Seeking Me To Find You (Finding You Series Book 1) (24 page)

“Good morning Gracie. You look gorgeous as always.”

Whatever dude. I just came in from a run. My hair looks like a bird has placed its nest in my bun. I smell like a sweaty camel on the day after Hump Day.

“May I come in Grace?”

Standing there still in shock, I find my voice. “Why are you here Evan?”

Barging past me, he positions himself in the middle of my living room.

“Well, Grace. I’ve tried to contact you so that I could explain how very sorry I am about how things went down between us, but you never responded.”

Curious I ask, “How did you even know where I lived?”

“Oh Gracie, did you forget that you once gave me access to your cell phone account because you couldn’t figure how to retrieve your call log? So when you changed your number, you updated your address. I was desperate. I just wanted to talk to you.”

Unless I give him a few minutes to get whatever he has off his chest, I know he will continue to hound me. “Evan, I will give you ten minutes then you’ll need to leave.” I motion for him to sit on the loveseat while I sit directly across from him on the sofa.

Evan, flowers still in hand, shifts uncomfortably. “Grace, I know I royally screwed up. We were moving so fast and I was feeling too much that I did the unimaginable. That girl was a client that I was meeting with. Afterwards she asked if I wanted to get a drink to further discuss details on our project. We both had too much to drink and one thing led to another, causing us to end up at my apartment.”

“And then I screwed things up before you could screw her.”

“Now Grace.”

“Now Evan, I’m not an idiot.”

“Grace, I never said you were. If I was in my right mind, would I have asked you to come by my apartment to take out my dog? Hell no.”

Evan gets up and walks over to me. He sits on the coffee table and takes my hand. Memories of Jackson making the same gesture tilt my mind. God, I miss him. I miss the way he smiles, the way he holds my hand, or just the way he always tucks a stray hair gently behind my ear before he kisses me.

“Grace, did you listen to anything I just said?”

“Evan, it’s more than that girl. It’s the way you spoke to me that night on the phone. That just proved how you really think of me. I can never be with someone like you.”

Evan quickly stands and then pulls me up by my arm. It’s as if his whole demeanor changes. In this eerie moment of silence, I feel his hands tighten around my arms. His clinching jaw and rapid breath send chills up my spine. Forcefully he tries to kiss me as I’m trying to pull away.

“Evan, you need to leave now. I gave you time to tell me what you needed to. I’m sorry but we’re over.”

Grabbing my arms and trapping them behind my back with just one of his hands, he runs the other under my shirt, fondling one of my breasts.

“Evan, stop.”

Evan’s grips my breast tighter, causing shooting pains throughout my body.

“Evan, you’re hurting me. Please don’t do this.”

He releases my breast and pulls me closer to him. I swear my feet are not touching the ground.

Trying to get away, I tell him rather forcefully, “Put me down now or I will call the police.”

Evan quickly releases me and I fall backwards on the couch. I’ve never seen anyone with pure malice in their eyes. This is not the person I dated for almost a year. He then hovers over me with his arms on either side of me trapping me instantly. “I’ll tell you one thing little girl, this is not the end.”

Feeling myself begin to shake uncontrollably I find the last of my voice, “Leave. Now!”

As quickly as Evan trapped me he’s gone. Leaving my door wide open, I hear his wheels screech as he drives away. In one swift move, I close the door and grab my phone.

“Sam, I need you.”

*

It feels like
a lifetime has passed when I hear a key unlock my door. I had called my father, Sam, and without hesitation he said he would come down immediately. Walking in, he comes directly to where I’m held frozen on the couch. As soon as he reaches me, I throw myself into his arms where I instantaneously begin to sob. He sits with me forever in a warm embrace while stroking my hair. I don’t know if I can’t quit crying because of the events of the day or because my father, who has always kept his distance, is here comforting me.

“Oh Sam,” I bellow. “I was so scared. I just froze and didn’t know what to do.”

“Shhh. What you’re going to do is tell me what happened and we’ll go from there.”

We spend the next hour going over everything, beginning with what has happened with Jackson in the past weeks to ending with Evan attacking me. Sam’s emotions are clearly written across his face as he follows the events, letting me know that he truly cares and wants to be here for me.

Sam gets up and grabs us both drinks out of the refrigerator. He comes back, taking a seat beside me. After a long draw from his soda he places it next to the water I can’t seem to imbibe. He’s so quiet it’s eerie.

“Well, this is what we’re going to do. First of all, we need to call the police and have a report filed.”

“Okay,” I say, getting my emotions under control.

“Then, you’re going to take the day off of work on Monday so that we can go down and file a restraining order against him. We’re going to change your phone number, again, and install a security system in this house. Right now, I’m going to contact your mom and let her know everything that’s going on and what we’re doing to insure this doesn’t happen again.”

Sam takes my chin into his palm, lifting it up to meet his eyes. “Okay sweetheart?”

My emotions falter and tears start to escape again. The feeling of love, his love, overcomes my emotions as I embrace him tightly. “Okay.”

*

When the police
arrive, I’ve finally calmed myself down. I want to be clear-headed when it comes to giving my statement. We sit down in the living room and I go over all the events, ranging from the telephone call several weeks ago to what happened today. One of the officers asks me if I’ve noticed any suspicious activity around the house and it gets me thinking. I tell him about coming home and finding the back door ajar. Sam looks at me quizzically. He tells the officer that he’s going to get an alarm system installed first thing Monday morning.

Walking the police officers outside, I notice Ben looking our way. After they leave, Ben walks over to me. Looking from me, to Sam, then to the exiting police cruiser, Ben says, “Grace is everything okay?”

“It will be. Thank you for asking.”

I start to head in the house when I see Sam talking to Ben.

“Are you a friend?” Sam asks.

“Yes,” Ben responds.

Sam extends his hand to shake Ben’s. “I’m Grace’s father and there’s been a little incident today that I hope you can help with.”

Eagerly Ben says, “Sure. What can I help you with?”

“A guy that Grace used to date can’t take the hint that she doesn’t want to be with him anymore. He attacked her in her home today and we have a feeling he’s been coming in and out of her house when she’s not home.”

Ben turns to me and says, “Does Jackson know this?”

“This is no concern to Jackson,” I snap back.

“Obviously it’s a concern because your father is telling me about this and I know Jackson would do anything to help.”

“Jackson just left to go out of town. He doesn’t need to be bothered with me. Got it?”

Begrudgingly Ben says, “Got it. Now Sam, what can I do to help?”

“I’ve got a call in to a security specialist so that we can outfit Grace’s home with a security system. I need an extra pair of eyes watching out for her until I can get this completed. Hell, an extra pair of eyes after it’s completed would be nice too.”

“Sam, I live with two other guys that would be happy to keep an eye out for Grace. One in particular would be more than happy,” Ben says while smirking at me.

Shooting him the “bird” behind Sam’s back, I turn and walk back into the house. Hearing Ben’s guffaw makes me want to go back out and shoot something else at his head. I’m usually not a violent person but something about him makes me want to rip every short hair out of his head strand by strand.

Picking up my water I say out loud, “I need something stronger to drink.” I open a bottle of wine and bring it and a glass to the sofa. As I am pouring the first glass of many, Sam walks in and grabs another soda.

“He seems like a nice gentleman.”

Chugging that glass, I pour another. “Really? I think he’s an ass.”

Looking at me doubtfully he asks, “He seems genuinely concerned. And I think you shouldn’t have been hard on him about Jackson.”

“You know what? All my life I’ve been getting the shaft. Right now it’s time to focus on me, not on Ben and Jackson’s feelings.”

“Grace, I think it’s time that we have the talk. This big ole elephant has followed us around for some time and I think it’s time to acknowledge it.”

Taking another gulp of wine I shrug my shoulders, acting like I have no clue what he’s talking about.

“I know that me leaving you and your mom still has an impact on you even though you were a baby at the time.”

Hanging my head I respond, “I’m over it. I’ve been over it for a long time.”

“Really? That’s not what Nate says.”

“What does Nate say about this?”

“He paid me a little visit last week. He said that he is tired of seeing you struggle with trust and self worth. He said that I needed to do something about it.”

“Oh he did?” I quip, chagrined.

“He awakened feelings that I’ve been able to push down for years. Since then, they’re all I’ve felt.” Pacing nervously in the living room, he continues. “Grace, you may not believe this but if I hadn’t left, I would have made both you and your mom’s lives miserable. I was young and dumb. Your mom didn’t know, however I feel she had her suspicion, that I had become addicted to drugs. I kept it so well hidden that no one had a clue. I was stealing from my parents just to get money to buy my next fix.”

“Did your mom and dad not know that money was missing?” I ask.

“My mom and dad were both alcoholics and didn’t notice much, especially when it came to me. Your mom was the best thing that happened to me and that’s when my dad started to notice me. He’d always called me stupid. He drilled it into my head that she would find out what kind of loser I was and would end up hating me like he hated me. That same night your mom told me she was pregnant.”

Taking a seat on the loveseat across from me, he sat nervously. “I had used drugs occasionally but after that is when I started going downhill. I knew that I had to leave or I was going to pull your mom and our baby down with me. I couldn’t do that to both of you so I decided to leave. I’ll never forget the look on your mom’s face when I told her I was leaving. It has haunted me since that day. And when you were born, I came back to see you. When I held you, the pull was too intense. Your baby blue eyes looked as if they could see straight to my soul. I couldn’t risk anyone, not even a baby, to see me for what I was…a drug using loser.”

“But you got clean and you still kept your distance. Why?”

With his head in his hands, he whispers, “You already had the best dad that I could’ve asked for you.” Looking up with tears streaking his face, he continues. “Your mother had met a guy that loved both of you to pieces. You two were the center of his world and he gave you everything that I couldn’t. I couldn’t infringe on that love. His love was boundless so I gave you what I could…money.”

With my own tears spilling over, I start to sob, “But I did need you. I needed to know that I wasn’t just something you threw money at. I needed to hear that you loved me.”

“Grace, I’ve told you that I love you.”

Looking him dead in his face, “You never have.”

His expression of shock and dismay is too overwhelming for me to witness. I get up and walk to the back patio. It feels like days though it was only seconds before he joins me.

As I sit in one of the chairs, he comes and kneels before me. Taking my hand, he starts to sob. Warm tears fall on the hand he is holding. “Grace, I’ve loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. You are the only thing in my life that I am proud of and I don’t want to taint you with my demons.”