Cole. Reed can be a
dick, but his heart is usually in the right place. He told me as
much as he could. I’ve deduced the rest. At first, I felt gutted by
everything I had learned. I had called Caleb a monster, but he’d
only been doing the things he’d been taught to do.

I often think about the day he’d walked into
the room, covered in dirt, smeared with blood, and devastated by
whatever he’d done to get that way. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind
he’d killed Rafiq. I just wish he’d known his tears had been
wasted. I wonder if the reason Caleb pushed me away was because he
felt guilty over what he’d done to Rafiq to save me. Perhaps, if
he’d known what a true monster Rafiq was, he’d have taken me with
him instead of throwing me out of his life. Then again, maybe
not.

“You have that ‘lost in space’ look again,”
Claudia says as she takes the seat opposite me at our table. “One
day you’re going to have to tell me what that’s about. I know it
has to be a boy.” She moves her eyebrows up and down.

I smile at her, “You’re late. Where’s
Rubio?”

“He ran into his friend, Sebastian. I think
they’ll be here in a bit.”

“Claudia,” I groan, “How many times do I
have to tell you? I’m not interested in a hook up.”

“It’s not! I swear, it was a total accident.
We were on our way here and they ran into each other.” She quickly
pours herself a glass of sangria and starts sipping. She’s a
terrible liar. “Besides, he’s gorgeous. He’s a student at EUB and
he wants to be an artist. He’s good too, Rubi and I saw some of his
paintings.”

“I have to go,” I say and start gathering my
things. I am definitely not in the mood to deal with another
‘accidental’ blind date.

Claudia rolls her eyes and tugs me back down
into my seat. “Don’t be rude, Sophia. Rubi wouldn’t set you up with
a troll. Come on, stay for one pitcher.”

“So, it
is
a set up then!” I scowl at
Claudia and she doesn’t even blush.

“Yes, okay, you got us. We’re terrible
friends for wanting to see you happy.” She tosses her hands in air
sarcastically.

“I
am
happy, Claudia. I’d be a lot
happier if you guys would stop setting me up.” I cross my arms over
my chest, but I know I can’t stay angry.

“Excuse me, Sophia,” interrupts the waiter.
His name is Marco and he knows our little group pretty well. He’s
asked me out a couple of times, but I always say no.

“What’s up, Polo?” I say with a smile. He
hates his nickname.

“Very funny. Somebody asked me to give you
this,” he says and hands me a piece of paper.

“Ooooh, a secret admirer!” Claudia says.
Both Marco and I blush, but only Marco has the luxury of walking
away from an awkward situation.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” I say to
Claudia, but she just smiles.

I open the note and I only have to read the
first sentence to know whom it’s from.

I can’t imagine what you must think of
me…

I stand up so quickly, I knock over the
pitcher of sangria and it shatters on the floor. My heart is
beating in a frantic, but familiar rhythm. Claudia is up on her
feet, trying to get me to acknowledge her, but I’m too busy
scanning the crowd for him. He’s here somewhere. He’s here! I don’t
see him and I want to scream. I can’t lose him again. I can’t!
Already, there are tears in my eyes. I look down at the note:

And I don’t expect you’ve forgiven me.
Still, selfishly, I have to ask you, are you glad I made you get
out of the car? Was I right? Was everything you felt for me on
account of my manipulation? If so, please know I am deeply sorry.
That I will NEVER bother you again – I swear you’ll never have
cause to fear me. But if I was wrong, if you still care for me –
meet me? Paseo de Colon, San Sebastia tower, eight o’ clock
tonight.

- C

“I have to go, Claudia,” I say.

“Wait! What happened? Talk to me, Sophia,”
Claudia shouts after me.

I’m already half way down the block. As I
run, I look around me. Is he watching me? Is it really him? Should
I call Reed? It could be a trap, but I don’t think so. Only Caleb
would know about our last conversation. It’s him. I know it in my
fucking bones.

I’m in tears by the time I reach my
apartment. I look at the clock. It’s only four o’clock. I have four
whole hours to wait. I’ve waited an entire fucking year, but these
last four hours are going to be torture.

Epilogue

James swallowed thickly as the stared at the
words on the screen.

As I walked, I could feel his eyes on me,
the way I could always feel his eyes on me. Tears ran down my face
unabashed, but I didn’t move to wipe them away. I had earned those
tears, and I would wear them as a symbol of everything I had been
through. They represented all the pain I had suffered, the love I
felt, and the ocean of loss sweeping through my soul. I had finally
learned to obey and never looked back.

The End

Sophia had written a very tragic love story,
but it was a love story just the same. She had been very generous
to him, painting a far better picture of the man he had been than
he would have. She’d been working for weeks, sequestered in her
little room upstairs. He wasn’t allowed in there, and though he
didn’t like it, he respected Sophia’s wishes. He respected all her
wishes these days.

Several hours ago, she’d flown into the
kitchen and thrown her arms around him.

“Why are you smiling, Kitten? Did you
finally finish?” James asked.

“Yes! I finished,” she said and followed up
with a little dance. She’d immediately dragged him upstairs and
planted him in front of the laptop so he could start reading. There
wasn’t another chair, so she’d gotten down on her knees and rested
her head on his knee.

As he read, he stroked her hair. James had
been scared to read everything from Sophia’s point of view, but he
was glad he’d made it through and discovered just how Sophia
remembered everything. She loved him, he was sure of it and while
he still didn’t think he deserved it, he was happy about it
nonetheless.

He once again gazed on her sleeping form,
unable to resist shifting her hair away from her face and behind
her ear. Her mouth was slack, and he was sure she had drooled on
him, but it didn’t matter. She was the most beautiful thing he had
ever seen. He couldn’t help but stroke her. He loved the soft
noises she made when he did. He didn’t deserve her. He never
did.

She’d been with him for over a year now, and
secretly he always hoped she would tire of him and decide to leave.
She told him she loved him often, and each time, it cut him down to
his core. He didn’t deserve her love. He couldn’t bring himself to
pretend he did.

When he’d learned she’d been writing their
story, he helped her in any way he could. It was his outlet as much
as hers. He needed to see it in black and white, the pain he put
her through, the monster he had been. He never wanted to forget
what he could never allow himself to become again.

Since the night Sophia had met him at the
Paseo
, the night he had decided to leave everything behind
and integrate into mainstream society, so much of him had changed.
Away from the horrors of his youth, away from blood and vengeance,
he was just – James.