See Me (2 page)

THE END OF HIGH
school was bittersweet. My sister and I drove home in the dark from a graduation party to our house in Great Falls, Virginia, a woodsy town of hills and cliffs nestled between cities of concrete. I was so glad to have Cassidy. Even now she sensed my mood as I pulled into our driveway and cut the engine. I stared absently at the porch swing illuminated by the motion-censored light. We’d shared years of secrets on that wooden swing.

“Tonight was fun, huh?” Cass asked carefully.

I nodded. “Yeah. Fun, but… weird too.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. And then to cheer me she added, “I can’t believe the graduating football players streaked. I did
not
need to see all that. My ears still hurt from everyone screaming.”

I snorted.

I’d made some great friends, especially my soccer teammates, but I couldn’t tell them about my family or the Fae, or the real reason I was going to Ireland tomorrow while they were all headed for post-graduation Beach Week.

“I can’t believe it’s time for you to go already.” Cassidy stared at the house. “No more sneaking to D.C. with my big sis and glamouring ourselves in fancy dresses.” I had to smile at the memory. We hadn’t bothered doing our hair or make-up that night. We used our magical glamour to sneak into a club and make us look done up. We’d been exhausted after an hour of dancing from the effort of keeping up fake appearances.

I took her hand and my heart tightened with our inevitable separation.

“Let’s not get sad,” I told her. “Come on.”

It was midnight when we let ourselves in. Mom and Dad’s luggage sat next to the door, ready to go. Our parents lounged on the couch, Dad reading. If this were a normal night they’d have been in bed hours ago. Mom had apparently been reading, too, but had fallen asleep with her head on his lap and a book on her chest. At the sound of our footsteps, she sat up and pushed back her dark hair.

“There’s my girls,” Dad said, jovial despite the late hour. He put his book on the coffee table. “Tell us all about the party.”

We sat on the couch across from them.

“It was okay,” I told him, trying to hide my sadness.

Tension crowded around us. We were all probably thinking the same thing:
This is our last night with me at home.
How weird. I didn’t want to think about it. Mom, ever the peacemaker, cleared her throat.

“You said good-bye to all your friends then?” She’d been away from her homeland of Ireland for twenty years but her voice still held a soft lilt and inflection, which I’d always envied.

“Yeah,” I said.

Cassidy stretched her mouth wide for a loud yawn, not bothering to cover her mouth. It was contagious—I yawned next, then Mom.

“Look at my tired girls. We should call it a night,” Dad said. “Big day tomorrow. Thankfully we can sleep on the plane, huh?”

Nervousness tightened around me like twine.

“I hope you both finished packing,” Mom said.

“Mine is pretty much done,” I told her. “I just have to bring it down.”

“Mine’s almost done,” Cass said, yawning again.

Mom shook her head and focused on me. “How are you, Robyn? Are you ready for this?”

I gave her a reassuring smile, despite the tightening sensation. “I’m fine. Ready to see what Ireland has in store for me.”

“Well, come here.” Dad stood, tall and imposing, and opened his arms. The four of us huddled together for a group hug. Mom was shorter than me now. I’d outgrown her last year, and it still felt strange to be the tallest female in the embrace.

We said our goodnights, and then shuffled upstairs. I stood in my bedroom feeling a wave of nostalgia. This room held so many memories. Would I be back again to see the rows of trophies on the shelves? Everything from t-ball to All-State Soccer and this year’s Girls’ Varsity Soccer MVP. Two large corkboards were tacked full of pictures, ticket stubs for movies, school dances, and sporting events, even a few newspaper snippets about my teams.

I went to my walk-in closet and pulled out the familiar, large plastic storage bin. I placed the bin next to my luggage at the foot of my bed, then sat down cross-legged on the carpet and opened it.

Staring up at me was ten years worth of memorabilia collected to give McKale when it was time to meet.

The mysterious McKale. My “betrothed.” A fancy word for “engaged.”

McKale was from another family of ancient magic. Mom explained that his people had only been able to produce male children for many, many years now. I was told they needed a special, magical girl to bind herself with one of their special, magical boys to ensure the continuation of their family’s bloodline. It sounded extraordinary to me as a child—like I was a princess—special, chosen.

It took a few years to realize the purpose of the union was to have babies.

My friends at school would have been appalled. They all thought I was going off to college overseas. The term “prearranged marriage” was thought of as something from the old days, or something that other societies did. I should have been terrified or indignant, but the way Mom presented my future eleven years ago made me feel important and useful. Arranged relationships were common among
Dightheach
. Normal.

On the night I learned about McKale, Mom told me his clan valued gifts. At six years of age, I remember thinking it was weird that his family was called a “clan,” but cool that they liked presents.

I ran my finger over a paddle and ball set I’d gotten at a birthday party when I was seven. I could never get the stupid toy to work for me, but maybe McKale could. That had been the first gift. My favorite was the soccer ball. I smiled at its shiny black and white surface, remembering when Dad landed tickets to the World Cup.

A light knock came as I wrapped tape around the lid.

“Come in,” I called. My family knew about the gift bin, but it was still embarrassing, this imaginary relationship I had with a stranger. But he wouldn’t be a stranger for much longer, would he?

I shivered with anticipation.

Cassidy walked in and made herself comfortable on my bed while I moved my travel stuff next to the bedroom door and changed into my pajamas.

“How many hours of footage do you think you have?” From her laying position Cass inclined her head toward the video camera on the nightstand that I’d used to record messages for McKale over the past four years.

“I don’t know. A lot,” I said.

“Mm.” Cassidy chewed her lip. She was unusually quiet as she lay there. I sat down and stretched my legs out beside her.

“You okay?” I asked.

“I don’t want you to go.”

The invisible band around my chest yanked tighter. “You guys are coming, too. We’ll get to spend the whole summer together before you go back home.”

“Not really. I mean, I’ll be there, but you’re going to be busy getting to know
him
.” Her jealous tone surprised me. She’d always taken my engagement in stride. I began braiding the silky brown hair at her temple.

“I promise to make time for you, chickadee.” I wondered if she’d ever outgrow the childhood nickname. I hoped not.

“It’s gonna be strange next year at school without you.”

“I know.”

Cassidy would be a senior. It was a huge high school and we’d both been active in sports and clubs. Cass was even junior class president this past year. But I understood. No amount of friends or activities could replace what we shared. And neither could a man.

She turned her face away and whispered low, “Please don’t forget about me.”

“Hey.” I gasped and pulled her face back to me. It killed me when her eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried.

“If you ever say something like that again, I’ll kick your butt,” I said. She sniffled and gave me a small smile. “I mean it, Cass. There is no man and no distance that could ever make me forget about you, or stop needing you. I’ll do whatever I have to to keep in touch. And don’t forget about begging Mom and Dad to study abroad next year.”

That idea always cheered us. There was still a shroud of mystery about McKale’s clan and what it’d be like there. Mom made it sound like there was no technology. I couldn’t even send him letters over the years because mail wasn’t delivered there. If Cass could study abroad in Ireland it would make any situation more livable for me.

“I wish he could come here instead,” she said.

“Yeah. Me too.”

Cassidy wiped her eyes. She nuzzled her head closer to my leg and I continued braiding her hair.

“If he’s not a good guy… If he doesn’t appreciate you—”

“Don’t think like that. Everything is going to be fine.”

I’d often been filled with gratitude that this was my fate and not hers. Cassidy was too free-spirited to handle something like this.

Her smooth hair slid through my fingers and she closed her eyes. The thought of my predicament dampening her spirit broke my heart.

“I wish I could stay here with you longer,” I said.

“No, you don’t,” Cass said without opening her eyes. Her voice was still soft. “You want to go be with him.”

Her words shook me. Partly because she was right—I
was
excited to go, to meet the magical boy I’d been chosen for. But that didn’t mean I wanted to leave my family.

“I do want to meet him,” I admitted. “But I’m not looking forward to being without you.” My insides shook just thinking about it. She seemed so young with her head in my lap. I had to remind myself this was an independent girl who always took what she wanted and had kissed way more boys than me. I bent down over her face and cupped her soft cheeks with my palms. She opened her eyes. “You know you’re my heart, Cass. Nobody could ever take your place.”

She sat up and turned, hugging me around the neck. I gulped back my emotions.

“Now get out of here,” I said. “Before you make me cry or something.”

“Pfft, yeah right.” She gave me a tired smile before slipping off the bed.

“Hey, what if McKale is cross-eyed?” Cass asked, walking backward to the door. Her mood seemed lighter now, but I couldn’t forget the jealousy she’d revealed.

“Don’t they have surgery to correct that?”

She shrugged, almost at the door. “What if he’s got some wicked crooked teeth?”

“Braces.”

“What if he refuses to get braces?”

I groaned and threw a small pillow at her. “Go finish packing, dork.”

She punched her chest and threw me a peace sign before leaving.

I flopped back on the blankets, feeling uneasy from all the emotion. This whole thing was going to be harder if Cassidy made a fuss. I’d be sure to give her plenty of attention in Ireland.

I switched off the light and set my alarm for the butt-crack of dawn. We’d only be getting a few hours of sleep, so I’d be running on pure adrenaline tomorrow. I climbed underneath the down comforter and snuggled in, doing what I’d done every night since I was six.

I imagined McKale. The guy whose life was tied to mine.

What would he see when he looked at me?

I’d resigned myself to a lot of bad “what ifs” over the years. Cassidy loved to throw those at me for fun.
What if he has a big nose? What if he has halitosis?
What if he’s got an ugly comb-over and he won’t shave it off?

But in all our imaginings there was one thing I never cared to envision. It was vain and stupid, considering I forced myself to imagine all sorts of horrid scenarios, and yet
this
was the thing that bothered me. Cassidy and I looked very much alike: athletic bodies, ample curves, medium-length brown hair, and round brown eyes. She, like our mom, was taller than average. And at five feet, eleven inches, I was over two inches taller than them.

Of all the truly frightening things worth worrying about, I held one selfish wish.
Please
…
don’t let McKale be too much shorter than me.

BOARDING THE PLANE WAS SURREAL.

The four of us took our seats in the back row of first class. Thankfully it wasn’t a crowded flight. Three other passengers sat in the front, a good distance away. I nestled between my mom and sister with Mom by the window and Cass on the aisle. Dad sat in the aisle seat in the row beside us. I wondered if my father had somehow gotten them to fix the seating with no passengers around us so we could have privacy to talk.

My nerves flared when we pushed back from the gate and prepared for takeoff. I bit my lip to keep from screaming in anticipation. I was on my way to meet McKale! Crazy butterflies dive-bombed inside me. I’d been suppressing uncharacteristic psycho-girly giggles all morning, especially since my family seemed subdued.

I understood why. If I allowed myself to go down the path of how much I’d miss them when they returned home, leaving me in whatever situation I was in, my heart would break and my nerves would shred.

As soon as we were in the air Mom started acting strange, fidgeting, messing with her hair. I watched her stare distractedly out the window while Cassidy read a magazine on my other side. Mom’s hand drifted up to her throat and a look of nervousness crossed her face as she shifted her body toward me.