Shades of Amber (8 page)

My patience is wearing
thin, Jade. You know why I’m doing this. Give in so I can make you
forget all the days we’ve been apart.

I start to shred the
letter, but his lack of a signature bothered me. I glanced over my
shoulder and then back to the paper because my ex was nothing, if
not thorough. Sure enough, there is a small arrow at the bottom of
the page.

I know you want to
demonstrate your freedom, but I should warn you that my love for
the chase has only intensified.

-Troy

“
You are not in control.
This is my life.” I tore at the paper like a human shredder,
holding my breath until the final piece hit the floor. “I stopped
caring about your desires a long time ago.”

Speak to Me

I look into your
eyes,

You weave a
spell.

You want me so
bad,

But I must
prevail…

If I give into your
demands,

I would not
withstand

This magic that consumes
me

Like quicksand.

You’re in my
mind,

My heart,

And my dreams.

But nothing with
you…

is as it seems.

You’re my drug of
choice,

My Achilles
heel,

But I know that I am
stronger…

STILL.

-Jade

Chapter 8

Friday morning was
torture. The sun was too bright, my bedroom was too warm, and there
was far too much noise.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I sat up, squinting as my
brain struggled to place the sound. In my pink slippers, I shuffled
toward my balcony.

Even Troy would have more
sense than to knock on my window at 7 a.m. Right?

I raced outside and found
a woodpecker striking a tree.

Deep down, I knew Troy
couldn’t be behind every single thing that happened during my day,
but it was hard to cut the paranoia off. I turned around and almost
fell on my face. The large square box was leaning against the
siding with a black bow in the center. I was too afraid to open
it.

He was driving me crazy
with all the gifts and phone calls. There had to be a way to make
him stop.
I left the box untouched and
went to get dressed.

Since I’d stopped checking
my reflection a week and a half ago, I could only imagine how deep
the shadows were. At school, I rushed from class to class, always
looking over my shoulder, and my nights....

Those consisted of
cowering beneath my blankets with a book and a flashlight like some
kid up past her bedtime. I guess I was afraid of what might happen
if he knew I was home alone. It was tempting to stay with my
parents, but I couldn’t bring my problems to their
doorstep.

What if he tried to visit?
Would I let him come in for tea or coffee? I hoped not.

Since I spent most of my
time reading and hiding out; I rarely saw my friends, not to
mention the fact that my bookshelves were almost empty.

As I drove to school, I
considered what my life had turned into these last few weeks. My
sleep-deprived reflection startled me when I caught sight of myself
in the rearview mirror.

How could I let some guy
do this to me? Well, not anymore!

By the time I got to
school, I knew how I’d handle my “Troy” situation.

The weekend and school
days passed as I ignored his distraction attempts, and by the end
of the week, I was sleeping a full eight hours. I took a deep
breath and smiled as I sat on the bench in the Outdoor Art Museum.
He hadn’t reached out in two glorious days, and I was beside myself
with joy.

It felt good to be free. I
should have put my phone on silent after that first night, but I
still loved him. I wanted him to reach out to me, but not if he was
messing with my health and academic standing. I wouldn’t let him
break me.

Caught in the moment, I
waited a little longer before looking at my phone.

I was gonna be late for
Calculus.

Grabbing my backpack, I
sprinted across campus, burst through the lobby doors, and ran
upstairs.

Time was on my side until
I rounded the corner. “I am so sorry,” I said as I plowed into a
tall figure. I put on my best smile as strong arms caught my waist.
Black, wavy hair shielded his eyes, but his smile was
familiar.

His hand smothered my
screams as he pulled me into a dark room. My feet and teeth aimed
to make contact, but he held me tighter, squeezing the air from my
lungs, and then he locked the door.

I blinked and saw tiny
bursts of light. His hand was obstructing my flow of oxygen. I
tried to remember the glimpse of him in the hall, but it happened
too fast.

I couldn’t see, but I
could feel him. His breathing was heavy, his voice husky as he
said, “Don’t scream, cher.”

It really was
him.

“
Nod for me, Jade. If your
screams lure someone, it won’t be pretty.”

My head bobbed up and
down.

“
That’s my
girl.”

His hand slid from my
mouth, caressed my cheek, and tangled in my hair. I swayed as I
inhaled his cologne. It was that same heady mixture of amber and
spice. My fingers flexed around his bicep as I tried to steady
myself.

“
It’s okay, I’ve got
you.”

A whimper escaped as he
pulled me into his chest. My arms circled his waist of their own
accord. He felt bigger, stronger. His voice had always gotten to
me, but now it made me want to let down my guard.

“
I’ve waited so long for
this,” he whispered against my lips.

I mumbled something, but
he swallowed my words. That was good since I might’ve said I still
loved him.

Our tongues tangled for a
moment, and then I pushed him away.

My boyfriend was dead;
there was no way around that little detail.

“
Back to reality already,
cher?” He flipped a light switch.

I blinked a few times and
rubbed my eyes.

We were in a
closet.

Troy looked solid in his
navy button-down and charcoal trousers; smelled solid too. Just
like the clean, sexy man that he used to be. I tried not to inhale
as he leaned close, but his scent was slowly chasing the fight from
my body.

He caressed my arms up and
down. It was soothing, but I couldn’t let him have the upper hand,
so I surveyed the small room, frantic for an escape.

Maybe I could whack him
with a broom.

“
It was difficult to track
you down at first. No one wanted to give up your schedule, but I
can be very persuasive.” He took a step back as his gaze swept my
body.

“
You’re awfully quiet. You
should be happy that it’s really me, but since you ignore all of my
phone calls—I should have guessed you wouldn’t let me into your
life so easily.”

I wanted to scream and
throw things, but I couldn’t move. “I can’t believe it.” I
straightened my posture and met his gaze. “What do you
want?”

He came
forward.

“
Don’t. You’re not
real.”

“
I am.” He reached for me,
but I tucked my arms over my chest.

“
How can you be
here?”

He bit his lip. “Well, I
took this fast road-beast called an automobile and arrived at this
educational facility to see the girlfriend who hasn’t wanted
anything to do with me….”

“
Shut up! That’s not what
I mean.”

He studied me.

“
What. Do. You.
Want?”

“
You should know that by
now, Jade.” He touched my cheek. “All I want is you. Your heart and
your soul.”

“
You’ve had my heart, but
no matter what you are, you will never have my soul!”

He shook with
laughter.

I glared at him. “Go
ahead, underestimate me.”

“
No, cher, you
underestimate me. I’m different now.”

“
Yeah, you’re
psychotic.”

“
Ouch, Jade.” He staggered
back with a hand over his chest. “You wound me with your
negativity.”

“
I have you to thank.” I
barely finished my sentence before he had me pressed against the
wall.

“
What is
it you think I’ve become if you would call me a
thing
instead of a
person?” He lingered for a several seconds, and then paced the
room.

What indeed….

“
You’re
not the same man you were so… you tell me. What is it
you
see when you look in
the mirror?”

He rubbed a hand through
his hair before turning his back to me. “I would if I
could.”

Lunging toward the exit, I
twisted the knob and propelled myself forward. The bright hallway
blinded me as I hurried toward the stairs. Despite my common sense,
I glanced back, unnerved by the sight of him leaning against the
doorjamb.

He didn’t speak, yet his
words echoed in my head. “
I’ll be seeing
you soon, Jade.”

Once Burned

Once burned, twice
shy...

That's how I feel when I
think of my guy.

The love of my
life,

my very best
friend.

He disappeared,

then came back
again.

His love is
hypnotic,

His personality
unique.

But if I open the
door,

and share my
love,

My lifetime,

Who knows what I’ll
find...

When
his definition, 

And mine

Are no longer the same
kind.

-Jade

Chapter 9

How could Troy be
here?

I drove down the street,
willing myself to calm down. I’d always assumed he was just
haunting me. I never considered he could be something
else.

He didn’t deny
it.

When the light turned red,
I sent a group text to Amelia, Faith, and Mariah: meeting at my
house, now please!

Painful thoughts swarmed
as I took full advantage of the designated 40 miles per
hour.

I’d spent so long trying
to forget about him, and now he was back? How was I supposed to
process this?

My keys were still in the
door when my friends dashed onto the porch.

“
Wow! You guys must have
broken a record somewhere.”

Amelia groaned from the
physical exertion. “Hey, it sounded like an emergency.”

“
Oh, it is,” I said as
they followed me to my square dining table.

Mariah exhaled. “So what’s
up?”

I zoned out, unable to
resist the memory of our rendezvous in the dark. If Troy knew how
much I still wanted him, he would never leave me alone.

My shoulders slumped.
“Troy is back and he’s—different.”

Faith choked on her gum.
“Your Troy?”

“
Do we know any other
handsome, slightly obsessive guys named Troy?” Mariah asked. “But
Jade, did you hit your head or something? He’s been dead for over a
year.”

My brain conjures a
scathing retort, but I settle for saying, “My head is fine. He
caught up with me in the library a few weeks ago, then he started
calling me, and today, he ambushed me outside of my
class.”

Amelia shook her head.
“How is he different, though?”

“
Troy is really back?”
Faith shook her head. “I thought you were dreaming. I’m sorry,
Jade.”

“
I didn’t want to believe
it either.” I took a deep breath. “Troy is flesh and bone. I just
don’t think he’s human.”

Mariah rubbed her
shoulder. “Since when has Troy ever been human? Sexy, yes, but that
boy has fewer morals than—well I’m not sure, but he was never a
saint.”

“
That’s not nice,” Amelia
hissed.

“
What the heck? She just
said he’s back, so it’s not like I’m speaking ill of the
dead!”

“
I want my life back.” I
rolled my eyes. “Now, I kind of wish he was a ghost, at least he
wouldn’t be able to physically come after me.”

Faith’s usual smile was
nonexistent. “If he’s not a ghost, then what else can he
be?”

Mariah
shrugged.

“
I’m afraid to find out.”
Amelia massaged her temples with her fingers. “What can we
do?”

I stared at the ceiling.
“Faith, aren’t you in a class about urban myths?”