Serengeti Lightning (6 page)

Chapter Eight

Mara glanced around the schoolroom, looking for distraction. She’d already cleaned up the spilled glue, straightened the desks and put the stray articles of clothing back into the cubbies. Shifter kids went through clothing faster than their human counterparts, their outfits destroyed by the shift. She kept an extra set or two for each of her kids here at the school. Those extra outfits always managed to end up scattered around the room by the end of the day—even when none of the kids had shifted during class.

Normally, the kids would clean up after themselves, but Mara had released them early, wanting to do the task herself. Needing the busywork to occupy her hands. But now the schoolroom was spotless.

She had no more excuses.

Any other day, Mara would be outside with the cubs, watching over them or perhaps even joining in a game. Today, she pressed her forehead against the window, hiding behind that barrier of glass. She was being cowardly and she knew it, but she didn’t want to go outside.

Michael was out there.

He’d still been in her bed when she woke up that morning. Until she’d seen him there, she hadn’t realized how much she’d hoped he would make things easy on her and slink away into the night. When she’d thrown him out, he’d gone without a fight, thank God, but not before he dropped a few choice phrases into her ear.

I want a family too, Mara. One woman for the rest of my life, the kids, the house, all of it. Don’t write me off just yet.

Mara had felt unsettled all day. She couldn’t seem to get those words out of her thoughts. Had she been wrong about him? Her conviction to leave the pride was starting to feel forced and uncomfortably restrictive.

And then he’d shown up as school was letting out.

The kids had run to him, climbing all over him in an eager tumble. The pride was a tight-knit community, but this was more than just a standard reaction to any member of their pride. It was obvious the kids adored him.

He’d make a good dad
. The thought crept up on her like a stealth attack. Mara shook it away, forcing herself to think rationally. “Of course the children love him,” she said aloud to herself in the empty classroom, her voice making the words seem more real. “He’s practically a child himself.”

He would play with his kids and they would adore him, but who would discipline them? Who would have to be the bad guy every time? Not Michael. Mara wanted a man who would love their kids, but he had to be a partner and a father, not another child to look after.

Michael was smart, funny and generally amiable. Hard not to like. But he was also impetuous, young, foolish and uncontrolled. Not mate material.

She would not waver just because he’d figured out the children were the way to woo her. Mara was not influenced by sweet gestures and pretty words. She made her decisions with her head. Her heart would just have to fall in line.

Mara stepped away from the front window, taking another lap around the classroom but finding everything in its place.

She needed to remind herself why she was doing this. Why it was so important she not make the wrong decision when it came to picking her mate. Mara crept out the back door of the schoolhouse, grateful the wind was in her favor and Michael wouldn’t immediately know she’d escaped.

She had to see her parents.

At the far edge of the ranch’s residential compound, distant enough to be private but close enough to be sociable, a little house looked out over the southern pasturelands. Roger and Martina Leonard’s house was different from most of the other bungalows on the ranch, in that it had its own kitchen, in addition to the separate bedrooms and sitting room. Most of the buildings in the pride took open-concept to a new level, but the cottage Mara had grown up in was unique.

The door swung open as she started up the path. A cuddly bear of a man with a bushy white beard stepped out onto the porch. “Mara!” he boomed, smiling broadly.

“Hi, Daddy.”

He swung her up in an enthusiastic hug before ushering her inside. “Your mother’s psychic,” he stage whispered as soon as her mom was in earshot. “She knew you were coming.”

Her mother flapped her hands at her father. “It’s Friday, you old goof,” she said affectionately.

Mara realized with a jolt that it was, in fact, Friday. The night of their weekly dinners together. Her father returned to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner and Mara set about helping her mother set the table, comforted by the rote ritual, the normalcy of it.

Her parents had been together for over forty years, but they had gotten a late start on their family, not having Mara until they were both in their thirties. That was part of why they’d both been so consistent in their support of her decision not to rush into marriage with the wrong man.
Wait, Mara, you have plenty of time.

But somewhere between thirty and thirty-five,
you have plenty of time
had turned into
lots of people are perfectly happy never having children
. They still supported her, but now there was a tinge of pity tainting their support. They wanted so badly for her to be happy. It was hard not to feel like she’d failed them by not finding her Mr. Forever and living happily ever after. If she couldn’t do it, even with their love as her guiding light, what did that say about her? How pathetic was she?

“Chicken marsala, just the way my girls like it.” Her father shouldered open the kitchen door and strode out with a steaming platter that smelled like home.

They all took their seats around the table, the same chairs they’d sat in for every Friday dinner over the last three decades. Mara’s heart gave a pang as she realized she’d be giving up these Fridays if she went in search of her Mr. Forever. And if she found him in another pride, would he want to return to hers with her? Or would Mara only see her parents on the occasional visit, showing off their grandchildren only on scheduled trips?

She’d tried to think all this through, but the little sacrifices kept surprising her. She’d known she would be leaving her pride and all the people she’d grown up with, but the fear of isolation from her family and the keen ache she felt when she thought of leaving her students startled her.

“Delicious as ever, Rog,” her mother said.

Mara realized she’d been eating without tasting a bite. She looked up in time to see the small smile her parents shared, the same smile they’d been sharing for forty years. Her resolve firmed.

“I’m going to visit the pride in Florida next month,” she announced.

Her father stilled with his fork in midair. “Florida?” he repeated, as if she’d just announced a trip to the moon.

Her mother covered her father’s free hand where it rested on the table. “For how long, sweetheart?”

Mara squirmed in her chair, inexplicably unnerved by her mother’s calm acceptance. “For a while. Until I see if…if there might be someone there…for me.”

Her mother simply nodded, like she’d been expecting this for a while. Her father cleared his throat roughly. “Right…” he mumbled, then repeated the word with more conviction. “Right. You should go.”

It was back, the pity in their eyes. It stung to see it there, but Mara couldn’t say she was surprised. Now that she thought about it, she’d been seeing that expression on a lot of faces lately. Everyone knew how she’d failed. She was officially pathetic. The desperate spinster. A figure of ridicule.

Would people in her new pride look at her that way? Would they know she’d run away from Three Rocks as a failure?

“It’s a good idea,” her mother said with forced cheer. “A fresh start.”

Mara’s stomach churned and she set down her fork. Would it really be a fresh start or would she carry her shame with her, as obvious as a scarlet letter? Pathetic, unlovable Mara.

Her father reached across to pat her hand. “It’ll work out, Mara. Don’t you worry. Fate has wonderful things in store for you, baby.”

Tears pricked her eyes, but she forced out a smile. “Thank you, Daddy.” If only she had his faith. Fate didn’t seem to be doing her any favors lately.

Chapter Nine

When she opened the door, he scanned the room behind her, feeling a surge of relief when he saw that Landon wasn’t home. He wanted Ava’s guidance, but he’d rather get it in private, if possible.

“I need your help.”

Ava didn’t ask questions. She just waved him toward the round table and chairs she and Landon had recently added to their bungalow. Ava was a natural diplomat and she’d taken up the role of counselor in the months since her marriage to Landon. Michael grabbed one of the chairs as Ava curled into a ball in another one, always the cat.

“I take it this is about Mara?” she asked gently.

Michael raked a hand through his hair. “I’ve done everything I can think of. I’ve told her I want more than just a fling. I’ve shown her that I can be good to her, that I’m good with kids and I’m not going to give up, but nothing I do seems to change her view of me. In her eyes, I’m still just a kid with a crush.” He leaned forward, bracing his forearms on the table. “What did you do? How did you persuade Landon to look at you in a different light?”

Ava shook her head regretfully. “Landon saw more in me from the beginning. I was the one who needed convincing.”

“Shit.” There went that plan.

“I wish I could tell you how to change her mind, but other than appealing to her sense of logic, I don’t think there’s much chance of that. Mara’s stubborn, and when she’s decided something is the most sensible course, you need dynamite to shake her conviction.”

“She wants to be with me,” Michael insisted. “I know it. I just don’t know how to get her to see that.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m getting desperate.”

Ava hesitated, taking a deep breath, and he knew he wasn’t going to like what she said next. “Have you considered just letting her go? If she is right for you, maybe visiting another pride will convince her of that and she’ll come back to you. If not…there are other women in the world.”

Michael glared at his little sister. “If I told you to just let Landon walk out of your life, would you do it?”

Ava’s pale grey eyes flicked down to lock on the table. “The difference is that no force on earth could get Landon to leave me, Michael. You yourself tested that when we first got together. You and Tyler and Caleb and Kane threw yourselves between us, but it didn’t faze him. He kept coming for me. Would Mara do that for you?”

He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. For Ava, who hated confrontation, to be so blunt, she had to truly believe that Mara didn’t love him. That she never had.

Could he have been wrong about her?

“No.” He was sure of her. He’d never been more certain in his life. “She’s my mate. She should be with me. I just need to make her see.”

Ava opened her mouth to respond, but the door to the bungalow opening halted her words. Landon paused in the doorway, glancing between his wife and her brother. “Should I come back later?”

Michael shoved himself to his feet. “No, you stay. I’ll go.”

Ava rose too, putting her hand on his arm. “Michael, it’s probably for the best.”

Somehow he managed not to snarl at her. “Ava, I love you, but if you say that one more time, I might have to bite you.”

“Don’t threaten my mate,” Landon said without heat, tossing the duffle he’d been holding next to the bed. “This about Mara?”

Ava glanced at Michael. He shrugged. Ava was going to tell Landon everything as soon as he left anyway. Might as well get the indignity over with.

“Yeah, it’s about Mara. She thinks I’m a kid and nothing I do can convince her I’d make a good mate.”

Landon frowned. “You want me to give you more responsibility in the pride? Some really important position?”

Michael blinked, surprised by the offer. “You would do that?”

The Alpha shrugged. “I’d been planning to anyway. You’re limited by the need to stay on pride land, but you’re also just about the most honest person I know. I figure you can handle a little more weight on your shoulders.”

Satisfaction and pride blossomed in his chest. “Yeah, I can handle whatever you throw at me,” Michael vowed. “But I don’t know if that’s enough to change things with Mara. She’ll be gone in a few weeks. Can’t you do something to delay her? Keep her here a little longer?”

Landon shook his head. “Sorry, Michael. That isn’t how I run things.”

Michael scrubbed a hand over his face. “I know. I don’t want to force her to stay if she really wants to leave. I just wish I could make her see she doesn’t need to go halfway across the country to find what she already has right here.”

Landon gripped his shoulder and squeezed. “You want a drink? We can get shitfaced and compare notes about all the ways we would tie our women up and make them see reason, if they’d only let us.”

“Landon,” Ava scolded, rolling her eyes.

Michael snorted. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Mara left her parents’ house no more confident than she’d been when she arrived. She’d hoped seeing them together would reinforce that she was making the right choice, but instead it had just made her wonder even more if she was being smart or running scared.

A figure stepped out of the shadows onto the path in front of her. Mara almost turned back. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see anyone. If there was even a trace of pity…

But as she grew closer, she recognized the Alpha’s sister, Zoe, coming from the direction of the garage. Zoe was refreshing. She was also one of the only people at Three Rocks who had changed prides looking for a better life. If anyone would understand why Mara was doing what she was doing, it was her.

“Hey,” Zoe called, closing the distance between them and falling into step beside her. “You look like shit.”

A short laugh burst out of Mara’s mouth. She shoved her hands into her pockets and kept walking. “Don’t hold back, Zoe.”

The tall blonde shrugged. “I call ’em like I see ’em. You okay?”

“Fine.”

“Uh-huh. Fine isn’t a way to be. Fine sucks.” She cocked her head to the side. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Zoe nodded sagely. “Me either.” They walked in silence for about two steps before the restless energy in Zoe had to be verbally released. “Men, huh? Can’t live with ’em, can’t rip out their entrails to wear as a necklace.”

Mara snorted. “Something like that.”

Zoe swung her arms and bounced on the balls of her feet, bubbling over with kinetic energy. “You should talk about it. You’ll feel better.”

“Zoe.” Mara used her teacher voice. The one guaranteed to snap recalcitrant pupils back in line. Unfortunately, Zoe appeared to be immune.

“You want kids, right? And none of the guys around here look like viable daddy material, yeah?”

Mara winced. Even Zoe, who’d been with the pride for less than a year, could tell she was desperate and pathetic. Great.

“I know how you feel,” Zoe continued.

Mara stayed silent. She couldn’t imagine Zoe’s claim was true. She had a decade on the pretty blonde. It was a long way from twenty-five and annoyed to thirty-five and frustrated.

“I’m staying with Three Rocks to support Landon,” Zoe confided. “I’d be long gone if he weren’t so determined to make a go of it as the Alpha here. There aren’t exactly a lot of hot prospects for a girl here, am I right? We both know what a pain in the ass the Minor brothers are, but they’re the only quality lions in this damn pride.”

“I don’t—” Mara wasn’t sure what she was going to protest, but it didn’t matter because Zoe didn’t give her a chance to finish.

“I know, I know. You aren’t serious about Michael. A girl like you isn’t gonna be dumb enough to get serious about a guy like that. But what are you gonna do? It sucks, but there aren’t a lot of options. Sometimes you’re just stuck. Sorry ’bout that.”

“I’m not stuck,” Mara snapped. She wasn’t annoyed with Zoe so much as herself, but the frustration would take any outlet. And the idea that a woman would have to be stupid to want to be with Michael rankled on some level. He deserved a goddess. Just not her. “I’m not some pathetic little girl waiting for a man to sweep me off my feet.”

Zoe’s blonde eyebrows flew up. “Hey,
chica
, a dominant female is only pathetic when she lets herself be.” She glared back over her shoulder in the general direction of the garage.

“Well, I’m not. I’m doing something about it. I’m going to Florida.”

“I’ve been to Florida. The traffic sucks.”

Mara walked faster, fueled by irritation. “I’m taking my fate into my own hands. I’m going out, actively looking for a mate. I’m not running away from my problems. I’m facing them head-on.”

“Hey, no one said you were running away.”

“Well, I’m not. It takes a lot of courage to do what I’m doing.”

Zoe held out her hands in surrender. “No one’s arguing with you,
chica
.”

“I’m doing the right thing. I
know
it. There’s nothing for me here.”

“Uh-huh. You ever seen
Hamlet
?”

Mara stopped in her tracks, turning to frown at Zoe. “
Hamlet
? What does
Hamlet
have to do with anything?”

“The lady protesteth too mucheth and all that. You sure you aren’t running away from someone?”

“I said I wasn’t—”

“Yeah, you said. You said nice and loud and emphatic, but the thing is, I never said anything about running. You came up with that one all on your own.”

Mara’s irritation spiked high, aimed straight at Zoe. “Are you always this annoying?”

“Mostly.” She shrugged, utterly unoffended. “I’ll leave you alone. I think I’m gonna go run off my troubles. Thanks for the chat though. A little girl talk is always good to take your mind off your own issues, yeah?”

Zoe gave a jaunty wave and took off at a lope, her long legs eating up the ground.

Mara stared after her, feeling like she’d just been run over by a steamroller. She’d never spent a huge amount of time with the Alpha’s sister. The woman was a force of nature.

But was she right? Was there something Mara was fighting not to see? Maybe she should delay her trip. Not forever, just long enough to make sure she was doing the right thing. She was so confused right now. She could take a few more weeks, maybe even a month or two, and make sure she was making the right choice. She could make a list, weigh the pros and cons, clarify her thinking.

Maybe Michael would help her make a list…

Low voices penetrated her preoccupation and Mara looked up, taking in her surroundings. She’d stopped in front of Ava and Landon’s bungalow. Conversation floated out the window, the low drawl of the Alpha, Ava’s distinctive, raspy alto… Then a third voice raised above the other two.

“Hell, Landon, why don’t you just give me permission to handcuff Mara to my bed until she sees reason.”

Michael.

He was in there. Talking to the Alpha. Behind her back. The betrayal stole her breath.

How dare he meddle in her life? Trying to convince her to change her mind was one thing. Going to the Alpha was something else entirely.

She had trusted him. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gone toward thinking of him as her partner, even possibly her future mate, until those arrogant words shattered everything. Handcuff her to the bed, would he? Mara ignored the flicker of interest that slithered beneath her anger. Instead, she nurtured the rage burning hot in her veins.

She stormed up the steps. Michael had no claim on her. She was her own woman, independent. She’d show him. She’d give him so much independence his head would spin.