Shackled Lily (9 page)

“Reggie, remember what Harry is always telling us. God puts people in our lives for a reason. I think there’s a lot more demons in her than we realize. We are probably exactly what she needs right now. I wonder if she’s ever even been around Christians before.”

I heard Reggie sigh and tell Candace he loved her. Now I definitely knew I was going to get sick.

“Issy?” I heard Candace say as we pulled into a driveway. “I’m going to get your car and take you home. I need your address and your keys.”

I handed her my purse and slurred the address to her before shutting my eyes for the final time. I didn’t want to hear them talking about me like I was some pet project. I had been around Christians before. Parker was always talking about God to both Avery and me. And like him, they could try to save someone else. I had no interest in it.

Seconds later, I awoke to a door opening and Reggie’s voice apologizing and explaining he had no idea I was drinking. Grant’s honey sweet voice assured him I was a master at this type of thing and not to feel guilty at all. Ugh, they all needed to stop talking about me!

“Come here, Issy,” Grant said sweetly as he pulled me out of the car. I did my best to move, but was of little help. Next thing I knew, I was weightless and held tight against Grant’s strong chest. I heard him shut the front door softly and adjust my weight in his arms.

“Don’t you get tired of this?” I slurred, louder than I intended.

“Hush Issy, you’ll wake your father and he does not need to see you in this condition,” Grant said sharply as we approached the stairs. I dramatically slapped my hand over my mouth and giggled, garnering another dirty look from him.

He managed to get me to my room without a scene and shut my door before laying me down on the bed. I felt the covers pull back and my shoes come off before my head rested on my soft pillow.

“Grant?” I said quietly, grabbing his hand as he was about to leave. He came back to me, kneeling close to the bed and touching my face with his soft caress. “I’m haunted too,” I admitted before closing my eyes.

“I know, baby. I know. I’ll wait for you. No matter how long it takes.” He kissed my forehead and turned off my light, leaving me to the first dreamless night I’d had in over a week.

The morning light in my room was blinding even despite my dark walls. Grant had failed to pull the curtains shut last night, a gesture I’m sure was intentional. I turned my head over on my pillow and ran my hand along the floor, searching for my purse. I couldn’t find it and opened one eye to spot it on my nightstand. I pulled it under the covers with me, the darkness finally allowing me to open my eyes fully. I closed them again as soon as my phone lit up and slowly texted Rosa to bring me up a green smoothie. The pain in my head was excruciating, worse than anything I’d ever remembered. My stomach turned, and I shot out of bed to the bathroom where I released the rest of the alcohol that had been sitting in my stomach. I hated it when I threw up, and rarely ever did. I felt a little better when I stood up, but the room was still spinning a little. Was I still drunk? Great, that should make conversation with my dad very interesting this morning.

I turned on the shower and stepped in thinking it would make me feel better. It did at first, but then the heat of the water and the steam started turning my stomach again
, and before I knew it, I was releasing more alcohol down the drain. I sat on the tile floor, just letting the water stream over my body and tried to stop shaking. What was wrong with me? I never reacted like this to alcohol. Had New Year’s changed my body that much?

I heard a knock at the door and assumed it was Rosa. “Come in,” I yelled as loud as I could manage without bursting my ears. The glass door was foggy from the steam, but I could still see that it wasn’t Rosa who came in carrying my drink…it was Grant.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, attempting to cover the important things and yelled, “Grant, what are you doing? Get out.” My voice was not nearly as stern or loud as I intended. In fact, the faint rasp sounded pretty pathetic.

He set the drink down on the vanity and then folded his arms. “You have five minutes to get out and then we are going to talk about last night. At minute six, I’m coming in and will pull you out myself.” His voice was
not
honey sweet this morning. It was demanding and direct, so much like my father that I wanted to throw my shampoo bottle at him.

“Your time starts now,” he stated before walking back through the door.

Since I didn’t feel like giving Grant a peep show, I turned off the water and put on my robe. I didn’t bother brushing through the rat’s nest that was now my hair and just sat on my vanity chair sipping my drink. It would be a cold day in hell before I took orders from Grant. If he wanted to talk to me, he could come get me, just like he threatened.

I stared at him defiantly when I saw my bathroom door burst open. He didn’t say a word, just picked me up and carried me to the sitting area in my room. I felt myself being tossed into one of the chairs and almost spilled the drink I was carrying. I started to yell at him, but stopped because I could tell that was what he wanted, to invo
ke some kind of emotion from me. Instead, I just sat there, coolly drinking my smoothie with a stone cold look on my face.

“You are the most exasperating woman I’ve ever known,” he accused running his hand through his light brown hair while pacing in front of me. I didn’t respond, and Grant finally sat down next to me so his eyes could look closely at mine.

“You almost died of alcohol poisoning not two weeks ago, and you get wasted the first night out of this house? Are you trying to kill yourself?” he asked, looking almost as desperate as his voice sounded. I didn’t respond. “Just so you know, your dad is on a tirade this morning, Issy. He knows you didn’t go to your mom’s, and I got the third degree all morning about what time you came in and where you were. I’m trying to protect you, but you are making it really hard for me.”

“So don’t protect me,” I replied emotionless. “I never asked you to come to my rescue.”

He stared at me in stunned silence before shaking his head. “He expects you down for breakfast which starts in fifteen minutes. You may not care, but I do, so can you please try and be there…and attempt to look somewhat presentable?” he asked looking me up and down. I had no idea what I looked like and honestly didn’t care.

Grant put both arms on my chair and leaned into me, his voice turning noticeably softer. “I know you feel trapped, ok, and you think this is the only thing that helps. I’ve been there, Issy. I’ve been lost and felt hopeless, but I found an answer that is so much better than alcohol. Your father can be stifling, but can you even imagine what he’s
going to do if he finds out you were drinking last night? What if he takes you from here too?” I continued to stare at him with a stony look until he stood up defeated and walked out of my room.

I looked at the clock and decided it was better to face the firing squad on my terms. The smoothie was starting to work, and I was able to throw on some pajamas and brush out my hair. I dabbed a little make up under my eyes until it looked like I had just woken from a very restful night’s sleep.

I made it to the dining table with two minutes to spare and shot my dad my sweetest smile as I put my napkin on my lap. “Morning, Daddy.”

His entire body was rigid, and I turned to look at Anna who actually looked worried. Junior was oblivious as usual, just sitting there with a sweet look on his face. Darn that kid for being so adorable.

“Did you have a good time at your mother’s?” my dad asked trying to get his voice to stay calm.

“What, you two didn’t have your daily chat yet?” I replied looking surprised and slightly satisfied when I saw Anna’s head jerk in my dad’s direction. “There was a last minute study session I got invited to. Seems I got signed up for some really hard classes this semester, so I need all the help I can get. I told Mom last night that we’d reschedule. I’m surprised she didn’t call you considering how close you too have become.” I forced myself to take a bite of the toast on my plate, all the while my stomach was revolting against the food.

I watched as the hand curled around his fork went white with pressure as he glared in my direction. I continued to look up at him with the most innocent expression I could find.

Two deliberate bites later, my father had controlled himself enough to speak. “Kaitlyn, in the future, I expect a phone call if your plans are going to change.” I had to give it to my dad, he was really good at keeping his temper in check around the little brat—a fact I would certainly use to my advantage in the future.

“No problem, Daddy. Now, may I be excused? I have to get ready for class.”

He nodded in response, and I left the table, barely making it back to my room before the nausea hit again. I had no intention of going to class, but I doubted my father would even notice. I checked my phone for signs that Jake or Avery had answered the hundreds of texts I sent yesterday. Neither had. My gut told me something was very wrong, but I had no ability to deal with it right then. I slowly pulled the shades closed so that the room went completely dark and crawled back to bed. Sleep….I needed sleep.

8. road trip

I spent most of Tuesday in my bed, only coming down for the mandatory dinner hour. My father asked me how my classes went, and I lied saying they were fine before changing the subject back to his day. Truth was I didn’t even know what classes he had scheduled me for on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It didn’t matter. All I had to do was pull a C in whatever it was.

I couldn’t skip two days in a row, though, so I drug myself out of bed to get ready for the day. I felt too lazy to change my hair color again, so I just left it dark, comforted only by the fact that very few people had seen it that color. I was slightly concerned about seeing Reggie in class today. The details were hazy, but part of me remembered him not being so happy about me drinking. Why did everyone have such an opinion on how I lived my life? I threw on some tight jeans and a green silk blouse before grabbing a scarf out of my closet. I may be tired, but that was n
o excuse for not looking good for school.

I managed to avoid seeing anyone on my way out the door and slipped into the driver’s side of my new BMW to find a note and a lily sitting on my seat. The flower had made the whole car smell, and the fragrance put a smile on my face. The note was from Grant thanking me for smoothing things over with my dad, noting that he knew I didn’t have to. He also asked if I would meet him on the pier tonight. I smiled to myself before leaving and wondered how he knew lilies were my favorite flower. 

The drive and Grant’s note eased a little of my tension, but I felt nervous again as I entered my business class and was grateful I had gotten there early. I found the same seat I sat in on Monday and pushed down any anxiety. If Reggie was upset, I’d make him forgive me, simple as that.

I had just finally got
ten myself calm when I saw Jason stroll into class. He was alone this time and immediately started looking around. I noticed he had cut his hair, making the once shaggy mop look more artistically messy. It looked good on him and made him look even cuter than before. He caught my eye, and his face lit up way more than was common after knowing a person for only two days. My stomach turned. Not him too. Well, at least there wouldn’t be collateral damage with this one…and…he was a bartender. I smiled back. Maybe this admiration wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Hey beautiful,” he said as he slid in the seat next to me, moving far in on my personal space.

“Can I help you?” I asked leaning away from him.

“Come on, I thought you and I were on a first name basis now.” He knew I was playing with him, making his blue eyes sparkle in anticipation.

“That was when you were handing out free drinks,” I stated, feigning interest in my fingernails. “In the light of day, I don’t know, it’s not so appealing.”

He put his head down in frustration and then looked up grinning again. “You know you’re breaking my heart, don’t you?”

Before I could respond, I caught a glimpse of Reggie heading our way. “I recommend you take your broken heart somewhere else. Reggie doesn’t look happy,” I advised remaining as aloof as I had been through the whole conversation.

Jason took my advice and stood up, grabbing his backpack in the process. I lightly touched his hand, giving just a hint of a smile before whispering, “I like your hair.” It was all he needed to know I was still interested, and he winked at me before finding another seat.

Reggie’s eyes followed him before sitting down next to me. “I thought you didn’t like that guy?” he asked in a gruff voice.

I just shrugged. “He’s not so bad.”

I was hoping that would be the end of our exchange, but Reggie continued. “Tink, about the other night…”

“I know, I’m sorry,” I interrupted.

“No you don’t know, so you need to listen. I don’t appreciate being put in that situation. In the future, if you are going to drink when I’m responsible for you, I’d like to know and not be blindsided. Got it? We really like you, Issy, and want to hang out with you, but we’re not into that scene. Judging from Monday night, you shouldn’t be either.”

My first reaction was to lash back at him. I’d never had a friend scold me before, and I didn’t like it. Even Jake got an earful when he attempted to tell me what to do. Something in Reggie’s face stopped me, though. It wasn’t judgment, but genuine concern, and I felt slightly touched by it.

“That’s fair. I won’t drink when I’m out with you,” I promised, closing the subject. He nodded, and we turned our attention to the fashionably challenged professor who was carefully explaining business terms I had been aware of since I was five years old.

The day continued much the same as it had on Monday, with the one difference being Rusty’s obvious fascination with me. I don’t think Reggie told him how the night ended, because Rusty still seemed to think I was “good” enough for him. Somehow, I managed to get through lunch without hurting his feelings. When he asked to walk me to class again, I declined, saying I needed to make an important phone call on the way, but next time. I excused myself from the group and found an obscure bench far away from prying eyes where I could check my text messages. There was still nothing from Jake who had been uncharacteristically absent since Monday. I scrolled down the list and noticed one from Avery
asking me to call her.

I immediately dialed her cell
, and she picked up on the second ring.

“Hey,” she said, sounding slightly mellow. “Thanks so much for calling me back.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for days. What’s going on?” I scolded, not hiding the irritation in my voice.

“Have you talked to Jake?” she asked, her voice sounding even sadder.

My stomach fluttered, and I sat up straight on the bench. “No, he’s not answering my calls. What’s going on?”

Avery hesitated for a second and then continued, “He’s just having a hard time, Issy. Things between us, well, I ended it, and he’s not taking it well.” She hesitated again
, and I jumped in.

“How hard of a time, Avery?” I asked, my voice exposing my concern.

“Hard enough that I had to stay at Parker’s last night. You were right. I was fooling myself to think that we could be friends.” I heard her sigh and then her voice sounded almost pleading. “He just needs somebody right now. I don’t know what else to do. I know you are in class this week and all, but if there is any way you can get up here, I think you should.”

Avery didn’t need to say more. I knew Jake well enough to know that it was serious. I had watched him lose it two other times in our lives, when his mom died, and when we road tripped to Atlanta to find his dad—a fact he still doesn’t know I’m aware of. If New Year’s was any indication of his emotional stability, I needed to get up there…NOW.

I grabbed my backpack and headed straight to the parking lot, only concerned with one thing. I knew I was skipping yet another class, but I didn’t care. I shouldn’t be here anyway.

To my chagrin, my father was still home when I stormed in the house and up the stairs to pack. He stopped me on my way out the door, looking directly at the overnight bag in my hand.

“I’m going to Winsor tonight. I’ll be back for class tomorrow,” I stated without any room for argument.

“No,” was his only response.

I attempted to pull my arm away from his grip with no avail. “Listen to me, I have done everything you asked of me, down to taking classes at a school I hate. I’m going to Winsor tonight, even if I have to sneak out while you are sleeping. Jake needs me.”

My father rolled his eyes and snorted. He never understood my loyalty to Jake, and why would he? He had never been loyal to a soul in his life. “You’re not going alone,” he finally said, letting go of my arm.

“Dad, I’m almost twenty years old. I can handle a twenty-four hour road trip.”

“Two weeks ago, your twenty year old self lay dying in a hospital bed. I don’t want to hear it.  You aren’t going alone,” he commanded.

“Fine. Who would you like to go with me?” I pouted, folding my arms in front of me.

“I’ve got some paperwork I need Steve to sign anyway. Grant can take it up there and keep his eye on you in the meantime,” my dad said thinking out loud. Steve was one of Daddy’s business partners. His son, Branson, also went to Winsor, so he spent a good deal of time up there. Our parents had tried unsuccessfully to set the two of us up on multiple occasions. Branson was a sweet guy, but that’s a far as it went. My father finally stopped pushing it when I reminded him that breaking Branson’s heart would not be good for his business relationship.

“I expect you at the breakfast table in the morning…and you better not be hung over this time.” I jerked my head up to look at him, but he just raised his eyebrow at me.

“Fine,” I groaned, grabbing my bag again. “I want to leave
now
, so tell Grant to hurry.”

I sat on the steps waiting for only a few minutes before I saw Grant’s car pull around to the front. I opened the back door and slid in behind him. He responded by turning off the engine.

“What are you doing?” I yelled, my temper already at a boiling point.

“I’m not going anywhere until you get in the front seat.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who orchestrated this babysitting trip,” I replied folding my arms in protest.

“Suit yourself. Just remember you’re the one who’s so eager to get there. I really don’t even care if we go at all.” He reclined his seat as if he was ready to settle in for a nap.

“UGH!” I screamed as I tore out of the back and into the passenger seat next to him. “Satisfied?”

“Very,” he answered with a smirk and moved his seat back up. He started the car again and pulled out of the driveway. My nerves were fried. I had tried to text and call Jake three more times with no luck.

“Just hurry, ok?” I pleaded, looking at my phone again. Thoughts of my mother in the tub shot to my mind, but I pushed them out. Jake wouldn’t do anything so stupid, would he? I really didn’t know. He’d never been in love before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Grant asked softly.

“Simple story really. Boy meets girl, boy breaks girl’s heart, boy realizes he’s an idiot, girl won’t take him back. What can I say? Love sucks.”

“That’s a pretty bitter mindset, Issy,” Grant lectured, glancing my way.

I turned to look him in the eye, making sure he saw I was being very serious. “It’s the
only
mindset, Grant.”

“Not every relationship ends like your parent’s did.” His voice was gentle, carefully treading on territory he knew I didn’t want to discuss.

I felt my stomach burn. “Really? Name two couples you know who are still together? Just two. How about your parents? They still happily in love?” I challenged.

Grant scowled at me
, and I sat back satisfied. “Why do you still do this stuff anyway? I mean, you’re a college graduate, yet you still do my dad’s bidding. Besides, I thought your dad was some business guru himself. Why not work for him?”

He smirked at me before answering. “Not every task is so bad. I kind of enjoy some of them.”

I rolled my eyes and he continued, “Honestly, I hadn’t planned to still be working for your dad. My father had already promised me a senior position in his company as soon as I graduated. I told your dad that I’d be leaving in July and relocating to New York to work for my father.  He was really happy for me and even promised to give a glowing reference for the time I spent with him.”

“So what happened?” I asked, bothered by how much it unnerved me to think of Grant moving so far away.

“A few weeks before I was going to leave, rumors started flying that my father engaged in some illegal business deals. He promised everyone that he was innocent, but it didn’t matter. The company’s stock value started to drop dramatically and the Board of Directors suggested my father resign as CEO. Even though he was the primary shareholder, he agreed for the sole purpose of saving the company he loved so much.”

I watched as Grant’s face became solemn as he turned to look at me briefly before turning back to the road. “Your father really came to our aid, Issy. He bought my father’s shares from him, promising to sell them back once he got back on his feet. Your father also hired him on as a senior executive in one of his companies. He even let me stay on despite the fact he had already hired my replacement.”

I listened to his words with skepticism knowing my father had to have some ulterior motive.

“Grant, isn’t there something else you could do, though? I mean, I’m sure you’ve had other offers. You can be so much more than just my dad’s assistant.” I wasn’t sure why I was pushing this. Maybe knowing he had been so close to being free.

Grant stiffened at my words, apparently offended by them. “It may seem like a little job to you, but your dad is a very powerful man in the business world. I get to sit in on meetings and participate in business transactions that I never could as some junior associate in one of his companies. You may see it as just being his assistant, but after seven years of loyalty and service, your dad trusts me, and I know it will all pay off in the end.”

“Whatever you say, Grant. But, let me fill you in on a little secret about my dad. He never does anything that doesn’t first benefit himself, and he will abandon you and your seven plus years of loyalty the minute he sees fit to,” I warned.