Shades of the Past (22 page)

She smiled softly.  "I'm not afraid, especially with you near to save me." 

Adrian's features sobered, then turned grave.  He released her hand and he stepped away from the bed, averting his gaze.

"Vanessa, there are things about me you do not know.  Even if I am not cursed, a darkness follows me.  I would not have that poison touch you.  It is still best that I go."

Vanessa wavered, his words taking her aback at first, then giving way to a deep-felt sadness for him.  Adrian remained chained to his past, to its over-riding sorrows and injustices.  Did he not see it was within his power to release himself from those bonds?

Vanessa slipped from the bed and moved to his side.  

"I know your burden," she offered gently, cautiously, fearing to say the wrong thing but unwilling to say nothing.  "I know you have been falsely accused of murdering both your wives."

Adrian's gaze swept to hers, his brows colliding over eyes that snapped with anger.  "Did Lawrence tell you this?"

"Do not blame him.  I pressed your brother for the truth yesterday, in Hereford.  I'd bungled things so atrociously during your portrait sitting, I insisted on knowing how I'd hurt you."

The fire dwindled in his eyes to a smoldering look.  "You say I was accused 'falsely,' but do you not fear the accusations are true?"

Vanessa held his gaze evenly, sensitive to the challenge contained in his voice, sensitive to the raw emotions underlining its tone.

"You are no murderer, Adrian."

“How can you possibly know with certainty one way or another?”  He grasped her by the shoulders, looming above her.  “I am a man engulfed in shadows, Vanessa.  Shadows of which I will never be fully free.  I won’t have them consume you too."

Vanessa gasped at the anguish burning in his eyes.  Before she could speak, he loosed his hold of her and started for the door.

"Adrian!" she choked out, realizing his intentions.  "You claim to love me.  Can you abandon me so easily?"

Adrian balled his hands at his sides and stayed his steps.  "It's not easy.  God, nothing has been easy these past years."

Vanessa closed the distance between them, coming to stand directly behind him.  She reached out to touch him, then pulled back her hand. 

"Adrian, you can leave this room if you wish.  You can leave Sherringham and England itself and escape to the ends of the earth.  But you cannot escape your heart.  And neither can I escape mine."

Adrian remained motionless—for three solid heartbeats—then spun around.  He pulled Vanessa against him, his mien having taken on a fearsome cast.  She could see the conflict in his eyes, his emotions running high as he warred within himself.  She braced herself before the storm of those emotions, refusing to be shaken or dissuaded from drawing Adrian out of his darkness and opening his heart.

"You do not know what you ask," he declared gruffly, his hold tightening on her, unaware of his strength.  “My staying will only bring you regret.”

"I don’t accept that—
won’t
accept that.”  Vanessa locked her gaze firmly with his.   “I love you, Adrian, with the full of my heart.  Love may not always be an easy path, but it is worth the risk.” 

“Vanessa— “ He began to object.

She pressed her hands to his chest.  “Do you not see, my dearest?  For too long you have walled yourself behind a fortress, shutting out the pain, but also dwelling in shadows of your own making.  Yet, I see the light that yet shines in your heart.  You cannot hide it, and I would see it burn brighter still.”

Vanessa raised on tiptoe and spread open the neck of his shirt, forcing several buttons to pull free.  She pushed aside the cloth, her heart drumming in her chest.  Then boldly, unabashedly, she pressed her lips to his heated skin, placing a kiss directly over his heart.

Adrian groaned, a tortured sound, wrested from the depths of his soul.  His arms encompassed her and he sank his fingers into her hair.

“Vanessa, Vanessa,” he rasped, his voice taut, strained.

She glanced upward as he clamped shut his eyes and struggled against the bonds that had held him for so long.  Suddenly, she felt the tension flow out of him, though his hold on her remained secure. 

Opening his eyes, his gaze drew to Vanessa and melded with hers.  She watched spellbound as the light in his eyes transformed, and the barriers seemingly tumbled down from around him.  Where pain had congested his eyes moments before, now they blazed with a fiery passion.  

Adrian's lips met hers in a hungry, urgent kiss.  Impatience possessed them both as they eagerly tasted one another, their hands straying, exploring, holding each other tight.

 Without breaking their kiss, Adrian swept Vanessa into his arms and carried her swiftly to the bed.  In one movement, he lay her gently upon the mattress and covered her body with his.

Leaving her mouth, he rained kisses over her throat and beneath her jaw, then laved the hollow of her neck with his tongue.  Vanessa arched against him, passion
overriding any previous aches or complaints.  Her heart raced as she relished Adrian’s attentions, her body awakening to his touch.  Slipping her hands inside his shirt, she splayed her hands over the hard planes of his chest and reveled in the warmth of his hair-roughened skin.

Adrian claimed her mouth once more and urged her lips apart, invading their recesses.  She hesitated at first, but as his tongue stroked and tantalized hers, she came alive to his invitation and followed his lead.  Liquid desire flowed through her.

Hazily, she felt him tug free the ribbons fronting her gown.  The fabric parted beneath his fingers, and he began to strew kisses down the column of her neck and then along her collarbone.  Vanessa moaned, pleasure radiating through her as he found her breast.

“Adrian . . .”  His name slipped from her lips, her need sharpening. 

His hand traced downward over her hip and thigh, then began to draw up her gown.

Love consumed them as Adrian covered her lips with the warmth of his own and carried her with him into the explosive fires of passion.

      Vanessa rested contentedly in the circle of Adrian’s arms, her head upon his shoulder.  Together, they gazed out the chamber's graceful, six-lobed window and watched as the first blush of dawn awakened the skies.

Supremely happy, she turned and pressed a kiss to Adrian's bare chest.  He gently squeezed her arm in response, conveying his own contentment.

“I could wake every morning like this, love, with you in my arms,” he sighed.

“As could I.”  She smiled, snuggling into him.

They’d slept little during the last hours, their initial coupling but a prelude to a night filled with ecstasy and with love.  Once Adrian and she had recovered from their first, cataclysmic joining, they’d made love again, this time slowly, leisurely, two lovers exploring and cherishing one another, leaving no secrets between them. 

They’d drifted into a light slumber for a time.  Shortly before dawn, they’d awakened, craving each other anew, this time with an urgent need to assure all they’d shared was real and not merely a dream that would vanish with the coming light.  Now they lay entwined in the afterglow of their lovemaking, their hearts beating in perfect unison.

As the sky continued to lighten, Adrian dropped a kiss to Vanessa’s temple.  “I must go, love, before we are found out and your reputation is hopelessly ruined.”

Smiling, Vanessa raised herself and leaned partially atop him.  “I suppose you could use a shave, or I’ll soon have no skin left on me at all,” she teased, drawing her finger across his beard-roughened jaw.  “I shall probably shock the good doctor as it is when he examines me and discovers red blotches covering my face and neck.”

“And many other places as well.”  Adrian chuckled, flashing her a thoroughly wicked and unrepentant grin.

Vanessa returned his smile, silently rejoicing in his transformation.  Free of the pain shackling him to the darkness of his past, he was now like a man resurrected and brought into the brilliance of day.  His very soul glowed, she thought to herself.  Even his countenance had changed, the lines of his face relaxed and softened, making him more handsome than before—if that was possible.

Adrian rolled Vanessa onto her back and gazed on her lovingly.  “Are you all right, my darling?  You’ve had an exceptionally vigorous night for one recovering from a fall.”

“More than all right.”  She fingered a lock of hair back from his forehead.  “Though I intend to lay blame for all my new aches and pains entirely to you.”

“For that, I will most gladly plead guilty,” he avowed and kissed her fully.

Rising from the bed, he reached for his clothes.  Vanessa drank in the sight of his tall, well-muscled body as he donned his trousers and shirt and began to work the buttons.  Finishing, he sat beside her on the edge of the bed and pulled on his boots.  He then turned and
brushed a kiss over her lips, love shining in his eyes.

"No man on God's earth can be as happy as I, my darling.  I want you always by my side.  I am an honorable man, Vanessa, and I intend to keep you an honorable woman.  Have no fear of that.”

Vanessa laid her fingers to Adrian's lips, realizing where his heart and words led, but not wishing to face the question of their future yet.  He knew nothing of her inadequacies.  Indeed, she'd forgotten them herself, given the headiness of the night.  In all probability, she could give Adrian no children, no heir. 

"Kiss me, my dearest," she said quickly, unwilling to confess her shortcomings to him just now, and ruin his happiness.

His mouth moved over hers in a firm but gentle kiss.  He then pressed his lips to her forehead  before rising and crossing to the door.

  "Rest now, love, and regain your strength.  I promise you will need it.”  With a wink and a
grin, he departed, closing the door behind him.
 

Vanessa lay back on the pillows, visualizing Adrian even after he'd gone.  He'd walked several feet off the floor, his demeanor infinitely more relaxed than yesterday.  Everyone in Sherringham would notice.  They'd have to be blind not to.

She drew up the sheets.  Perhaps there was no reason to hide their feelings for one another.  On the other hand, with one look at Adrian anyone could guess he'd released his tensions and taken his pleasures in the most physical of ways.  One look at her, they'd know exactly the playground upon which he’d spent his passions. 

Vanessa sank farther into the bed, pulling the covers to her chin.  Perhaps, she would take Adrian's advice and rest in her chamber today after all, safely away from curious, prying eyes.

»«

By mid-morning, Dr. Hambley arrived to poke, prod and question his patient.  He pronounced Vanessa well but encouraged her to remain abed for as long as she need and to take particular care when exerting herself.  She could only wonder if he'd encountered Adrian upon his arrival, and if the two were in collusion together.

To Vanessa's surprise, shortly before noon, a steady trickle of visitors began to arrive at her chamber, bearing well wishes and elated by her recovery.  She felt like royalty holding court, though she was keenly aware of the inquisitiveness that lay behind their smiling eyes. 

Only Nanny, with her clutch of wildflowers, and young Geoffrey, who arrived with his parents, were unaware of the speculations thickly layering the air.  Nanny chattered on about the upcoming benefit for the orphans and widows over which she and Joan Timmons had charge.  Geoffrey, on the other hand, assured Vanessa that he'd retrieved her camera and box of negatives from the tower study and returned them safely to the Photo House.

"Thank you, Geoffrey."  She smiled at the boy.  "I'm sorry we must postpone our outing for another day or so.  You were going to choose the location and time the exposures." 

"That's all right, Mrs. Wynters.  Besides, I'm teaching Rascal new tricks.  Maybe we can photograph him instead," he said cheerfully, then scratched his nose.  "If I can get him to sit still long enough, that is."

Vanessa chuckled.  "Keep practicing with the pup then.  He'll make a captivating subject and be worth all your efforts, I'm sure."

Geoffrey took leave of Vanessa and his mother, who chose to remain behind.  Together with his father, they led Nanny out, promising to escort her back to her rooms.  Once the door closed behind them, Cissy settled herself in the chair beside Vanessa's bed and smiled, her eyes twinkling.

"I'm not sure the news reached you, but Adrian was heard singing in the corridors when he came down to breakfast.  He proceeded to regale us all with an array of witty stories over our meal, as he was once given to do."

Cissy sat forward to the edge of the chair, her eyes wide and intent as she drew close to Vanessa. 

"My brother is obviously overjoyed and relieved that you have recovered from your accident and without serious harm.  I do not know what transpired between the two of you, nor do I wish to.  But something transformed Adrian.  He is not the same tormented man who insisted he alone keep vigil over you last night, barring even myself from your side."

Cissy swept her gaze over the chamber then returned it to Vanessa, tears glossing her eyes.  "Whatever took place here, thank you.  Thank you for restoring our brother to us—the brother we've always known until these last horrid years stole him from us."

Cissy's words took Vanessa aback, touching her deeply.  "But, I really didn't do anything—”

"Of course you did."  Cissy reached out and squeezed Vanessa's hand.  "You opened Adrian's heart and helped him to feel again, to love again.  I feared he never would.  Now I know those fears were misplaced.  A special angel brought you to us, Vanessa.  Perhaps that credit belongs to Aunt Gwen.  You know, in way, you've already been part of the Marrables for several years now.  I hope that won't change."

Rising from the chair, Cissy bent to Vanessa and kissed her on both cheeks. 

"I really must go now and help Henry and Geoffrey with Nanny."  She smiled, swiping away a tear.  "Majel has a way of pushing in unannounced.  She's been giving Nanny a bit of difficulty over Aunt Gwen's clothes and the pricing.  But oh, Joan Timmons is a marvel with them both.  Adrian really does know what he is doing there.  Still, I like to look in on them and do what I can."

Smiling, Cissy withdrew, passing Mary Ethel as she departed the room. 

The maid entered with a porcelain tea service on a tray and carried it to the table standing right of the fireplace.  She turned and started to speak when Lawrence appeared at the door and strode across the room. 

Vanessa straightened at once and drew up the covers, despite the fact she wore a concealing bed jacket. 

Mary Ethel's timing was impeccable, she thought to herself.  Adrian had kindly assigned the maid to attend to her needs and requests.  As Vanessa had few, Mary Ethel had spent much of her time embroidering by the window, leaving only long enough to bring the pot of tea.  Now Vanessa was especially grateful that she'd returned in time to serve as her chaperon.

Lawrence's smile appeared noticeably strained as he came to stand before her and held forth a bouquet of crimson roses, arranged in a crystal vase.  Vanessa felt a twinge of guilt, as well as embarrassment, as she accepted them.  Lawrence had made his interest in her quite clear on more than one occasion.  Meanwhile, she'd fallen in love with his brother, Adrian. 

"What lovely roses," she commented self-consciously, avoiding his gaze but feeling his eyes burn into her nonetheless.  "I'm amazed there are any in bloom this time of year."

 "They are from the Orangery," he said stiffly.  "I've already begun to cultivate several varieties there.  I had hoped to present them to you on a much different occasion."

Vanessa glanced to the maid and held forth the flowers.  "Could you place these by the window, Mary Ethel?"  Giving the vase over, she watched as the maid placed them on the sill.

 "You appear well," Lawrence declared coolly, his tone carefully leashed.  "Positively glowing, I would say, for one who's taken so frightful a fall."

Vanessa met Lawrence's gaze, struggling to curb her nerves before his judgmental assessment. 

"Yes, I'm very fortunate.  I should have listened to you more closely in the cathedral when I tripped on the staircase.  I suppose it was an omen."

"Yes, you should have listened to
all
I said.  I tried to warn you."

"Of the stairs?"

"That too."  He shifted his stance, blocking her view of the maid at the window.  "Obviously, there is something between yourself and my esteemed brother.  I'm not oblivious to his moods, Vanessa."

She lifted her chin defiantly, sensitive to the angry undercurrents in his tone.  "If you must know, we care deeply for one another.  Are you not happy for your brother, that he could again find love?"

"Boundlessly.  But are you so certain it is love?"  He took a step toward her.  "Take care, Vanessa.  I fear for your choice.  The women in Adrian's life have not fared well in the past."

A chill passed through Vanessa.  "I don't believe in curses, Lawrence," she shot back.

"Neither do I, sweet Vanessa.  Neither do I." 

At that, Lawrence turned on his heel and quit the room. 

Vanessa glared after him.
 If Lawrence did not believe in curses, then what did he suggest—that Adrian was a murderer after all?  He deserved the roses crashing at his back.

Vanessa looked to Mary Ethel whose eyes at this moment were great, round discs.  "Please leave me for a little while, and take the roses from my sight."

After the maid had gone, Vanessa rose to pace the room until her anger was largely spent then returned to the bed to rest again and warm her feet.

Her spirits lifted when Adrian entered a short time later, bearing a tray of cold meat pies, cheeses, and wine.  She resolved to mention nothing to him of her conversation with Lawrence and set the episode from her mind.  Giving her attention fully to Adrian, she smiled in greeting, happy to see him.

He returned her smile, but she immediately detected something amiss, his mood somehow changed.  Her stomach clenched.  Had Lawrence said something to him?  Did Adrian regret last night?  She quickly slid from the bed and went to where he stood by the table, slipping her arms about him.
 

"What is it, darling?  Is something wrong?" 

He placed a kiss to her forehead, encircling her with his arms.  "Nothing is wrong, exactly.  I went to the Photo House as you suggested and retrieved the photograph of the gallery from the drawer." 

He released her long enough to remove the picture from inside his jacket pocket.  Together, they gazed on the misted figure. 

"I never doubted you for a minute, my love.  I just find it startling . . . and unsettling . . . to see proof of the ghost for myself, that is all."

"It was difficult for me at first, too."  She gave a squeeze to his waist.  "That is why I rode out on Delilah—to clear my head."

"You say you took more pictures yesterday?"

Vanessa nodded.  "Yes, one outside the tower itself and a second inside, in front of the spiral stairs.  The specter seemed particularly agitated there." 

Adrian rubbed her arms, his interest piqued.  "Let us take our lunch here, love.  Then, if you feel up to it, we can go to the Photo House and develop the negatives."