Semi Precious Weapons (5 page)

"You
asshole
."

"What? I lived with my girlfriend back then. I'm not
gay
. What use would I have for Jason?"

He addressed his protests to the newspapers rather than Chris. Everything fell into place. Chris felt like a complete idiot.

"Sebastian, why don't you live with your girlfriend anymore?"

"That's personal."

Chris clenched his jaw and glared.

"Well, look. Just remember, I was his mentor. I had to look out for the kid. That was my job." Sebastian dared at glance at Chris, but quickly started talking to the newspapers again. "Anyway, my girlfriend felt my helping him out around the time rent was due was inappropriate."

Chris folded his arms and sat back. "Now, I'm going to ask you a question -- a simple, yes-or-no question -- and you are going to tell me the truth, or I will seriously kick your ass. I'm from Texas. We know how to issue a beat down. Do you understand?"

Sebastian looked Chris over critically.

Chris cracked his knuckles and rolled his neck, loosening up to fight.

"Fine."

"Good." Chris folded his arms. "Now look me in the eyes and tell me the God's honest truth: did Jason ever
ask
you for money? Did he ever
tell
you to give him cash?"

Sebastian sucked in his cheeks and looked away.

"No."

* * * *

On the best day, Jason would've been difficult to track. Now that Jason actively avoided him, Chris had few options. He found a shadowy alley in which to hide where neither Jason nor the bouncers could see him. He waited there nightly, watching for Jason.

Once he gave up on the front, he stalked the backdoor, waiting for any sign of blond hair or high heels. There were a few false alarms, but as far as Chris could tell, Jason was enjoying himself inside with no sign of leaving.

Fall gave way to winter, which was when New York's weather turned truly cold. Fashion Week loomed. Chris had spent the day on go-sees, booked by even more designers than he had been for spring and summer. Sebastian said his networking worked and Chris should get back to it.

But Chris was more interested in waiting for Jason to appear. Word from NYU came; he was accepted--on probation--for the spring semester. Getting back in school was worth celebrating, but the accomplishment felt hollow. He couldn't hold onto such an abstract notion of happiness without the right person to share it with.

After another Jason no-show at the club, Chris, shivering from the cold and blowing on his fingers, decided to stop by the newsstand-coffee shop he'd visited with Sebastian.

The shop had undergone some small renovations since he'd last been here. The flowers were gone, and though the counter still held newspapers and magazines, a glass pastry shelf filled with muffins and miniature Bundt cakes was located at the back.

Behind the counter were a very large espresso machine and several cups.
The Mom n’ Pop wasn't yet a Starbucks; it still had the homegrown feel no free wireless and bland jazz musical selections could ever touch. The blond barista shined the brass knobs on the machine, his back to Chris. When Chris cleared his throat, the blond turned and dropped his rag.

Now that Chris got a look at him, he noticed the barista didn’t wear pants. Instead, he wore a white oxford with a garter belt with long black fishnet stockings. His apron was fabulously embroidered with crystals and lace. And, of course, on his face was the ubiquitous dark eyeliner and ruby lipstick.

"Jason!"

"You must be cold, hanging outside of that club like a vagabond." After his initial shock, Jason seemed to take Chris's arrival in stride. He set a steaming cup of coffee on the counter and pulled his shirt cuff chastely over his wrist.

"You knew I was out there?" Chris took the coffee, still in shock.

"You're hardly a ninja, Chris. Everyone knew you were out there."

Jason poured himself a cup and leaned against the counter.

"And you just let me do it?"

A smile tugged at Jason's lips. "Obviously."

"But why?"

"Because you deserved it." The cuff on his right sleeve slipped down again, and he tugged it back into place, frowning.

"So that's it? One day of lousy judgment and I'm out?" Chris finished his cup and set it on the counter.

Jason refilled it. "Pretty much."

"That's fucked up." Chris ignored the coffee.

"What? Me? Fucked up? That should hardly be a surprise to you. You're the one who pointed out to me how fucked up I was. With your front row center seat to my one-man freak show, I can't believe you're surprised."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? You're right. I let Sebastian get to me and it was stupid. I want to start over."

Jason snapped on a pair of latex gloves and slid open the glass doors of the pastry shelf. He looked over the baked goods and chose a chocolate chip cookie, then placed it on the counter atop a piece of wax paper.

"Too bad. But here, you can have a cookie."

Chris grabbed Jason's right hand before he could withdraw it. Jason yelped, but Chris refused to let go.

"Please, Jason. Listen to me. You don't understand. You're the only thing in this stupid city I care about. Do you think I stood out in front of the club every night because I'm stubborn? I want another chance with you. I didn't realize… I didn't understand how stupid I was being.

"I'm probably being stupid now, probably ruining things with you like this, but I have to let you know that everything I'm doing -- everything I've done since that night -- has meant nothing to me. You're the only real thing here, and if I can't have you, I might as well go back home."

Jason tried to yank his arm back, but his sleeve caught on the counter and revealed, in clumsy left-hand block letters, a home tattoo reading CHRIS. Jason slapped his other hand over the mark, but it was too late. Chris had seen.

"Shut up."

Chris couldn't breathe. "I didn't say anything."

"But you're going to, and I don't want to hear it. I did it
a long time ago
, before I knew what an asshole you were."

It wasn't
that
long ago. If he'd had any doubt that Jason had been a virgin, they were dashed now. Tattooing himself wasn't a rational act done by a scam artist. It was the action of a lovesick boy who'd just lost his virginity. Chris's heart felt like it would burst from how much he felt for Jason now. "Oh, Jason. Is that what you were going to show me?"

"Leave me alone!" Jason tried to yank his hand away again, but Chris gripped the wrist with both hands.

He leaned down and kissed the soft skin of Jason's wrist just below the latex. Then he looked up and around.

"You got a job."

"It's not a
job
. Coffee-making is my new
hobby
." His lower lip trembled, so he bit it. Lipstick smeared on his teeth.

"You're very good at it. Your coffee was extraordinary."

"Seriously, Chris. Shut up."

Chris frowned and released Jason's hand.

Jason pulled his wrist to his chest as if he had been cut. "I have my own money now. I rarely steal people's hotel room keys anymore."

"I didn't intend to change you." But Chris couldn't help his relief. "Your lifestyle was dangerous. Where do you live now?"

"Why, so you can play scarecrow there?" Jason's hair fell in his face. He peeked up through the fringe.

Chris detected some give and pounced. "So I know where to pick you up for dinner."

Jason laughed and took a Bundt cake out of the case and then pushed it across the counter at him. "There's your dinner."

Not the best sign, but Chris anticipated some sass. "Are you seeing someone else?"

"What, so they could break my heart, too? Fuck you."

"Please. Let me take you out. Give me a chance to make it right. I didn't mean to break your heart. I got confused. How was I supposed to know someone as magnificent as you would want to be with someone like me?"

The ice started to melt. Jason cocked his head. "I suppose you have a point there."

"It'll be perfect. I promise."

Jason rubbed his bottom lip on his
latexed
thumb as he considered it. "All right, but I'm not telling you where I live. You may pick me up here tomorrow night at eight."

"Really?" Chris staggered, light-headed. He had no idea what he would do, but he would think of something. Jason was everything he'd hoped for and more. It was quick, but New York moved fast and who knew how long Jason would be available?

Pulling off his glove, Jason slung it at Chris. "Go away before I change my mind."

"Okay, I'm going. You won't regret it, I promise." Chris backed away, knocking over chairs as he went. He didn't want to take his eyes off Jason in case he never saw him again.

Jason laughed. "I regret it already, you klutz. Get out!"

Chris blew a kiss when the cold air hit his back.

Before the door closed, Chris saw Jason catch the kiss.

* * * *

Back at the model house, Chris was astonished at how interested his roommates were to help him out. He'd come home such a bundle of nerves and excitement. The other models, pleased to see him without the gloom, went out of their way to brainstorm and facilitate the perfect date.

His idea would take a lot of finagling, but his roommates were more than willing to help. He didn't have a lot of money. Though he considered tapping into his student loan funds, he thought of the accusations he'd thrown at Jason. Being irresponsible now seemed hypocritical.

Fortunately, his roommates had all the connections he needed to get his plans hammered out on a budget. Sebastian, either out of guilt or apology, handed Chris a phone, putting him on the line to someone who could make the date extraordinary.

* * * *

One of Chris's roommates, a barrel-chested Armani model named David, worked for a limousine service. He managed to wrangle a few minutes away from a paying client in order to drive Chris to pick up his date in style.

Chris stared out the window, hoping Jason would be waiting, and if he was, to catch the look on his face when the limo pulled up. They turned the corner slowly, the long car having trouble negotiating such small streets. But once they'd made it through the maze of traffic and narrow streets, Jason was in view.

Under the lamplight stood Jason, adjusting the long top of his golden hair. It was pushed back with a thick black band, curls spilling from the back of his head. He wore a fuzzy cream cashmere sweater that grazed his thighs. The collar gathered near his face in a cowl neck. He also had on a long vest made of peacock feathers. The feather collar stood up, tickling his chin. The bottom was also graced with peacock feathers that fluttered in the wind.

His blue jean-colored leggings were too tight to crease and treated with metallic paint, written over by a graffiti artist in bold yellow, lime green and orange. His customary stiletto boots were glossy black, with eggplant-colored legwarmers on top.

Jason noticed the limo and watched it curiously, shifting so his long strands of turquoise beads caught the light. He was so beautiful; Chris couldn't wait and rolled down the dark window. Jason brought his leather-gloved hand to his mouth.

"Chris! You can't afford this!"

Chris grinned. "What, do you think I'd take a sexy man like you on the subway?"

"Yeah, I
kinda
did."

Jason reached for the door, but Chris jumped out to help him into the car. "Those heels on the subway?" Chris laughed. "I don't think so."

Jason shot Chris an amused look and said, "A man after my own heart."

"Yes, that's what I'm after."

"And now we're in cheesy land." Jason stepped gracefully into the car and Chris squeezed in beside him.

"Not much has changed, then?"

Jason draped his arm around Chris. "I like cheese."

"I knew I should've gone with fondue." He squeezed in closer. The feathers tickled him, but he bit his lip and bore it.

"You are such a fucking dork. I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

Chris took Jason's hand and pulled up his glove so he could finger his name on Jason's wrist. Jason tensed but he didn't snatch his arm away. They fell quiet. Chris inspected it.

"I really didn't…I mean, I don't know what you see in me."

Jason relaxed his arm and sighed. "I don't know either. You seemed so earnest. You laughed with no sense of irony. Maybe I was high. I thought you were so pure, so untouched by the city."

"What do you think now?" Chris held his breath.

"I think maybe you were too untouched to know when someone was using you." Jason turned his arm so Chris couldn't see the tattoo and pulled his glove back up, then wove his fingers with Chris's. "And maybe I was suspicious you'd put one over on me on behalf of Sebastian."

The car stopped. They had arrived. Chris slipped out of the seat, opening the door for Jason. He leaned back in and waved his thanks to David.