Seize me From Darkness (Pierced Hearts Book 4) (15 page)

H
ard to believe how this had fallen out. From my initial insane urge to help a gorgeous, sad woman I’d come across in Australia, to this. I guess, even back then, I’d fallen in lust with her, as well as a little in love with her bravery. She never gave up, despite all that happened. Not many could weather this sort of darkness and stay sane.

With her in my arms, hope arose.
We had to make it out of here.

Her movements
, as she turned over, woke me, though I’d only lightly touched sleep. Here, sleep was always shallow, like being in combat only worse. I had no one to trade watches with.

It was morning.
Six AM, maybe. The sun was peeking in enough to see colors, like her pretty green eyes looking back at me.

“Hey, beautiful.” Those eyes compelled me to kiss her nose.
Then she smiled a full smile that made me sad inside. “I won’t bite. Or not yet.”

I had my arm draped over her and I stroked her hair, felt her curled fingers stir
against my chest.

Her lips twitched.
“I can’t believe I let you do all that.”

That little squirm she did with her butt re
minded me of her squirms last night.

“Hmm?” I figured she
needed some space to think.

“I mean, I know some people like pain but that’s never been me.” She shook her head and toyed with my chest hair.

I thumbed the frown lines between her eyes. “Did you like it?”

The red blush that swept onto her face was cute. Still em
barrassed, after all we’d done?

It took her a few swallows and head shakes before she met my eyes. “I guess...yes. I even wanted more.”

“So you wanted what I gave you?”

“It was...” She looked like she didn’t believe her
own words. “Incredible. But that wasn’t...normal, was it?”

“
Normal? My view – it’s normal for you. Everyone, I’ve found, has some sort of weird kink inside them. Though not everyone lets their freak flag fly.”

I shifted my arm down to gently smooth my palm across her ass.
That squirm again. I must’ve touched somewhere sore. “If I can’t fuck you, is it a crime to want to keep feeling you up?”

Jazmine studied me for a long while
before answering. “No. I guess not.”

An iffy
reply if I ever heard one. Though I could see she’d been thinking about what had happened, I hadn’t a clue as to what exactly those thoughts had been. “What are you thinking?”

“That...” She put her hands up and covered her face then breathed into them. “God. I don’t know. This is such an insane situation. I guess, I don’t even know if I’m going to be alive tomorrow and this is just crazy.”

“Uh huh.” Gently I pulled away her hands. There were tears beneath her eyes. “Keep going.”

“Keep going?” She nodded, half to herself. “You’re pretty scary, you know, though I
hate admitting it, even if it’s fucking obvious. I’m not a naive innocent, though. I know what BDSM is. And...I really have never wanted a man to...”

And there she stopped.

“Dominate you? Hurt you?” I raised my eyebrows and wiped away some of those quiet tears.

“Yes.
It worries me that this is all because of what you did to me before, in front of...him. You know? This might be just some weird psychological thing?”

Talk about a difficult question.

“I don’t know. What I do know is I want to get you out of this.”

“
Mmm. Yeah. That goes for both of us.”

“Good.” I pulled her
close and kissed her, long and thoroughly until she was sighing. My leg ended up wrapped over her. Maybe if I tried I could make her part of me, make her so mine no one could separate us. I pressed my mouth against her forehead, thinking, hoping, trying not to despair.

“Pieter?”

I pulled back. “Yes?”

“You said you used to give your wife pain? So, she liked it? The same as...” Her lips twisted.

“You? Seems to me that talking about this is more painful than me beating your ass. Maybe we should go back to that?” A man could hope.

She snorted. “It’s hard to get my head around. That I liked you going all cave man on me.”

“I didn’t go all cave man. That’s just me. I let it out around you because you respond to it so fucking nicely. I enjoy it. So do you. Yes, my ex-wife liked being hurt and she’s a masochist. No, I didn’t go cave man on her if you’re wondering because that wasn’t something she liked. We were close to equals in the bedroom. You however, seem to love being my sub.”

I grabbed her and rolled ov
er so she was under me.

After one sq
ueak, she lay there, staring up, her hands on my biceps like she was checking them out in a subtle way.

“
Such little fingers you have.” I pecked at her mouth but couldn’t resist deepening the kiss. Then I wedged my leg between hers and leaned some weight on her there. Her eyelids fluttered down and she groaned softly. Magic. “See. This you love. Being mine. My submissive.”

Her eyes flashed open and after a second she threw back,
“That’s still negotiable. If I say no, in the BDSM world that means you back away? Yes?”

Except when it came to what Gregor wanted, but I didn’t think for a moment that she meant that.
And he could get fucked. This was us.

“Yes.
But I’ve seen a fair few people, men and women, explore their kinks over the years.” I leaned on one elbow and swept some stray hairs from her face. “Once they find out their kinks most never go back to vanilla. It’s like crack, cocaine, and a lottery ticket all rolled into one. ”

She
blinked up at me, frowning. The woman was overthinking, again. There was no better way to prove she didn’t want me to back away than to show her.

I shifted to straddle her hips
then I took her wrists, ignoring her yanks to get free.

“Hey!”

I gathered them in one hand and pinned them to the pillow above her head then I pressed my fingers over her mouth, firm and a little rough. After a few wriggles, her breathing ceased, and she shut her eyes. A moment later, Jazmine sucked in some deeper breaths through her nose and past my fingers. Her tongue licked out, once, like she was checking it was me.

Cute. My balls liked that.

Arousal. For sure. On my part too. I shifted to get my dick more comfortable.

Damn
, the things I longed to do to this woman. Guilt flickered in. What Gregor was getting me to do was like handing a plate of lobster and caviar to a starving food lover.

I loosened my fingers,
lightly slapped her face, and grabbed a nice big hold of one breast, crushing in a little until it had to hurt. Though her eyes flew open, she said nothing except a muffled
fuck
in surprise. I felt her hips arch upward.

I
know my own eyes were wide as hell right then.

I checked her out, hard smile on my face. Damn, this was sexy.

“Plenty of time for a
no
there, but you didn’t say it, because you love me taking control.” I waited. “Don’t speak again while I look at you. If you do, I will punish you.”

Ja
, for sure I would, I might even go beyond what she liked, just because I could.

Her small shudder
thrilled me. I was dead on target, clearly. Her nipples had peaked, small and tight. I took my time examining my girl and handling her like she was my little pet ready for a show.

We should think up
a safeword but then again, if she ever really said no, I’d stop, wouldn’t I? God, there was an extra added thrill to having no mechanism for her to stop me.

Exhilarating was the best description.

There was always that tendency to push. Dangerous, maybe. This situation begged me to go one better, harder, nastier. I
could
control it.

I could.

If there was one thing she stirred in me more than wanting to see her squeal and those red marks come into being on her skin, it was a desire to hide her away so that no one could harm her again. The difference between pain and harm had never been so clear to me. What I did to her, she wanted. What Gregor and his client wanted done to her could lead us god knew where. Sobering.

T
hat night I convinced her to let me share the bed by simply telling her it was so. The satisfaction I got from that was immense. Ridiculous maybe, considering. Fuck though, I’d never had a woman react to me like this.

With Jazmine, now that I’d established who was boss, she was happier. Her smiles warmed me whenever I touched her, swatted her ass, kissed her, or grabbed her for a hug.

Elenor had been my only love after high school. We’d meshed like Ken and Barbie, discovered our love of the S and m dynamic together, ventured into the local Cape Town kinky scene and made some friends without being too involved. Being a cop had made me wary of outing myself, but I’d known all about Dominance and submission. Jazmine was submissive to me at least, maybe not to other men. One thing I’d learned from seeing my friends get their kink on was that everyone was a little different. No two relationships were the same.

If she
responded submissively to me only, I didn’t give a fuck. If anything, I liked it better that way.

This was the most tragic of times to find a woman who seemed my kinky soul mate.

The longer I stayed here and suffered, the more this place would grind me down if I didn’t have a way to deflect. By helping her to survive, I was helping myself too. I wasn’t invincible in body or mind. Neither of us were.

M
y life motto came in handy. I was never giving up on getting both of us out of here alive and intact.

How Pieter was steering us frightened me sometimes. I was still wrestling with it in my head when he obviously thought he had it sorted. He’d work that alpha dominant routine on me and I’d melt at his feet. So bloody disconcerting. Was I schizoid? The terrible things we did outside this little room of mine...of ours, were impacting on me. Even when I tried not to remember, they’d enter my head like a rude explosion. My fingers would be like ice, my heart sped up, my mind would grind to a halt while I relived terror.

Small things, like someone leaning on the door would make me
jerk around and squeak. I was like a mouse.

I hated that. The scars on my mind
must go so deep. How would I ever recover? It seemed impossible.

T
here was one thing that no matter how I turned it around seemed to spell doom. I didn’t want to ask Pieter for his opinion because if he agreed, it’d make it too real to bear. Besides, could I really trust him?

I fluffed the pillow into shape for the tenth time. The days in here forever see-sawed from boring to scary.

“You need a distraction. I have a good one. Bend over the bed and pull your dress up over your head so I can look at you.”

“Not now, Pieter.”

“
Ja
. Now.”

I protested,
but I’d barely
said the
n
in
no
when he pulled my hands behind my back and forced me over the bed. His knee squashed the edge of the mattress down then the first swat landed. It was hard enough to echo off the walls. I gasped, but dropped like a stone into that mind state where I desperately wanted to obey.

I knew this
reaction well. It still stunned me.

It was
three more hits before I could catch my breath and choke out, “I’m sorry.”

His grip on my wrists pressed in then he released me.

Without further prompting, I reached down and wriggled the dress up my body, baring myself.

“
Spread your legs and tuck the dress over your head. I don’t want to see you look out. Understand, my sweet little disobedient
meisie
?” He punctuated that statement with one last forceful slap.