Sex in the Sanctuary (8 page)

Only a married woman who’d walked in the shoes that Tai now wore would understand how she could feel so alone in a crowded, noisy room. Timothy and Tabitha were both talking a mile a minute about a science fair project their class was building. Princess was busy making sure the twins understood how unimportant their project was compared to her need for a new outfit for the upcoming Spring Fling Day that her class was spending at the local amusement park.
There must be some boy she’s trying to impress,
Tai thought, almost amused that Princess could not fathom the notion that Tai had herself been fifteen once upon a time. Not so long ago that she’d forgotten what that age felt like.

“So what’s his name?” she asked casually while scooping out a small helping of lasagna. Tai was determined not to regain the ten pounds she’d lost since she and Mama Max began exercising two months ago.

“Mom! Why do you always think boys are involved when I ask you for stuff?”

“Because you’re fifteen. Boys are always involved when you’re fifteen.”

“I don’t got time for none of these boys around here. They’re stupid.”

“
Have
time, not got time. How did you get a ‘B’ in English with that grammar?”

“Mom! We were right in the middle of telling you about our project,” Tabitha whined with the practiced skill of the most seasoned actress.

“Yeah,” Timothy piped in. “And that’s way more important than Princess’s boyfriends!”

The beginnings of World War III began to rumble at this last comment, and Tai was in the process of calming the soldiers on both sides when King walked in.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on here?”

Immediately everything was quiet and in order, something that happened frequently when King entered a room.

“Hey, Daddy!” Princess sang, jumping up from her chair and hugging him tightly. No matter who may come afterward, King Wesley Brook was definitely her first love.

“Hey! How’s my Princess?” No doubt, the love was mutual.

“You’re home early,” Tai stated, rising automatically to put another place setting at the table. She went into the kitchen, grabbed a glass from the cabinet, opened the refrigerator and poured a tall glass of tea, setting it down beside his plate. She also grabbed the ranch dressing, his favorite, and placed it on the table beside the low-cal Italian, not her favorite but her fate, and Russian, the children’s choice.

“Yeah, we finished up early, so thankfully I am getting to spend the evening with some of my favorite people.”

Princess sat back down at the table. King leaned down to rub and kiss the top of Timothy and Tabitha’s heads respectively before he took his place at the head of the table. He didn’t hug, kiss or rub Tai’s head.

“So how’s everything for the conference coming?” Tai asked, taking a small bite of lasagna.

“So smooth it’s almost scary,” King replied, heaping a huge helping of his favorite Italian cuisine onto his plate. “Especially Youth Night, it’s gonna be awesome.”

Tai’s fork stopped midair. Suddenly the lasagna noodles became thick in her mouth, and the cheese seemed to lodge itself in her throat. She took a huge gulp of tea and swallowed quickly and then a couple more sips before putting her glass down.

King noticed Tai’s reaction and mentally kicked himself. How could he have slipped like that and brought up anything to do with Hope? Too late, though, the kids took the topic and ran with it.

“Ooh, Daddy, is Righteous Rebel gonna do the concert?” the twins implored.

“Is he going to sing ‘Holy Ghost High’ or ‘Number One Lover’?” Princess turned to her mother, thinking of her own performance. “Mom, you’re going to love the Heaven’s Hip-hoppers. Our steps are tight!” Tai just smiled.

King smiled, too, proud of the way his children embraced God and how enthusiastic they were in their service to Him. He glanced at Tai before answering their question.

“Well, don’t tell anybody,” he started conspiratorially, buttering his third piece of Italian bread. “But…yes! Righteous Rebel is going to do the concert!”

The twins high-fived each other, and Princess grabbed her father’s hand. “Oh, Daddy, I’m so excited, that’s gonna be great!”

“I’m gonna be front row, center,” Timothy proclaimed, as if there were any doubt as to where he as a child of the church’s first family would sit on such a night.

“And that’s not all,” King continued as he stabbed a large chunk of lettuce, then a tomato and finally a piece of broc
coli onto his fork and stuffed it in his mouth. “You guys remember that CD I brought home last week, the group that sounds a lot like Destiny’s Child called Yadah?” And then to Tai, “This is good, baby.”

“Don’t tell me they’re gonna be there,” Princess moaned, all too aware of the female competition, even though those girls were almost out of high school and one was in her freshman year of college. “Mom, now I need to get two new outfits! Mom! Are you listening to me?”

Tai nodded in the affirmative, but in fact, she hadn’t been listening. She’d been trying to reconcile her feelings of anger with the ones of happiness that were swirling around the table. Was she really just being paranoid and horribly unfair to this Hope girl? Her children obviously adored Hope, as did those in the youth and young adult groups she directed. Sistah Stokes had voiced some concerns when Hope first came to the church, but that may have been in part because Sistah Stokes remembered King’s old flame Tootie and her cat suits. And how could King just sit there and go on and on about his love interest, or should she say lust interest, right in front of her and the children like that? Was she being paranoid? And if so, why couldn’t she shake this feeling of doom that rested in the pit of her stomach, low and heavy like tonight’s lasagna?

Tai continued to ruminate on these thoughts as she prepared for bed that evening. King had already showered and was in his office downstairs. Princess had cleaned the kitchen and was talking on the phone, her favorite pastime, and the twins were playing a video game. She sprayed on a generous amount of jasmine-scented body mist and sat on the commode seat, rubbing baby oil on her heels and toes. She tried to remember exactly when this feeling of imminent doom came to pay her a visit, like an unwelcome distant cousin, and refused to leave. She reached for her cotton nightgown hang
ing on the bathroom door, then opted for her black, floor-length negligee instead. What was she doing? Was she actually going to try and seduce her husband, a man she felt sure was cheating on her? And maybe with the youth’s assistant director no less?

Tai carried the bottle of jasmine water from the bathroom to the bed and, pulling back the sheets, sprayed a liberal amount on them, including the pillows. She hit the nozzle a few more times as she turned the bottle once more on herself, one on both temple points, between the breasts and a quick hit between the legs before recapping the bottle and setting it on the table beside her. She reached behind her to the bed’s headboard, turned on the radio and her favorite station, Oldies 91.5. Barry White’s voice reached out seductively and promised Tai he couldn’t get enough of her love.
From your lips to King’s ears,
Tai longingly thought.

Tai lay down on crisp, scented sheets as the cool May breeze blew through barely opened balcony doors. She reached over and stroked King’s side of the bed. She still loved him, even after all she’d been through with him, unconditionally, like Christ. No wonder the cross was the symbol of ultimate sacrifice. Because to survive a marriage, one had better be willing to get crucified.

King sat silently reading the newspaper in his study. He’d come here as a means of escape; it was an unwritten rule that he not be bothered when he was in his office. Being around Tai and the kids was becoming more and more uncomfortable. He felt as guilty as he did out of control. The phone rang. It was Derrick.

“Hey, man,” King answered cheerfully, thankful to be distracted from his thoughts. “What’s up?”

“I was calling to ask you the same question,” Derrick said meaningfully.

Dang,
King thought with a frown. He wasn’t going to get away from his thoughts after all. He tried to sound nonchalant. “Same ole, same ole. Everything’s cool.”

“Is it?”

“Look, man,” King said, his body tensing. “If you called to make a point, get to it.”

Derrick heard the tension in King’s voice and knew things were definitely not cool. He could tell King didn’t want to talk, had tried to throw up a wall of attitude. But he wasn’t backing down. This was what friends did, looked out for each other—especially when one saw the other heading for a cliff, blindfolded. King was letting pussy blind him. Derrick wasn’t going to let him go out like that.

“Look, dog,” he said in a tone of camaraderie. “I’m on your side. And my point’s been made. Me and Viv want it to be you and Tai; that position is not going to change. But I didn’t call to lecture. I called because I care about you, man, you and your family. You know that.”

King closed his eyes, relaxed. “I know, man, I appreciate it. It’s crazy right now. I know I’ve got to handle this, eventually.”

“You and Tai talk more about it?”

“We talk around it. She thinks it’s this girl at church. I told her no.”

“But she knows it’s somebody.”

“I haven’t lied to her. She asked me if I was seeing the woman, sleeping with her. I told her I wasn’t.”

“Isn’t that lying by omission?”

“Look, man, don’t get technical. She asked a question, I answered it.”

“What if she asks you point-blank if you’re seeing somebody?”

“I’ll tell her yeah. I’ve got eyes, I see everybody.”

Derrick laughed. “She will not be amused.”

King grinned, appreciating the levity. “You’re probably right.”

“You know I’m right. She’s probably ready to kick serious butt as it is.”

King’s grin faded. “I deserve it.”

They talked a bit further. King agreed to keep him posted on what was happening and thanked him for the call. He hung up the phone, stood and began slowly pacing the floor in his office, carelessly arranging and then rearranging the stacks of work on his desk. What was he going to do? How did he get into this situation in the first place?

He remembered the first time he saw his other woman, all cute and bubbly, full of energy and life. Their conversation had been innocent enough: How are you? Fine, and you? But the message in their eyes was unmistakable. She’d given him her number. He’d given her a business card. They’d talked on the phone a few times. Again, just general, getting-to-know-you stuff. She wanted to know all about him. Where are you from? Kansas, born and raised. How old are you? Forty-four. What type of music do you like? Gospel, jazz, ’60s and ’70s R&B. And then more talks on the phone. More questions, more shared information. What are your goals? To build a Kingdom enterprise. Where do you see yourself in five years? At the head of a ministerial campus, complete with schools, day care centers, business offices, restaurants. Has anybody ever told you how incredibly intelligent you are? Tai had but King didn’t remember it, or if he did, he chose not to share the information. Then he’d asked her out to lunch. Hey, it was the middle of the day so how bad could it be? Pretty bad. They’d met at the Crown Center Shopping Complex. The one anchored by the Crown Center Hotel. Real bad, sinful even. She’d suggested they take a stroll
after eating, to walk off their lunch. He was the one who noticed the suggestive teddies in the boutique window. She was the one who suggested that he buy her one and let her try it on in one of the rooms next door. He was the one who could have said no. She was the one who hoped he wouldn’t. They made it to the room. He never saw her in the teddy.

They’d gotten together almost every week from that point on, and she’d even traveled with him on occasion, always discreetly of course.
It’s harmless,
he thought at first, but he knew better seconds after that first thought.
As long as nobody knows
, he reasoned.
God knows,
he countered himself.
She makes me feel good
, he acknowledged.

She’s not your wife
, God said. And in the gloom of his darkened study, King knew God was right. This woman wasn’t his wife, and the one who was didn’t deserve his infidelities.

Tai closed the
Essence
magazine she’d been reading and looked at the clock. It was twelve-thirty and King was still in the study. “Thought the conference was so smooth it was scary,” she said aloud, remembering King’s words at dinner. Then why was he still in the study at midnight? She was tempted to tiptoe downstairs, open the study door and lean provocatively against the doorway. Maybe take one leg and hoist it up against the doorjamb, giving King a glimpse of her not so hidden treasures. Maybe grab a tub of whipped cream before opening the door. They’d had strawberry short-cake for dessert, so she knew there was whipped cream in the refrigerator. But she didn’t do any of those things. Instead she looked over at the empty space beside her, rose, fluffed up the pillow behind her head and grabbed another one for her stomach, turned out the lights, closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

King glanced at the clock. It was late, and tomorrow was another busy day. He left his office and walked quietly through their sprawling, ranch-styled house, taking great pains not to awaken Tai as he opened the door. He crossed over to the bathroom, closed the door and prepared for bed. He undressed in the bathroom, taking off his clothes and placing them on top of the hamper before turning out the light. He walked over to the headboard on Tai’s side where he turned off the O’Jays right in between “stairway to Heaven” and “step by step.” He walked over to his side of the bed and slid in, naked as always, between the sheets. The scent of jasmine greeted him warmly and caused him to look over at Tai’s side of the bed. She was lying on her side, away from him. A stab of guilt hit him unexpectedly, and he reached out his hand, only to take it back before touching her arm. He sank down on his back, eyes wide and staring. Tai moaned softly, then turned over and threw a leg over his. She placed a tentative hand on his hair-lined chest and scooted closer.