Sell Out (15 page)

Me:
Yes. But only because you know good music.

Cody:
Years of isolation will do that to you.

Me:
You? I doubt that.

Cody:
So, what are you and your dad doing tonight?

Me:
Change of plans. No date.

I didn’t say how much typing those words hurt. How betrayed I felt by my father’s unwillingness to let me be a part of his suffering.

Cody:
I can stand in for your dad. Meet me at Veteran’s Park? It’s two blocks from school.

Me:
I’ve seen it. I’m not in a great mood, though.

Cody:
I’ll bring food…

A heartbeat of hope. A night alone with Cody. A chance to see the real him. To understand him. I already knew my answer.

Me:
Are you trying to bribe me? Do you think I’m really that easily swayed?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Cody:
They are seriously great burgers.

Me:
Well, in that case, how can I refuse? But, no onions. I draw the line there.

Cody:
Why? Expecting a good night kiss?

A parade of butterflies hit my stomach; my fingers froze over the keys.

Cody:
j/k. See you in ten.

Me:
ok.

The screen on my phone went dark.

I was really doing this.

I slipped on jeans and grabbed my favorite t-shirt from the closet. My hands twitched with nervous energy while I quickly touched-up my face.

The hall was silent now. Hollow.

My fist hovered at my father’s bedroom door. I wanted to knock, but my hand dropped along with my heart, and I settled for scribbling him a note in the kitchen.

Part of me knew I shouldn’t be leaving. Not only was it totally against his rules, but also what if Guardzilla went home and he needed me?

But something equally strong pulled me to the front door. To a possibility that in the midst of madness, normalcy did exist.

Glancing up toward his room one more time, I whispered, “I miss you, Daddy,” and shut the door behind me.

M
eeting Skylar could
threaten all my plans, but I didn’t care. I’d been obsessively watching the List, writing down login IDs and trying to pair them up with the actions they took at school. So far, I had ten confirmed names, but not any from the inner circle. I needed Blake to do something. But none of the comments or actions were his. Just those made by his stupid minions.

Skylar’s Mustang was already there when I pulled up to Veteran’s Park. It was dusk, but I still didn’t like her out there by herself. I parked my truck and jumped out with the sack of food, nearly dropping the bag when she stood from the picnic table. Her smile could have lit up the streets of New York.

A rush of heat fell over me. She looked great. Better than great. Gorgeous. The near-tears defeat she wore all day had disappeared, and a huge part of me hoped I had something to do with the change.

“Sorry I’m late. The burger joint took longer than usual.”

“No worries. It’s beautiful out here.” She sat back down and stretched out her legs. “Thanks for this. I needed it tonight.” Eyes closed, she tilted her face toward the sky. A soft breeze blew a few strands of hair around her cheeks.

My gaze moved lower. Her ripped jeans perfectly fit her hips, and a Skylar Wyld t-shirt molded her figure, yet it didn’t flaunt her body like some shirts other girls at school wore. She was sexy without trying, and it only added to the appeal.

She opened one eye. “Are you going to sit?”

“Oh. Yeah.” I wanted to slam a palm to my head. She’d just caught me checking her out. I cleared my throat. “Um. I like your shirt. I’ve never seen that style.”

She bit her lip, no doubt resisting the urge to laugh at my not so subtle ogling. “They didn’t release it to the public, only the band. My dad has about a million if you want one.”

“Sure. Thanks.” I offered her the burger, and an electric current passed when my hand grazed hers. Everything felt elevated tonight. We were alone. Just the two us, and I now had no idea what to say.

Skylar took dainty bites of her burger while silence covered us like a blanket.

“This is goo…” she said the same time I blurted, “Do you like…”

“I’m sorry. Go ahead.” I wanted to punch myself in the face for not having more game.

“Um, nothing. I was just going to say that these are good. I’ll mark them on my take-out list.”

Our eyes met and heat inched up my neck.

She giggled. “This is so awkward.”

“I told you I was shy.” I ran a hand through my hair.

“I thought you were kidding.”

I focused on the setting sun, silently cursing Fatty James for surfacing at the worst time. My phone vibrated in my pocket.

Skylar:
Is this better?

Her back was to me.

“Very funny. Turn around.”

She did, her green eyes sparkling like jewels in moonlight. “Just checking. It seems the minute we’re face to face, you pull back. I won’t bite, I promise.” As if to kill the last ounce of self-control I had, she bit down into her food, keeping her eyes locked on mine. I’d never been so jealous of a cheeseburger in my life.

She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Have you always been a fan of my father’s band? Or were your parents groupies?”

“My parents?” The idea was ludicrous. “No, they’re more the classical music type. Very serious, very intellectual.”

“Do you guys get along?”

“Yeah, they’re cool. They work too much, but they still try to attend my matches when they can.” It was hard to explain my relationship with my parents. Close, but still detached. “We’ve always kind of done our own thing, you know?”

“So, you’re an only child, too?”

“Yep. Just me.”

She wrapped up the rest of her burger and tossed it into the trash bin nearby. “Wanna swing?” She ran over to a swing set that looked one ride away from the metal graveyard.

“Um, sure.” I ate the last piece of my burger and followed. The chains screeched in protest when my large body dropped onto the faded strap of plastic next to her.

She pumped her feet, throwing her head back as she glided through the air. Long red hair flew in the breeze and almost touched her lower back. Two flip-flops suddenly went flying. “I bet I can go higher than you,” she called out as her swing rushed past mine.

“No way. I’ve got least seventy pounds on you.” And those extra pounds could not seem to get moving on this thing.

“Which makes me lighter, like a bird.”

She made me feel like a bird. Light. Pressure-free. Invincible. I pumped my legs harder to keep up with her. Right when I’d stretched just a little further, she jumped and my stomach followed.

Skylar hit the ground with so much force, her body fell over from the momentum, tumbling a couple feet before she stopped.

I was at her side in an instant. “Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?”

Laughter stole her voice, but other than that, she was totally fine. I dropped down on the sand, willing my heart to stop racing.

She shook my shoulder. “Cody, you are waayyy too serious. Lighten up.”

“You jumped like twelve feet.”

“I had to win.” She shrugged as if flinging herself off high objects was a daily routine. Maybe it was.

Skylar found her flip-flops and slipped them back on. She offered me her hand, tugging until I stood too. Her cheeks were flushed with pink, and her hair encircled her face like the glow around the sun.

I was hypnotized. She was my fire goddess again, ready to destroy and restore all of me. The heat and energy pulled me closer, and my hands found her waist. Her chest rose and fell, while our eyes stayed locked. My fingertips brushed her cheek, its softness a dream. A few more inches were all I needed.

But the goddess had other ideas. She backed away and jogged over to the merry-go-round. Grasping the metal, she ran in a circle and jumped on for the ride.

I took a deep breath, working to regain the control I’d almost lost. I needed to be careful. Needed to be sure I could go back to my old life after a night like this. Because right then, with Skylar, it felt like my world was shattering into a million unfixable pieces.

She lay on her back staring up at the sky, now red and orange and stunning. I walked over to the merry-go-round and hopped on, holding tight while it still spun around. I lay next to her, our shoulders separated by a metal pole.

“Do you know I’ve only been to a public park one other time.”

I stared at her beautiful profile. “How old were you?”

“Ten.” A gloom settled over her features. “I didn’t know it, but the police had come to tell my father about my mother’s accident, and Ricky took me out for ice cream and then to a secluded park. Ricky’s the craziest person I know, so you can imagine how much fun we had.”

“I read about your mother. I’m sorry.” The website had shown a picture of Skylar and her dad dressed in black as they ducked into their car at the funeral. The site said her mother was involved in a deadly accident on the German Autobahn. I couldn’t imagine having such an intimate moment plastered all over the Internet.

“It was a long time ago.” Her voice was a whisper of acceptance.

“I’m still sorry.”

“Death is a funny thing, you know. I think about it a lot. Dying. I wonder what heaven is like and if my mom is happy up there.”

My eyes flicked over to hers. “I’m sure she is. Who wouldn’t be?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I suppose it’s pretty selfish to be angry when people die.”

“I don’t think so. I’d be angry too if I lost either one of my parents.”

She shifted to her side, allowing me to see a rare vulnerability. “You know who I am. And you seem to understand me. But I don’t get you at all.”

I mimicked her position, and the two of us faced each other. We made a “V” with our bodies. Our faces were dangerously close, our chests separated only by the bar between us. Both our feet dangled off the side. “I’ve told you all about me. Haven’t you been listening to my songs?” In every verse, I exposed pieces of my soul.

“Obscure lyrics aren’t enough.” She licked her lips. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

The merry-go-round stopped spinning, and suddenly the air felt charged between us. The ache in my chest was new and glorious. I could lean in, even with the bar, and cross an impossible line. A line that separated action from inaction. Freedom from bondage.

I swallowed, fighting against every instinct. “I’m thinking how lucky I am to be here with you, and how I want to know everything about you.”

She fidgeted with her necklace. “Because I’m Donnie Wyld’s daughter.”

I sensed the hurt. She’d been used by others before.

I stole her hand away; let my caress linger before setting it down. She seemed to touch the locket when she was anxious. I never wanted her to feel that way around me. “No. It’s because you have “Revolver” on your iTunes, and you know who The Velvet Underground is. It’s also because you’re kind and thoughtful and quite possibly the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Her responding smile invited me in. “What do you want to know?”

“We’ll start easy. Why did your dad name you after the band?”

She scraped at a fraying line of paint with her fingernail. “It was my great-grandmother’s family name. She’d given my dad his first guitar, and then fronted all the money for their first demo. When my parents found out I was a girl, my dad said he knew I should be her namesake. He loved that it also represented the band.”

“You were smart to go by a different name at school. Skylar Wyld would have been a dead giveaway. But why your mom’s? You’re lucky no one else made the connection.”

She opened her locket and showed me matching pictures. They looked very similar except Skylar had a softer face, while her mom was all sharp lines and high cheekbones.

“You look a lot like her,” I offered. Skylar was prettier, but I kept that to myself.

Those stunning green eyes met mine. “Brianna Da Lange was remarkable. Fearless. I guess I just wanted to channel some of that energy when I stepped through those doors.”

“You didn’t seem nervous at all.”

“Oh, but I was. Homeschooled, remember?”

“I remember.” Heck, I remembered every word out of her mouth. My hand slid over, taking hers slowly, one finger at a time. I needed the contact. Needed her to know I was more than a fleeting presence. “Your turn for a question.”

She studied our joined hands. “Do you like wrestling?”

“Sometimes. When I wrestle with my trainer, Matt, I love it. The rush, the accomplishment. But the team? The expectations? I don’t know.”

I was sure she could see right through me. See all the doubt and fear behind the façade. But she didn’t press for information I wasn’t ready to share. Instead she pulled her hand free and stood. “Show me.”

“Show you what?”

Skylar jumped off the platform and kicked off her shoes again. A wicked grin curved her beautiful mouth. “Your moves.”

I eyed her willowy form, unsure if I could hold her without a physical reaction. “You’re too delicate. I’d snap you in half.”

She crossed her arms. “I’m almost 5’7” and strong. Show me.”

Unable to resist, I walked up behind her, and wrapped her in a bear hug, trapping her arms straight down.
Dang it, she smells good.

“How do you think you get out of this?” I kept my grip light, still concerned about her slight frame.

She pushed against me and tried to slide down, but my grip tightened, keeping her immobile.

“Nope, you just gave me a tighter hold.”

She grunted and pushed against my locked arms, slamming her head back against my chest. I easily blocked her lame attempt at a head butt and tightened my grasp again.

“Geez, you’re strong,” she conceded, slacking against my hold.

My male pride satisfied, I leaned toward her ear, allowed a puff of air to come with my words. “No way you could break my hold with your own strength.”