Sex Practice (27 page)

"Oh, so this
is what you get up to when my back's turned, is it?" he asked,
focussing on Lily's pink tongue sweeping up Mary's yawning pussy
fissure.

"You left the
poor girl crying out for an orgasm," Brigit, replied, running her
wet tongue round Mary's succulent erect nipples. "We had to help
her."

"Yes, so I
see," he laughed, eyeing Brigit's hairless pussy lips bulging
between her shapely thighs as she bent over further and sucked
Mary's nipple into her hungry mouth. "Mother Barren-Womb has just
left, she..."

"Mother
Barren-Womb?" Mary gasped, her eyes wide with shock and fear.

"Yes, she
wants to know where you are."

"Oh, no! What
did you tell her?" the girl asked, her clitoris stiffening beneath
Lily's caressing tongue.

"I said that
you'd left here a long time ago. I think you'd better get back to
the convent as quickly as possible."

"Oh, Larry,
don't spoil our fun!" Brigit complained. "Mary was hoping that
you'd fuck her."

"There's
nothing I'd like more but we don't want the Reverend Mother causing
problems. Mary's already in trouble so..."

"Yes, you're
right," Mary sighed as the girls lazily moved their naked bodies
into upright positions, gazing longingly at Mary's gentle curves,
her rubicund vaginal valley. "As much as I'd like to stay... I'll
come back as soon as I can and you can teach me more about
sex."

"My problem
with breasts is a little better," Lily announced as the nun slipped
off the couch and dressed. "But I'm still not too happy about
penises."

"You're
getting there," Larry smiled. "It'll take time, but you're getting
there. Shit, there's the phone!" he cursed, dashing out of the
room.

Flopping into
his swivel chair, Larry picked up the receiver, wondering what on
earth would go wrong next. "Hallo, Doctor Lickman speaking."

"Doctor
Lickman, this is Monica."

"Monica, how
wonderful to hear from you, and so soon after our meeting with DI
Clarke!"

"Gina and I
are going to put an end to you!" she bellowed. "You have the
photographs back, but there are copies. I have enough evidence
to..."

"Oh, Monica! I
thought I'd heard the last of this nonsense. Listen, why don't you
come back to work and..."

"Come back to
work? After the things you've put me through, I'd never come
back!"

"Oh, by the
way, your husband came to see me."

"My... what
did he want?"

"DI Clarke is
a very wise man, he suggested that I certify you insane. The
psychiatrist has just left after a meeting with your husband and
me."

"You're the
one who should be certified!"

"Well, the
ball's rolling - pardon the expression! You'll be picked up and
taken to Loony Lane Mansion."

"Don't be
ridiculous! You can't have someone certified without..."

"I have had
someone certified - and that someone is you! There's nothing you
can do about it, Monica. Whatever you say now will be taken as the
ranting and raving of a complete nutter. And if you start going on
about sex rooms, whipping and bondage, they'll lock you up and
throw the key away!" His comments meeting with silence, Larry
frowned. "Monica? Monica, are you still there? Stupid bitch!"

Banging the
phone down, Larry laughed. "Actually, it's a pretty good idea!"

"What is?"
Brigit asked as she breezed into the room.

"Having Monica
certified insane."

"Could you do
that?"

"No, I suppose
not. Well, if I were to have a psychiatrist and a GP... no, the
idea's ludicrous. So, has Sister Mary gone?"

"Yes, and you
have a client waiting in reception."

"Oh, shit! Who
is it?"

"Miss Slit,
she's a new client."

"Oh, God! OK,
send her in."

Wondering
whether the woman was a spy sent my Monica or Gina, Larry opened
the desk drawer and took a swig from the whisky bottle. There was
no telling who the clients were, or who had sent them, he mused,
placing the bottle in the draw as Brigit showed the client into the
room. This one could very easily be a spy!

"Ah, Miss
Slit!" Larry greeted the leggy blonde. "I'm Doctor Lickman, I'm
pleased to meet you."

"Hallo,
Doctor," the woman replied, her full red lips smiling, her blouse
billowing, straining to contain her ample breasts.

"Please, sit
down," Larry invited her, moving behind the desk and reclining in
his swivel chair. "So, what's the problem?" he asked as Brigit left
the room and closed the door.

"My problem is
rather unusual," the attractive young woman said softly. "I... I
don't really know where to begin. It's all rather embarrassing, you
see."

"Believe me,
Miss Slit, I've come across hundreds of unusual problems! Try not
to allow your embarrassment to prohibit you. Relax and begin at the
beginning. I've discovered over the years that it's usually the
best place to start."

"Well, I... I
have a fetish about ladies' toilets. I can't keep away from
them."

"I see. When
did you first become aware of this fixation for toilets?"

"When I was in
my teens. I had a burning desire to hang around in women's public
toilets. It's been going on for five years now, and it's getting
worse."

"How do you
mean?"

"I spend most
of my time in toilets, spying under cubical doors trying to see the
stains in girls' knickers, trying to look at their pussies."

"You admire
the female form, then? You have a fixation for female
genitals?"

"Yes, I just
love girls' pussies!"

"Well, if you
enjoy your fetish, then I wouldn't look upon it as problematic.
Look upon it as a hobby and carry on as you are, enjoying what I'd
call a healthy pursuit."

"Yes, that's
what I was doing until... the thing is, I've been arrested twice,
once for gross indecency and once for lewd behaviour in a public
place."

"Oh, that does
rather change things, Miss Slit. Er... before we continue with our
fascinating discussion, have you heard of Gina Cology?"

"No, I
haven't."

"Monica Moodie
or Christine Cology, do you know of them?"

"No, should
I?"

"No, no. It's
just that there are people out there trying to get me. They're
planning my downfall because they're jealous of my highly
successful and lucrative business."

"How awful!
Can't you go to the police?"

"They've
already been involved, but the threats are continuing. Anyway,
you're here to talk about your problems, not listen to mine. These
arrests, were you taken to court?"

"Yes, but I
escaped police custody."

"How
innovative! I admire that in a woman."

"The irony of
it was that I was in court, and I escaped through the window of the
ladies' toilets."

"Amazing! OK,
so let's get back to your problem. The first time you entered a
ladies' toilet, what was your reaction, how did it affect you?"

"It was
exhilarating! I was about sixteen at the time. I'd plucked up the
courage to go into the toilets on the railway station. I stood
there in awe of the cubicles, the washbasins, the tiled walls, the
women as they came and went."

"Were you
sexually aroused?"

"Yes, very!
Ladies' toilets have an aroma all of their own, an air of female
sexuality. The sound of knickers being pulled down emanating from
the cubicles is highly arousing. The flushing of chains, the
movement of silk panties against inner thighs, the ruffling of
women's clothing... oh, how I just love public toilets! They're
fascinating places!"

"Do you have
an overwhelming urge to masturbate in the toilets?"

"Yes, yes I
do. I wait until it's quiet, and then I pull my knickers down and
masturbate vigorously."

"Have you ever
been caught masturbating?"

"Yes, a young
woman came in and... the whole thing was so exciting! I suggested
that she masturbate me, but she declined. I offered to bring her
off, but she ran away, screaming."

"I see. How
did you feel when she ran off screaming?"

"I had a
massive orgasm! God, did I come!"

"How did you
feel afterwards? What were your thoughts, your emotions when you
left the toilets?"

"I felt
elated! My whole body was quivering, glowing, vibrant!"

"What would
your response be if you were to discover a woman masturbating in
the toilets?"

"I'd probably
come in my knickers!"

"I must ask
you this, Miss Slit - do you want to be free of this fetish, or
would you be happy to continue if you knew that you were perfectly
safe from prosecution?"

"I... I'd like
to carry on. I've come to see you because I need reassurance, I
suppose. I need a kind word, encouragement and..."

"There's
nothing illegal about a woman entering public toilets. The trouble
begins when you spy under the doors and masturbate in full view of
the toiletees. I suggest that you speak with Lily, my trainee sex
therapist. She has some unusual problems of her own concerning
toilets, I'm sure a chat with her will help you no end."

"Oh, yes, I'd
like that very much!"

"I'll show you
to the examination room and I'll send her along to see you."

Showing the
busty blonde to the examination room, Larry walked down the hall to
reception. "Ah, Lily," he said. "Would you go and talk to Miss
Slit, please? She has a rather unusual problem that I think you
might be able to help her with. It will also be good training for
you. Should you need any help, I'll be in my consulting room."

"Where is
she?" the girl asked.

"In the
examination room. She's... she's a lesbian, from what I can
gather."

"Oh, good!"
the girl beamed, skipping down the hall.

"Everything
OK?" he asked Brigit.

"Yes, but I'm
fed up with reception. When Monica was here, it was..."

"I'll find a
new receptionist, Brigit. You won't have to stand in for long,"
Larry smiled, walking down the hall.

Sitting at his
desk, wondering what Monica was up to, Larry took the whisky bottle
from the drawer. Shame I no longer have a secret room, he mused,
recalling Christine's naked body bound to the sex cross as the
phone rang.

"Doctor
Lickman," he said, pressing the receiver to his ear.

"Ah, Doctor
Lickman - DI Clarke here."

"Hallo, how
are you?" Larry asked, wondering what the detective wanted.

"I've received
a complaint from Mother Barren-Womb concerning one of her nuns, the
one I met in your examination room."

Oh, fuck
. "A complaint?"

"Yes, the
Reverend Mother alleges that you sexually abused the nun."

"Oh, no, not
another one!"

"Yes, another
one. As you can imagine, I'm rather disturbed by the numerous
disturbing complaints alleging your sexual behaviour. I'll be
calling to see you concerning the matter in due course."

"Yes, yes all
right," Larry sighed. "I'm always here, so call any time."

"Thank you,
Doctor, I will. Goodbye."

Banging the
receiver down, Larry wondered how Mother Barren-Womb had learned of
Sister Mary's most intimate and unorthodox examination. The girl
wouldn't have told her, he reflected, unless she was a spy. Having
saved him from DI Clarke, Larry couldn't believe that the girl had
shopped him. Unless it was an elaborate plan to...

"Argh!" Lily
screamed, running down the hall. "Argh, a one-eyed monster!"

"What on
earth...?" Larry gasped, dashing into the hall to see Miss Slit
chasing Lily, a massive erect penis sticking out beneath her
microskirt. "Miss Slit, you sad transvestite! Come here, Miss
Slit!"

"Sorry, can't
stop, Doctor!" the man called, leaving the building in hot pursuit
of Lily. "To the toilets, Lily - to the toilets!"

"My God,
whatever next!" Larry sighed, returning to his room, to the bottle
of scotch. "Thank God it's the bloody weekend tomorrow!" Swigging
from the bottle, he ignored the ringing phone. It would only be
another problem, he concluded, gulping down the scotch. Yet another
problem.

After enjoying
a relaxing weekend, Larry sat at his desk and held his head,
dreading another week of horrendous problems. "Monday bloody
morning!" he sighed. "Another week of shit, no doubt!"

"You're right
there, Larry!" Brigit grinned, popping her head round the door. "DI
Clarke is here to see you!"

"Fuck me, I
can't..."

"Good morning,
Doctor Lickman!" the man beamed as he entered the room carrying a
large plastic bag.

"Oh, er...
good morning. Please, sit down. Er... Brigit, two coffees,
please."

"Certainly,
Doctor."

"So, how can I
be of assistance?" Larry asked as the sleuth sat opposite, his face
grinning as if he was about to fire the winning shot and bring
Larry down.

"After being
informed of a missing person, a nun, to be precise, I visited
Mother Barren-Womb of The Sacred Bloodied Heart of Our Lady of the
Damned Convent."

"Really? Was
the nun found?"

"She wasn't
missing, she was here, visiting you."

"Oh... er...
right, yes."

"It was all
rather coincidental, what with the nun making her timely entrance
when I was here questioning you - and the Reverend Mother reporting
the girl missing, having no idea that she was here. There are
strange things at foot, Doctor Lickman."

"Are there?"
Larry asked, looking beneath the desk at his feet. "I can't see
anything strange."

"Not at your
feet!"

"Whose feet,
then?"

"It's an
expression, a saying. There's skulduggery going on."

"Good grief,
is there?"