Seth's Broadway Diary, Volume 1: Part 1 (30 page)

In England, partners of clergy get citizenship, and they give those rights to gay partners… as opposed to the U.S. David had so many negative feelings about his performing skills that he started working at a hair salon! He had always cut his friends’ hair, so he knew he had a flair for it. He agreed to work as an apprentice at an upscale hair salon (making appointments, getting coffee) even though it would take four years (!) to become a full time hair cutter. Well, one day his boss started yelling at him in front of the whole salon because of a mistake he didn't even make. He decided to quit and started auditioning again.

David went to an open call for the tour of
Miss Saigon
, and while he was there, he realized that he could completely reinvent himself. No one knew who he was or any of his history. He decided he would walk into the audition like he was a star. He usually is super friendly at auditions to show how easy he would be to work with, but instead he decided not to even think about being "nice" and just knocked his performance to the back wall like he was playing Radio City Music Hall! Normally, he makes eye contact with the auditioners, but this time he decided to play his song to the "balcony." After he sang, there wasn't applause. There was silence, and then they thanked him. Ouchy wowy. He was devastated as he left the room, and while he was on the way out, someone ran out of the audition room, "Is David Bedella still here?" Yes! They told him that they were calling him back to sing for Cameron Mackintosh.

They asked him to learn a certain part in
Miss Saigon
from the CD. The role didn't have a first name and David didn't know the score to
Miss Saigon
, so he thought it was probably like the Factory Girl in
Les Miz
("And what have we here little innocent sister…"). In other words, a great little 32-bar feature. He asked if he would be able to recognize what role it was when he listened to the CD and the casting person said, dry British-style, "Darling, it's the lead." The only thing missing was the casting person peering over a
pince-nez
. The role was the Engineer, and David immediately set out to get an agent before the callback because if he got the gig, he'd need someone to negotiate. He asked around for the newest, hungriest agent and found a young guy who had just left a big agency. The guy was working out of his apartment, but when he met David he rattled off a list of clients he had… and they were essentially all playing leading roles on the West End. David had his new "I'm a star" attitude, and the agent said that he's never signed anybody without hearing them first, but was so impressed with David that he would take a chance. David went to the callback for Cameron Mackintosh, and lo and behold, got the offer for the Engineer!
But
he was told that the man who had played the Engineer before would start out the tour in London… and then David would take over. In other words, the other guy would do the "important" cities, and then David would take on the lesser ones. David thought about what he went through on Broadway… and how he wanted to re-invent himself… and told his agent to tell the powers that be that, with all due respect, he was not an understudy or replacement, and he forced himself to wait for a role that would be his. That's right, he turned down the job!

He wound up doing a revue that toured to Australia and, when he got back, was offered an audition to play the devil in
Jerry Springer
. He was not a fan of the TV show in America, and decided to turn down the audition. Finally, his agent convinced him that the show was gonna be fabulous, and David tried out. He got offered the part, wound up starring on the West End for two years… and won the Olivier Award! So, from now on fellow actors, go into auditions acting like you're a star. And then, turn down a role after you're offered it. And eventually, you'll win an Olivier…
or
wind up getting a terrible, terrible reputation.

And finally,
Lend Me a Tenor
has been going great. When we first began performances, we had some technical difficulties and in the scene where Jim Poulos is supposed to get a wake-up phone call, the phone didn't ring. So, as he was lying there "asleep," he decided to ad lib a line to cover up. Unfortunately, he got nervous so instead of saying, "My internal clock says that it’s time to wake up," he wound up saying "My
biological
clock says that it's time to wake up." Then, to continue the headachiness of the scene, while he was pretending to have a phone conversation, the phone finally rang. The good news is that the audiences are loving the show, and I think the cast and our director are so super-talented.

Peace out til next week!

Critics Are Always Right (This Time)

January 29, 2008

Well, I vowed I wouldn't look at any reviews,
but
I was reading
Newsday
(you can take the boy out of Long Island…), and as I turned a page I saw a picture from the Northport, Long Island, production of
Lend Me a Tenor
and the headline, "John W. Engeman Theater Has Its First Big Hit," so of course I had to read it. And by "read it" I mean scan to find my name.

The whole show got a great review, and my particular shout out was: "Seth Rudetsky as the bellhop delivers champagne with bubbly impertinence." Yes! I
knew
my impertinence would pay off one day. Take that, former AP English teacher, Mrs. Jaffe! Senior year in high school I somehow manipulated myself into AP English even though, as Mrs. Jaffe later publicly informed me, "they warned me not to put you in this class!" I was consistently busted for the aforementioned impertinence and things like whispering in class, using
Cliff's Notes
,
etc. until finally she pointed to me in the middle of class one day and let loose with,

"Seth…

you're useless,

you're fruitless,

and what's more, I don't like you."

I was mortified… yet, impressed by her prose. First of all, the ingenious (if false) rhyme scheme (
useless
=
fruitless
) and then the shocking ending (
what's more I don't like you
). It was like a hostile haiku.

Thursday was our opening and I forgot to write that my friend Marco (who created
Caroline In The City
and is currently the showrunner for
Ugly Betty
) emailed to wish me luck. I was waiting for the flowers I assumed I'd get from him since he sent me an enormous bouquet when I opened in
The Ritz
but then I noticed there was a P.S. at the end of the letter: "For Broadway you get roses, for Long Island… a warm email." Hmm… his honesty was
not
refreshing.

James, Juli and I wanted to see
The Golden Compass
on Monday afternoon, but because it was a holiday, the afternoon showing was sold out
!
P.S. 6 years later… still haven’t seen it
!
I'm completely obsessed with that book series, and I don't know who was more devastated; me or seven-year-old Juli. Let's just say that her crying was on the outside but mine was on the inside and much, much more intense. We were on 42nd Street, so we wound up going to
Ripley's Believe It Or Not
Museum and, "believe it or not," we all had a great time! There were so many cool things there for adults and children. Of course, Juli asked us, "What's this?" while we were walking through some exhibit about the human body as she repeatedly pushed a button that inflated a t-shirt to give it an enormous rack. James and I looked at each other, speechless, until I came up with an amazing answer: "I don't know." I'm sure that satisfied her curiosity.

This week at Sirius radio I interviewed one of my best friends, Paul Castree, who's currently playing Gerald the Herald amongst other roles in
Young Frankenstein
. I first met Paul when he was an understudy in
Forever Plaid
and I was the music director. I summed him up as a super-nerd the first day I met him because he was wearing a button-down sweater (my judgments are quick, decisive and moronic), and I wound up totally snubbing him for a week. I then realized how hilarious and talented he was and we became friends. Finally, I decided to apologize to him for completely ignoring him for the first week of rehearsal and the amazing double-triple-whammy bust on me is that he never noticed my week-long snub! I assumed he spent the beginning of his run lamenting, "Why isn't that hilarious music director honoring me with his glance?" and instead he was thinking, "What's my harmony?" and "What're my lines?" and "I notice in my peripheral vision there is a man playing the piano."

Paul has my favorite First Audition in New York Story. He was living in Rockford, IL (where he had gone to high school with Marin Mazzie, Jodi Benson
and
Joe Mantello!) and had just finished working at Opryland. Tim Schultheis (now an amazing photographer who did my 8x10!) was living in New York and told Paul that, according to
Backstage
, the
Bye Bye Birdie
tour with Tommy Tune was looking for "tenors with Midwestern looks." (Paul has a crazy high voice and bright orange hair.) New York City? Paul said it was like someone saying, "There are some great rocks on the moon. Come get them!" Nevertheless, after much pressing, Tim convinced Paul to fly to New York for the open call. Two days later, at 8 AM, Paul showed up at Equity in his "audition" outfit, which (unfortunately) consisted of jeans, high top sneakers and a multi-colored shirt he got at Kmart.

Stuart Howard was casting and asked all the non-Equity people who were auditioning to come into the room and line up. It wasn't for a firing squad, but close to it. He pointed at a few of them and asked them to stay… and the rest got a "thank you very much." Paul didn't even know there was such a thing as "typing" people and was so thankful that he dodged that bullet. It would have been really fun to fly across the country for $650 (that was a
huge
amount of money in the early '90s) to be at an audition for ten seconds and get thank-you-very-muched.

They asked the men to dance and, afterward, Paul was asked to stay and sing! He showed the pianist his song ("Magic Changes" from
Grease
), and the pianist shook his head and told him that the casting people didn't want
anything
from
Grease
. Paul was devastated because he had nothing else in his book, but decided to mask his devastation with blank-faced confidence. "That's what I've prepared, and that's what I'll be singing." He wasn't sure if he was going to get his 16 bars thrown back in his face, but apparently his fake confidence stunned the pianist into temporary silence, and Paul used that opportunity to walk center and nod politely. The pianist started playing, Paul sang and he was then asked to read!
Yes!
The only goal Paul had set for himself was to be able to sing at a real New York audition, and he'd reached it. Everything else was now delicious icing on the cake.

Stuart Howard asked him to read for the role of Hugo Peabody. Paul worked on it in the lobby and came back in and gave it the reading of his life. He was selling it to the back row. One minute into his high-energy read, Stuart put up his hand and said "Stop! Paul… this isn't children's theatre." Ouch. I guess his version of high-energy had the essence of "Milady! The moat is being crossed by a fire-breathing dragon! Everybody… clap if you're scared of dragons!
I can't hear you
!"

Anyway, Paul toned it down and was then asked to hang around. A whole bunch of other guys came in and lined up for Stuart. They were all dressed in New York dance outfits: black pants, black shirts and black dance shoes. Stuart announced that they all should come back that evening for a callback at the Uris Theatre with Tommy Tune. He then looked at the guys in their various hip audition outfits and lambasted them. "Didn't you read the breakdown? The show needs guys with
Midwestern looks
! I want you all to go home, clean yourself up, change your outfits and come back looking like
him
!" He then pointed at Paul. That's right! His Kmart shirt paid off!

Paul found his way to the Uris (now the Gershwin), which, incidentally, was where he saw his first Broadway show (
Sweeney Todd
) when he was in high school. And now he had returned, but this time he was
backstage
… auditioning for a multiple Tony Award-winner! Paul waited backstage while the ladies lined up onstage. Paul assumed that all Broadway callbacks happened on a Broadway stage. He didn't find out until later that nowadays they usually take place in a little rehearsal room, and nowadays they only happen on a Broadway stage in Lifetime movies about Broadway.

The ladies each had to do a tap combination while Tommy Tune stood in the audience at their foot level and critiqued their tapping. Wow. That's intense. He'd watch them and say "Um… you missed a sound on the second flap," and make them do it again. All the ladies danced and sang and then Paul saw a few come backstage and get their bags. Suddenly the remaining ladies onstage began screaming and hugging each other. "What's going on?" Paul asked one who was running by him in a tizzy. "We just found out we got the gig!" she screamed. "We're going on tour! I have to call my Mom!" Paul was in shock. He thought today was the first of many auditions. Turns out it was the day of the
final
callback. He realized he would find out by the end of the day whether or not he got it!