Sexy Berkeley (1) (14 page)

I take off my blouse and rest back on to my elbows, listening to the soft waves lapping against the shore. I close my eyes and breathe it all in, thinking of Daniel and the time that we have spent together. Today is perfect and I so want to enjoy it as much as I can, but it's tainted by the horrible reality of what's to come. If I'm feeling like this already, what will it be like if I spend more time with him? How can I go back to 'real life', without being able to see him, talk to him, touch him?
What have I gotten myself into?

"You look deep in thought, baby."
I turn to see Daniel crouching behind me, smiling. He sits behind me, facing sideways and stretches his legs out. "Here, lean back," he offers, patting his washboard belly. I rest my head back onto his stomach and turn to look at his face. He's smiling at me and looks so handsome. He gently runs his fingers through my hair, I close my eyes again and enjoy the feel of his warm stomach beneath my face, gently rising and falling in time with his breathing, his fingers playing with my hair, it's so relaxing.

"Are you ok, Bea? You seem a little quiet."

"Yes, I'm fine," I say, reaching for one of his hands and holding it to my mouth. I don't want to have to let go of him.

"I'm just thinking about the time we have spent together and how I'll be so sad to say good bye to you."

His mouth curls into a small smile. "I know, baby. Me too."

I smile back, "I like that you call me 'baby', even though I'm not your girlfriend. Makes me feel... nice."

"Oh, Bea," Daniel sighs, looking out towards the sea, "Come here..." He sits up and opens his legs, prompting me to sit between them, facing him with my legs curled around his hips. He takes his sunglasses off and hooks his hands together around my waist, gazing at me. "I wish you lived here."

"Me too, or that you lived near me," I sigh.

"I don't like to hear you say '
even though I'm not your girlfriend
'. It means that you can be someone else's, and I don't like that, not at all. I want you to be mine... my girlfriend."
Oh, Daniel!
Butterflies suddenly break free in my stomach.

I smile, sadly and look down at the sand between us. I love that he wants that, but at the same time, I want to cry. "Me, too. Do you see why this is so hard? Why we need to stop?"
I look up into his lovely face and he leans forward and kisses me gently. I rest my head on his shoulder, facing his neck and lay small kisses on his skin.

"I understand why you want to, but you know I don't agree. I want to see you as much as I can, fuck how I feel after. I'll feel a hell of a lot worse if I don't make the most of the time I can have with you."

"I can't do that, Daniel. I have to leave this lovely relaxing holiday to go home and try to function properly. I have a lovely new apartment, a business I love and my family at home, I want to enjoy that, not be too sad to appreciate it. I'll be as much use at work as a chocolate teapot, missing you."

"I understand. But I need you to know that I want to see you, every day, until you leave. And if you let me, I'll be there. I can take Friday off and spend a long weekend with you, I can see you after work tomorrow and Thursday, please think about it."

"You can't keep taking time off, Daniel."

"I can, and I will. I rarely take time off work, the business can cope without me for a day. I have to work tomorrow and Thursday, but they don't need me Friday. Please think about it."

"I will, Daniel, but..."

"I know, baby," he cuts me off, saving me from going through it all again.

I wrap my arms around him, I already know we won't be spending any more time together after tonight, and it's such a horrible thought, but I'll be heartbroken when I get home if this continues.

"It's hot, huh?" I'm pleased that he's changed the subject, I so want to try and enjoy every moment. I'm wasting it feeling sad, prematurely.

"Yes, I think I'll take my jeans off and sunbathe for a bit. I don't want to swim though."

"That's fine, I don't usually swim here, the water is quite cold."

"That, and you might try to bring me to orgasm in the water again." I wink at him.

"You didn't like that? I did." He pouts, I love it when he pouts!

"You know I did, it was incredible, but we were in a communal pool!"

"Hmm... I don't think you minded that much," he grins.
He stands up and removes his t-shirt and trousers and I smile, thinking back to this morning's 'Magic Mike' show in the bathroom. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I can tell he knows what I'm thinking. He turns and wiggles his bottom as he pulls his trousers down.

"Daniel! Don't get me started! Don't you remember how that ended this morning?"

"Yes, I do and if I recall correctly, it was extremely pleasurable for both parties."

"Unfortunately, though, now we're not in the confines of the bathroom, so we have to control ourselves."

"Yes, Ma'am. Now take off your pants and show me that hot booty."

~~~~~~~

The next couple of hours are thoroughly enjoyable, we don't mention the '
Sunday
thing
', just talk about everything and anything else. Daniel plays some music on his iPhone quietly in the background, along with the sound of the sea.

"I love this music, Daniel."

"Me, too. It's the Pure Moods album."

"Oh, I thought I recognised it. It's so relaxing."

We sit listening for a while, with me in between his legs facing away from him, leaning against his toned chest. He kisses me constantly, he's always touching me one way or another and I love that he's so tactile. It does feel like he's my boyfriend, and that we're a lot further into a relationship than a matter of days but, reluctantly, I like it.

An Enigma song follows a little later, the French lyrics hypnotising me, drawing me into a pacifying, sensuous lull. I lean
sideways in Daniel's arms and look up at him. "I'd love to know what these words mean, do you?"

"Uh huh, the background lyrics are in Latin, I think it's a prayer, I'm not great at Latin."

"The main lyrics are French," he continues, repeating the lyrics in French, and translating for me.

Fuck me sideways.
Daniel speaks French. It's fascinating and so
HOT!
I gawk at him for a moment, slightly tempted to sink down on him, right here, right now. "You speak French?"

Daniel laughs and shrugs his shoulders, "No."

I raise an eyebrow at him, pursing my lips.

"Yes, I do, baby. You sound surprised?"

"I suppose I am, although I'm not sure why, I probably know very little about you."

"I want you to know everything."

I smile. I want to know everything, too. "You know the words off by heart?"

"I listen to this album in the car a lot, I've always liked this song in particular."

"It would be a great sex song."

His eyes dart to mine, his mouth slightly ajar. "Let's do this!" he says, a grin spreading on his gorgeous face.

"Here?!"

He nuzzles my neck and kisses it, squeezing me tightly in his arms. "Mmm, will anyone notice?"

"I think they might, Daniel."

"Ok," he grumbles and lifts his head, "anyway, don't you mean '
great music to make love to'
as opposed to '
a
great sex song'?"

"Well, yes, but I'm a bit funny about saying 'make love'. I think you can only 'make love' when you're 'in love'. So for two people in love, yes, it's
'great music to make love to'
, but for us, it'd be great music for us to have sex to."

Daniel doesn't say anything for a moment, as if
thinking about what I've said. "It's starting to get late," he kisses my shoulder, "what would you like to do later? Go out? Stay in at yours or come back to mine? You haven't even been to my place yet."

"I know, but I think I'd quite like to stay at the pool-house tonight. I could make you dinner there, that way you don't have to bring me back before work tomorrow."
Truthfully, I just don't think I want to see where Daniel lives. I don't want to see his belongings, sleep in his bed, and see how he lives day to day, it would make me feel even closer to him and I'm reluctant to take another step into his life, I'll get in too deep.

"Ok, that makes sense, baby, although I would love to have you all to myself, in my home. Maybe another day?"

"Daniel, please don't."

He wisely drops it. "Let's go back." He stands and dusts the sand off before putting his clothes back on, and I follow suit.

"I love the way you wiggle when you put those pants on," Daniel says with a chuckle.

"Every time you say '
pants
' I think of great big, ugly, granny knickers. I don't
do
granny pants, Daniel."

"I am fully aware of that, Beatrice. You wear smokin' hot panties and I'd like to see them around your ankles right about now."

"Shame I'm wearing my bikini then," I respond with a wink.

"You look smokin' hot in that too."
 

I put my blouse on and shake out the towel before rolling it up and putting it in my beach bag. "Right, I'm ready to go, are you?" I ask.

"Ready," Daniel says, putting his sunglasses back on and holding his arm out to me. He wraps it around my waist and I snuggle into his side to walk back to the car. "So what are we going to make for dinner?" he asks.

"Are you going to help, Daniel?"

"I'd like to."

"Ok, how about... pasta? Can we go to the supermarket?"

"Sure, sounds good, we'll stop on the way."

When we get back in the car, I dig in my bag for my phone to text Tilly to see if they'll join us for pasta. When I find it, there's a text from Clare.

~

Clare
18 Sep 16:24

Hey, doll-face! What have you been up to? Can't wait to hear all about lover-boy! Call me! Everything is
 good at Bear's, don't even think about home. Just have fun!! Miss you loads :'( Love you xxxxxxxx

~

It's so good to hear from her, I miss her too, so much. So Tilly's told her about Daniel, I wonder what she's said. 

~

18 Sep 17:49

I'm sorry I haven't called
yet... bad friend :-( I miss you too, wish you were here, you'd LOVE it! Daniel is dreamy. You'd like him. I want to bring him home :-(. Did Til tell you about her bit of fluff? Luke? Yet another hot piece of eye candy! Will call, promise. Love you loads xxxxxxxx

~

I giggle and smile down at my phone.

"All ok, baby?"

"Yes, I had a text from Clare. I wish she was here too, you'd like her. But if she was, you'd need to find another hot, single friend for her." I grin.

"So all three of you are single? I don't understand it."

I laugh. "Well, you and Luke are single, aren't you?"

"Of course. But Luke is single because... well because he loves it, I expect he'll always be single. I'm single, just because."

"Same here. Tilly likes to have fun, like Luke... well, probably not as much as Luke! But she's not interested in settling down. Clare's much like me."

"You'd settle down?"

"Yes, if I found the right man."

"And what's the right man?"

My mouth half smiles and I roll my eyes, embarrassed. "Um... you." I whisper.

He takes a deep breath in and exhales loudly through pursed lips. He looks at me and shakes his head. "You can't say things like that, Bea."

"Why? You would be, if you were local and wanted the same thing."

"But that's just it, I do."
Wow. So, we've established, openly, that we would embark on a relationship, if we lived in the same country. 
Oh god, where does this leave me? How do I feel about this? 

"Well, since what we want can't happen, let's not talk about it, it's depressing. I better text Tilly to see if they'll join us for dinner." I decide that changing the subject is the best course of action.

Daniel looks at me, his expression, impassive. He turns to focus on the road and exhales loudly, but says nothing. 
Is he pissed off?

 
I have another text from Clare which drags my attention away from Daniel's apparent mood swing.

~

Clare 18 Sep 17:55

What?! No!!! She didn't
tell me anything about a Luke! So both of you are getting it on! This is not fair! I'm coming next time! Daniel and BB sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G! Try to bring him back with you! Gotta go, time to decorate the 'Dawson' cake. Love you, have fun. Say hi to Daniel! ;-) xxxxxx

~

CHAPTER NINE

TUESDAY 18TH SEPTEMBER (CONT.)

Daniel and I arrive back at the pool-house about an hour after my last text from Clare. No one seems to be home in either house. I still haven't heard back from Tilly, so I assume they're busy. I put my beach bag down on the sofa while Daniel puts the shopping bags in the kitchen. He has been uncharacteristically quiet since we left the beach.

I wander in to join him as he unloads the shopping, deep in thought. I stroke his shoulder, affectionately.
"Are you ok, Daniel?"

He pauses for a moment, looking down and not answering.
 I move to stand in front of him, and I have to push him away from the counter a little, as if he doesn't want to let me in. I rest my hands on his chest. "Daniel? What's wrong?" 

He looks into my eyes, a strange, blank expression. Not the happy, lovely Daniel I've seen, thus far. Why isn't he talking?

"Daniel?" I prompt, but still no response, "Daniel!" I shout again, my voice urgent.

Eventually, he answers. "I think you're right," he whispers.

"What? What about?"

"I think we should stop this. Sooner rather than later."

Oh.
I know I should be pleased that he's agreeing to what I asked, but hearing him say it, seeing him so cold... it's horrible. What happened to wanting me to be his girlfriend? Now he doesn't even want to look at me.

"Oh. Ok, so after tonight, we stop seeing each other?"

He pauses again, "I think... I think I should go now."

"What? Why? What's happened, Daniel?"

"Nothing. I have just realised that you're right, Bea. This will only get harder, the longer it goes on."

He steps back, away from me and grabs his keys from the side before walking out of the kitchen.

"You don't want dinner?" I ask, chasing after him like a puppy.

"No."

"Daniel, please."

He runs his hand along the back of his neck and clos
es his eyes for a brief moment. "I'm going to go, Bea. I... "

"Please don't go, Daniel. I was
so
looking forward to spending tonight with you." I rest my hand lightly on his arm and he quickly pulls away.

"Fuck, Bea! You're the one that wanted this," he spits, his voice harsh, "you don't stop going on about how this can't amount to anything, how you don't want to see me again in case it's 'too
hard' later. You wanted this, Bea, not me. You."

What the fuck?
"Not like this, Daniel, and you know that! Why are you being like this?" I can feel my eyes burning as the tears well, I don't want to cry but I can't seem to control it.

"Look, like I said, I just realised that you're right. We can't do this anymore. Enjoy the rest of your vacation, I hope you've enjoyed the past few days. I... I've got to go."

"But, Daniel, don't..." Tears begin to tumble over my lashes as he takes one long, last look at me, flexing his hands and clenching his jaw. He closes his eyes briefly and turns to leave the pool-house, practically sprinting off. I stand, staring at the door, not really understanding what just happened. How could he be so cold? Today was so wonderful, and then...
that.
What happened to him wanting to see me every day until I go? I know I said 'no', but he asked me to think about it.

I walk, dazed, into the kitchen and look at the shopping on the counter. I was going to cook for us, for our lovely evening together, we were supposed to talk and kiss and be intimate. He was supposed to stay and wrap me up in his big, strong arms.

I well up again, thinking about what tonight was
supposed
to be and how, now, it's a big, deflated nothing. I slide down the wall and slump to the kitchen floor, my heart beating so hard and fast it feels like it'll explode in my chest. I rest my head on my knees and hug my legs, tightly. I feel physically sick. I sounded like a desperate, clingy teenager getting dumped. Is that why he went? Was I too clingy? I'm just so confused.

~~~~~~~

Twenty minutes must have passed, still curled on the kitchen floor, running through everything we did today. I try to recall what happened, what I said. He kept saying that I wanted this, but I don't, not
this
. I just feel so much for him, and am too aware of the inevitable hurt that's ahead, why can't he understand that I'm trying to shield myself from deeper pain? I wipe my wet cheek with the back of my hand and rest my head back against the wall. Determined to stop crying. He's gone. It's done. Finished. Deal with it.

The french doors slamming makes me jump out of my skin, my head shoots up as he bursts though the door frame and drops to his knees in front of me, wrapping his arms around me.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry, baby, I'm such an asshole, I'm sorry." He plants small kisses all over my face.
What the fuck?!
 I'm happy to see him, but I'm so confused, what just happened?

He pulls away and holds my face in his hands, staring at me, intently. He wipes away my tears with his thumbs.
"Please don't cry, I'm sorry."

"Daniel, I... what happened?"

"I... I just panicked, the thought of you leaving suddenly overwhelmed me. And all that talk of how we don't 'make love', it kind of got to me. I mean, what we do is incredible and I love it,
a lot
, but I think too much of you to just be 'fucking' you, Bea.

"Having to deal with the fact that this can't go any further in such a blunt way, I don't know, I feel so... helpless, like I'm trying to convince you to want as much as I do, to no avail. I shouldn't have ran out like that, though, or got pissed at you... it was completely selfish of me and a shitty thing to do."

"Daniel, for god’s sake! Convincing me to want as much as you do? How many times have I made it fucking
obvious
how much I like you? How can you not know? I'm trying to protect myself, and every minute I'm with you that gets harder and harder because I'm feeling so much more. What you just did was so fucking horrible! Yes, I'm blunt about how we move forward, I don't know how else to be, I haven't been in this situation before, Daniel, but one thing I do know, is that if we carry on, this is going to go from being god damned sad, to being completely and utterly fucking broken, when I leave. Okay? Can you understand that?"

He puts his head in his hands and winces. "Fuck. I've fucked up. I'm so sorry, baby," he whispers.
"Yes, I can understand it. I just don't want it to be that way, like if I don't think about what's ahead, it'll somehow change, and every time you remind me that you're leaving, something inside drops. And I flipped.

"I appreciate that our fucked up situation is not your fault, and fully accept what a total douche I've been. God baby, Bea, I'm so, so sorry. Please let me stay? Make it up to you, continue as we had originally planned before I made a royal fuck up of everything? I really don't want to miss out on this short time I have with you."
His darling face looks so worried. I start to stand up and Daniel does the same, his eyes on my face the whole time.

"Please can I stay? Have dinner and stay the night? From tomorrow, we can cool off if you like, I really do understand where you're coming from. It will be hard, knowing you're right here, but with every day that I'm with you, it gets harder to think of you leaving. So I'm ok doing it your way, if that's really what you want." He grabs my hands and holds them between us, kissing them. "My feelings for you are growing, fast. I think what I felt today, was the feeling you've been describing about Sunday."

I nod, I believe him. "It's ok, Daniel. Stop apologising."

"I feel so shitty that you're upset, because of me."

I tug one of my hands from his and place it gently on the side of his face. "Please stop it. It's ok, you're back now. We've talked. Yes, I'd love for you to stay for dinner."

"Thank you." He leans forward and kisses me lightly. "I won't stay the night if you don't want me to."

"Daniel, stop it. I want you to, of course I do. Let's just forget it."

He gazes at me and smiles. "You're amazing."
He steps forward and lifts me so I'm sitting on the counter, butterflies float in my belly and tingles run from my navel to my chest. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, running my fingers over his muscles, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, softly, his face serious and his eyes intense, the beautiful turquoise that enraptures me so thoroughly.

I look down for a beat before meeting his eyes again, slowly lowering my gaze to his invitingly pouty lips and back again. "Daniel, it's ok, really." I stroke his neck. "Now, pucker up buttercup."

He chuckles, turquoise twinkling as he lowers his face to meet mine. He gently runs his nose up and down mine, our lips brushing against each other. It's so sensual, so intimate. A small moan escapes me as he pushes his mouth against mine, forcefully, locking us together.

Our tongues find each other, gently caressing, the heat runs under my skin from the excitement of having him against me, wanting me. I finally realise that this situation is equally hard for both of us, it gives me a bizarre thrill, knowing he wants me as strongly as I do him. The sound of Daniel's passionate groan sends desire rushing through my veins. My hands run through his hair, pulling his face into mine, I need him, now.

I glide one hand down his front, to his waistband. I yank it towards me, making my intentions very clear and Daniel smiles against my mouth. I unbutton his trousers and slowly glide the zip down before slipping my hand inside the waistband of his swimming trunks, and down to his rock hard, ready cock.

"Uh," Daniel groans as he tilts his head backwards, away from me. I grab his hair with my free hand and force his face back to mine again.

"Kiss me," I growl against his lips. I tighten my hold around him and glide my hand up and down his thick shaft slowly as I kick the door with my foot, slamming it shut.

Daniel slides his hands underneath my blouse, gliding over my breasts and around to my back where he unties by bikini, dropping it to my thighs. He immediately gropes my breasts, firmly and I moan in ecstasy. His fingers flick over my nipples before his hands move lower to my waistband. He unfastens the button and grabs my backside, pulling me off the counter so my feet drop to the floor. He steps with me to the back of the kitchen door and presses me up against it, un-zipping my jeans.

Pulling away from me, forcing me to let go, he sinks to his knees in front of me. He tugs at both sides of my jeans, pulling them down to my ankles. He gazes at my bikini briefs for a moment, before slowly pulling the bows at either side so they drop between my legs. String swimwear is super convenient for this type of thing.

Daniel moans, licking his lips whilst gazing at me... at my bits. He leans forward and runs his tongue right up the middle, stroking my clitoris as he goes, making me shudder with pleasure.

"Ah," I flinch, it's so sensitive. He gently licks again before kissing me and standing up slowly to pull his swimming trunks down.

We simultaneously step out of our trouser legs and kick them to the side. Daniel pulls his polo shirt up and over his head, standing in front of me, totally naked and absolutely gorgeous.

He steps towards me so we're almost touching, he lifts my blouse over my head and we stand, gazing at each other, soaking in the view. Daniel's breathing, rapid, he grabs me, kissing me fast and furiously. His hands glide over my body, touching me, feeling me, exploring me.

I run my fingernails gently up and down his back, he groans loudly and grabs my bottom, pressing me against him, his erection pushing eagerly into my belly. I writhe up and down against him, wrapping my hands around his neck, pulling him closer. He lifts me, effortlessly, my legs curling around his torso, leaving me open, and ready.

Pressing me against the door, he positions himself below me and I gasp as I feel his tip, pressing against me, right there.
"Baby," he growls.

"Daniel," I whisper, desperate for more, willing him to push further.

"Look at me."

"I am, I will, please, Daniel..."

"Keep looking into my eyes, please?" he whispers, almost pleading.

"Daniel!"

"Say it!"

"I promise, I will, Daniel. I'll look into your eyes. Please, I want you, I need you."

He kisses me and gently bites my lip, before pulling back to lock eyes with me. He slowly, delectably pushes all the way into me, so far, so deep. I cry out, desperately resisting the temptation to throw my head back in ecstasy, instead, baring to him, every moment of intense pleasure.

He pulls back and slowly pushes into me again, pushing deeper and deeper, it's almost painful but so,
unbelievably
good. 

"Oh, Daniel, again, deeper," I moan, loudly, and he thrusts harder still.

"Ah! Yes, that's it. Daniel, fuck me hard, please!" He pulls back and slams into me, deep and hard, it's incredible.

Still staring deep into his eyes, showing him my every reaction to each thrust. Seeing his need, the pleasure in his eyes so carnal and heavy, and I need more.