Seth's Cravings: An Endless Series: Book 2 (60 page)

     “Luka…” I croaked. “Let me go in there and explain to
her what happened. I was having some issues with my dad, that’s the only reason
why I was holding off on telling them about her. I can make this right.”

     Luka shook his head, only looking half as mad now, but
the other half was a tired sorrow. “I promised her I wouldn’t let you in. I
can’t break that promise. She might forgive you, but I don’t know so I can’t
risk it.”

     I also couldn’t ask him to. I was just going to have to
wait, no matter how much it killed me. I deserved to suffer, but I hated
thinking about Nadia immersed in sadness because of me.

     “Tell her about Melissa, will you? And that the only
reason I didn’t tell my parents was because I was having some issues with my
dad. I’d planned on telling them, I just wanted to wait a little longer for our
relationship to have more longevity in his mind. I was making some plans that
concerned her and I was afraid my dad was going to shit all over them if he
found out about her too soon.”

     Luka frowned. “The Melissa parts easy, but the rest
sounds complicated.”

     “That’s why I need to talk to her about it.” I
stressed.

     “Maybe after a couple days. I’ll tell her what you said
and hopefully she’ll hear you out.”

     I knew that was the best he could offer me. I didn’t
want to stick him in the middle of Nadia’s and my conflict, and I knew she
wouldn’t appreciate it. In fact, it would only work against me.

     “How’s Issy doing?” Her distressed cry from the
backseat had wrenched at my heart more.

     Luka sighed. “She was upset, is still upset, and in her
room lying down at the moment.”

     “This may be asking a lot, but can I talk to her for
one minute?” This could get me in a lot of trouble with Nadia, but I couldn’t
leave without trying to make Issy feel better.

     Luka stared at me, and I could see he was debating.
“Okay, one minute. If Nadia finds out she’ll flip.”

     He went inside and was back within thirty seconds with
Issy. She was hiding behind him watching me with timid eyes. It cut me thinking
she was hesitant around me now.

     I bent down to one knee so I was more at eye level. “Hey
Issy. I’m sorry for everything that happened today.”

     She frowned in confused sadness. “I’m not sure what
happened, only that Nadezhda was really mad at you and now she’s really sad.
I’ve never seen her cry.” Issy’s voice choked up and she pushed her face into
Luka’s back.

     I wanted to cry along with her. “She has a right to be
mad at me, I did something stupid, but I hope she can forgive me soon and then I
can make her feel better.”

     Issy wiped her face on the back of Luka’s shirt and
then looked at me with a hopeful expression. “You’re going to make her feel
better? Right now? So she’ll stop crying?”

     Fuck, I wish. I needed to figure out how to explain
this to her so she would understand. “Nadia is too mad at me right now to talk,
but I hope after some time passes she’ll want to talk to me. Have you ever been
so mad at someone that you just couldn’t talk to them, but then some time
passes and you are able to talk to them again?”

     She frowned. “Yes. That happened with me and Jenny. She
ripped a page out of my book. She was handling it too roughly. She apologized
right away but I was too mad to listen. After a couple hours we were playing
together again. Maybe you should come back after a couple hours when Nadia’s
done crying, and then she can be happy again.”

     Shit, can my chest be eviscerated any more than it was?
Luka was looking down at me with a pointed look. “We’ll see,” was all I could
come up with to say. It was my extreme hope that she would call me today and we
could talk and get this all straightened out, but it felt like a dim hope.

     “I want you to know that I love your sister, and you,
and even your big goofy brother.” I was trying to make her smile and mercifully
I got one. Seth just rolled his eyes. “Can you do me a favor and be extra nice
to your sister until this get fixed?” And it would get fixed.

     Issy nodded sadly. “Okay.”

     Standing up I forced a smile. “I’ll see you guys later
then.”

     Turning I walked away with the weight of Alaska on my shoulders and a massive hole in my chest.   

     Birthdays sucked!

Chapter Thirty-Five

NADIA

     Lying on the couch I stared listlessly at the ceiling.
My eyes were swollen and stinging like a bitch and I rubbed at them tiredly. It
was Sunday and I barely got any sleep last night. Luka had seemed to know what
I would need today and had made plans with Carrie’s cousin, Samantha. They had
been getting close since the beach house, hanging out every now and then, and
she’d come over this morning to drive Issy and Luka to church.

     My phone buzzed again and my eyes arrowed to it. Seth
had texted four times this morning, once every hour since seven o’clock, but I’d
been ignoring them.

     Luka had informed me through the bedroom door last
night what Seth had relayed to him, and although I said I didn’t care I’d
listened avidly to what kind of explanation he thought would justify everything
I’d heard and seen.

     His account of Melissa’s unreasonable behavior had some
truth to it, but how come this was the first time I was hearing about her. It
sounded like he had been dating her right before we started seeing each other,
but he’d told me he hadn’t
been
with another female in four months.

     Wait…no…he’d said he’d only been with
one
female
in four months. He’d tricked me with his wording…well, maybe not, I’d jumped to
a conclusion…but he hadn’t corrected me when I jumped. Was that lying or
fudging? At the moment it felt like a big lie.

     Then there was the thing with his parents not knowing
who I was.

     I might have been able to overlook that if he hadn’t
gone home to visit them two weeks prior, but he had. I knew he had a good
relationship with his parent’s; he talked about them with fondness, so why
wouldn’t he mention me?

     He’d told Luka that he’d been having some ‘
issues’
with his father, but what issues would stop him from revealing my identity? His
parent’s didn’t seem to have any problem with Melissa being his girlfriend.
What was wrong with me? Were they snobs? He hadn’t made them out to be. To me,
it seemed like he was making excuses, trying to play catch up with his lies.

     Everything was just too similar to what my father had
done; having two lives, deceiving everyone around him. I felt like I’d been
played.

     He knew how I felt about liar’s, about deceptions. How
could he say he loved me and have done what he did?  

     My mind couldn’t go over all the questions any longer.
I’d been asking them all night, but ended up going in circles, the same
questions over and over again. My head and heart hurt with it all.

     A knock on the door had me jumping in anxiety. I shot
up to a sitting position staring at the door wildly. Was it Seth? I couldn’t
see him right now. My anger was still there, but the hurt pulsed like an open
wound that I didn’t want him to see.

     The knock came again. “Nadezhda Cherkesov?”

     I frowned. That wasn’t Seth’s voice. Disappointment
washed through me and I was angry at myself for caring still. Hauling my butt
off the couch I walked to the door and opened it with the latch on.

     I was stunned to see who was on the other side, and the
sight of him charged up my already out-of-control emotions.

     Unlatching the chain I yanked open the door. “What are
you doing here, Cole Barber? Have you come to throw more slurs at me and my
mother?” My voice came out hoarse from all the crying I’d done last night as I
yelled at the oldest of my half-brothers.

     He stood there stoically, scrutinizing my appearance
with intent amber eyes. Yeah, I was a mess. I was in long pajama pants and a
t-shirt with a sweater thrown on for warmth, my hair was up in a messy
pony-tail, and my face was red and puffy from crying.

     Cole was dressed in charcoal dress slacks with an open
collared, button down, light gray shirt. His short dark brown hair was slightly
ruffled from either the wind or his hands. He was even better-looking than
Graham, and had only a slight resemblance to
otets
.

     “I’m not here to sling slurs. My brother let slip that
he’d met you. He also enlightened me on what he said to you, and I had to meet
with you. I’m sorry I seem to be catching you when you’re sick.” Sick at heart
maybe. “If you want me to leave I will, but I would like us to talk at some
point.”

     Cole’s tone actually sounded concerned, but I didn’t
trust in my ability to read people any longer. Seth had screwed me all up.

     “If your brother told you what he said to me he must
have also told you what I did to him. Did you think to come here and threaten
me with the police?” I sneered.

     Cole frowned. “No. It sounds like my brother deserved
what he got.”

     He surprised me with that. I sighed. I’d always wanted
the opportunity to get some answers from the other side and here was my chance.
I might not be in the best frame of mind, but a distraction seemed an excellent
idea at this moment.

     “Come in.” I waved my hand for him to enter.

     “Thank you.” He stepped inside and without me asking
took off his shoes. That was at least one point in his favor.

     He followed me in and took the chair after I resumed my
position on the couch. I didn’t bother to offer him a drink. I still wasn’t
sure what this visit was about. He’d had ample opportunity to see me before
when I lived with the Barber’s, but had never bothered.

     “So, why have you come, Cole?” I asked cautiously, bunching
a throw pillow in my lap. Nervousness was starting to set in seeing him sitting
across from me. It was too bizarre.

     He frowned. “It’s disconcerting hearing my name on your
lips when we don’t really know each other.”

     I wasn’t sure if that was a question or a rambling
thought. I quirked a brow at him informing him to move past it.

     He looked around. “Where are your sister and brother?”

     “They’re at church with a friend. As you can see I
wasn’t feeling well enough to go. You timed your visit perfectly because I’d
rather they not meet you until I find out what this is about.”

     He nodded. “I understand that.” His hand lifted to comb
through his hair, but then he rubbed at his head tousling it again. That
explained his ruffled appearance. It looked like he was as nervous as me.  

     “Cole, why are you here?” I asked again.

     “You know, I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

     That was a bit of a bombshell. “Why haven’t you ever
made an effort before?”

     His brows pinched together and his lips thinned. “My
mother. She didn’t take the news of father’s second family all that well.” I
gave him a look at that which had him looking shamefaced. “I’m sure you guys
didn’t either, but she was angry at both him and your mother…all of you. She
was certain that you must have known about her, about us?”

     There was a question there that he didn’t come right
out and ask. I couldn’t fault him for wondering. “We didn’t though. We were
just as surprised. I remember when my
mat’
found out, she was heartbroken…she
cried. I told the Barber’s this when they asked. Did they not report this back
to your mother?” There might have been a smidgen of derision in my tone.

     He sighed as if a great weight had been lifted from his
shoulders. “Yes, they did, but she didn’t believe it. I found it difficult to
believe that a woman would marry a man that was already married, but there have
been stranger things.”

     “Is that all you’ve wondered about?” I asked curiously.
“Because I have to admit, I have way more questions.”

     He smirked. “No, I have a multitude as well.” 

     “What made you decide to meet with me now?” I stared at
him inquisitively.

     “We all thought you went back to Russia when you moved out of our grandparent’s house. I thought I missed my chance. I would
have tried to meet you when you lived with them, but the likelihood of my
mother finding out was too high. I couldn’t chance it for her piece of mind.”

     “Your mother really dislikes us that much?” It was
sometimes inconceivable to me how people could blame the children for the
parent’s mistakes. Not that my mother had done anything wrong.

     He looked slightly uncomfortable. “I think she wanted
the entire thing put behind us. To pretend you didn’t exist. Whenever grandma
and grandpa came to visit she was always on edge thinking they would say
something about you, but they didn’t. They were just as closed mouth about you
as mother. The first couple of times I’d tried to get information from them but
they always redirected the conversation. For some reason they all thought we
shouldn’t know anything about each other. It never made sense to me but I
thought I would just buy my time. But then they said you were gone. That had
surprised the hell out of me. I’d heard that you’d come to America because you had no other relatives in Russia. Why did you move out? You were only eighteen,
and your brother and sister were still so young. I can’t believe grandma and
grandpa let you.”

     Knowing that he had been just as curious about us as I
had been about them lifted some kind of pressure off me. I wasn’t alone in my
interest. “The Barber’s never really wanted us there.” I informed him, and then
proceeded to explain our living arrangement with the Barber’s. I didn’t paint
them as bad people, because I didn’t think they were. I just told him the
facts.