Seized by Love (26 page)

“And”—he laughed a short, bitter rasp at the painful, unfamiliar sense of possessive jealousy she raised in him—“I feel an unaccountable need to keep you for myself. No
other man shall touch you. Stay willingly or unwillingly. It scarce matters to me, but rest assured, my little dove, you
will
stay. Now, take off your clothes. I have need of you.” Her hand reached up and began unbuttoning the front of her dressing gown.

He had won another round.

Nikki drew Alisa to him and caught her in a powerful embrace; his fingers grasped the curls at the back of her neck, tightening, forcing her head back as he pressed ruthless, demanding kisses on her lips, her throat, her trembling breasts, branding her as his in a savage assuagement of the uncomfortable, compromising sensations she engendered in him.

A sweeping movement slid her robe aside, off her shoulders, and it drifted to the floor. Scooping her high against his hard, muscular chest, he carried her to the bed, settled her beneath him, and penetrated the soft, warm flesh that held him in thrall with silken bonds of mindless desire. He fiercely resented his passionate bondage and savagely invaded her, each powerful stroke an exorcising of his frustration. Alisa’s soft, whimpering cries finally pierced the confusion of his black anger, and he was aware of hurting her. Taking her face gently between his hands, he tenderly kissed her tears away, murmuring apologies, whispering quiet entreaties, gently rocking in a slow rhythm that caressed and stroked and roused.

She wanted his love but he gave her passion. In the dark recesses of her soul she wanted to be his wife; he wanted only a sensuous mistress.

Soon they both forgot all else but their need for each other as the driving ecstasy reached consummation and they met once again on the only common ground that offered them both surcease.

•  •  •

In the mornings Alisa watched from the balcony as Nikki patiently taught Katelina to ride her pony and handle the reins of the small red pony cart. A warmth of feeling would rush over her then; he was so good to Katelina. If only he didn’t insist on owning
her
in such a feudal display of authority, leaving no dignity or pride. Damn him, damn him for making her want him, for after six days of continuous lovemaking, morning, afternoon, and night, Alisa’s passions were roused by Nikki’s merest touch, her body addicted to the titillation of its senses—a brushing hand, a soft caress enough to instantly activate the sensuous nerves that cried for, yearned for the exquisite torment and pleasure of satiation. Her need grew more intense with indulgence.

And that night was no different from the rest; a war of words and thoughts, Alisa persisted in her verbal assault.

“Why do you insist on humiliating me? Women aren’t simply things, playmates in bed. We have feelings too. We’re equal.”

“Equal?” he retorted in astonishment. “Nonsense! Why would a woman want to be equal? Isn’t it enough to be normal and happy? You’re beautiful,” he murmured, reaching for her. “Come here.” The audacious thought summarily left his mind as Alisa’s seductive image provoked his desires.

She resisted his advances as she always did since they had adopted their lines of battle. Within seconds Nikki pushed her aside in disgust.

“
Sacrebleu!
” he exploded. “You’re insufferable. Why do you always fight me? Why do I always have to force you? Can’t you admit your desire? Do you think I don’t know when a woman wants me? You wanted me from the first day I met you.”

I know, she sadly thought.

“There’s nothing more gratifying or flattering to a man
than to have an irresistible woman want to be his lover.
⁹
You, it seems, are incapable of confessing to these natural feelings.”

He glared at her lying beside him. Then he took a deep breath and exhaled. “You win. I’m leaving tomorrow. You can stay or go, I don’t care. I’ll not bother you again. Take your damnable pride and dignity and I hope you find them good company! Ivan will set up a trust in your name at the bank in Petersburg for our child. It will be adequate to offer you and the child financial security. And I trust you’ll find some accommodating man to bolster your insufferable ego.”

Nikki turned his back to her and immediately fell asleep.

Alisa lay frozen beside him. How could he? How could he be so unfeeling? He was leaving her in the morning and he could sleep as though all the world were in peaceful accord.

Alisa tossed fitfully as her awful pride waged a battle against her love for Nikki. How could she love a man who only used women, who ridiculed and railed against clever women, who spoke of setting up a nursery someday with some compliant young chit. How could she love him? Had she lost all reason? She meant no more to him than any of the women who had been dogging his heels since he entered manhood. And when he left her, she’d be desolate, life would hold no joy, no meaning, her future would stretch bleak and empty. Is hellish pride worth that desolation and unhappiness? she wondered. Was her body so inviolable and precious that she couldn’t give it freely to the man she loved? But he didn’t love her, she piteously cried. She needed him to love her.

He’d given her so much, though, his time, affectionate attention to Katelina, gifts beyond belief, tenderness in making love. Wasn’t that enough? Must she chain his independence
as well? Was she asking for more than he could give? Maybe it was enough that he wanted her passion.

Then her voice of reason would whisper devilishly. Had she no sense? Had she no pride? To which she confessed, sadly—no. With Nikki she had no pride.

And what good was pride if she lost Nikki? she asked herself with a brutal honesty. She loved him.

She realized as the early glow of morning touched the room that she wanted Nikki unconditionally, on any terms he chose. A restless sleep finally overcame her tortured thoughts and she dreamed of demons tearing her away from Nikki’s arms, of dark wastes and lonely vistas in which she sat desolately alone. Full daylight brought relief from the nightmares, if not the anxiety, prompting them.

Alisa rose just as the sun crept around the linen draperies, determined to keep Nikki there if she could. Standing before the wash stand, she deliberately banged and clanked the china pitcher and basin in the spurious act of washing.

When Nikki’s easy breathing changed from sleep to wakefulness, she wiped her hands, slowly raised her gown, and seductively stripped it from her body, lifting her arms high above her head and stretching languorously like a cat waking in the sun. The early morning rays shining through the coarse linen draperies bathed her body in a soft, golden, iridescent glow.

Nikki, watching, thought her, in that pose, as beautiful as Rosso’s nymphs in the Gallery at Fontainebleau. Lithe, sensual, the sun gilded her soft curves of breast and hip and thigh, warmed the pure white flesh, accentuated the bloom of womanhood. By God, she was deliberately seducing him, he realized, and he willed himself to resist the provocation.

“It won’t work,” he said evenly, the simple statement dropping ominously in the quiet room. “I’m leaving this morning.” He paused briefly, running his eyes boldly over
her luxuriant curves. “And I don’t like you performing like a whore,” he finished coldly.

Hands on her hips, lips petulantly pursed, Alisa murmured softly as her violet eyes held his, “You’re always telling me I must learn to accept my passions, my sexuality. I’m simply taking your advice,” she said softly, advancing toward the bed, slowly melting over his supine form and kissing him lingeringly, searingly, on his lips, brushing her hand against his stiffening prick, caressing his powerful muscular chest with light fingertips.

“Take me one last time before you go. I’ll leave you something to remember me by,” she breathed, the soft words tantalizing.

Nikki strangled a curse, inveighing his faltering will-power but losing his fight against Alisa’s passionate lips. She bent her head low, gentle lips touched the engorged red head, a moist tongue drew him into her, and all resistance ended.

He groaned and gathered her up into his arms. “Come here. My leave-taking can wait,” he whispered hoarsely. And Alisa clasped Nikki to her with a frenzy of hope and desire, withheld nothing, giving her love with a wild, reckless abandon, wanting him to stay with her, wanting to make him need her as much as she needed him. For the first time, their mating was a complete union of two hearts, two spirits, two passions, their yearning for each other totally fulfilled.

She drew him deeper and deeper into her as if she could hold him to her forever, chaining him to her with bonds of warm flesh. He brought her to climax after climax, marveling at the ardor she contained; the final relinquishing of her heart as well as her body reflected in the intensity of her passion. During her convulsions, he lay rigidly still inside her, affording her the maximum of pleasure, letting her feel the full impact as each trembling wave washed over
her. Finally he could no longer hold himself back and poured himself, shuddering, into her, his heart pulsing violently. In that final moment he experienced a feeling of contentment and blazing sensation beyond his wildest memories of pleasure.

He kissed Alisa tenderly, pushed her tousled red-gold curls back from her forehead, gently cradled her in his arms. The scent of mating hung heavy in the room.

Quiet tears filled her eyes and lashes.

“Don’t cry, Alisa
lemmikki
, I won’t leave you,” he promised softly.

She smiled faintly and brushed his lips, so close to hers, with her fingertips. “Thank you,” she murmured as her tears overflowed, and she cried for herself, for her enslavement to this man. She would do anything to lie with him, to have him near her, and she cried for the loss of her will.

Nikki was all gentle kindness. She was his now, completely, wholeheartedly. He was joyfully triumphant. He sent for breakfast and her trunks of clothes. Her imprisonment was over.

After they dressed and breakfasted, Nikki had a swing hung under the rose arbor near the house so Alisa could sit in the warm sun and watch Katelina go through her paces with the pony on the large lawn.

Katelina jogged along happily on the small pony as Nikki spoke encouragingly to her, prompting her to hold her hands lightly, to remember her seat, to keep her elbows in. The tousle-haired youngster successfully followed all his instructions letter-perfectly.

Nikki adored Katelina in a casual way. He’d provided money for Katelina’s lifetime with his usual careless liberality, an act that served also as a sop to silence his conscience which chided him to provide some measure of permanence in Katelina’s life. Insistent, nagging remonstrances that
urged him to commit himself legally to his lovely mistress, the expectant mother of his child.

Mother and “Uncle” applauded loudly as Katelina’s mischievous face lit into a beaming smile of joyous glee when she completed the circuit of the lawn in fine form.

“Mother dear,” Nikki murmured as he sat next to Alisa on the wide swing, “Katelina is charming,” he said with pride. “If your second child is as delightful, you will have doubled my pleasure.”

Alisa’s heart melted at his whispered affection. He cared for her and Katelina and for his yet-unborn child. He made no promises, never even in the height of his lovemaking did he tell her he loved her, offered her no future, only a passionate present. But he did care and she clung to this small compensation for her surrender.

“And I intend to keep you pregnant, at my side, populating this glorious wilderness,” Nikki whispered playfully. As he realized what he’d just said, a new unfathomable sense of the future with Alisa struck his consciousness. He immediately rose and paced beside the swing so she couldn’t see his face, so false hopes wouldn’t be raised within her heart. Resolutely he sought to shake off the unfamiliar feeling. He struggled for control.
Mon Dieu
, it would never do, this giving way to emotion.

How
did
he care for her (he dared not use the word “love”)? Love was anathema to him. He reveled in his independence, fiercely clung to his singular existence. It suited him to bow to no one, man or god, and certainly never to humble oneself for a woman, never again. He wouldn’t allow himself to dwell on these unfamiliar sensations Alisa stirred in him. He’d not permit a woman to breach his inner private citadel again, although the storming was exquisitely accomplished with soft words, soft lips, and soft thighs.

She pleased him, that was all, so he would keep her, but only until such a time as she no longer pleased him.

“You think of me only as a brood mare,” Alisa pouted prettily. Now that their war was over, she enjoyed being openly flirtatious, seductively suggestive. “You’re imperious and peremptory to even suggest such a thing as keeping me pregnant.”

“But not excessively repugnant, for all that.” His eyes twinkled a little as he stopped pacing and joined her at the swing.

“No, not completely, my lord,” she posed demurely.

Nikki smiled lightly at the soft mouth fixed in a pretty moue, delighted with her attempt to gratify his wishes, to appeal to his stated preference for a soft passivity in a woman.

“Not only as a brood mare, love; you enchant me in a variety of ways, but, I’ll admit, the thought of you nurturing my child within your body warms me with a pleasant conceit.” He bent low over her to place the palm of his hand against her rounded, swelling form.
His child
.

Katelina was squealing for Nikki’s attention, and he rose to stroll over to the insistent little girl on her pony. He spoke a few words to her and walked back to Alisa while Katelina kicked her chubby legs into the pony’s ribs in an effort to make the animal move. At the moment, the pony was more interested in cropping the daylilies and Siberian wallflowers on the edge of the flower beds.

Nikki glanced in Katelina’s direction as he stood near Alisa. “I promised Katelina I’d take her squirrel hunting this afternoon, and she’s holding me to the promise. Will you be all right alone for a few hours? I reluctantly leave you, but must honor my word to that persistent little brat.” He grinned. “And I won’t ask you along, for I don’t want you riding. You must be very careful of our child. Shall I
call Rakeli or Maria for companionship while we’re absent?”