Septimus Heap 3 - Physik (40 page)

The Aie-Aie was a long-lived creature despite many surreptitious attempts on its life by numerous Palace servants. It was said that Etheldredda cared more for the Aie-Aie than she did for her own daughters—which was, of course, true.

The Bumptious Barrelle of Larde

Although the Bumptious Barrelle of Larde was not called that as a child, his own name was almost as bad: Aloysius Umbrella! Tyresius Dupont. His second name was a mistake on the part of the Registrar at the naming ceremony, in response to a barked instruction from the infant Aloysius's father to his wife to take the umbrella off his foot.

The young Aloysius Umbrella! was an only child who always knew best. When he was ten his mother, tired of being told how to darn his socks properly, secured a job at the Palace for him as an UnderMessenger to the Fourth Secretary of the Keeper of the Royal Doorstop. There was no stopping Aloysius Umbrella! after that—he worked his way up through the complicated Palace hierarchy until he was himself the Keeper of the Royal Doorstop at the tender age of fourteen.

At the age of twenty, Aloysius Umbrella! stepped in as deputy Steward to Queen Etheldredda after the actual Steward had been laid low by a mysterious bout of food poisoning—one of many he had suffered since Aloysius Umbrella! had begun to sit next to him at the weekly Servants' Supper. The Steward never fully recovered and Aloysius Umbrella! was offered the post full-time. Although Aloysius Umbrella!

was by then known as Bumptious, he did not acquire his full nickname until he had spent a further three years overindulging in Palace food.

After he fled the Palace in terror, having slapped Queen Etheldredda, Aloysius Umbrella! took the night boat to the Port and left on the first ship he could find. He spent the rest of his days in a small town in a very hot Far Country, where he worked as a drain inspector during the day and spent his evenings carefully ironing the tattered remains of his Palace ribbons.

The True Glass of Time

In Ancient Times there were many True Glasses of Time, but over the centuries they became lost, destroyed or—like Marcellus's Glass—they disintegrated under the opposing forces of Time. By the time Marcellus Pye was a promising young Alchemist, all were lost.

Marcellus read all he could find about the Glasses of Time. He discovered many things: that you needed a linked pair, and that whatever happens to one will happen to the other. He also discovered that when you walk through one you find yourself in a place that has no Time, and to go into another Time you must go through the other of the pair. But nowhere could he discover the secret formula of Time.

Marcellus became obsessed with discovering the formula, and after three years of searching he had a stroke of luck. One wet winter's afternoon, when he was meant to be visiting his mother, he stumbled across it in an ancient text buried under a dingy stack of books at the back of the Manuscriptorium. Marcellus memorized the formula and immediately burned it in the flame of his candle, for he wanted no one else to discover the secret. He soon regretted this, for the first two Glasses he made did not work properly. They merely transported him through a solid wall, which, though marvellous in itself, was not enough for Marcellus, whose ambition was to move freely through Time.

Marcellus decided that even so, these Glasses could be useful. He Locked each Glass so that only his Keye could control it and put them in ornate gilded frames. He gave one to his mother as a peace offering after one of their frequent arguments.

Etheldredda did not care for it; she put the Glass in her Robing Room and promptly forgot about it. It was this Glass that Septimus was dragged through.

Marcellus gave the other to the Chief Scribe of the Manuscriptorium, who was a vain man and was thrilled to have his own looking glass—an incredibly expensive item in those times. He did not realize that Marcellus was using it to secretly gain access to the Hermetic Chamber. This was the Glass through which Jenna, Ullr, and Septimus returned to their own Time.

After these two disappointments, Marcellus locked himself in his room and hypnotized himself until he remembered every last nuance of the formula for the True Glass of Time—or so he thought. In a daring innovation, Marcellus fused the pair of Glasses together, and they worked. The True Glass of Time was huge, immensely fragile—and dangerous. After Marcellus installed it in the Great Chamber of Physik he sent a number of scribes through but none returned. After his best friend disappeared through it, Marcellus decided not to risk using it himself and Locked the doors.

Now Marcellus was getting confident. He started to experiment. He wanted something light and transportable that he could use to gather secrets from the Darke Alchemists in the Lands of the Long Nights. After the passage of an auspicious number of days—one hundred and sixty-nine (thirteen times thirteen)—Marcellus successfully made a matched pair of Glasses. Keeping one at the Castle, he secretly sent the other through the Queen's Way to his wife, Broda Pye, with instructions for Broda to get it to the Port. Marcellus traveled to the port and supervised the Glass being loaded onto his ship—but while he slept, his first night on board, the Glass was promptly unloaded by the unscrupulous, debt-ridden captain and sold to Drago Mills as a Luxury Novelty Glass. Unaware that he had been double crossed, Marcellus traveled all the way to the Lands of the Long Nights and did not discover the deception until the hold was emptied. Furious, he returned to the Port, intent on reclaiming his property, only to find that it was impounded in Warehouse Number Nine. Try as he might, Marcellus could not get it back. This was the Glass that Jenna, Nicko, Snorri, and Ullr went into—and Spit Fyre smashed.

The other Glass from the matched pair, which Marcellus had kept in the Great Chamber of Alchemie and Physik, ready to take him to any Time in the Land of the Long Nights, was of no use to him. Marcellus put it away in a cupboard in disgust.

Years later the cupboard found its way to the Palace, where it was used as the UnderCooks' coat cupboard. It was this Glass that Jenna, Nicko, Snorri, and Ullr came out of and stepped into Marcellus's Time.

After this Marcellus made no more Glasses. He decided he preferred gold—at least you knew where you were with gold.

Hugo Tenderfoot

Hugo never forgot Septimus and the time Septimus had spent patiently teaching him all he had learned about Physik. After Sir Hereward had taken him home and his mother had been so relieved to see him, Hugo realised that his family did care for him after all, and he became much more confident. When Marcellus Pye found Hugo reading a Physik book when he was meant to be on door duty, instead of being angry he took Hugo on as his Apprentice. Hugo did indeed become a talented Physician—although he never managed to cure Esmeralda's headaches.

Snorri's Mother

Alfrun Snorrelssen came from a long line of Traders and so she was used to the yearly exodus of ships and Traders to the Small Wet Country Across the Sea. Every year after the first frost—and frost came early in those dark northern latitudes—the Trader's barges would set off laden with furs, spices, wool, tar, trinkets and trifles.

They would not return until well after MidWinter Feast Day. Alfrun Snorrelssen always knew when her Olaf would return, and as the time drew near her friends would begin to ask, “Alfrun, Alfrun, can you See the ships yet?” And Alfrun always could. But the year that Olaf Snorrelssen went away for the last time, when Alfrun's friends asked, “Alfrun, Alfrun, can you See the ships yet?” Alfrun shook her head.

Even when the fleet of Trader's barges had appeared on the gray wintry horizon, still Alfrun shook her head, but this time in despair, for she knew that her Olaf was never coming back.

Alfrun gave her baby daughter the name that Olaf had chosen and named in his Letter of Charters. No matter that Olaf had been convinced that his child would be a boy; Alfrun honored his wishes and called the baby Snorri.

Snorri grew up surrounded by various aunts, uncles, grandmothers and cousins. She was a happy, bubbly child, and it was only when, at the age of thirteen, she found her father's Letters of Charter naming Snorri as his Successor to Trade that she became dissatisfied. Snorri had never given her father much thought before, but now she longed to sail in his path, tread in his footsteps through the Castle of the Small Wet Country Across the Sea and, most of all, drink Springo Special in the fabled Sally Mullin's Tea and Ale House. And as a Spirit-Seer, she also longed to see his ghost.

When Snorri told her mother of her intention to Trade in the coming season, Alfrun Snorrelssen was aghast. She told her daughter of the dangers of the sea, she told her she was too young to Trade, that she was a girl and girls did not Trade, and besides, what did Snorri know about the price of fur and the quality of woolen cloth?

Snorri knew nothing, but she could learn. And when her mother found her stack of Traders' Manuals shoved under her bed and threw them into the tiled stove, Snorri took Ullr and stormed out of their little wooden house on the harbor and went to the Alfrun. Her mother guessed where she was and let her be, thinking that spending a cold night on an uncomfortable barge would bring Snorri to her senses and she would be back in the morning. But by morning Snorri was sailing out on the ebbing tide. She caught the southerly wind and was soon heading down the coast to pick up her very first cargo as a Trader. Alfrun Snorrelssen was distraught—she sent a fast pilot gig after Snorri, but there was a brisk wind that morning, and although the rowers of the gig had sight of the barge, they had no chance of catching up with it.

Her daughter was gone, and Alfrun Snorrelssen blamed no one but herself.

Snorri's Father

When Olaf Snorrelssen knew that he and Alfrun were expecting their first child he was thrilled. He took his Letters of Charter to the League Office and insisted that they name his first child, Snorri, as his Successor. And then, promising Alfrun that this would be his last trip until the child was old enough to go with him, with a heavy heart, Olaf Snorrelssen set off to Trade.

He arrived late at the Castle of the Small, Wet Country Across the Sea and did not get a good pitch at the Traders' Market. That night Olaf went to the Grateful Turbot (one of the Traders' favorite hostelries just outside the Castle) to drown his sorrows in the way that Northern Traders traditionally did, and as a consequence were banned from most Castle hostelries. Returning alone across the One-Way Bridge, Olaf Snorrelssen stumbled and hit his head on the parapet. He was found, dead and frozen, the next morning by a farmer on his way to market.

The ghost of Olaf Snorrelssen lingered at the bridge for a year and a day, as all ghosts must do at the scene of their entry into ghosthood. He chose not to Appear to anyone, but a nasty chill settled over the bridge, and many people claimed to feel quite depressed after crossing it. The Grateful Turbot Tavern nearly went out of business, as people became reluctant to cross the One-Way Bridge after dark. As soon as his year and a day was completed, Olaf Snorrelssen wafted away to the Hole in the Wall Tavern, and there he stayed.

The Alfrun

The Alfrun languished at the Quarantine Dock all through the long winter months, where she acquired the forlorn air and the damp smell of neglected boats. When Jenna found out where the barge was she asked Jannit Maarten to bring her to the Castle boatyard. But before Jannit had got around to doing it, the Alfrun was gone.

Wolf Boy

When Wolf Boy left the Alfrun, he paddled across the river and found Sam Heap laughing at the sight of him frantically turning the paddles of the pink paddleboat.

He got a warm welcome at Camp Heap, where the other Heap brothers lived, and despite the endless variety of jokes about his taste in boats, Wolf Boy was pleased to be back. However, he was disappointed that he could persuade none of the Heap brothers to help him find Septimus. Knowing that his own skills as a tracker were not going to help him find his old friend 412, for there had been no trail to pick up, Wolf Boy decided that Aunt Zelda would have the answer. He took his much-derided pink paddleboat down the river to the Port and then set off along the Causeway, which led to the Marram Marshes. Here Wolf Boy's tracking skills came in useful. He followed the trail of the Boggart and arrived safely at Aunt Zelda's, where he discovered Jenna, who had just come through the Queen's Way to return the silver pistol to Aunt Zelda.

Wolf Boy stayed with Aunt Zelda. She stopped trying to teach him to read and began telling him about the things he really wanted to know—about the moon and stars, herbs and potions, and everything to do with White Witch lore. Wolf Boy was an eager and talented pupil, and it was not long before Aunt Zelda began to wonder if it would be possible to break with tradition and nominate Wolf Boy as her successor as Keeper.

Lucy Gringe

Lucy Gringe arrived safely at the Port in Nicko's rowboat. It was nearly midnight, and she tied the boat up to the harbor wall, curled up in Simon's cloak and tried to sleep.

The next morning, Lucy bought a pie from the Harbor and Dock Pie Shop. Maureen, who owned the shop, noticed how pale and cold Lucy looked and offered her a place by the fire in the kitchen to sit and eat her pie. Lucy was ravenous, and bought two more pies in quick succession plus three mugs of hot chocolate, downed everything, then fell asleep by the fire. Maureen left her to sleep, and later that day Lucy returned the favor by washing the pie dishes and serving in the shop. Maureen liked Lucy and was grateful for the help. She offered Lucy a bed in the corner of the kitchen and her keep in return for her efforts. Lucy accepted, glad of somewhere warm and friendly to stay with a steady supply of customers to ask if they had seen Simon.

To Lucy's disappointment, none of the customers had seen Simon, but late one night when she was sitting by the dying embers of the fire, Lucy saw a rat in the corner nibbling at the crumbs that her broom had missed. Lucy liked rats and did not chase it away as she knew Maureen would want her to.