See How She Runs (25 page)

I screamed out, hoping the pitch of my voice
might deter them. In a matter of seconds, I was swallowed up. Their
spiny legs poking me as their pincers searched for a tender spot to
pierce. They struck time after time. Pain radiated throughout my
body. I was petrified and I knew that I must be dying.

Suddenly it all stopped.

**********

“
Did you like that one?" Xavier asked. “I
have ever so many more. Your mother did not like that one at all
either.”

I screamed out. I knew that this torture
would continue until I caved or I died of heart failure. I could
hold out for the latter. I would hold out for it. I would not let
this man win. He might have me in the dreaming, stuck in some mad
man’s induced nightmare, but I would not cave.

**********

Suddenly, I was drowning deep in the ocean.
I swam upward, and time after time the air was torn from my grasp.
I frantically swam, and as soon as the surface would come into
reach, I was shoved deeper into the water. It continued until I
thought my lungs might physically explode.

**********

I was in a house and flames erupted around
me. I looked for a safe escape but could not find one. Instead the
flames sought me out. I tried to run, only to be stopped by another
wall of raging inferno. I stood still, knowing that there would be
no escape and praying that this would be the one that would end me.
I felt the flames melt away my skin and deaden my nerves so that I
could no longer feel the raging pain. I embraced the fire and let
it eat away at my sadness. I let it consume me and fill me with the
burning rage I had carried earlier. I let it kill the girl that had
wanted to die only seconds ago.

**********

As soon as I embraced the fire it was
extinguished. I was now in the woods, in the dark. There were
hungry sounding animals close on my trail. I ran blindly through
the thick underbrush, not knowing what direction I was heading. My
heart pounded in my throat as I ran and ran and ran. I felt a pull
at my ankle as a wolf bit down hard. I lost my footing and tumbled
over. As one the pack of wolves moved in on me, seeking out their
choice morsel. I felt them gnaw and gnash into me, as if to tear me
in a thousand directions. I felt my body come apart and I once
again let the rage consume me.

**********

“
Are you ready to talk yet pet?" Xavier
asked.

I looked up defiantly and flipped him the
bird. I would make him run out of nightmare scenarios. I could
survive them all. No matter how graphic or horrifying, I would not
let this man win. I would not cave, and I would not die. Either way
he would have won. So instead, I resolved myself to live on and
defy him in this small way.

**********

Next it was a torture room in which all of
my fingers were cut off. This one made me think he had seen one too
many "Saw" movies. All of which I had avoided because, just yuck. I
did not spend long in there. I think he could tell I was not
impressed.

**********

Scene after scene passed before me. There
was a plane crash, a car wreck, a fall from the top of a building.
Scene after scene passed. My body was abused, burned, cut, limbs
were severed. Every nightmare was brought into fruition. I did not
know how much time passed while I was there. I could not tell if
this was moving at real time or if it was moving at the pace of a
regular dream.

Each new nightmare brought on a new horror
until finally he brought one that even I could not refute. Not even
in the dreaming. He took me and locked me in a coffin. I laid there
as the air slowly started to seep out of the box leaving me without
any oxygen. I fought against the box and struggled. I knew that he
would leave me like this. I knew that if I did not lift my wards, I
would spend the rest of my life in this tiny lightless box.

I tried to breathe but ultimately I think I
blacked out. I did not even know that was possible in the dreaming,
but I guess the mind could only take so much. When I awoke I was
still in the small box and I tried to even my breathing. It was
just a closed space. It was not even a real closed space. I tried
to convince myself, but my mind would not allow it. My breathing
started to speed up again when I heard a voice.

**********

“
Izzy, Izzy, you have to wake up. Your
guy is here, but there is something happening. You have to wake up.
Fight it, they came for you, now make it worth them coming. It is
not real. You can control it as much as he can. FIGHT IT!" I heard
Molly yell before she was ripped from the dreaming.

I struggled and started to feel the dreaming
around me. I realized with my ward down I could shape it as easily
as I always could. I took a breath and calmed my mind. I had to get
out. With the image of Kennan driving me, I imagined the coffin
opening. The lid crashed open. I shot out of the coffin and raged
against whatever was keeping me in the dreaming.

I ripped at it until I was finally brought
back to the surface and I woke up to find a whole new horror.

**********

TWENTY FIVE

I turned my head to see Xavier standing over
Kennan’s prone form. I wondered if I was still in the dreaming.
There was no way he would have taken him down so easily. I looked
for any sign of blood but did not see any. Then I looked at Xavier
and realized he had been waiting for me to wake up.

I looked down at his hand and saw a gun
pointed straight at Kennan. Before I could even scream, Xavier
smiled in my direction and pulled the trigger. It hit Kennan in the
throat and then he fired again hitting him in the chest. There was
so much blood.

I was drowned in it, a whole new horror
replacing all of the nightmares that Xavier had induced. He had
just brought them to reality and I was overtaken by a haze of red.
I was numb to the pain. No longer could I hurt, he had just taken
away the one person that was my entire world.

I pulled the mechanism from my head slowly,
ripping the tubes from my arms in the process. I sat up on the
bench as Xavier approached me. I reached behind me discreetly to
grab a scalpel from the table. I waited for him to get as close as
he was going to.

“So are you finally ready to submit?" he
asked, bending over me.

With the numbness pulsing through my veins
and the rage of a lifetime of loss fueling me, I lashed out. I drew
the scalpel across his jugular with an accuracy borne of countless
hours of training with Ian. I severed his artery and as he fell to
his knees in surprise, I pushed him over. I hopped down from the
table in the hospital gown and I straddled him. I made sure he was
looking at me as his life blood flowed from him.

“Never," I said as I plunged the scalpel
straight into his heart, ending his long life.

I sat that way, paralyzed for I don’t know
how long. I felt as though my whole world had been stolen.
Suddenly, being trapped in a coffin did not seem like such a bad
thing. I looked down at my hands covered in blood and tried to wipe
them off on my gown violently. No matter how hard I wiped it would
not come off. I started to become frantic and realized I was still
sitting atop Xavier’s body. I jumped up and away and found myself
staring in abject horror towards Kennan’s lifeless body.

I stood there, unsure of what I was supposed
to do now. How was I supposed to save anyone if I could not even
save the one person I loved? My world felt like it was falling
apart and all I could do was stand there dumbly.

“Izzy? Izzy, are you alright?" I heard
someone ask softly from behind me.

I turned to find Ian staring at me like I
would attack him at any moment. He had his hands in the surrender
position and approached me slowly. I looked into his eyes and
wanted so badly to scream out or to cry. Any sort of emotion that
could convey the emptiness I now felt. Finally, I pointed towards
Kennan’s prone body.

“Shit," Ian shouted before rushing over
toward him. He was followed by several other tall men that I could
only assume were Guardians. Everything felt as though it was moving
in slow motion. It was almost as if we were all suspended in some
sort of viscous fluid. Ian knelt down by Kennan and assessed his
wounds while I stood, rooted, unable to move. I felt someone come
up beside me and put their arm around me. I looked over to find
Molly looking at me with tears streaming down her face.

“I need medical in here now. He is still
alive, but barely," Ian shouted orders to anyone who would listen
while trying to treat Kennan’s wounds.

The floor suddenly rushed out from under me
and I landed on my knees. The air came back into my lungs with a
rush. Kennan wasn’t dead. He was still alive. Even if it were just
barely, he was alive. I crawled toward his body, leaving Molly in
my wake. My only concern was to get to Kennan, to tell him I loved
him before he left. He had to know.

I got about five feet from him when the
medical team rushed in and moved everyone to the side.

“No," I said, barely a whisper.

“What is it Izzy? What’s wrong?" Molly
asked, concern lacing her voice.

“WAIT!" I shouted as I shoved my way toward
his body. I would be damned if I did not get this out. I knew that
it might be my last chance to ever tell him the truth. After all I
had been through, I would not take this moment for granted.

“Guys, give her a second," I heard Ian
plead. “Better make it fast, Little Bit. We need to move him.”

I nodded before kneeling down by Kennan’s
head. I brushed my fingers through his hair as I took a deep
breath. There was so much blood. I knew I had to be fast. I bent
down to where my lips brushed his ear.

“Damn you, Kennan O’Malley. Don’t you dare
die. Do you hear me? I love you. More than anyone I have ever
loved, and if you leave me now, I will never forgive you. So you
fight, damn it, and you live. You live, because without you I am
lost. So please, if you ever felt anything for me at all, fight.
Fight and live," I pleaded quietly in his ear.

The tears that had refused to fall earlier
started coming in great heaves. I felt as though my throat were
starting to close in on itself. I couldn’t seem to get enough air
between sobs. I felt strong arms wrap around me and lift me up like
I was a small child. I looked up to see Ian’s face.

“I’ve got you. Don’t worry, we will take
care of him, Izzy. But we need to get you taken care of as well."
He looked down at me with a seriousness I only saw during our
training. I just sobbed into his chest and clung to him like he was
a life raft.

“Wait," I said, suddenly realizing I had
more to worry about than just myself.

“What is it?" Ian asked confused.

“What about all of the others? We have to
help them," I hiccupped between cries.

“We’ve got it now. The Council has sent
reinforcements. Everyone is going to get checked out and then
brought back to headquarters for debriefing. Let’s worry about you
for once, yeah?" Ian asked with a smirk.

**********

The ride to the Council headquarters passed
quickly. I felt wrung out. I had cried for a good long while before
I had no tears left to cry. I knew it was over. I had killed
Xavier. All of the people he had kept against their will would be
free now. But there was something nagging in the back of my mind.
Something I couldn’t remember. I decided to let it go for the
moment. I had neither the energy nor the inclination to think on it
at present.

**********

TWENTY SIX

We arrived at the Council about an hour
later. I was lifted out of the car by an uncharacteristically quiet
Ian. He wrapped his coat around my shoulders and I realized I was
still barefoot and in the hospital gown. I was grateful that he had
the forethought to keep me from flashing everyone my underpants. I
looked up at him and saw that he was warring with saying
something.

“Just say it. Whatever it is just spit it
out, Ian," I croaked. My voice had gotten hoarse with misuse, and
the sobbing had done nothing to help.

“There is a very real chance Kennan might
not make it, Izzy. I need you to prepare yourself for that," Ian
said reluctantly. I knew he did not say it to hurt me, but it did
not change the sting of his words.

“I already lost him once today, Ian. Can we
please just hope for the best right now? I need to believe in
something good again. So please, just please," I pleaded as my eyes
once again filled with tears.

Suddenly, Molly was at my side and punched
Ian in his arm.

“Way to go, jackass. Do you have any idea
what this girl has been through in the past few days? Jesus, it is
like you have no brain up there," Molly berated Ian.

I looked at Ian and saw his jaw drop. I gave
him a questioning look to which he indiscernibly shook his head. I
would ask him later. Right now, I really wanted a shower, some
clothes that were not caked in blood, and to be as close to Kennan
as they would allow.

Molly gripped my hand and I could tell she
was shivering.

“Are you okay?" I asked her as quietly as
possible.

“I’m just nervous. What if they are just as
bad as Xavier and we get trapped again? Remember what I told you,
some of these guys aren’t really the good guys," she said with a
look of trepidation in her eyes.

Well, there it was. The thing that had been
nagging at my brain since we left the lab was now staring me right
in the face. Cheese on a cracker, would this never end? I sighed
and looped my arm through Molly’s.