Seeing the Love (7 page)

Natalie had met Lucas briefly during the lunch break at the conference, and she’d dropped out of the organized dinner to see him. It was her last night in Wellington, and she wanted to make the most of it. She wanted to sleep with Lucas.

After spending all Sunday with Lucas, Natalie shouldn’t be so nervous. She knew he wanted her. She was sure little wisps of smoke flew off her skin when their lips met. Nobody had ever reduced her to a gooey mess just from a kiss until Lucas, but was she ready for this?

Memories of Phil’s rejection swam in front of her, but she pushed them away. She wasn’t that broken girl any more. She’d rebuilt her life and found a new love. The thought stopped her in her tracks.

Was she in love with Lucas?

Yes
.

Did he feel the same? She hoped so. They’d talked endlessly for the past couple of days, and kissed too many times to count, but had always stopped there. Such kisses though… They made her dizzy with wanting him.

She gazed into the full-length mirror in her hotel room, and remembered her fears the other day, when she was trying to pluck up the courage to meet Lucas. It seemed like weeks ago. So much had happened.

Tonight she was meeting Lucas in the lobby downstairs, and they’d decide where to go for dinner. What she’d like to do was buy some groceries and cook for him, but how would he feel about that?

She examined her reflection again. The calf-skimming dress was one of her favorites. Fitted across the bust and at the waist, it flared softly from her hips and swirled around her legs as she walked. Little mother-of-pearl buttons gleamed down the front, drawing attention from her arms and legs. She wore a sheer silk-knit cardigan over the top, to hide her scars, but it was fine enough to seem part of the outfit without being a bulky accessory.  Even better, everything was soft and tactile, and Lucas would enjoy touching her, examining the different fabrics.

Oh
. The idea of him undressing her, his inquisitive fingers brushing across her breasts and sliding into her panties… Maybe they’d skip dinner and go straight to the dessert course. Unbidden, the mental image of Lucas sprawled naked in bed, popped into her mind. Yes. This was the right thing to do.

With her mind made up, she slipped clean panties and a toothbrush into her tote bag, along with a packet of condoms bought at the pharmacy next door. She was ready.

Lucas waited by the reception desk, Molly sitting patiently at his side. Natalie took a moment to gaze at him. Tonight would change everything.

She couldn’t wait.

*

Molly nudged his leg a few seconds before he registered Natalie’s familiar scent, and then her hand closed around his arm.

“Hello.” Her voice was husky and slightly breathless.

“Hey.” He sensed where she stood from the brush of her hip against him, and turned his face, seeking her kiss. The noise and bustle of the hotel lobby faded into the background. Nothing else mattered

There she was. Their lips met in a brief, soft greeting, and his nerves calmed a fraction. He’d no idea how she’d react if he asked her to stay the night. God knew he wanted her to. He didn’t want her to go back to Auckland at all, if he was perfectly honest, but he had to admit it was presumptuous of him. They’d been together properly for just three days.

Natalie had been hurt badly by her ex. He totally understood she might not be anywhere near ready for a physical relationship yet. The crass part of him hoped he was wrong.

“So,” he began, as she spoke too.

She laughed and squeezed his arm. “You go first.”

“Dinner.” He went for the safe question. “Where do you fancy tonight?”
For your last night with me.

“Well”—she hesitated, and then blew out a soft breath—“I wondered if I might cook for you tonight. If you’d like that.”

“I…
Yes
. Definitely.” Christ, he sounded like an idiot now. “I’ve got basic food at home, and a ton of frozen meals for one, but that’s all. We probably need to go shopping.” Another task he hated.

“We don’t need much.” Her voice was reassuring. “And if you don’t mind walking round the supermarket with me, I promise to make you something delicious.”

“How can I refuse?”

He was conscious that her ankle had to be aching after she’d been on her feet all day. He insisted they take a cab to the supermarket, and then asked the driver to wait.

A familiar bubble of panic surged when they walked inside the cavernous shopping hall.

Natalie squeezed his hand. “Ten minutes. That’s all we need.”

He swallowed down his anxiety. “What are you planning? Or is it a surprise?” He tried to sound confident, as though shopping was an everyday occurrence. As though he was a normal guy. He could do this.

“Mushrooms, I think. And garlic and some fresh herbs.” They walked forward at a steady pace, Molly calm at his side. “Grand-mére taught me a dish with pork and apples, and a splash of cider.
Pork a la Normande
. How does that sound?”

“Great.” Although he’d probably agree if she suggested cardboard with ketchup. Anything to get out of here quickly.

They continued to move through the supermarket, Natalie keeping up a light conversation as they walked. She consulted him at every opportunity. White bread or sourdough? Brie or Camembert? Did he prefer the button mushrooms or the large field ones?

Before long, he was gently squeezing avocados to determine the ripest, while she picked through a selection of salad leaves. In no way was he enjoying himself, but it wasn’t as bad as he feared.

He still had to ask the question. The would-you-like-to-stay-the-night question. There was no right time. Not while they shopped for food, and not in the taxi back to his place. Not as they lugged the bags of groceries into his apartment or when he released Molly from her harness.

Natalie was talking to him from the kitchen, telling him a funny story about one of their colleagues, and he paused in the doorway. From the noises of her moving around, she was collecting pans and cooking implements. Running the tap. Unpacking the food they’d bought. All very domestic and incredibly normal, and something he longed to experience every day.

Lucas took a step forward and felt for the counter. “I need to ask you something. If you want to, and you don’t have to, I’d love you to stay the night.”

He held his breath and heard her give a little amused huff. Was it so funny?

“You haven’t tasted my cooking yet.” Her tone was teasing. “
Oui
, Lucas. I would love to.” Her voice moved closer. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Lucas intended to go slowly. A gentle seduction, taking his time with Natalie, and easing them both into deeper intimacy. Their lips met in a brief kiss, and his plans evaporated.

Natalie returned the kiss, hot and hungry. She wound her arms around his neck and pressed against him, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. He pulled her closer and tilted his head, to drive the kiss deeper, his hands falling to her slim waist.

She ran her fingers through his hair and down his neck. Christ, this felt good. Even better than he remembered. She moaned, and he felt the vibration through his lips. The small sound ignited something deep inside him, a confidence he’d all but buried, and awareness flooded his veins like liquid electricity.

“Let’s eat later.”  His voice was hoarse, and he wasn’t sure if she understood him, but her kiss told him otherwise.

Lucas needed to feel her skin. He skimmed her shoulders with his hands and felt her shrug out of whatever she had on. Soft, wispy fabric trailed across his palms.

“I’ve taken off my cardigan”—Natalie caught his hands and placed them on her shoulders—“so you can see if you like the dress I’m wearing.”

He trusted her.

With his fingertips, he explored the V-shaped neckline and the heated, smooth skin beneath. He found a button in the center, and then another, and a whole line of them.

“It buttons down the front?” he asked.

“I thought you might like to undo me.”

If his heart raced any faster, it would explode. He forced himself to breathe. “God, yes. Describe it for me.”

His deft fingers made light work of the first button, and Natalie’s breath hitched. “It’s dark blue, with little swirls of a lighter color all across it.”

“And buttons?” He popped open a second and then a third.

“Yes.” She was breathless. “Little pearl buttons all the—” She gasped when he freed the next button and slid his fingers beneath the soft fabric.

He found the curve of her breast and paused. “Go on,” he whispered.

“
Mon dieu.
” Her breasts heaved against his palm, and he cupped the soft curves, learning them by touch. Her bra was soft and silky, with a patch of lacework.

“Oh my. Buttons all down the front.” Natalie dug her hands into his hair again, her nails lightly scraping his head, and he sank into the pleasure.

“What color is your bra?”

“Shell pink.”

“Mmm.” He dispensed with another button. He had to be close to her stomach by now. “Possibly my favorite color now.” He dropped his head, trailed a series of kisses down her throat, and paused at the fluttering hollow at the base of her neck. “Keep going,” he murmured, and slipped another button through its hole.

*

Natalie was painfully aware that, any moment now, Lucas would find more of her scarring. Her chest was crisscrossed with ugly raised lines he couldn’t miss.

As he kissed his way down her front, she tensed, and he paused in his meandering. “Am I going too fast?”

Her cheeks burned. “No. It’s just…” Her voice deserted her.
I’m ugly
.

His hands stilled on the buttons, and she wanted to kick herself. Why did she have to draw attention to it? Now she was all tangled up inside, and Lucas was backing off. She let out a frustrated breath.

“Natalie.” She felt his whisper on her ribs. “Talk to me.”

It was impossible to tell him how she felt, so she resorted to the same thing she’d done in the park. She caught one of his hands and placed it flat on her sternum. “
This
.”

Standing there in his kitchen, the dress hanging from her shoulders, Natalie felt as vulnerable as she’d ever been. She couldn’t take her eyes off Lucas. She braced herself for his rejection.

His forehead crinkled, as though he was concentrating hard. Slowly, his touch as light as a butterfly wing, he traced the raised lines on her skin with his fingertip. It tickled, and she squirmed.

“These are your battle scars.” He pressed a kiss on her clavicle. “You’ve looked death in the face and beaten him.” Another kiss, on the upper curve of her breast. “Your courage makes you even more beautiful.” An open-mouthed kiss at the top of her stomach. “Your strength humbles me.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. What had she ever done to deserve Lucas? And would she be able to bear going home in the morning? “I’m standing half-naked in your kitchen.”

His lips moved to her jaw, every kiss a demonstration of his tenderness. “And that’s a problem, because…?”

“I think your bed would be more comfortable.”

“I’m going to switch off the light and close the curtains.”

Lucas paused at Natalie’s words, and released her when she squeezed his hand.

“I want to level the playing field. Share the darkness with you,” she said.

His heart constricted. “You don’t need to do that.” He stumbled over the words.

“No, but I want to.” The curtains rattled on their pole, and the lights clicked off. The last faint strip of light disappeared. Natalie blew out a breath and took a step, catching his arm. “Wow. It’s darker than I thought.”

“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms. “Are you sure about this?” It would kill him if she said no, but he had to be sure.

“You mean the lights being out?”

He buried his nose in her soft hair and inhaled the floral fragrance. “Nope. Guess again.”

“You mean sleeping with you.” She looped her arms around his neck. “Never more sure of anything.”

His lips found her throat, her skin as soft as a peach. “Would you think me presumptuous if I said I bought condoms today? Just in case.”

She giggled. “I did too. Does that make me presumptuous?”

“It makes you perfect.” Lucas hadn’t been involved with anyone since he split with Alice, and that was nearly two years ago. Disgracing himself was a very real possibility, so he vowed to take it slow. They just had the one night together, and he wanted to hold on to as many good memories as possible.

He took his time opening the remaining buttons, his fingers whispering across each piece of new skin he found. Kisses trailed in their wake, and he paid careful attention to what made her sigh and what made her tremble. He felt the dress fall to the floor, a soft wisp of fabric that puddled around his feet. Heat poured from her body, and he slid his hands up her sides, to cup her breasts. He was sure her underwear was pretty, but he ached to have her naked.

The bra clasp was easy to open, but he still didn’t hurry. Instead, he slipped the straps down one at a time, dropping little kisses over her shoulders. Her breath hitched when the bra fell away and he finally uncovered her breasts. They were small and pert, much as he imagined, her nipples firm little buds that swelled when he brushed them with his thumbs.

This drew a moan, and he dropped his head and took one nipple into his mouth. He groaned at the honeyed taste—sweet and luscious and uniquely Natalie—and then again when she dug her fingers into his hair.

“Lucas,” she whispered. She tugged at the fastening on his slacks and attacked the buttons of his shirt. “I need you. Please don’t make me wait.”

Slow and tender flew out the window, as urgency took over. It had been so long, and Lucas wasn’t just hungry; he was starved. Natalie’s words were the key that unlocked his self-imposed prison. He didn’t need his sight for this.

*

Natalie had never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Lucas. Desire pulsed through her in a raging torrent. There’d be nothing left of her when they finished, and she relished the thought. From the moment he cupped her cheeks with his hands and kissed her into a state of giddy delight, to her lying down with him on his bed, Natalie had never felt so alive. So viscerally aware of every sensation. Every touch. Every kiss and hot breath on her skin.

She heard the rattle of a drawer, then the noise of cardboard ripping, and then foil. The condom. Why had she been nervous? This couldn’t feel more right.

He stroked through her wetness, gliding and teasing her. Each touch broke her apart, and each kiss put her back together, stronger than before.

She squirmed on the bed and moaned his name, desperate to feel him inside her. Her breasts ached, and her chest was tight with emotion. Still he held back, but his kisses were more urgent, and his breathing was as ragged as her own.

“Now, Lucas. Please.”

He knelt over her, nudged her legs open wider, and then pushed inside with the blunt head of his cock. He paused and sucked in a rapid breath. “God, Natalie. You feel incredible.”

She lifted her hips, and he slid deep inside in one slow movement. So many sensations bombarded her, she felt dizzy. Pleasure redefined itself, and the world shifted on its axis.

Natalie had always been passive with her previous lovers. Now, for the first time, she felt wild. Uncontrolled. A forest fire burning up. She pulled at Lucas, ran her fingers through his hair, drew her nails down his spine, and showed him with every breath just what he was doing to her.

Flesh slapped against heated flesh, and Natalie loved every moment. She found Lucas’s hands and tangled their fingers. Another part of their bodies joined together.

His steady rhythm faltered, became urgent, and he pounded into her, every thrust creating another pleasure point. She spiraled higher. He surrounded her, caging her body, claiming her lips, driving her to insanity.

When she came, it was with a drawn-out wail, moments before he cried her name and shuddered inside her.

They lay together afterward, Natalie drawing lazy circles on his chest with her fingertip, while he nuzzled her hair. She needed to say something, but couldn’t find the words. How could she describe the way he made her feel? ‘Satisfied’ was too weak. ‘Sated’ was too clinical.
Complete
. That summed it up.

“What time do you have to leave in the morning?” His soft question was an unwelcome reminder of how little time they had together.

“I’m on a seven-thirty flight back to Auckland, so I need to be at the airport around seven.”

Neither of them had talked about what happened next, and Natalie waited to see if he’d bring it up. She couldn’t bear to spoil things with worry about their future. Tonight she would live in the moment. Tomorrow would take care of itself.

*

Lucas didn’t sleep much. He didn’t want to waste a minute of his night with Natalie. Lying there with her dozing in his arms was the closest thing he could imagine to Heaven. In his wildest imagination, he’d never dared to think he could have this level of intimacy—be so connected to someone. It was as though Natalie had crawled under his skin and taken up residence inside his chest. It’d never been like this before. Not with Alice or his previous lovers.

He tried to rationalize his feelings. Was his euphoria simply a reaction to having sex again after two years of celibacy?

No. Natalie was special.

The idea scared and excited him at the same time. Having made love to her, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he couldn’t leave her. Whether she’d be foolish enough to throw away her life on him was another matter entirely.