See Jane Love (19 page)

Janie had a strong streak of independence, yet she was vulnerable, as well. She was proud to a fault and humble at the same time. And no one had ever gotten him as excited as she could.

Yep, she’d gotten to him, all right. He wanted her so badly it hurt inside. He wanted to protect her and make her happy. And he never wanted to see her cry. Is that what love was all about? Was love something you could describe this easily?

If so, what a fool he’d been for not recognizing it until now. And knowing Janie didn’t love him back, and wanted only to
pretend
this was a real marriage, made him suddenly bitter inside. The thought of her using him made his heart ache like a jagged, open sore. And yet there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

* * * * * * * * * *

Janie stretched as she got out of the car. “We’re home,” she said, staring at her townhouse. Someone had left the porch light on for them. Probably Gertie. When Gabe only grunted in response, she turned to look at him. “What’s wrong? You barely said two words to me the last two hundred miles.”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, unlocking the trunk. “And button your coat, so you don’t catch cold.”

With a roll of her eyes, Janie buttoned her navy wool pea coat to ward off the chilly night air. Although, she knew perfectly well, she wouldn’t catch a cold if she left it open. “Do you need help with the bags?” she asked, moving to stand beside Gabe.

“No. I don’t want you lifting anything. I’ll make two trips.”

In one way, it was nice being pampered and cared for. In another, it made her feel totally inadequate and helpless. Something she wasn’t used to. Ever since she’d told him about the pregnancy, he’d become her guardian. Always worrying whether she was getting enough rest and reminding her to eat balanced. Now he was worried about the way she dressed in the cold. But, if for the sake of pride, she did something that caused harm to their baby she’d never forgive herself. “Only five more months, and then I won’t be a useless wind-up toy,” she muttered.

Gabe’s head shot up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” She spun on her heel and started for the sidewalk. In her huff, she didn’t notice the patch of ice on the dark pavement. Her feet flew out from under her and she would have fallen on her behind if Gabe hadn’t been there to catch her.

“Dammit, Janie!” he swore, lifting her into his arms. “You’ve got to be more careful.”

Realizing she could have hurt the baby, had she fallen, she nestled closer to him, feeling comforted by his strength and loving the security of his arms around her. “Maybe I should just stay in bed for the rest of my pregnancy.”

He gave her a non-committal, “Maybe,” and started up the walk. He climbed the three steps to her porch and set her on her feet.

“You could stay in bed with me,” she teased, trailing a finger across the dark stubble on his cheek.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he asked, a scowl etched into his facial features.

“Yes, wouldn’t you?” She wiggled her brows and grinned.

“There’s more to life than just great sex, Janie.”

Well, it looked like the honeymoon was over. And she didn’t have to be a mind reader to know something was definitely bothering him. The fact that he was no longer interested in sex was a dead giveaway. But what had suddenly gone wrong between them? Gabe had seemed genuinely happy ever since they’d said their I dos.
Until a few hours ago, that is.

Handing the key over to him, she asked, “Aren’t you going to carry me over the threshold like you did in Vegas?”

“Uh, sure,” he said, unlocking the door. Then, picking her up, he carried her inside.

“We could go upstairs and get naked.” Janie rested her lips against his neck and breathed in his male scent.

Gabe set her on her feet. “I have to go get the bags. And then I have some phone calls I need to make.”

Janie stood at the front door and watched as her husband headed toward the car. He’d promised this would be a real marriage and that he’d pretend to love her. But they’d only been married four days and already he was tired of her. She felt the tears coming on and willed them away. It was silly to cry. It’s not as if the fact that Gabe didn’t love her should come as any real surprise. It’s just that she hadn’t realized how badly knowing it would hurt. Quietly closing the door, she headed upstairs alone.

* * * * * * * * * *

Janie was missing for the second night in a row, though Gabe knew he’d find her in her study clicking away at her keyboard. What the hell was so damn important that it couldn’t wait until morning?

He’d already grown accustomed to sleeping with his arms wrapped around her the entire night, so it would be impossible to fall back asleep without her beside him. Sighing, he tossed back the covers and got out of bed. After stepping into his boxers, he headed across the hall. But Janie wasn’t typing; her head was tipped back and she was staring up at the ceiling in deep concentration.

“Maybe I should start writing in the middle of the night, too,” he said. “Then we could both sleep all day.”

Obviously startled by his presence, Janie immediately escaped from her word processing program. What was it she didn’t want him to see? Yesterday, he’d asked to read her work in progress and she’d flatly refused him. And not only that, but she wouldn’t even discuss the story.

“I’m sorry. Was I being too noisy?” she asked, spinning her chair around to face him more fully. She was covered from neck to ankles in a flannel gown, although he knew she was naked underneath. He’d never thought of flannel as sexy until now.

“No, you weren’t being noisy. But all this secrecy about your book has me more than curious.”

“You wouldn’t be interested.”

“Uh, huh. Try me.”

Reaching behind her, she flicked off the desk lamp and stood. “I’m having a problem writing my love scenes. Something my agent insists I have to get better at. Once I get it all figured out, I’ll let you read it. I promise.” He saw her silhouette moving toward him in the dark.

“Janie,” he said, reaching for her hand, “be true to yourself. If you’re not comfortable writing sex scenes, then don’t.”

“But I have to--”

“You don’t
have
to do anything. You’re a very gifted writer, and you have a talent for making people laugh.” Having finally read all her books this past summer, he knew. “Write a romantic comedy, or a cozy mystery series with a comedic female sleuth. It may take a while, but eventually your fans will follow you if you change paths.”

“Do you really think so?” she asked, her voice soft and tentative.

“Sure, I do.” In fact, he planned to have a little talk with Marcy Polk at J & B Publishing. If Sassy Books didn’t appreciate Janie’s talent, then maybe J & B would. Not that he had any intention of mentioning his plan to Janie. “Let’s go back to bed,” he said, steering her across the dark hallway and into their bedroom.

Once he’d stripped off his boxers and they were settled under the covers, Janie turned in his arms to lie face to face. “Gabe,” she whispered. “Remember when I handcuffed you to the bed?”

His manhood sprang to attention. “Vaguely,” he said.
Like he could forget
that!
Reaching for her hand, he placed it around his erection and glided it along the length of him. “Maybe you could refresh my memory?”

“I plan to do much more than that,” she purred, squeezing and fondling him so that he nearly lost it.

Sucking in a breath, he said, “Janie, I’ve never made love to a woman wrapped in flannel.”

“Well, then, it’ll be a new experience for you. Besides, I didn’t plan for you to make love to me.
I’m
going to make love to
you
.” With that, she slithered under the covers and kissed her way down his abdomen.

He kept telling himself this was wrong. He wanted more than just sex from her. But when she wrapped that tantalizing mouth around him, he didn’t even try to stop her.

He’d promised her that he would pretend to love her. But he couldn’t pretend any longer. He
did
love her, and he couldn’t continue this farce.

Tomorrow, he thought. Tomorrow, he’d tell her their marriage wasn’t working.

“What do you mean it’s not working?” Janie asked, then bit down hard on her bottom lip and prayed she wouldn’t cry in front of him. “We’ve been married less than a week! Aren’t you even going to give it a chance?”

Gabe looked up from his coffee mug briefly, then averted his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re
sorry
? Well, sorry doesn’t cut it, pal.
You
asked
me
to marry you, remember?”

“Yes,” he said on a sigh and rested his elbows on the kitchen table. He still refused to look at her. Which was just as well. Right now, she didn’t want to look at him either.

Janie got up from the table, and keeping her shoulders squared and her back straight, went to the sink to rinse her juice glass. “We’re supposed to go to Sara and Alex’s for Thanksgiving dinner today. My parents are there. Won’t they get a kick when I not only tell them I just got married, but that the father of my child already wants a divorce.” And then the tears came. Big, fat, ugly tears. And she was powerless to stop them.

“Janie, don’t,” Gabe said, coming up behind her. “I never wanted to make you cry.”

“Well, what did you expect?” she asked in between sobs.

“I don’t know,” he said, turning her around by her shoulders. “Not this.” With the pads of his thumbs, he wiped away her tears and studied her face. “I need some time. Can you give me a few weeks, a month maybe, to sort things out?”

She sniffed and nodded.

“Thanks.” Dropping his hands from her shoulders, he said, “Look, if you want I’ll go with you today. We can pretend to be the happy couple.”

“Okay,” she managed to say. “I’d appreciate that. Just let me wash my face and change my clothes.”

As Janie walked away from Gabe, she realized this was the second time he’d broken her heart. She’d lived through it the first time, and she could live through it again. Besides, what choice did she have? If Gabe didn’t want her, there was nothing she was going to say or do to change his mind.

* * * * * * * * * *

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Ruth and Doug Callahan weren’t exactly happy that their daughter was married, or with her selection in husbands. Nor were they excited Janie was expecting in the spring. Shocked, was more like it.

“So,” Ruth said, first glaring at Gabe and then looking at Janie. “I can understand why you may have wanted to elope, but did you have to go to Las Vegas? The thought of my daughter being married in one of those tacky wedding chapels . . .” The woman ran a hand over her short, auburn hair and shuddered with disgust. “Sara had a beautiful wedding at St. John’s.” She dabbed at her dry eyes with a napkin. “We wanted the same for Janie.”

Doug patted his wife’s hand. “Honey, don’t get yourself worked up. They can always renew their vows in the Catholic church.” Doug Callahan had a full head of dark hair with just a touch of gray at the temples, a slick buttery smile, and a trusting face.

“Mom, it wasn’t so bad,” Janie said. “In fact, the chapel was really kind of cute. Wasn’t it, Gabe?” She gave him a small kick under the dining room table.

“Uh, sure,” Gabe lied.

“Did you have a fowler girl?” Livvy asked, and all the adults grinned at the way she’d said ‘flower’.

“No, sweetie, we didn’t,” Janie said, a sad expression on her face. “Because we couldn’t find any little girls who were as pretty as you.”

Nor did you have any flowers
, Gabe wanted to say. He’d only just realized how much Janie had probably hated getting married all those miles away, and without her family. But why hadn’t she said anything?

“Did you see the beautiful ring Gabe bought for me?” Janie beamed a smile at everyone around the table as she held out her hand for inspection.

“Cool,” Travis said, then went back to shoveling turkey into his mouth.

Doug’s and Alex’s brows shot up, but both men were smart enough not to say whatever it was they were thinking. Sara and Ruth obviously weren’t that smart.

“Are you sure those stones are real?” Ruth asked Gabe. “I mean, you didn’t buy my daughter’s wedding ring from one of those shady, street vendors, did you?”

“No, Mrs. Callahan.” Gabe set his fork aside, his appetite dwindling by the minute. “And I had the ring appraised. It’s genuine, trust me.”

Sara gaped at him. “You’re going to be making payments on that thing for the rest of your life.”

Gabe didn’t respond. He’d had no need to finance the ring, but that was nobody’s business.

Janie gave him an apologetic smile and twirled her fork in her mashed potatoes. Apparently, her appetite was gone, as well. But she couldn’t afford to skip a meal. She and the baby needed nourishment. Would she remember to eat properly if he went back to New York for a few weeks? Probably not, he decided, wondering if he’d done the right thing by telling her he needed some time to think about their situation.