September Morning (17 page)

“Don't give up, girl,” he said.

“Phillip, I don't have anything to give up,” she reminded him.

“Don't you?” he asked, frowning. “I'm not so sure about that.”

***

Vivian and Kathryn were left alone briefly while Maude supervised the evening meal and Dick and Phillip talked shop on the long porch. The rain had finally vanished, but the wind had only let up a little, and Kathryn couldn't help wondering if Blake was all right. He wasn't due back until the next morning, but that didn't stop her from worrying.

“You really did get smashed last night, didn't you?” Vivian asked, shooting a quick glance at Kathryn's subdued expression as she poured herself a small sherry at the bar.

Kathryn stiffened. “I'm not used to alcohol,” she said defensively, eyeing the coffee cup she was holding.

“What a pity you had to overdo it,” the blonde said with a pitying glance. “Blake was utterly disgusted.”

Her face flamed. “Was he?” she choked.

“I saw you, of course,” she sighed. “Poor man, he didn't stand a chance when you absolutely threw yourself at him like that. Any man would be…stirred,” she added. Her eyes sharpened. “For my part, I'm furious with you. Blake and I…well, I've told you how things are. And I should think you'd have enough pride not to offer yourself to an engaged man.”

The coffee cup crashed to the floor. Kathryn got up and ran for the stairs. She couldn't bear to hear any more.

***

Blake was due by mid-morning, but when Phillip came back from the airport his face was grim.

“What's wrong? What happened?” Kathryn asked frantically.

“He left Haiti at daylight,” Phillip said through tight lips. “And filed a flight plan. But he hasn't been heard from since takeoff.” He caught her hand and squeezed it warmly. “They think he's gone down in some rough winds off the coast of Puerto Rico.”

Chapter Ten

S
he couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd been so afraid. She paced. She worried. She cried. When Phillip finally took pity on all of them and agreed to let them wait it out at the airport, she hugged him out of sheer relief. At least they'd be a little closer to the communications network.

The airport wasn't crowded, but it wasn't as comfortable as the restaurant in the adjoining motel, so the five of them waited there. Vivian was worried, but it didn't deter her from flirting with Phillip or casting a wandering eye around the restaurant for interested looks. There were several Europeans staying in the motel, and a good many of the customers were men.

Kathryn had eyes for no one. Her worried gaze was fixed on her lap while she tried not to wonder how she could go through life without Blake. She'd never thought about that before. Blake had always seemed invincible, immortal. He was so strong and commanding, it didn't occur to her that he was as vulnerable as any other man. Now, she had to consider that possibility and it froze her very blood.

“I can't stand it,” she whispered to Phillip, rising. “I'm going out to the airfield.”

“Kathryn, it may be hours,” he protested, walking with her as far as the door, only to cast a concerned look back at Maude, who was deep in conversation with Dick Leeds, her thin face drawn and taut with fear.

“I know,” she said. She managed a wan little smile. “But if he…
when
he comes back,” she corrected quickly, “I think one of us should be there.”

He clenched her shoulders hard. His face was older, harder. “Kate, it's not definite that he's coming back. You're got to face that. His plane went down, that's absolutely all I know. The rescue crews are searching, but heaven only knows what they'll find!”

She bit her lower lip, hard, and her eyes were misty when she raised them, but her jaw was set stubbornly. “He's alive,” she said. “I know he's alive, Phillip.”

“Honey…” he began piteously.

“Do you think I'd still be breathing if Blake were dead?” she asked in a wild, choked whisper. “Do you think my heart would be beating?”

He closed his eyes momentarily, as if searching for words.

“I'm going outside,” she said gently. She turned and left him there.

***

The skies were still gray, and the sun hadn't come out. She paced the apron with an impatient restlessness, starting every time she heard a sound that might be a plane.

Minutes later, Maude came out to join her, her thin arms folded, her eyes pale and troubled. “I wish we knew something,” she murmured. “Just whether or not they think he could be alive.”

“He's alive,” Kathryn said confidently.

Maude studied the brave little face, and a dawning light came into her eyes. “I've been very dense, haven't I, Kathryn?” she asked gently, studying the younger woman's face.

Kathryn watched the ground, reddening. “I…”

Maude put an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. “Come in and have another cup of coffee. It won't make that much difference.”

“They found him!” Phillip yelled from the doorway of the terminal, his face bright, his voice full of sunlight. “The rescue plane's on its way in now!”

“Oh, thank God,” Maude murmured prayerfully.

Kathryn let the tears run silently down her face unashamedly. Blake was safe. He was alive. Even if she had to give him up to Vivian, if she never saw him again, it was enough to know he'd be on the same planet with her, alive. Alive, praise God, alive!

Maude stayed outside with her, while Phillip went back inside with the others after they'd all been told the news. Kathryn couldn't be budged, and Maude stood quietly with her, waiting. Minutes passed quietly until there came the drone of a twin-engine plane. It circled the landing strip and dropped down gently, its wheels making a squealing sound briefly, lifting, then settling onto the runway.

Kathryn watched the plane with tears shimmering in her eyes, until it stopped, the engine cut off, the door opened.

A big, dark man in an open-necked shirt stepped out of it, and Kathryn was running toward him before his feet ever touched the ground.

“Blake!” she screamed, oblivious to the other members of the family coming out of the terminal behind her. She ran like a frightened child seeking refuge, her face tormented, her legs flying against the skirt of her white sundress.

He opened his arms and caught her up against him, holding her while she ground her cheek against his broad chest and wept like a wind-tossed orphan.

“Oh, Blake,” she whimpered, “they said you'd gone down, and we didn't know…oh, I'd have died with you! Blake, Blake…I'd have died with you, Blake,” she whispered, over and over, her voice muffled, almost incoherent, her nails stabbing into his back as she clung to him.

His big arms tightened around her, his cheek scrubbing roughly against her forehead. “I'm all right,” he said. “I'm fine, Kate.”

She drew away a breath and looked up at him with tears streaming down her pale face, lines of weariness and worry making her look suddenly older.

He looked older, too, his face heavily lined, his dark eyes bloodshot as if he hadn't slept in a long time. She searched his beloved face, everything she felt for him showing plainly in her green eyes.

“I love you so,” she whispered brokenly. “Oh, Blake, I love you so!”

He stood there frozen, staring down at her with eyes so dark they seemed black.

Embarrassed at having been so stupidly blunt, she tugged weakly at his arms and stepped back. “I…I'm sorry,” she choked. “I…didn't mean to…to throw myself at you a second time. Vivian told me…how disgusted you were yesterday,” she added in a whipped tone.

“Vivian told you what?” he asked in a strange, husky whisper.

She stepped away from him, but she still clung helplessly to his big, warm hand, walking quietly beside him, the top of her head just coming to his chin, as they moved to join the others.

“It doesn't matter,” she said with a painful smile. “It's all right.”

“That's what you think!” he said in a voice she didn't recognize.

Vivian came running to meet him, shooting a poisonous glance at Kathryn. “Oh, Blake, darling! We were so worried!” she exclaimed, reaching up to kiss him full on the mouth. “How lovely that you're safe!”

Maude and Phillip echoed the greeting, Maude with tears misting her eyes.

“Close call?” Phillip asked with keen perception.

Blake nodded. “Too close. I wouldn't care to repeat it.”

“What about the plane?” Maude asked gently.

“I'm glad it was insured,” Blake replied with a faint smile. “I came down in the rain forest on Puerto Rico. The plane made it, barely, but I clipped off the wings.”

Kathryn closed her eyes, seeing it in her mind.

“I'll buy you a drink,” Phillip said. “You look like you could use one.”

“A drink, a hot bath, and a bed,” Blake agreed. He glanced at Kathryn as she moved away toward Phillip. She wouldn't meet his eyes.

“I…I'm going to pack,” she murmured, turning away.

“Pack?” Blake asked gruffly. “Why?”

“I'm going home,” she said proudly, letting her eyes meet his, only to glance off again. “I…I've had enough sun and sand. I don't like paradise…it's got too many serpents.”

She turned toward the car. “Phillip, will you please drive me back to the house?” she asked with downcast eyes.

“Let Maude,” he said, surprising her. “Would you mind, darling?” he asked his mother.

“No, not at all,” Maude said, taking the younger girl's arm. “Come along, sweetheart. Vivian, Dick, are you coming?”

They declined, preferring to go with the men into the bar. Maude drove Kathryn home in a smothering silence.

“Don't go,” Maude pleaded as Kathryn went upstairs to get her things together. “Not yet. Not today.”

She turned at the head of the stairs with eyes so full of heartache they seemed to glow with it. “I can't stay here anymore,” she replied softly. “I can't bear it. I…I want to look for an apartment before he…” She turned and went on upstairs. The tears choked her voice out.

***

She had packed everything in her bags and had changed into a neat pin-striped blue blouse and white skirt for traveling when the door opened suddenly and Blake walked in.

She stared wide-eyed at him across the bed. He looked more relaxed, but he still needed a shave and sleep.

“I…I'm almost ready,” she murmured, brushing back a wild swath of long, waving dark hair from her flushed cheek. “If Phillip could drive me…”

He leaned back against the closed door and watched her. He was wearing a white shirt open halfway down the front, with dark blue trousers. His thick hair was ruffled, his face hard, his eyes narrow and dark and searching.

“The Leedses are leaving,” he said quietly.

“Oh, are they?” she murmured, staring down at the white coverlet. “For how long?”

“For good. I went to Haiti to sign a contract. I'm switching the London mill to Port au Prince,” he replied.

She stared at him. “But, Vivian…”

“Kathryn, I brought her over because I knew she was the power behind her father,” he said wearily. “I knew if I could convince her to meet my terms, she'd convince him. But you misread the situation completely, and I suppose it was partially my fault. I wanted you to misread it.”

She glanced at him and away. “It doesn't matter now.”

“Doesn't it?” he asked softly.

“I'm going to look for an apartment when I get home, Blake,” she told him, lifting her flushed young face proudly. “I want to be by myself.”

He searched her eyes. “You told me you loved me, Kathryn,” he said quietly, watching the color flush into her cheeks at the impact of the words.

She swallowed nervously, and traced an idle pattern on the coverlet with her finger. “I…was upset,” she faltered.

“Don't play games. Don't hedge. You said you loved me. How? As a big brother—a guardian—or as a lover, Kate?”

“You're confusing me!” she protested feverishly.

“You've confused me for a solid year,” he said flatly. His eyes smoldered with reined emotion. “All I do lately is slam my head against a wall trying to get through to you.”

She gaped at him. “I don't understand.”

He jammed his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the door, letting his eyes trace the line of her body with an intimate thoroughness.

“You never have,” he replied roughly.

Her soft eyes touched the worn, weary lines in his face. “Blake, you look so tired,” she said gently. “Why don't you go to bed for a while?”

“Only with you, Kate,” he said shortly, watching the color go back and forth in her cheeks. “Because I'm not going to close my eyes only to open them again and find you gone.

“Donavan,” he growled. “And then Phillip. My own brother, and I hated him because he could get close to you and I couldn't. And you thought that I just
wanted
you!”

Her face opened like a bud in blossom, and she stiffened, barely breathing as she listened to his deep, harsh voice.

“Wanted you!” he repeated, eyes blazing, jaw tightening. “My God, I've been out of my mind wondering whom I substituted for that night on the beach, and all along…!” He drew a short breath. “How long had you planned to keep it from me, Kathryn?” he demanded. “Were you going to go home and lock it away inside you?”

Tears were misting her eyes. She moved to the foot of the bed and held onto the bedpost, smoothing over the silky mahogany. “Blake?” she whispered.

“You told Phillip that I had to be alive, because your heart was still beating,” he said in a strange, husky voice. “It was that way with me over a year ago. As long as I'm still breathing, I know you are, because there is no way on earth I could stay alive without you!”

She ran to him blindly, seeing only a big, husky blur as she reached up to be folded against him in an embrace that all but crushed the breath from her slender body.

“Kiss me,” he whispered shakily, bending to take her soft mouth under his. “Kathy, Kathy, I love you so…!” he ground out against her soft, eager lips.

They kissed wildly, hungrily, and she could feel the rhythm of steel drums in her bloodstream as the pressure of his mouth became deep and intimate, expertly demanding a response she gave without restraint.