Seeing Daylight (6 page)

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Authors: Tanya Hanson

Tags: #christian Fiction

BOOK: Seeing Daylight
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Clearly he got her point. “Of course. But let me clear up so you can tend him. Don't forget his story. Are you going to join us for Rodeo College? Addie's bound to be beside herself.”

Rachel laughed out loud. “Now you mind your manners around her and those boys. But, no. I've got to finalize an intellectual property agreement Tiffany has worked up. I always try to get some work done when Matty's asleep.”

“Um.” Brayton grabbed Matty's plate then touched his shiny little curls. Rachel's heart pittered. Almost like they were a family. “Before I came in, Crusty said there's a hayride and campfire tonight after supper. Care to join...me?”

She knew he'd been about to say “us,” that the “me” was a brave insertion. Even still, it wasn't a date, not with a couple dozen other people around.

“Sure,” she said, true. “I'd like that. I'd like that a lot.”

 

****

 

She had no need for an alarm clock, not when sharing a room with Matty. The early morning sun peeked through the red gingham curtains as he stirred. Before he bounced up on her bed, she had time to relive the previous evening. The hayride, close by Brayton's side. His warmth during the campfire sing-along. The touch of his hand on a crisp moon-lit walk.

She had, however, held off his kiss, had read the hurt in his eyes soon replaced by patience. His company was delicious, but she had enough baggage of her own to unpack before she latched onto somebody with his own load. After all, he'd had ten years to figure things out. She hadn't even earned two. Still, an evening with Brayton had blown up into a night full of tosses and turns with him full on in her mind. At least she hadn't had a nightmare. That was something.

She groaned into the covers. Brayton as close as the guest bunkhouse set her trembling. He had even promised to go to church with her this morning when she'd stumbled into an invitation. What had she been thinking? Nobody skipped church on Ma's watch.

“Mama, get up!” Matty scampered monkeylike up on her mountain of blankets.

“I will.” They hugged. It would be good for them to have their own place, their own spaces. “Let me get your church clothes.” She buttoned him in a tiny suit passed down from Tiffany's nephew. “Now you play while I get dressed.”

What to wear... knowing Brayton would see her. Something other than faded jeans and dusty riding boots.

“OK.” Matty settled with his jumble of miniature cars while she dug through the closet. Soon the room filled with his vocal motor sounds, the oral screech of brakes. She had to grin. The noises must be inborn in males.

Then her smile faded as she paused over a pink dress. Mountainview Community Church held memories of so much family history. Baptisms. Weddings. Funerals.
Matty's
baptism.
Her
wedding.

Heart thudded, but she had to go on.

Nick's
funeral.

She swallowed the pain, tried to grab onto remembered joy. Indeed, she loved and admired Pastor Jim Hale, and more often than not, his messages made her feel better, even if only temporarily. And he'd comforted her plenty after Nick's…funeral. Some of his counsel had taken. She'd never forsaken Jesus as her Savior; she just had issues why she'd had to lose Nick. It wasn't fair.

And now, there might be someone else, but she wasn't ready.

Church
, a weekly event made different today because Brayton Metcalf was coming along. She couldn't say worse, couldn't say better. Just different.

Yes indeed. Brayton Metcalf. No doubt he'd sit with her at breakfast just like he had at supper. At the campfire. On the hayride. The scent of hay and horse, moonlight, Brayton's shearling jacket and whatever soap he used had thrilled her even in her dreams during the night. Her heart pounded again, and she admitted she liked it.

Liked his ease with her son, his friendliness to the family. She couldn't stop seeing the look in his eyes when he'd said his “forever” remark, the same warm gaze when he promised not to ask for too much. Oh heavens, she liked these looks, these looks that inspired feelings deep down she liked way too much.

Even if she did want a man in her life, she'd need one with a lighter load.

From downstairs, she heard the triangle clang for breakfast, the Wild West ambience Ma added when the ranch had guests. “Come on, little dude. We better hustle,” she told her son.

“Hustle and bustle?”

“Bustle, too.” She hugged her sweet boy so hard he groaned. Ma served breakfast buffet style, so there was no hurry. She always led grace to start with, but that was something Rachel and Matty could do on their own. And did she want to hustle, to hurry?

Did she want to see Brayton? Of course...not? If she hadn't been ready yesterday, what could possibly have changed in her sleep? Despite the conflicts warring deep down, some instinct had Rachel take her time over makeup, hair, dressy black jeans today, and a teal silk blouse. Rather than her denim jacket, she grabbed a black wool blazer, plenty sturdy enough against a chill morning when all she had to do was walk to and from cars in a parking lot.

Ten minutes later, her heart thudded all the way down the stairs, for she could hear Brayton's voice over the bridesmaids' chitchat and the male guffawing of the Boy Scouts. In the big front room all around her, folks sat every which way, plates balanced on knees, TV trays, or end tables. Matty ran shrieking to one of his uncles, giving her no chance to sneak unnoticed into the kitchen. She'd die if she saw Brayton. She'd die twice if she didn't.

What on earth was wrong with her?

Instincts and sense all gone awry, Rachel urged herself not to look, but the sight of him was too blasted beautiful. The giant fireplace blazed warmth, and he sat in front of it, completely at home. At least the bridesmaids fawning over him were all already attached even if little Cricket announced her doubt. Nonetheless, Rachel's belly twisted with jealousy.

She pooh-poohed her reactions. Her stomach was empty. Brayton was handsome and charming. She was lonely.
That was all
.

That was enough. Nothing wrong with temporary flirtation. A temporary tweak to her ego whenever he appeared for Addie's lessons.
That was all.

“Hi Rachel.”

Even above the din, she heard him and only him. Saw him and only him. At her approach, he'd sat forward in the leather armchair, expectantly, and in her mind's eye, they were the only two people in the room. It was a vision she needed to squelch even in its deliciousness. Half of her wanted to dash to his side. The other half, to run screaming up the stairs.

Instead, she controlled both trembling lips and pounding heart and tossed him a casual smile. Then she acted as though she'd forgotten something and headed back toward the dining room where the breakfast buffet was set.

Ma was fast on her heels. “What's up, Rachel?”

Getting followed was annoying. “Ma, I'm just after some coffee. Now go entertain our guests.” She wanted to be snarky about the Metcalfs' unexpected stay, but deep down, she had to admit she liked Brayton not all that far away. But still. Her hands shook as she worked the coffee urn.

Ma turned bright, intense eyes to her. “I can see something happening between you and Brayton. There's chemistry there.”

Harrumph.
“So that's why you invited him to stay over.”

“It was Mr. Ruggs's fine suggestion first. I just affirmed it.” Ma's nose rose.

“You would have gotten the Metcalfs to stay somehow, with or without Mr. Ruggs. And you know it. ” Rachel knew her mother well. It was time to let loose, to let Ma know for sure. “Listen, Ma. I know you've lost a spouse, too. But you've never taken on another. As for your romance with Doyle, well, even you say marriage is a logistical nightmare. All but impossible.”

Ma rolled her eyes, setting her hands on the buffet. “My situation with Doyle is different. We both head up large ranching enterprises. And mine's a birthright I can't leave. You admit you're slowing down your practice for more time with Matty. Doyle and I are done raising kids. You, my dear, are young enough to have more children.”

Rachel's temper flared as she tipped the creamer to her cup. “Ma, that's enough. It hasn't even been a year and a half.”

“You've got a biological clock.” Ma's lips pursed.

“It was a miracle getting Matty, for one thing.” As if her mother hadn't spoken, Rachel went on insistently. “For another, you talk like Brayton has asked for my hand. He's charming and I like him, but remember, he lost a spouse, too. And he's not found anybody in ten years.” Her spoon tornadoed cream through her coffee. “I spent enough energy trying to fix what went wrong with Nick and me. I don't have the strength to fix what might be wrong in Brayton's life.”

“Well, just like you said, it's been ten years. I think he's on the mend.” Ma gave a firm nod.

Rachel wasn't. Not yet anyway. She tried a courtroom glare. “Well, it hasn't been ten years for me. Are we done here?”

From the big front room, she heard somebody say the words “Woodside Chapel” and she knew how her morning ordeal could ease. While most folks hereabouts attended Mountainview Church in town or St. Anthony's in Promise a few miles farther, Pastor Hale's vicar held a prayer service first Sunday of the month for the residents of the pretty development of Woodside Meadows. She'd attend there and appease Ma. Oh, she loved the friends and neighbors at Mountainview Church, no doubt about it, but this once, she wouldn't have to endure all the sympathetic stares or relive difficult memories. Besides, since she was growing serious about moving to one of the condos there, helping build up a new little congregation might be a wonderful goal.

“I think I'll go to Woodside Chapel this morning. I doubt Vicar Wegner gets a big turnout with the summer renters back home.”

Ma's eyes were shrewd, but she nodded. “All right. You want Matty to go with me? There'll be a Bible story going on in the nursery.”

Rachel nodded. She knew well the chapel didn't have any such facility. “That'd be nice. I'll be getting back here before you all, so I can get Sunday dinner started.”

Ma removed a big white apron, showing off a new forest green pantsuit. “Bragg's already got brisket on that big smoker of his. And I've got the chili beans slow-cooking. If you can grate up the cheese for the macaroni, we'll be in good shape.” She waggled a finger. “There's six kinds of cheese, remember.”

Rachel couldn't help a smile. Ma's mac and cheese was legendary, and one never dared to skimp on the Velveeta, smoked gouda, extra-sharp and Vermont cheddar, pepper jack, and a smatter of Swiss.

“Now, go get some grub and keep our guests company.” Ma talked to her like she was six years old and headed out.

Keep our guests company
. Rachel knew precisely what Ma meant. Keep Brayton company. Her blood began a torrent through every inch of vein and artery.

 

 

 

 

6

 

“Woodside Chapel.” One of the bridesmaids cooed. “Ooooh, let's go to church there.”

“Woodside Chapel?” From his armchair, Brayton turned to the bride on a settee nearby, polite, but aching for Rachel as he did so. Spending last night here at Hearts Crossing he'd had more than one ulterior motive: staying nearby Rachel and checking out the development up close and personal today. Attending church there would be killing two birds with one stone.

“Oh, yeah. We rode by it on our trail ride yesterday,” the girl continued. “So pretty there. I don't go to church on regular weekends, but seems the proper thing to do here, you know. At a place called Hearts Crossing.”

“That it does. Sounds nice.”

“Hey, Brayton?” Charlene, the bride, perked up. “We rented a big old van in Denver to get all of us and our stuff up here. Why don't you and Addie come along?”

Part of him wanted to, to see the community in action. But the bigger part wanted to be with Rachel. And if that meant attending Mountainview Church in town with the family, well then, that's where he wanted to be. “Ummm. Thanks.” He looked over at Addie who made an
I don't care
face.

Bustling into the room, Elaine Martin, Rachel's take-charge mother, must have heard something. “Why, why don't you all give Rachel a lift to Woodside? She has a hankering for the vicar's ministry this morning. And Addie could come with me to Mountain Cove. Lots of kids Addie's age attend Mountainview Community Church there.”

“Vicar?” Charlene asked.

Elaine answered, but Brayton didn't hear a word. From across the hall, Rachel gently swooped into the room next to her mother, and his heart clobbered his ribcage. She held a full plate so she likely wasn't going anywhere for a while.

“I'd like to meet some kids,” Addie was saying after Brayton's blood pressure quieted a notch. “It's OK with you, right, Dad?”

Well, if something involved Addie, he had to make sure. “Say again?”

Addie's eyes rolled big time. “Mrs. Martin just said there's a cool Bible study for kids my age while the grown-ups have coffee hour after church. I can go, right?”

“Is the Boy Scout going?” Brayton's fist clenched just a little bit. Irrational, but...

“What?”

“Harper? From last night.”

“Oh, Dad,” Addie wailed, and Brayton watched Rachel hide her chuckle behind her hand. “Of
course
not. The troop's had devotions and are already starting their horsemanship requirements. Gosh, Dad.” She shook her head. “Anyway, can I go with Mrs. Martin?”

He nodded. “Sure. Enjoy.” It would be good for Addie to meet local kids, especially if he settled at Woodside Meadows and sent her to school in town. Already she looked brighter and happier than she had since the move from California.

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