Shades of Gray (10 page)

CHAPTER 17

COLE
knew whatever Steele had to say couldn’t be good. He’d called everyone to his home.
Not the KGI facilities where business was usually dealt with and missions were outlined.

They only waited for Baker to make an appearance, and the atmosphere was thick with
tension and nobody was talking.

He clenched and unclenched his fists and then rose from the patio seat because he
could no longer just sit there idly while waiting to hear what Steele had for them.

The last few weeks had been a fuck storm of frustration and it was wearing on him.
He’d gone on his own to Denver, hoping that P.J. was holed up in her apartment. He
respected the need for her privacy, but he hated that she was alone and had no one
to lean on after what had happened. No one was that much of a hard-ass. She had to
crack sooner or later, and he didn’t want her alone with no one to help pick up the
pieces.

And damn it, he wanted to be that person.

Sure he’d lusted after P.J. for a damn long time, but things had changed between them
that night they’d spent at her apartment. He’d known it and he damn well knew she
knew it as well. It was why she shut him down so quickly and wanted to pretend like
nothing had ever happened.

Well, he couldn’t do that. No matter what she wanted, he couldn’t go back to the easy
camaraderie and bullshit of before. Maybe this was one-sided, but he was carrying
around a pretty heavy obsession for her and it sucked.

If he closed his eyes, he could still smell her. Taste her. Could feel her skin against
his. But it wasn’t just sex. He could get that anywhere, and he’d gone a long time
without because none of the women were P.J.

They just clicked. There was something indefinable about their connection, and he
knew he couldn’t have been the only one to have felt it.

There was an audible sigh of relief when Baker strode through the door a moment later.
He looked tense, as if he were expecting the worst. His gaze automatically swept the
room, and he frowned, almost as if he were doing a head count.

Yeah, they were down one and it sucked.

“What’s up, Steele?” Baker asked.

“Take a seat,” Steele ordered.

Baker slid into one of the chairs and Cole remained standing. Steele didn’t even bark
an order his way.

“P.J. came to see me two days ago,” Steele began.

Cole surged forward. “What the fuck? And you’re just now getting around to telling
me—us? Where is she? How is she? Is she all right?”

Steele held up his hand. His expression was grim. “She quit the team.”

The entire room exploded with what-the-fucks but Cole didn’t say a word. His nostrils
flared and he heaved several breaths through them, willing himself not to lose complete
control.

“Where is she now?” Cole gritted out. Like hell she was quitting. Of all the things
he thought Steele might say, that wasn’t one of them.

Steele sighed. “I don’t know.”

Dolphin held up his hand, his head shaking in disbelief. But Cole beat him to the
punch.

“Let me get this straight. P.J. came to you. She quit the team. And you just let her
walk out of here and you have no idea where she is or where she was going?”

“I told her I wouldn’t accept her resignation,” Steele said. “She was adamant. She
gave me this bullshit story about not wanting to bring the team down and that she
needed time.”

“And you bought that load of crap?” Cole asked incredulously.

Everyone else had quieted and looked between Steele and Cole with apprehension. Steele
was their commander and he was afforded the respect due that position. Always. Until
now. He wasn’t ever questioned. Until now.

“I didn’t say I bought anything, but I couldn’t force her to stay. I can’t force her
to make decisions we think are for the best. She asked for time and space. I couldn’t
not give it to her.”

“Jesus,” Dolphin muttered. “You blew this one, Steele. It’s fine to pull that ice
man routine on the job and on a mission. But this is a goddamn teammate we’re talking
about here. No one gives a fuck about being fair and evenhanded in this situation.
She needs us, and you let her walk away.”

Steele rounded furiously on Dolphin. Before Cole could blink, he had Dolphin against
the wall, his forearm across Dolphin’s neck.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me about being an ice man. I was
there
, remember? I heard every goddamn thing that happened to her. She’s mine. Just like
every one of you are mine. If you don’t think I’m furious over the entire situation
then fuck you.”

Dolphin stared back unflinchingly, and finally Steele loosened his hold and stepped
back. Just as quickly, Steele collected himself and the cool facade was back in place.
But now they all knew just how close he was to the edge.

Cole turned and rammed his fist into the wall. He couldn’t even think for imagining
P.J. alone, feeling God knows what. She’d quit the fucking team. They were family.
And she walked away.

He drew back to hit the wall again and was nearly tackled by Baker and Renshaw. They
took him down, pinning him to the floor.

“Get off me!” Cole roared.

“Chill your ass out,” Renshaw barked. “None of this is helping.”

“Enough!” Steele bellowed.

Cole flipped Baker off his chest and then swung at Renshaw. Renshaw ducked the punch,
but it was enough to unbalance him, and Cole was back on his feet and staring a hole
through Steele.

“I agree with Dolphin on this one, ice man. You blew it.” He advanced on Steele until
it was virtually only the two of them. The others faded into the background as Cole
faced his team leader down.

“Goddamn you, Steele, you knew I was looking for her. You knew I’d been all over Denver.
You knew how fucking worried I’ve been. And you just let her go and you get around
to telling us two days later? What the fuck, man?”

Steele’s jaw tightened. “I hoped she’d change her mind.”

“Yeah, well, how did that work out for you? What the fuck are we supposed to do? Pretend
nothing happened? Move on? Take another mission? Hell, why don’t we just replace her
since she’s so goddamn expendable?”

“Enough, Cole,” Steele said, his voice as cold as ice.

“Enough is right,” Cole said, fury rising, sharper, harder with every breath.

He turned and stalked toward the door.

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Dolphin said. “Where the hell are you going?”

Cole turned and looked at his team,that was no longer the same. It never would be.
It wasn’t a team without P.J.

“I’m out,” he clipped out. “I’m going after P.J. I’m not leaving her to shoulder this
alone. She needs us.”

“Don’t be so damn hotheaded,” Steele growled.

Cole’s lip curled in disgust. “Yeah? Why don’t you stop being so fucking coldhearted.
What you did was wrong and you damn well know it. You should have sat on her if you
had to until we could hash this out as a team.”

“She came to me,” Steele snapped. “Not you. Not the team. She came to me, so I can
only assume she wanted it that way.”

Steele’s words dug deep because he was right. It was obvious P.J. had no intention
of facing Cole, and it gutted him.

“I don’t give a damn what she thinks she wanted,” Cole said softly. “She’s not thinking
straight and we all know it. Sometimes doing the right thing is all wrong. Giving
her space and time and all that other bullshit is great on paper, but you and I both
know that the very last thing she needs is to be alone. We’re her family. Her only
family. We’re supposed to give a damn. We’re supposed to stand up for her when no
one else will. And we’re damn sure supposed to call her out when she’s making stupid
choices and fucking up. That’s what family does. Live and die as a team, right? Well,
you hung her out to dry, Steele. And you hung the rest of us out right along with
her, because now we all look like a bunch of uncaring assholes who just let her walk
away without a fight.”

“Hooyah,” Dolphin said quietly.

Steele looked like he wanted to hit somebody. Cole stared challengingly at him because
right now he’d love a good fight. Steele was rattled, and he didn’t often get rattled,
but Cole didn’t give a shit.

“Her last team did the same goddamn thing we’re doing,” Cole said in disgust. He shouldn’t
break P.J.’s confidence. She’d opened up to him when she hadn’t opened up to anyone
else. But right now he’d fight dirty if that’s what it took. Steele and the others
needed to know what they were dealing with.

“You talking about S.W.A.T.?” Renshaw asked.

“Yeah. She walked away because they hung her out to dry. She did the right thing and
turned in a dirty cop. They turned on her and made her look like a vindictive ex-lover
out for revenge. Not one of them fought for her. Over my dead body is that going to
happen this time. We’re fighting for her. She deserves that much.”

“I’m with Cole on this one,” Baker said in a low voice.

“Me too,” Dolphin said.

“And me,” Renshaw echoed. “She’s one of us. When she goes down, we go down. We’re
not picking up and moving on without her.”

“Hell no,” Cole snarled.

Cole stared at Steele for a long time before finally turning away. “I’m going to be
gone. If you need me, I’ll have my cell.”

Then he turned back to Steele once more when he reached the doorway.

“Consider this my request for vacation time.”

CHAPTER 18

SIX MONTHS LATER . . .

COLE
stepped out of his truck and inhaled the crisp air, trying to shake some of the fog
from his mind. Steele had called him and tersely told him to report to the KGI compound.
He hadn’t waited for confirmation. He’d just issued the order and hung up.

Given what little Cole had given his team since P.J.’s disappearance, Cole was surprised
Steele bothered. He was even more surprised that he found himself here.

Cole had spent the winter alternating between searching for leads on P.J. and secluding
himself at his home in Camden, just a short distance from the KGI compound.

P.J. had vanished. It frustrated him to no end. He’d spent a lot of time canvassing
her neighborhood, talking to people about her. The problem was, no one really knew
her. The bartender and waitress at the pub where he’d gone to see her that first night
said she had been a regular but kept to herself and never talked to other customers.

Cole had even gone so far as to see the commander of her S.W.A.T. unit. It had taken
all he had not to lose his temper and get some payback on P.J.’s behalf, but getting
information had been more important than his fury over her betrayal.

It had been like hitting a brick wall, though. At the mention of P.J.’s name, the
commander had clammed up and refused to discuss anything having to do with her. Cole
told the asshole what he thought about him and his team of dickheads before taking
his leave.

Six months of no sleep and endless frustration were catching up hard with him. He
walked to the entrance to the war room, punched in the pass code and then entered.
As he walked down the short corridor into the main room, he rubbed at his eyes and
then scuffed a hand over his short-cut hair in an effort to look somewhat presentable.

Everyone was present and accounted for, which meant Cole was late. Not that he gave
a shit. He grunted in the general direction of his teammates and slouched into a chair.

“Glad you could make it,” Steele said, a hint of anger in his voice.

“You said it was important. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here at all,” Cole snapped.

He glanced around, frowning as he noticed new faces. There was a guy standing close
to Swanny and Joe, arms crossed, his stance stiff, like he was expecting a fight at
any time. He was about Garrett’s size with tattoos running up both arms, disappearing
behind the short sleeves of his T-shirt.

He looked like he’d been in a few too many bar fights. Cole pegged him as a boxer
or perhaps a mixed martial arts fighter because he had the telltale beginnings of
the cauliflower ears and his nose looked like it had been broken at least once.

Cole tensed when he noticed the female standing between Nathan and Swanny. She was
about P.J.’s size but with honey blond hair and deep blue eyes. She looked young.
Far too young to be working on a mercenary team.

Then he was struck by a terrible thought. His stomach churned and a knot formed in
his gut.

What if they’d called him in to announce that they’d hired someone to fill P.J.’s
position on the team? What if this was some stupid meet and greet? A “let’s make the
new recruit feel welcome.” Bullshit. He wasn’t going there.

He glanced at Steele, looking for some clue, but Steele’s expression was hard and
cold. Cole could get a chill just from looking at his team leader.

“You didn’t hire her to replace P.J.”

He didn’t make it a question, and his disgust was evident for everyone to hear. He
didn’t care. He was in a surly, piss-poor mood and he didn’t really give a fuck who
knew it.

He didn’t want to be here. Especially if he was going to be told he had a new teammate.
This chick couldn’t hold a candle to P.J. Cole didn’t care what her qualifications
were.

Steele’s eyes narrowed, and then he glanced back at the woman before turning back
to Cole.

“She’s a recruit for the new team,” Steele said.

Cole’s eyebrow went up. “What new team?”

“If you’d spent any time with
your
team over the last few months, you’d know that KGI has formed a third team comprised
of Nathan, Joe and Swanny and two new recruits, Skylar Watkins and Zane Edgerton.”

Cole dismissed them in a glance. He wanted to know what the big, hairy deal was that
made Steele call him up. Two new recruits for a team that wasn’t his own couldn’t
have been what made Steele call him in.

Donovan, who’d been on the phone in the corner, stuffed the cell back into his pocket
and then walked over to where everyone else was gathered.

“We have a lead on Brumley,” he said. “We know where he’ll be in three days’ time.
He has another deal going down, one important enough for him to resurface.” Donovan
took a breath and leveled a serious stare at the others. “This one’s big. Much bigger
than past ones. He’s gotten a hell of a lot bolder. It’s thought he has well over
thirty girls. A mixture of nationalities and all under the age of fifteen.”

There were grimaces and noises of disgust. Skylar’s nostrils flared and her eyes burned
with anger.

Cole’s pulse accelerated, and his stomach churned. He’d dreamed of having that son
of a bitch at his mercy. He’d conjured up some pretty harsh images of all the ways
Brumley would die a long, painful death.

He glanced up at Steele, noticing the savage glint in his eyes.

Cole sat forward, propping his elbows on his knees. Yeah, he wanted in, but his first
priority was finding P.J. He couldn’t afford to be distracted by revenge. Killing
Brumley wouldn’t bring P.J. back, as satisfying as seeing the bastard die would be.

He started to get up, his intention to leave. Being here with all the members of KGI
just highlighted P.J.’s absence even more.

The entire idea of a mercenary group was to be detached. Do the job. Don’t get emotionally
involved. Their success hinged on being able to turn off their emotions.

But KGI—his team, headed by Steele—was different. It was a hokey bunch of bullshit,
but the entire KGI organization wasn’t the average gun-for-hire group. They had a
conscience. Their missions were righteous. At least from their perspective, and that
was all that was important. At the end of the day, if they could look at themselves
in the mirror and not flinch away, it was all good.

“Sit down, Cole,” Steele said. “You need to hear this.”

Cole’s jaw tightened, but then he saw the glint in Steele’s eyes. It wasn’t anger
over the fact that Cole had been about to walk out. There was keen interest. Anticipation.
Like something big was about to go down.

It made Cole stop in his tracks.

Donovan picked up a folder from the table and opened it before addressing the occupants
of the room.

“We’ve been looking for Brumley for months. He disappeared, and it seems he’s been
hiding. Which is interesting enough—given his arrogance and the fact that he has so
many connections, he’s never concerned himself with being too obscure.”

“He’s got a damn horseshoe stuck up his ass,” Garrett bit out. “The son of a bitch
is lucky.”

“Yeah, well when you add the kind of money and power he has to luck, you get someone
damn near invincible,” Sam said.

“He’s scared,” Donovan said.

He got everyone’s attention with those words.

“Two members of his personal security team, men he’s never without, have turned up
dead,” Donovan continued. “Brumley doesn’t take a shit without them, so the fact that
someone got close enough to kill his guards is enough to make him spooky. It’s probably
why he’s gone to ground for these past months. He’s been quiet, but the magnitude
of this new deal apparently was enough to flush him out of his dark hole.”

Donovan pulled out a stack of enlarged photos and then carefully laid them out on
the table.

Curiosity got the better of Cole, and he moved so he could see the pictures.

Several whistles and exclamations echoed through the room as everyone crowded around
the table.

“Holy shit,” Dolphin said. “Whoever killed these dudes harbored some serious animosity.
This isn’t a simple execution. This is personal.”

Cole stared down, frozen, as he took in the cuts on the men’s bodies. One vertically
down the midline of their chest. Two more above the ribs. Two on the insides of their
thighs. And each one had his throat slashed. In one instance, the head looked to only
be barely attached to the rest of his body.

Ice crept through his veins until he felt incapable of moving or reacting. Fear clutched
his insides.

“Sweet Jesus,” he finally whispered.

His hands shook as he picked up one of the pictures. Then he looked first at Donovan
and then at Steele. Both had the same recognition in their eyes.

Cole let the picture fall from his fingers to the table. “P.J. went after them.”

“We believe so, yes,” Donovan said grimly.

Cole picked up the picture again, held it up and pointed to the knife wounds. “Believe?
This is pretty conclusive evidence. These wounds are identical to the ones that bastard
put on P.J. You were there. The only people who saw them were us and the assholes
responsible for it happening to her. We’re supposed to believe it’s a coincidence
P.J. quits her team, disappears and then guys who have ties to Brumley start showing
up dead?”

“It’s why we want to get to Brumley before she does,” Steele said.

“Hell yes we have to get to him before she does,” Cole bit out. “I don’t want her
near that bastard ever again.”

Dear God. The idea of P.J. going vigilante filled him with gut-wrenching fear he hadn’t
felt since he was a brand-new navy recruit back in the day.

She could be dead even now. What if she’d attempted to get to Brumley and the bastard
had her right now? Nelson had wanted her as a plaything and would have kept her if
Brumley had allowed it. If they ever got their hands on her again, there was no telling
what they’d do to her.

“She started with the two men who were there but didn’t participate in the attack
on her,” Donovan said in a quiet voice. “There were only four men there when she was
raped. Two are dead, which leaves Nelson and Brumley. I think we can assume she has
plans to go after both of them. Our intel says that Brumley and Nelson both will be
present for this deal to go down. If you want my opinion, I think Brumley knows P.J.
is after him and he’s scared because she managed to get to his men without anyone
discovering her. But he’s also a greedy bastard, and if he thinks he can surface to
make a deal, he’ll do it. He’ll just beef up security.”

“Or he could be fucking with her,” Dolphin said grimly. “He’s the type whose ego wouldn’t
allow him to hide from a woman. I’m with Cole. I don’t want that bastard anywhere
near her, or rather her anywhere near
him
.”

The others nodded their agreement.

Cole didn’t want to even think of P.J. falling into Brumley’s hands again. He couldn’t
go there or he’d lose his damn mind. He glanced up at the others, resolve etched in
every word. “Nothing we can’t handle, right?”

Steele lifted an eyebrow. “That mean you in or you still plan to fuck around solo.”

“Oh, I’m in,” Cole said. “I want to take out both those bastards before P.J. has a
chance to get to them. I don’t want her to go through what she did all over again.”

Dolphin, Baker and Renshaw closed in around Steele and Cole. They exchanged fierce
looks, their intentions made without ever uttering a word.

“I’m in too,” Donovan said.

Steele frowned. “This is my mission, Van. You’re not taking over. This involves my
team. My teammates.”

Sam started to open his mouth, but Donovan shot him a stare that had him backing down.
Garrett frowned but didn’t intervene. The rest of the members of KGI looked on with
abject interest.

“You’ve got the lead, Steele,” Donovan said calmly. “But I’m along for the ride. I
was there. I may not be a member of your team, but I was there with P.J. I heard every
goddamn thing you did. I’m the one who let her get away at the party. I have as much
a stake in this as you and your team do. P.J. is KGI. You’re all KGI. I’d feel the
same if it was any other person.”

Garrett couldn’t contain his silence any longer. “I think we should send at least
two teams.”

“Who are you going to send?” Cole demanded. “No way a new team can handle this.” He
sent an apologetic look in Nathan and Joe’s direction. “No offense to your team, but
this is too important to fuck up.”

He turned his stare back to Sam, Garrett and Donovan. Yeah, technically they ran the
show, but everyone knew the teams operated independently.

Donovan stared intently at his two older brothers. “Steele’s team goes and I go with
them. You can help by providing intel. But we do this Steele’s way.”

“Then let’s get it done,” Cole cut in impatiently.

He was tired of talking. He was tired of arguing. He just wanted to get moving so
he could get to Brumley before P.J. did. If she hadn’t already.

There was a murmur of conversation, mostly between Sam, Garrett and Donovan. Cole’s
thoughts had drifted to P.J., wondering if he should have been focusing his search
internationally. He would never have dreamed P.J. would have gone after them herself,
but it all suddenly made sense.

Why she’d left. Why she’d been so adamant that she cut all ties with her team. It
wasn’t that she wanted to. She’d done it because she hadn’t wanted to involve them.

He wanted to strangle her. Anything that happened to her involved the team whether
she liked it or not. Just as had been the case when Cole and then Dolphin had taken
a bullet while on a mission.

She hadn’t minded butting in then to boss them around and make sure they were resting.
But then they hadn’t planned a vigilante mission to go track down scumbags on their
own either.

“Cole, a word,” Steele said tersely.

Cole turned and met his team leader’s gaze. Steele motioned toward the door and then
left the war room. Cole followed him outside and then a short distance away before
they both halted.