Seers (28 page)

Most Seers I’d come in contact with weren’t exactly the happiest bunch of people. Many—like Kate—got her sight by nearly dying alongside others she loved very much. It was true that everyone had struggles in their lives, but it seemed that Kate was even more sorrowful than most. But it was the quiet way she mourned that had first captured my attention. It was unique, the way she was brave for her friends and remaining family. The way she tried so hard to please her boyfriend, and look out for all those around her.

Kate was very special, there was no doubt about that.

Toni stopped next to her car, and she thanked him briefly before getting out of the car. I hesitated only a second before releasing my own seatbelt and opening my own door. I saw Toni’s quick, knowing grin, and then he pulled around the building, leaving us alone.

Kate threw me a smile as she moved for her car, as if she’d 212 K • • •

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expected me to follow her. “Thanks for letting me come along. I know you could have left me behind just as easily today.” I shook my head and fell into step beside her, shoving my hands deep into my pockets. “No, thank you. This mission would have been a complete failure without you.” She shrugged, allowing that, and we shared a quick laugh. She pulled out her keys, and unlocked her car. But she didn’t open the door—she turned back to look at me, one eye squinted a little more than the other. It was a very cute look for her, and I found myself struggling to breathe.

“You are going to let me come, aren’t you? On Monday? To question Selena Avalos?”

I bit my lower lip, then nodded. “All right. I can allow that.”

“What about Wednesday?” She asked, her lopsided, squinty look still in place.

I straightened, shaking my head just slightly. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. If Romero really will be there, then—”

“I’m coming.” The squinting was gone. Her eyes were wide and sure. “I need to help—you can’t understand how good it feels to actually do something about all this.”

“That confrontation will be very different from the one with Avalos—”

“Well,” she interrupted, rolling onto the balls of her feet, looking rather proud of herself. “It looks like I’m the one with the address, so you should probably let me tag along.” I frowned, eying her with mock distaste. Well, it was only partially mocked. A part of me genuinely wished she wasn’t so brave and opinionated. “I think I preferred the 1700s. Women were less independent.”

“So, you like your women humble and boring?”

“I like women who respect my opinion, I guess.” She leaned against her car door, squinty look back in place.

“How about a deal? Some equality of wills?”

“I’m listening.”

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“What if we see how Monday goes. And if I listen and be good, then maybe I can come along Wednesday. I’ll stay in the car if you tell me to, and I’ll be perfectly obedient—just like the women of the 1700s. How about it?” She extended a hand, and I sighed loudly before taking it, my smile finally breaking through as I flexed my fingers around hers.

“All right. We’ll see how it goes. But can I hold on to the address in the meantime?”

She pulled her hand back, shock on her face. “Of course not!

That’s my insurance. You won’t leave without me if I have it.” My hand was tingling. “I don’t think I’d dare face your wrath, if I double crossed you.”

“Smart of you.”

We laughed, and she fingered her keys. As I stared at her—

the delicate curves of her face, her smile—she gazed into my eyes.

The air changed around us—intensified. She seemed to feel the change, too, and her smile fell. I could feel mine disappearing, too.

I wondered what was coming—what would happen. I knew what I wanted to happen. The thing I’d been dreaming about since I first laid eyes on her. But I knew that couldn’t happen. It wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t let it happen.

Before I could lose my resolve, Kate got smart and ended the moment. She forced a smile, and then opened her car. She tossed her purse over onto the passenger seat, hesitated, and then turned and embraced me quickly. I folded my arms around her, surprised at how easy it was to hold her. How natural it felt to have her arms around my neck, her breath puffing onto my skin.

I wanted to keep her close for much longer, but she was already pulling back, before I’d fully gotten used to the idea that she was actually hugging me. Her arms pulled away from my shoulders, and I caught a glimpse of her slightly pink face.

“Thanks again,” she said, her smile friendly—just as her hug was meant to be. A quick exchange between friends. And maybe it had been for her. My own stomach was clenching with emotions 214 K • • •

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that definitely went beyond the bounds of friendship.

But I tried to hide that, and I managed to match her parting smile. “Of course. And thank you, for everything you did today.”

“Okay.” Her lips pressed together, and then she turned and got into her car. I waited until she was safely inside, and then I shut the door for her. She manually rolled the window down, and then offered a last smile. The possible blush that I thought I’d glimpsed was gone—if it had ever been there at all. “I’ll see you Monday, then?”

“Monday,” I agreed.

Then she started the car, and in less than a minute I was standing alone in the dusty courtyard, watching the dust settle in her wake.

s

Toni was lying on the couch, lounging back with the laptop balanced on his stomach. He didn’t look up when I entered, but his words were obviously for me.

“You like her. A lot.”

I didn’t say anything. Only moved for my room.

“Seriously, I thought there was something before today, but now . . . now I know. That date must have been killer, huh?” I opened my door, and stepped quickly inside; completely intent on escaping his words.

“Tough with her having a boyfriend though . . .” I shut the door, and kicked off my shoes. I looked around the small room that had been an office, once upon a time. The fur-nishings were few—the utter basics. A mattress, set low on the floor. A small desk, cluttered with books and papers. A dresser with my clothes. That was about it.

I pulled in a deep breath, telling myself that I shouldn’t have this conversation. I should stay here, in this feeble sanctuary, ignore him . . .

I sighed, then turned and jerked the door back open. Toni was

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smiling smugly up at me, knowing all along that I’d come back out. I frowned at that—maybe I was too predictable.

“It’s not like that at all,” I said, as if I hadn’t stopped the half conversation by closing my door a minute ago. I forced my voice to keep calm, though my racing heart was most definitely contradict-ing the simple evenness of my tone.

The idiot actually laughed. “Really? You’re going to deny it? I saw the way you watched her—spoke to her. Heck, even the way you stand around her. You’ve got it bad. So I reiterate—stinks about that boyfriend, huh?”

I ground my teeth together, and then moved quickly toward him. He swung his legs out, and moved the computer to the table.

He was sitting by the time I reached the couch, and I lowered myself next to him. “What do you want me to say?” I asked lowly, staring at the laptop.

“I want you to admit it, first of all.” He shook his head, mar-veling at the situation. “Now I understand why you enjoy school so much. The world makes sense again!” I spoke slowly, so he wouldn’t misunderstand. “Kate is a wonderful person. I admit that she intrigues me—”

“Intrigues you? Seriously? Do you remember what century we’re in these days?”

I just shook my head, and pushed back against the lumpy cushions. “I try to give you an honest answer and you mock me.

Nice.”

“Look, I’m just trying to do you a favor. Because, maybe you just can’t see it, but she’s ‘intrigued’ by you too.” His hands fell to his sides after making air-quotes, and I blew out my breath sharply, staring hard at the wall opposite us.

“I’m her Guardian. There’s nothing more.”

“You know, I was talking with Lee—when we were at the mall—and she mentioned that Kate isn’t happy right now. With Aaron, I mean. I guess they’ve been in a rut.”

“Your point?” I tried not to sound excited. I think I succeeded.

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“Maybe you should make your move,” he hinted.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” He asked innocently. “Being your pal? Maybe it’s because I like you. Maybe you’re just a sorry chap who needs some serious help. Didn’t you ever like a girl? ‘Cuz you sure don’t act like you know what you’re doing.”

“I think this conversation should have ended a few minutes ago.” I lifted myself off the couch, but soon turned back to receive Toni’s next words.

“You have a right to be happy, you know. You don’t have to be all gloom and doom. I mean you’re dead, but, so what? You can still be happy. You also have the right to go after Kate.”

“Toni—”

“Lemme finish. Now, I’m not saying that it’s going to work out.

I mean, there’s some obvious reasons why it’s going to be strictly on the short term, but . . . you’ll regret it forever if you don’t.” I knew what he meant—it was one of the major things I had yet to tell Kate. Because while it’s true that most people get to make the choice to become Guardians, Seers don’t get that chance. It’s like they’ve already done their time—given their help the human race. They go straight to Heaven. Kate—when she eventually died, as all humans must—wouldn’t get the choice. She would go to Heaven; the one place I would never be able to go.

Of course, I hadn’t thought about this too extensively. Why agonize over things that wouldn’t even matter? Because though I liked her—liked her a lot, admittedly—She was with Aaron. And even if by some miracle she came to like me, and picked me instead of him, she would grow sick of this life. The life of a Seer was not one that people chose for long. Some Seers didn’t want any part of it. Some made it six months before walking away. The longest I’d ever heard was twenty years. And once Kate was sick of it all, I’d never see her again.

Even in the best case scenario—that she stayed, we fell in love, and lived a long life together—I wouldn’t age, and she would.

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Eventually she would die, and we’d be separated forever. And if I thought I was miserable now . . .

It was better not to even try, I’d assured myself.

But it would be so easy to fall in love with Kate. I was already halfway gone, and falling faster and faster every time I saw her, spoke with her. I had to keep grabbing for the side of the cliff—

anything to keep the inevitable fall from happening. I only hoped that she would get sick of this life quickly, because I knew that I couldn’t hold off for long.

As with every time I let my imagination wander to the possibilities, I now forced myself to recall Aaron. He wasn’t a bad guy.

In fact, he was very kind to her. I’d watched that very carefully last night. But there was also something superficial to the actions. He did it because it was expected of him—not because Kate deserved it. He held her hand because he wanted too—not because he saw who she really was. There were times I got the distinct impression that he didn’t know all that much about her. He didn’t understand her nervous habits, why she smiled just slightly every once in a while, as if she was entertaining a humorous thought.

I wasn’t intimating that I understood her—but I wasn’t her boyfriend, either.

I knew I needed to stop torturing myself. So I pulled up a picture in my mind—a picture of Aaron and Kate kissing in the backseat while I drove. It was a good one to remember. Painful, but effective. It stopped these thoughts, anyway.

Toni was staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

I finally spoke, my words quiet, my defensive edge gone.

“I would love nothing more than to try, Toni. But I can’t. Kate doesn’t need that right now.”

Toni sighed loudly, and then plopped his feet up onto the coffee table, which creaked dangerously. “Fine. Sure. Whatever.

Just thought I’d speak up, you know. Be your psychiatrist for once. But that’s cool—I understand. All this time, I never realized, though . . .”

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He waited, and I finally bit. “Realized what?”

“That you’re a quitter. I mean, Guardians by nature are fight-ers.” He shrugged indifferently. “But you know, that’s fine. You’re different, and I respect that.”

“Good,” I said loudly. “Then is that the end of the conversation? Am I free?”

Toni suddenly smiled. “It’s another girl, isn’t it? Some young Irish maid stole your heart, and you’ve sworn off love forever.

You’re a walking broken heart, and I’ve never noticed. A regular romance novel is your soul!”

I gave him a weird look, and then turned back for my bedroom. “I’ll talk to you later, Toni. I think I’m going to take a nap.”

“Um, you may want to run a little errand before then.” I turned around, but only because I was curious by the devious change to his voice.

He plucked up a black, basic wallet that had been on the couch next to him. “Somehow, Kate’s wallet managed to find my fingers. You should probably return it to her, don’t you think?”

“You stole her wallet?” I walked quickly over, and then snatched it away from his grubby hand. “What kind of sick match-maker are you?” I cracked the wallet open, so I could be sure the cash pocket wasn’t empty.

Toni leaned back easily, fingers laced behind his head. “If it works, I’d say I’m successful. You’re going to go return it, right? I mean, after you wait an appropriately long time. I mean, you don’t want to appear too eager to see her again. Am I right?” He nodded at my shirt. “I’d change if I were you, too. Brown is just not your best color, man.”

I didn’t know whether to yell at him, or thank him. So I just turned and went back to my room, taking the wallet with me.

As I set it carefully on my desk, I wondered how long I’d stare at it before getting up the courage to go to her house.