Shades of Temptation (15 page)

“No. I don’t think that, Jase.”

He closed his eyes in relief. “Thank God.”

She couldn’t stand the distance between them anymore. She moved
closer. Closer. Until she was right in front him. Until she could place her hand
on his shoulder.

That’s when she noticed he was shaking. “Jase?”

He pulled her toward him and buried his face in her neck. The
arms he wrapped around her felt desperate, but they made her feel safe.
Loved.

This strong man cared so much about her that he was shaking
over something that had happened to her years ago. She stroked his hair. “Shh.
I’m okay, Jase.”

He was quiet for a long time. So quiet that she pulled back and
cupped his face, making him look into her eyes. “I’m okay, Jase,” she whispered.
“You—you make me feel okay. You make me feel like I can be strong and less than
strong, too.” It was true, she thought. She’d exposed her weakest self to this
man yet he made her feel far from weak. She felt worthy. Worthy because he cared
for her. Wanted to protect and pleasure her.

And she wanted him to, she realized.

Now. This very moment.

Tentatively, she touched her finger to his mouth. Instantly his
eyes flared with desire. “We got off track here, Jase. I—I said I need you,
remember? And you said you were here for me. Has what I told you changed
that?”

He frowned. “Of course not, but what you’ve told me—”

“What I told you is my past, Jase. The future can bring
something else. Pleasure. No strings attached. If it’s what you want, too.”

Staring at her, he didn’t smile. He didn’t joke. He didn’t
reassure her. Not with words. Instead, he studied her expression, looking for
any sign of hesitation or fear on her part. Finding none, he reached down, took
her hand and led her into his bedroom.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

J
ASE
HAD
NEVER
BEEN
so conflicted about bedding a woman before.
Conflicted, hell. He was scared out of his mind right now.

What she’d told him hadn’t changed his feelings for her—he
still wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman—but it did make him
uncertain about how to proceed. The last thing he wanted was to scare her or
bring back bad memories.

He wasn’t surprised to learn what she’d gone through. With her
military and police background, Carrie would have met and attracted a lot of men
who would have been equally drawn to and repulsed by her strength. That a man
had crossed the line to prove his power to her didn’t surprise him, especially
because it had happened when she was in college. She would have been young and
still trying to figure out her place in the world.

She couldn’t have known that her place in the world was right
here with him.

God, she’d been raped. Carrie. His strong, tough, passionate
Carrie had been violated in a way that made him want to kill someone. At the
same time, it made him want to sweep her into his arms and carry her away
someplace safe, where danger and pain could never touch her.

But that could never happen. Darkness and pain were parts of
Carrie’s life the same way they were his. Plus, she’d hate him for trying to
protect her. For seeing her as less than capable of protecting herself.

So he’d take what she’d offered. The chance to show her that
while she was strong, she could be more—and less—than that, too. He could admire
her for being the cop, but he could offer the woman something, as well.
Pleasure. With no strings attached. Just as he’d told her.

As they stopped in front of his bed, Jase thanked God that he
didn’t fold easily under pressure. As much as he wanted to savor the pleasure of
being with Carrie, he knew something momentous was on the line here. He wasn’t
just about to please a woman sexually, he was going to solidify or destroy her
preconceived notions about men and their inability to handle a woman that was
strong yet vulnerable, feminine yet tough.

Jase wouldn’t have a problem with her strength in bed. He
wanted her to take what she wanted, especially if what she wanted was him. The
question was, how was
he
going to proceed
tonight?

The only answer he could think of? He’d proceed exactly how
Carrie wanted to proceed. Whatever she needed from him, he would give her. But
she’d have to be the one to decide exactly what it was she wanted from him. All
he knew was that he wanted her.

He’d take her however he could get her.

* * *

C
ARRIE
WASN
’
T
SURE
if she was about to make the
biggest mistake of her life or if she was finally being brave enough to reach
out for what she’d wanted for so long but had been too afraid to take. To
distract herself, she looked around Jase’s bedroom, liking the clean lines and
simplicity of it. It was like him—attractive and compelling without too much
effort, yet the effort was there. Things matched. Reflected care and good taste.
But nothing was overblown or garish. His private space showed he took care of
himself and enjoyed the finer things in life but that he was a man of substance,
too.

Once again, she wondered what she was doing here. Why he even
wanted her. She wasn’t like the fine things he filled his life with. The
expensive tailored suits. The hundred-dollar haircuts. The expensive bottle of
wine he’d ordered at dinner. She was more common. Simpler. Plainer. She was
vanilla ice cream to his dulce de leche gelato. She was steak and potatoes to
his filet mignon and lobster bisque. She was ugly and unfeminine compared to the
beautiful women he dated. Beautiful women like Kelly Sorenson. At least, she’d
been beautiful, before a killer had gotten to her.

The reminder of the job they had waiting for them in the
morning had her frowning. He’d said it was important to look for beauty and
pleasure when they could, not in spite of the job they did but because of it
even, but it didn’t seem right, reaching out for pleasure when there was such
dark, horrible stuff happening in the world. When there were boys like Kevin
Porter that were being shot by cops like her and leaving their grandmothers to
grieve and—

“Shh,” Jase whispered as he framed her face in his big hands
again. “I can tell your mind’s going a million miles per minute. Come back to
me, Carrie. Stay with me.”

She shook her head. “We have to work tomorrow, Jase. Kelly
Sorenson—”

“Kelly Sorenson is dead. We’re going to do everything we can to
find her killer, but the fact remains, we’re alive, Carrie. Here. Now. Whatever
we do, no matter how thoroughly we dedicate ourselves to helping victims of
crime, we can’t lose ourselves in the process. We have to live our lives, too.
So let me help you live. Let me help you feel alive. Let me give you pleasure
with no strings attached.”

She stared at him, wondering if this was really happening.
Could he be the man to finally give her pleasure and really not expect anything
from her in return? Not expect her to bow down to his masculinity afterward? Not
expect her to diminish her strength in order to pave the way for his own
ego?

Yes, she realized. Jase could be that man. He was good. A good
cop. From everything she’d heard and witnessed, he was popular with the ladies
and obviously a good lover. He didn’t have anything to prove. Not through her.
He was already secure in his life. In who he was. Maybe that’s what had drawn
her to him all along.

“Do you have protection?”

“Nightstand.”

With a sigh, she put her arms around his neck. He wore nothing
but the baggy pair of pajama pants, and through the thin material of her
T-shirt, she felt her hardened nipples drilling into the hard muscles of his
chest. She rubbed herself against him, trying to ease the ache that had
insinuated itself into all her nooks and crannies, but she couldn’t seem to get
close enough. Even with his hard shaft pushing against her through the thin
material of their pajama bottoms, it wasn’t enough. She needed all the barriers
between them to be gone. Now.

Wrenching away, she swiftly pulled her T-shirt off her head
then pushed down her pants and panties in one fell swoop. His eyes devoured her,
traveling over her breasts and lower body with a searing gaze that lasered into
her and made her feel all warm and gooey inside, like honey simmering over an
open flame.

Holding his gaze with her own, she reached out and pushed down
his pants and boxers, as well. As soon as his shaft sprang free, she encircled
it with her fingers. He groaned but kept his hands loose and at his sides, as if
he was at her command, willing for her to do with him what she wanted.

But his eyes, heavy-lidded and drowsy, burning with the fire of
a thousand suns, blazed into hers and made her feel as if she was the helpless
one. The one under his command.

“You said you wouldn’t have a problem with me…taking over. That
still the case?”

He smirked and finally lifted his hand to caress her cheek.
“Take all you want,” he said hoarsely.

She laughed and pushed him so that he sprawled back onto the
bed. Swiftly, she retrieved the box of condoms from the nightstand. Then she
climbed on top of him, took what she wanted and relished the knowledge that it
was exactly what he wanted, too.

* * *

S
HE
MIGHT
NOT
HAVE
had sex for six years, but Carrie was far from
out of practice. At least, that’s how it seemed to him. Lying flat on his back,
he marveled at her graceful movements as she kissed his throat and chest,
working her way down his body with flattering enthusiasm. She hadn’t kissed him
on the lips yet, something he hadn’t missed and wasn’t about to let her get away
with, but for now…

He hissed when she enveloped him. His flesh felt scalded by the
wet heat of her mouth and for a moment he closed his eyes to savor it. But he
didn’t keep his eyes closed for long. He couldn’t. He wanted to imprint the
image of his fingers tangled in Carrie’s glorious red hair on his mind forever.
Her body was pale but sleekly muscled, with a solidness that was absent from
most fashionably thin women today, but he liked the differences he saw in her.
It made her seem more real somehow. Made him feel confident that she could take
anything that he dished out and still have enough left over to dish some out, as
well. Even though right now he was having doubts about how much more he could
handle.

Jase wasn’t ashamed to admit he loved being the focus of a
woman’s intimate attention, probably more so than even the average guy, who he
was sure loved it plenty. And Carrie seemed to be born for this particular task.
She moaned as if the taste and feel of him in her mouth gave her just as much
pleasure as it gave him, and if that was anywhere close to being true, he was
glad.

Obviously, she’d made her choice. Playing the submissive wasn’t
in the cards for her today. So Jase tamped down on his very strong desire to
flip her on her back and show her exactly what he could do with his mouth, too.
It had nothing to do with competition but rather with wanting to give her so
much pleasure that she couldn’t help coming back for more. And more and more.
Until not a day went past that they didn’t touch each other and pleasure each
other with a mind-blowing intensity despite the darkness of their jobs.

She increased the suction, and her tongue lingered against a
particularly sensitive spot on the bottom of his shaft, causing him to hiss and
punch his hips upward. She peered up at him, her gaze hot and intense, filled
with satisfaction at the pleasure she was giving him.

“I’m supposed to be pleasing you,” he gritted out, not exactly
in protest but to communicate he hadn’t forgotten.

She swirled her tongue around the head of him, then
straightened and moved over his thighs, straddling him and rubbing her wet core
against him. “You are. This is pleasing me. This is what I want. No strings
attached, right?”

He folded his hands behind his head in order to stop himself
from reaching out to her, then thought, what the hell. Just because she was on
top didn’t mean that he had to be completely passive. While she slid a condom on
him, he cupped her breasts then circled his palms against her pointed nipples.
She moaned and closed her eyes, arching forward for more of his touch. Unable to
resist, he craned his neck up and sucked a nipple into his mouth. She tasted
damn delicious, so he stayed there for some time. Sucking. Licking. Nibbling.
Then moved on to the other nipple as she cradled his head in her hands. He was
so immersed in what he was doing that he barely noticed that she’d shifted.

He shouted and fell back as she took him to the hilt. His
fingers clasped her hips and flexed, struggling not to immediately lift her up
and slam her back down. This was her ride, he reminded himself. Her show.
Whatever she wanted for her own pleasure, not for his. But he knew they were one
and the same. Anything that pleased her would inevitably please him, as
well.

She stayed still for several minutes while he throbbed inside
her. Her eyes were closed, her brow furrowed in concentration, as if she was
trying to absorb every flutter of sensation she was feeling. Finally, without
opening her eyes, she began to move. She lifted herself up, slowly, until he
almost slipped out of her altogether. Then, with a desperate whimper and a bite
of her lip, she sank down on him again, slowly again, so slowly. She repeated
the torturous, motions several times, until Jase was clawing at the bedsheets
and grinding his teeth to keep from begging her to take him harder. Faster.

She was so glorious. Beautiful. Powerful.

And he happily relinquished himself to that power. His time
would come later. At least, he hoped and prayed she’d trust him enough to give
him that.

For a second, the memory of their conversation came to him,
including her confession that she’d been raped. He felt the punch of anger
again. Regret. He wished he could take every ounce of pain she’d suffered and
make it disappear as if it had never happened, yet he knew her past had formed
who she was today.

A sexy, amazing woman who didn’t realize the joy she brought
others.

The joy she brought him.

As if she read his mind, her eyes flew open and locked with
his. Jase sucked in a breath at all the pleasure and delight he saw reflected in
their blue depths. Her hips began to retreat and return with more speed and more
force than before, shooting sensation up his legs and down his spine to gather
inside the flesh that was so happily buried inside her. Even as she embraced the
pleasure, Jase felt a moment’s hesitation.

Hell, what was he thinking? Sex with Carrie was something he’d
wanted for a long time, but did he honestly think her place was with him? Not
just here in bed, for the here and now, but forever? Hadn’t he always told
himself that he couldn’t handle that, being with a woman as strong-willed and
passionate as Carrie, one who would constantly challenge him?

That’s what he told himself, he acknowledged, but with her on
top of him, with him inside her, with the memory of how well they’d worked
together and fought together these past few days, he couldn’t remember why he’d
ever considered Carrie challenging him for the rest of his life a bad thing.

It could only give him pleasure. As much pleasure as she was
giving him now. Even more, so long as he knew she was truly his for the rest of
their lives.

Her thrusting hips picked up speed right along with their
breaths. Her palms were flattened on his chest, her fingers brushing his nipples
as her hips shuttled back and forth over him. In and out. Hot and hotter. Wet
and wetter. Everything taking on more intensity and more vibrancy the longer she
moved. Until each individual sensation began to tangle with the other, winding
itself into a bigger and bigger mass that soon became too huge for their bodies
to contain.