Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey (51 page)

Dr. Gabor Maté said that today's rehab
treatment is ineffective, because it sees the addiction as the
problem. But addiction is not the problem. It's the addict's failed
attempt to solve a problem.

I really don't like hanging out with
American guys. I hate all that "bros before hoes" bullshit. I hate
the way most of them talk about females, as if women are the
opposite team in the battle of the sexes. I was raised to look at a
girl as my partner, not my enemy. I was taught to respect girls,
not use them and abuse them. I hate when some dumb brute goes on
and on about chasing tail, or brags about getting into some girl's
pants like he's expecting a trophy for it. I hate when guys holler
at girls in the streets. It's so disrespectful. Maybe I'm
old-fashioned. Or maybe I'm just the only guy with some class in a
hundred mile radius. Just kidding.

Anyway, I liked hanging out with George,
because he was different from most other American guys. I didn't
have to put on some stupid macho act. I could be myself around him,
and admit when I was hurt about something Veronica did, without him
calling me a fag for having feelings.

He understood my pain, because he had been
through some pretty traumatic stuff himself. He used to be an
insurance adjuster, but when his father passed away, he was so
grief-stricken, he ended up losing his job. And when he lost his
job, his wife left him. It was the perfect storm of emotional
turmoil. It's a miracle he didn't kill himself. He just got drunk
to get through the pain. He liked to joke that he's not an
alcoholic, but a drunk: "Alcoholics go to meetings, drunks go to
parties."

But now he hadn't touched alcohol in a long
time, and he was completely sober ever since I had known him.

George knew I was counting down the days
until Veronica came home. He kept telling me to brace myself for
the worst, considering what had happened last time, when she ran
away from the Salvation Army and then posted an ad on Backpage,
cheating on me with God only knows how many people.

I told him that I was hoping for the best,
but expecting the worst. I knew there was a good chance Veronica
would do the same thing to me again this time around, even though
she kept telling me over and over that she loved me, and how sorry
she was about what she had done to me in the past, and that this
time would be completely different. This time she would really come
home to me and we'd live happily ever after.

But she didn't.

"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and
expecting the other person to die."

Gautama Buddha

During our last conversation, a few hours
before her release at 4 am, Veronica had promised to call me from
her dad's phone as soon as she got out of jail. But she didn't.
Somehow I had known that she wouldn't. I didn't even wait up. I
just went to sleep around midnight.

When I woke up the next morning around 9 am,
I checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls. Nope. I spent
the whole day waiting to hear from her, even though deep down I
knew I wouldn't. My instincts told me I would never hear from her
again after she gets out of jail, and I was right.

She had told me her dad would only be in
town for 2 days, and he would drop her off at my condo on the
evening of the second day. As part of her probation, Veronica had a
10 pm curfew. If she wasn't home by 10 pm, she could go back to
jail.

So I waited until 10 pm on the second day.
But I didn't hear a peep from her, and her dad didn't bring her to
my place. She had done it to me again. Once again she had left me
hanging and chose someone else over me, after I had waited for her
for months. I had been faithful to her, had deleted every other
girl from my Facebook page and from my phone. I had even changed my
number, because she didn't want other girls to call me anymore.
Meanwhile all she did was cheat on me, and now she just left me
hanging like this. I was heartbroken. I couldn't believe anyone
could be this low, this cruel, this selfish.

George had called me to find out whether
Veronica came home or not. He knew all along that she wouldn't. He
came over, because he didn't want me to be alone. He knew how upset
I was. We waited for 10 pm together and watched some movies, even
though I really couldn't concentrate. I was just counting the
seconds until 10 pm, checking the time on my cell phone every few
minutes.

At 10:01 pm, George stopped the movie, and
said: "Well, that's it. I hope you're really done with Veronica
now. She's no good for you. All she has ever done is make you
miserable. She's toxic."

Then he grabbed the keyboard, went to
Match.com and started creating an online dating profile for me. "I
want you to meet a decent girl," he said. "Stop wasting your time
with trash like Veronica."

I really was not in the mood to fill out an
online dating profile right now. All I wanted to do was curl up in
the fetal position, hide from the world and die. I was so fucking
miserable. I just couldn't believe she would do this to me. Again.
I just couldn't believe anyone could do that to anyone. What kind
of a person lies to someone for months, tells them she wants to get
married and have a baby, strings them along for months, gets their
hopes up and then just abandons them like it's nothing? I hated her
for doing this to me. I HATED her so fucking MUCH right now.

I wanted revenge! I wanted to hurt her back,
as badly as possible, any way I could. I had deleted her mother's
phone number, along with every other girl's number. Otherwise I
would have called Rachel right now and asked her to come over and
suck my cock. Haley was in jail, but even if she was out, neither
she nor Erin or Crystal would do the trick this time. I wanted to
fuck the shit out of Veronica's mother. I knew that would get under
her skin. I wanted to ram my big fat cock in Rachel's mouth and
make her swallow my load. I wanted to fuck her in the ass. I knew
Rachel hated it when Veronica's stepdad did that to her. I wanted
to cum in Rachel's pussy and then brag about it, rub it in
Veronica's face, and humiliate her. If that wasn't gonna hurt her,
nothing would.

Obviously I wasn't thinking very clearly at
that moment. While all these crazy revenge fantasies were going
through my mind, I remembered my last viso with Veronica before she
got out of jail. She had mentioned that she used to date Lucy, and
that she thought Lucy was hot. For some reason, I figured it would
really get under Veronica's skin if I fucked the shit out of
Lucy.

And Lola, Veronica's ex-girlfriend who had
sent me dozens of letters from prison, was released recently, and
she was now back in Fort Myers. I had ignored her when she tried to
contact me on Facebook, but now I decided to call her, and fuck the
shit out of her, too.

Lola was staying at the Gulfview Motel on
41. She shared a room with her mother, who was also a drug addict.
In her letters, Lola had written over and over how miserable the
drug lifestyle had made her, and that she was never gonna go back
to that. Prison had given her time to think about her life, and she
wanted to make a change. She wanted to live sober, and since I was
the only sober person she knew, she fantasized about a future with
me. That's why she started writing me those explicit sex letters
and love poems.

I know she really meant it at the time, when
she wrote me those letters from prison, and told me that she would
never ever touch drugs again. But everything changes when you get
out of prison, and you are faced with all that confusing freedom.
You don't know what to do first. There are endless possibilities.
Now you can do all the things you dreamed about doing, while you
were in jail. You want to make the most of all that newfound
freedom. And what was your favorite thing you used to do before you
went to prison? Drugs. Despite all their best intentions, many, if
not most, drug addicts relapse as soon as they get out of jail or
prison. Many of them tell themselves that drinking is not the same
as shooting heroin or smoking crack. But substance abuse is a
slippery slope. Soon getting drunk just doesn't cut it anymore.

Veronica often joked that Lee County Jail
had revolving doors. Most of the drug addicted girls were in and
out of jail all the time. Girls like Snickers and Coconut were only
half-kidding when they called LCJ their second home. Actually many
of them were homeless on the outside, so they didn't even really
have a first home. LCJ was it.

When I met Lola at the Gulfview Motel, her
mother Betsy was there, too. Betsy looked like she had seen better
days. She probably used to be a pretty girl at one time, but the
years of drug use had not been kind to her. Her dark, leathery skin
and toothless smile was undeniably the face of an old crackwhore,
who had spent a lot of time walking the streets. But she was
well-mannered and polite. She welcomed me and said: "You're right
Lola, he is handsome."

Lola had told her mother about all the
letters she had written me from prison, and her hopes to stay sober
and live with me. Betsy was trying to be supportive, and to help
her daughter have a better life than she did. That's why she was
flattering me as soon as I walked into their run-down motel
room.

There were two queen-size beds right next to
each other. Lola and I sat on one of them, while Betsy sat on the
other bed. We all chitchatted for a while. Girls usually gain a lot
of weight while they are locked up, and Lola was no different. I
had seen older pictures of her on her Facebook page. She used to be
skinny and beautiful. Now she was chubby and had a big gut that
hung over her tight jeans. Her face was still pretty though. She
was 25, had beautiful eyes and long brown hair. But she never
smiled, because she was ashamed of her crooked teeth.

She was nothing like I had pictured her from
her letters. She had a harsh, masculine voice. To say that she was
a bit rough around the edges would be an understatement. She
couldn't hide the fact that she had grown up on the streets and
never learned how to be a lady.

I wasn't attracted to her at all. But I
still wanted to go through with my plan to have revenge sex with
her, to get under Veronica's skin. Since we all knew why I was
here, I figured Betsy would excuse herself after a few minutes, and
give Lola and me some privacy. But she didn't. She sat right there
on the bed across from us, chatting with me.

Lola was getting impatient. I guess I was
supposed to make the first move, but I was too shy to bring up sex
in front of her mother. So Lola decided to take matters into her
own hands. Literally. She started playing with her shirt and
adjusting her bra. I could see way too much of her beautiful
breasts. They were covered in golden body glitter. It was
impossible for me to ignore what she was doing. I told her that the
way she kept playing with her breasts was really distracting.
Obviously that was the whole point. She laughed and started
massaging her breasts. Then she pulled her shirt and bra down, so
that I could see her nipples. Her mother was sitting right there,
laughing.

"You like my tits?" Lola asked. "They got
big in prison. I'm still not used to how huge they are now. Wanna
massage them? I bet you'd like it if I massaged your cock with my
tits. Wanna titfuck me?"

I couldn't believe she was saying this
stuff, while Betsy was sitting less than 4 feet away.

"You want me to fuck you with your mother
sitting right here?" I asked in disbelief.

Betsy laughed and quickly interjected:
"She's 25. She's a grown woman. I can't tell her what to do
anymore. She can have sex with whoever she wants. So don't mind me.
I won't bother you guys."

Lola could tell I was really uncomfortable
with the idea of having sex with her, while her mother was lounging
around on the bed next to us, watching TV. She said: "My mom can
wait in the bathroom while we fuck."

This situation was so bizarre, it didn't
even feel like the plot of a bad porno anymore. I felt like I was
in the Twilight Zone.

"Nah, I can't have sex with you while your
mother is right here in the room with us, even if she's in the
bathroom. She's still right here. That's way too distracting."

"I can wait in the car outside, until you
guys are done fucking," Betsy offered.

"Perfect," Lola agreed.

"Ugh, I guess," I replied. This was insane.
But I had come all this way to have revenge sex with her, and I was
only a few inches away from my goal. No point turning back now.

While Betsy walked out, she winked at me and
said: "Don't take too long. It's hot out there and my friend
doesn't have enough gas to keep the AC running in the car."

Lola took her clothes off and spread her
legs, while massaging her breasts. I told her I needed her to suck
my dick for a while first, because I wasn't hard.

"I hate sucking cock," she replied. Then she
sat down between my legs and did it anyway. I was sooo not in the
mood. This was just crazy. She kept complaining that her jaw hurt,
and that she wanted me to fuck her instead. The more she
complained, the longer it took. Finally she got me hard, and I got
on top of her. After I came, I just wanted to get out of there. She
asked me if I wanted to spend the day with her tomorrow. I said
sure, and left.