Seraphina: Initiation (13 page)

“Sera! What happened?” his whole face is
serious, but he’s so beautiful I can’t help but reach out and touch
his cheek. His brows furrow when he see’s he’s not getting
anywhere.

“Nate…” I whisper again. He closes his eyes
and kneels before me again.

“Yes, I’m Nate. Do you remember me Sera?”
his blue eyes are exploring my face, I stare back wondering if I do
remember him. Do I know him? Do I know Nate?...Nate.

Suddenly, I feel like the walls are closing
in on me. I feel nauseous and dizzy at the same time. I stumble to
my feet, feeling hands on me but I slip out of them and head for
the door. I swing it open and run out onto the porch, lean over the
side just in time to empty my stomach into the grass. I collapse to
my knees on the porch holding the spindles in my hands, “Nate!” I
scream finally breaking through.

“Sera?!” he asks before I rise to my
feet.

“I’m okay,” I whisper before turning to see
him standing behind me on the porch. His face is all I need to see
to know something bad happened. I glance down, I’m wearing an old
striped dress, that is now covered in dirt. My hands are dirty and
some places appear to have scratches so deep they were
bleeding.

“Let’s go back inside,” he responds reaching
out for my hands. Looking around suddenly nervous I’m outside I
walk back into his arms. He closes the door behind us before
turning to me. I can’t meet his eyes, ashamed.

“Nate, I don’t remember anything,” I whisper
feeling the questioning that is ultimately coming.

“What were you dreaming?”

“I don’t remember…” I stare my glistening
eyes up towards his stern ones.

“What happened at Amanda’s?” he asks as his
hands find their way to my shoulders.

“Amanda?” the surprise in my eyes is all he
needs to see before he changes the subject and refuses to continue.
Walking me back upstairs he guides me all the way to the bed. I
stumble into bed, but stare up at the linens above my head, afraid
to fall asleep. Nate takes his position in the chair beside my bed,
leaning on his elbows staring at me yet again. This time I don’t
offer my bed to him. There are two reasons I’m hesitant at Nate
being so close, One: I’m afraid I might kill him in my sleep and
Two: because I’m afraid of another embarrassing dream. Two things
that are bound to kill me if they happen again! I’m staring at the
linens swirling above my head shivering as I think about the
feeling of waking up with no memories. What could be so powerful to
stop me from remembering, why would anyone want me to not remember?
I fall asleep to the taunting of my own thoughts before embracing
those of someone else.

***

I find myself in an old fashioned
village. The houses have thatched roofs and the street is
cobblestone. Everything is of a different time period. I walk up
the street before I find myself surrounded by angry villagers. When
I finally make out what they are saying, I
’
m confused. It appears they are accusing me
of being a witch and they are calling for me to be burned at the
stake. I put my hands up defensively and try my best to reason with
them. They have me cornered in the village square, surrounded on
all sides their screaming is ringing in my ears. No matter how loud
I yell they drown me out. They are all talking over one another
they don
’
t seem to
hear me, they are out for blood. Looking around the village
people
’
s eyes turn
red, evil. I can feel it as the Devil inhabits their bodies. They
grow closer and grab me. They all have their hands on me, punching
me, hurting me. I scream out in pain. It isn
’
t until I see Nate over the crowd yelling
something at me. I can
’
t seem to hear what he
’
s saying. I try to scream to him but they
grab my throat to shut me up. Trying to focus all my remaining
energy on Nate, I open my senses to him.

“
Sera, use your powers! You are stronger
than this!” h
e encourages.
He’
s right! What am I doing? I close my fists at my sides
as someone punches me in the gut. I focus all my anger on the
people that surround me, the people that are hurting me. With one
swift motion I swing my arm and throw all of them off me. They fly
off me and disappear into the darkness. I
’
m lying on the ground facing the dark night
sky when Nate comes to my side. He grabs me by my arms and shakes
me, “Wake up…”

“Wake up Sera!” He
’
s yelling at me as he shakes me out of my dream. I
look out into the darkness, the fire has gone out and I feel Nate
reach over me to turn on the lamp. When I
’
m finally able to put my dream behind me my eyes
focus on Nate
’
s face and I become
alarmed, it
’
s as if he sees a ghost.

“What?” I ask looking down to see what he
sees. Nothing could have prepared me for what I
’
m about to witness. I
’
m
covered head to toe in bright purple bruises. My eyes immediately
fly to the mirror over my desk against the wall and I gasp. My eyes
lock on what Nate is obviously staring at: there are two bruises in
the shape of hands around my throat. I reach out my hand to touch
them. It
’
s as if I can still feel the
hands grasped around my throat. I turn to look up into
Nate
’
s eyes in horror. Not knowing what
to say or how to process what it is I
’
m
feeling exactly, I burst into tears and fall into his arms. He sits
holding me for a while before he stands to his feet, tucks me back
into bed, and climbs in behind me. I can feel his hands giving off
power and I fall asleep in his arms as Nate heals my body and
protects my dreams.

I’m being woken up again to the sound of
Sera tossing and turning in her sleep. I can’t believe I fell
asleep watching her, I think rubbing my eyes as she begins mumbling
words I can’t make out. It kills me to be subject to this, but it
doesn’t seem like I can sleep deeply anymore. Especially when she
tries to kill me in her sleep. How do you fight someone’s
subconscious? How can you be mad at someone for trying to kill you
when it wasn’t his or her fault? The mumbling is coming louder now
as I stand to my feet ready to do something, anything. Her body
begins to toss and turn uneasily. It isn’t until I see her back
arch in pain as her arms look like they are pinned to the floor
that I can’t take it anymore. “Sera! Sera!” I scream trying to
reach for her arm. She rolls out of my reach. I close my eyes,
trying to enter her mind. I don’t care what I told her I will use
my powers on her when she is in trouble. I’m trying to enter her
mind, but it’s as if there is something or
someone
blocking
me. I mentally hit a wall. How is this possible? How can they block
me out?! I’m fuming. “Sera!” I scream again. “Sera, use your
powers! You are stronger than this!” I tell her trying to get as
close to her contorting body as I can. Without warning, I see her
body relax against the bed and I think maybe she heard me. She
pauses for a few seconds before I curiously watch as she swings her
arm out in a large arch before it smacks against the bed. “Wake
up!” I try again. “Wake up Sera!” I climb onto the bed and grab her
shoulders trying to shake her out of this trance. I watch as her
eyes blankly open to me, she blinks a few times, but she’s finally
back. I’m finally able to breathe, leaning over to turn the lamp
next to the bed. The lamp she had seen in a garage sale a few
months ago that I know she had wanted, but wouldn’t bring herself
to spend her money on it. By the time my eyes meet hers again, I
feel as if all the wind was knocked out of me. All over her
beautiful porcelain skin are bruises so purple they look like
they’ve begun to heal. I don’t care about that as much as the
purple hand prints around her neck that make me want to wring the
culprits’ own neck. How dare they touch her like that? How dare
they try to kill her in her sleep! What a coward! What I will do to
them when I find them, I will make them hurt, make them cower in
the dark like the wimp they really are. I will make them suffer!
There is no way to hide it from my face, my anger must be plastered
all over it.

“What?” she asks looking down then glancing
over to the mirror where she sees what I’ve been unable to take my
eyes from. She looks back at me with those hazel eyes and I see
them begin to brim with tears. What do I say to her? How can I take
away her pain? She finally bursts into tears and falls into my
arms. I hold her tight like maybe I can show her that I’m here for
her. That I will do anything to help her, protect her, I just hope
that it’s enough.

I awake to the sound of bird wings flapping
in the distance. The sun is streaming in through the window as I
sit up. Rubbing my eyes, man I’m exhausted. It seems like no matter
how long I sleep it’s never long enough. Ugh, what a crazy ride
this has been I think to myself as I sit in bed putting all my
thoughts in order. I glance over at the mirror again and just as I
thought all my bruises have healed, there is no sign they were ever
there. Throwing my head back onto my pillows, I almost want to
crawl back into bed and never wake up. I sigh, knowing there’s no
way Nate will ever let that happen.

Climbing off the edge of the bed, I head
towards the bathroom to get ready for the day. Splashing water on
my face I seem to notice my hands smell slightly of… coffee. It
brings up a vague memory of the first dream of the night. Did I
have a dream about Jack? Was it because of the text he sent me? I’m
debating this as I throw my hair up into a messy bun. Put on a pair
of sweatpants and tank top before heading downstairs for
breakfast.

After pushing my food around on my plate, I
told Nate I was going for a run. I think he’s starting to
understand my running is something I like to do alone because he
nods and doesn’t follow me. I climb down the basements steps and
head for the treadmill. My heart once again sinks as my eyes lock
into this hunk of metal that’s supposed to substitute for my daily
escape from reality. I take a deep breath as I climb aboard and
turn it on. I begin with a light jog, slowly waking up my legs and
opening my mind. My wild imagination escapes me and begins to
picture me outside. I bring to mind the feeling of the outdoors. I
reminisce about the smell of pine in my nostrils, the wind whipping
past me, the sun on my back, and of course the freedom of it all.
As if I’ve jumped right into my daydream, I can once again feel the
heart beat of Mother Nature as I can hear the crunch of the Earth
beneath my footsteps. My legs take over and lead me as my mind is
lost in the overwhelming beauty of the Earth. I’m so lost in my
senses that I don’t even realize my feet have subconsciously taken
me back to town, I slow my pace to a walk, knowing I can’t enter
town and bring the danger of my presence to the people I love once
again. Instead, I decide to head into the cemetery. I can’t harm
the already dead, can I? I wonder. Hopping over the stone wall and
I begin walking past the various tombstones of loved ones. I run my
hand along the top and I can feel the cold stone against the palm
of my hand. Sighing when I catch sight of my grandfather’s grave.
It stands out against all the others with the stone Angel
overlooking them all. With it’s drooping wings and his outstretched
hands he draws me in. I drop to my knees as I confess to my
grandfather all that he has missed. I tell him everything that has
happened to me over the past week or so, that I miss him and his
infinite wisdom that would always be able to give me his honest
opinion. Instead I’m forced to pray again, I let the tears run down
my face as I speak the inner admissions of my soul. I ask for
strength and wisdom to face what’s coming for me. I’m forced to
stop when my emotions take over me. The very emotions I’ve been
suppressing for so long—fear and anxiety. I curl up against my
grandfather’s tomb as my tears turn to sobs.

“Seraphina…” It’s as if I can hear my
grandfather right next to me again, his voice alone comforts me.
“Seraphina, don’t cry…” I hear him say again and my eyes whip open.
Standing in front of me is my grandfather just as I remember him,
only he’s wearing white robes lined with gold trim and there’s a
glow about him. I’m staring wide-eyed as I feel my tears begin to
freeze to my cheeks. “Seraphina, don’t be scared. You called for
me, I’m here to help.”

“I called for you?” I ask curiously.

“Your heart did,” he tells me taking a knee
a pointing to my chest.

“I’m just scared…” I whisper the feelings
I’ve tried so hard to ignore.

“I know sweetheart, it’s a scary thing.
Everyone has their own path, everyone has a destiny. Yours just
happens to be a little bigger than everyone else’s. It’s going to
be scary, but God trusted you with this.”

“Are you sure it was God and not someone
else?” My desperation for answers echoes with every word as my eyes
exploring his face for clues.

His face scrunches up like it used to when
he was thinking about something, but then he quickly recovers,
“Seraphina, it doesn’t matter where you come from, God gave humans
the gift of free will. That is what sets you apart from Angels and
Demons, you can choose to be otherwise. It’s up to
you
to
change your destiny.”

“Why? Why me?” I ask him, my hazel eyes
exploring his.

“God only knows, but I can tell you this, it
took whoever centuries to create you. You must be very careful and
take this very seriously.”