Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey (45 page)

Obviously building character of total integrity and living the life of love and service that creates such unity isn't easy. It isn't quick fix.

But it's possible. It begins with the desire to center our lives on correct principles, to break out of the paradigms created by other centers and the comfort zones of unworthy habits.

Sometimes we make mistakes, we feel awkward. But if we start with the Daily Private Victory and work from the Inside-Out, the results will surely come. As we plant the seed and patiently weed and nourish it, we begin to feel the excitement of real growth and eventually taste the incomparably delicious fruits of a congruent, effective life.

Again, I quote Emerson: "That which we persist in doing becomes easier -- not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increased."

By centering our lives on correct principles and creating a balanced focus between doing and increasing our ability to do, we become empowered in the task of creating effective, useful, and peaceful lives...for ourselves, and for our posterity.

As I conclude this book, I would like to share my own personal conviction concerning what I believe to be the source of correct principles. I believe that correct principles are natural laws, and that God, the Creator and Father of us all, is the source of them, and also the source of our conscience. I believe that to the degree people live by this inspired conscience, they will grow to fulfill their natures; to the degree that they do not, they will not rise above the animal plane.

I believe that there are parts to human nature that cannot be reached by either legislation or education, but require the power of God to deal with. I believe that as human beings, we cannot perfect ourselves. To the degree to which we align ourselves with correct principles, divine endowments will be released within our nature in enabling us to fulfill the measure of our creation. In
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the words of Teilhard de Chardin, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

I personally struggle with much of what I have shared in this book. But the struggle is worthwhile and fulfilling. It gives meaning to my life and enables me to love, to serve, and to try again.

Again, T. S. Eliot expresses so beautifully my own personal discovery and conviction: "We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time."

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Appendix

Possible Perceptions Flowing out of Various Center

These are alternative ways you may tend to perceive other areas of your lif

* *

If your center is Spouse...

SPOUSE: The main source of need satisfaction.

FAMILY: Good in its place. Less important. A common project.

MONEY: Necessary to properly take care of spouse.

WORK: Necessary to earn money to care for spouse.

POSSESSIONS: Means to bless, impress, or manipulate.

* *

If your center is Family...

SPOUSE: Part of the family.

FAMILY: The highest priority.

MONEY: Family economic support.

WORK: A means to an end.

POSSESSIONS: Family comfort and opportunities.

* *

If your center is Money...

SPOUSE: Asset or liability in acquiring money.

FAMILY: Economic drain.

MONEY: Source of security and fulfillment.

WORK: Necessary to the acquisition of money.

POSSESSIONS: Evidence of economic success.

* *

If your center is Work...

SPOUSE: Help or hindrance in work.

FAMILY: Help or interruption to work. People to instruct in work ethic.

MONEY: Of secondary importance. Evidence of hard work.

WORK: Main source of fulfillment and satisfaction. Highest ethic.

POSSESSIONS: Tools to increase work effectiveness. Fruits, badge of work.

* *

If your center is Possessions...

SPOUSE: Main possession. Assistant in acquiring possessions.

FAMILY: Possession to use, exploit, dominate, smother, control. Showcase.

MONEY: Key to increasing possessions. Another possession to control.

WORK: Opportunity to possess status, authority, recognition.

POSSESSIONS: Status symbols.

* *

If your center is Pleasure...

SPOUSE: Companion in fun and pleasure or obstacle to it.

FAMILY: Vehicle or interference.

MONEY: Means to increase opportunities for pleasure.

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WORK: Means to an end. "Fun" work OK.

POSSESSIONS: Objects of fun. Means to more fun.

* *

If your center is A Friend or Friends...

SPOUSE: Possible friend or possible competitor. Social status symbol.

FAMILY: Friends or obstacle to developing friendships.

MONEY: Source of economic and social good.

WORK: Social opportunity.

POSSESSIONS: Means of buying friendship. Means of entertaining or providing social pleasure.

These are alternative ways you may tend you perceive other areas of your life

* *

If your center is Spouse...

PLEASURE: Mutual, unifying activity or unimportant.

FRIENDS: Spouse is best or only friend. Only friends are "our" friends.

ENEMIES: Spouse is my defender, or common enemy provides source of marriage definition.

CHURCH: Activity to enjoy together. Subordinate to relationship.

SELF: Self-worth is spouse based. Highly vulnerable to spouse attitudes and behaviors.

PRINCIPLES: ideas which create and maintain relationship with spouse.

* *

If your center is Family...

PLEASURE: Family activities or relatively unimportant.

FRIENDS: Friends of the family, or competition. Threat to strong family life.

ENEMIES: Defined by family. Source of family strength and unity. Possible threat to family strength.

CHURCH: Source of help.

SELF: Vital part of but subordinate to family. Subordinate to family.

PRINCIPLES: Rules which keep family unified and strong.

* *

If your center is Money...

PLEASURE: Economic drain or evidence of economic stress.

FRIENDS: Chosen because of economic status or influence.

ENEMIES: Economic competitors. Threat to economic security.

CHURCH: Tax write-off. Hand in your pocket.

SELF: Self-worth is determined by net worth.

PRINCIPLES: Ways that work in making and managing money.

* *

If your center is Work...

PLEASURE: Waste of time. Interferes with work.

FRIENDS: Developed from work setting or shared interest. Basically unnecessary.

ENEMIES: Obstacles to work productivity.

CHURCH: Important to corporate image. Imposition on your time. Opportunity to network in profession.

SELF: Defined by job role.

PRINCIPLES: Ideas that make you successful in your work. Need to adapt to work conditions.

* *

If your center is Possessions...

PLEASURE: Buying, shopping, joining clubs.

FRIENDS: Personal objects. Usable.

ENEMIES: Takers, thieves. Others with more possessions or recognition.

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CHURCH: "My" church, a status symbol. Source of unfair criticism or good things in life.

SELF: Defined by the things I own. Defined by social status, recognition.

PRINCIPLES: concepts which enable you to acquire and enhance possessions.

* *

If your center is Pleasure...

PLEASURE: Supreme end in life.

FRIENDS: Companions in fun.

ENEMIES: Take life too seriously. Guilt trippers, destroyers.

CHURCH: Inconvenient, obstacle to recreation. Guilt trip.

SELF: Instrument for pleasure.

PRINCIPLES: Natural drives and instincts which need to be satisfied.

* *

If your center is Friends...

PLEASURE: Enjoyed always with friends. Primarily social events.

FRIENDS: Critical to personal happiness. Belonging, acceptance, popularily is crucial.

ENEMIES: Outside the social circle. Common enemies provide unity or definition for friendship.

CHURCH: Place for social gathering.

SELF: Socially defined. Afraid of embarrassment or rejection.

PRINCIPLES: Basic laws which enable you to get along with others.

* *

This is the way you may tend to perceive other areas of your life.

* *

If your center is Enemies...

FRIEND OR PLEASURE: Rest and relaxation time before the next battle.

ENEMY OR FRIENDS: Emotional supporters and sympathizers. Possibly defined by common enemy.

ENEMIES: Objects of hate. Source of personal problems. Stimuli to self-protection and self-justification.

CHURCH: Source of self-justification.

SELF: Victimized. Immobilized by enemy.

PRINCIPLES: Justification for labeling enemies. Source of your enemy's wrongness.

* *

If your center is Church...

FRIEND OR PLEASURE: "Innocent" pleasures as an opportunity to gather with other church members. Others as sinful or time wasters, to be self-righteously denied.

ENEMY OR FRIENDS: Other members of the church.

ENEMIES: Nonbelievers; those who disagree with church teachings or whose lives are in blatant opposition to them.

CHURCH: Highest priority. Source of guidance.

SELF: Self-worth is determined by activity in the church, contributions to the church, or performance of deeds that reflect the church ethic.

PRINCIPLES: Doctrines taught by the church. Subordinate to the church.

* *

If your center is Self...

FRIEND OR PLEASURE: Deserved sensate satisfactions. "My rights." "My needs.

ENEMY OR FRIENDS: Supporter, provider for "me".

ENEMIES: Source of self-definition, self-justification.

CHURCH: Vehicle to serve self-interests.

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SELF: Better, smarter, more right. Justified in focusing all resources on personal gratification.

PRINCIPLES: Source of justification. Those ideas that serve my best interests; can be adapted to need.

* *

If your center is Principles...

FRIEND OR PLEASURE: Joy that comes from almost any activity in a focused life. True re-creation as an important part of a balanced integrated life-style.

ENEMY OR FRIENDS: Companions in interdependent living. Confidants -- those to share with, serve, and support.

ENEMIES: No real perceived "enemies"; just people with different paradigms and agendas to be understood and cared about.

CHURCH: Vehicle for true principles. Opportunity for service and contribution.

SELF: One unique, talented, creative individual in the midst of many unique, talented, creative individuals who, working independently and interdependently, can accomplish great things.

PRINCIPLES: Immutable natural laws which cannot be violated with impunity. When honored, preserve integrity and thus lead to true growth and happiness.

A Quadrant II Day at the Office

The following exercise and analysis is designed to help you see the impact of a Quadrant II paradigm in a business setting on a very practical level.

Suppose that you are the director of marketing for a major pharmaceutical firm. You are about to begin an average day at the office, and as you look over the items to attend to that day, you estimate the amount of time each one will take.

Your unprioritized list includes the following:

1. You'd like to have lunch with the general manager (1-1 1/2 hours).

2. You were instructed the day before to prepare your media budget for the following year (2 or 3

days).

3. Your "IN" basket is overflowing into your "OUT" basket (1-1 1/2 hours).

4. You need to talk to the sales manager about last month's sales; his office is down the hall (4

hours).

5. You have several items of correspondence that your secretary says are urgent (1 hour).

6. You'd like to catch up on the medical journals piled upon your desk (1/2 hour).

7. You need to prepare a presentation for a sales meeting slated for next month (2 hours).

8. There's a rumor that the last batch of product X didn't pass quality control.

9. Someone from the FDA wants you to return his call about product X (1/2 hour).

10. There is a meeting at 2 P.M. for the executive board, but you don't know what it is about (1

hour).

Take a few minutes now and use what you have learned from Habits 1, 2, and 3 that might help you to effectively schedule your day.

By asking you to plan only one day, I have automatically eliminated the wider context of the week so fundamental to fourth generation time management. But you will be able to see the power of Quadrant II, principle-centered paradigm even in the context of one nine-hour period of time It is fairly obvious that most of the items on the list are Quadrant I activities. With the exception of item number six -- catching up on medical journals -- everything else is seemingly both important and
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urgent.